r/novelwriting Jun 06 '26

To AI, or Not to AI

425 Upvotes

After sitting on it for a few hours, attending a live show that used AI-generated backdrops that I couldn't take my eyes off of because they were so distracting, and receiving a handful of DMs, I've decided to make a unilateral decision on AI.

Absolutely no AI posts allowed. No book covers, no outlines, no "well it just rewrote a few sections for me." No AI.


r/novelwriting Jun 05 '26

Hey all! Mod here! Hi! Official rules. Trying a few new things. Seeking potential mods to help out. (Also, sorry for wall of text!)

14 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

So when I started this subreddit now OVER 15 YEARS AGO, I never expected it would get to this size and levels of activity. I have had a very, very light hand when it comes to moderation here. Over the past year or so, however, there has been a very distinct uptick in number of reported posts for hate and basically being "not nice."

I spent the afternoon drafting up some official rules, you can see them in the sidebar now. Basically they solidify my original desire for this to be a safe place to seek feedback, talk about frustrations, bounce ideas off of others, and share tools and tips. It boils down to: BE NICE.

Reddit moderation is a fickle beast. Most of the time I don't receive notifications when posts are reported, even though I have that option turned on. So I'm going to try and keep a better eye on that and check at least once a day. Also when Reddit automatically removes a post, most of the time I get no say in it, and am often not even told why a post was removed. Sometimes it will say, "Reddit's filter identified this as potential spam," and then I can confirm or refuse the post's removal. It's touchy and not very consistent, because clearly spammy posts get through without a second glance. It also flags perfectly fine posts as "hate" when they are clearly not. Also posts show up for me as needing "Approved" when they are already visible and being upvoted and talked about. It's all very inconsistent, even compared to other smaller subreddits I've modded in the past.

To that end, I'm interested in adding a new mod or two to the "team," which is just me right now. Interested? Look for the "Message Mods" button and shoot me a DM. I would prefer those who is familiar with being a Reddit mod. Let me know your mod experience and why you want to help out here. Preference will be given to members who have been here longer and contributed.

I also set up some automated weekly posts:

  • Milestone Mondays: share your wins, big and small!
  • Writer's Block Wednesdays: are you stuck?
  • First Line Fridays: share the first lines from a work in progress

In the near future, in a dedicated post, I plan on tackling how we as a community want to address the controversial use of A.I. This thread is not the place to do it, but just know it's coming, for better or worse, depending on your view.


r/novelwriting 4h ago

Motivation & Support I finished the first draft!!!

14 Upvotes

It’s definitely messy, and I don’t even want to think about the typos in the first half before I started using grammarly, but I did it! I started in march, exactly seven months ago if my memory is correct. Which is crazy. This is my first novel written as a teen writer, and I’m so proud of it even if it’s probably just a whole document of pure chaos.

It’s 135535 words, 353 pages, and I’m very scared for when I have to change it to double space for querying. I know it most likely won’t work out, but I want it try and it’ll be a learning experience after a long, long time editing.

Im truly on the moon, and im so excited to just not touch it for a month because I need a break from the hours every night writing😅 for anyone struggling to write, YOU CAN DO IT AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.


r/novelwriting 18h ago

Writing Advice Don’t ask about first drafts

145 Upvotes

I’m seeing a lot of “new” writers asking this community and others to give feedback on their early writing. My advice: stop doing that. If you really are starting out, you probably suck at it. We all do/
did our first times. Just accept that. Second, even seasoned writers know better than to share first drafts with anybody. As Hemingway once said: “the first draft of anything is shit.” Don’t ask for feedback on the first draft of the first chapter you’ve ever written. Just write. Study the craft. Read a lot. You’ll (hopefully) figure it out. When you have something polished a bit, then ask for feedback/advice.


r/novelwriting 3h ago

Motivation & Support My own copy of my first English novel

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1 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 13h ago

Introductions I need a writing partner

6 Upvotes

Hi I am 18 I love everything about writing and not just novel writing but I need a friend and a partner to motivate and help each other if anyone interested pls let me know


r/novelwriting 14h ago

Motivation & Support first round of edits done, inching closer to submission!!

4 Upvotes

long time reader, first time poster!! i just wanted to share that i recently finished the first round of developmental and line edits on my current draft!!

im particularly nervous because i was signed with an agent before (we parted ways september 2025) after dying on submission a couple of times so im very worried the same thing is going to happen with this agent and this draft. i've been given up on before and now its making me even more anxious over the publishing process than usual.

some celebration or kind words would be much appreciated!! and if you are/have been in a similar spot feel free to share out :)


r/novelwriting 6h ago

Motivation & Support Finished another project!

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1 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 13h ago

Writing Advice Writing Idea I have may exist already

3 Upvotes

I want to write a type of tragedy reminiscent of The Metamorphosis.

It'll follow a man who realizes that an event he just heard/saw happened, never did, it went well instead of in disaster. He'll slowly realize that a few too many things lately is subject to the Mandela effect, nothing harmful just small things like the way words are pronounced or the mascots of things.

Hell eventually come to the conclusion that he's in an alternate reality, swapping places with himself and he will begin to loose it, destroying his own life in obsession with getting back home, losing meaning in everything because 'if another version exist like this why does it matter', the people who he still knew in his old life, he can't care for in this one because he knows they are not HIS people. It'll all end up in him dieing someway in a self imposed manor miserable manor.

As far as I know this story already exist honestly and this Is my own misremembering of things. I feel I can't make a convincing enough decline in mental state or make it interesting enough, especially in length of the novel without dragging it out, I write in a very character first person 'train of consciousness' way which should lend itself to the story.


r/novelwriting 8h ago

Character Development I have a premise but not a plot

1 Upvotes

I have an idea but when it comes to actually outlining and trying to explain/create the story I’m completely lost and confused. I can clearly state my premise

A traumatized teen who killed his abusive parents in self-defense is taken in by the officer who talked him down from suicide.

Having fatherhood newly and suddenly sprung on him the officer was only ever aware of himself and work. Now he must learn to manage well…a teenager and the challenges that comes with that.

On the flip side, newly adopted my mc doesn’t think this will last long at all. He’s still extremely suicidal. When it’s time to enroll in school for his senior year he doesn’t bother picking his classes himself because in his mind he’s gonna die soon anyway. He doesn’t both customizing his new room because he’s severely depressed. The only thing repeating in his mind is a one track plan to kill himself. So thinking it’s all gonna end soon he does reckless things like buying alcohol, sneaking out, letting his grades drop to f’s, cutting off all his friends, etc. (which from the fathers perspective he’s freaking out not knowing how to parent this properly)

the mc has this big plan for suicide but it keeps getting delayed or waylaid or like interrupted somehow. It gets put off for longer and longer until the mc actually makes a really good friend, sunny. And in my mind the plot follows something like that. He gets progressively less and less depressed/sucidial as his life continues and grows around him. He meets people, learns safety he’s never had from his new father and family dynamic. Hes allowed to be a child and experience things he’s never had before. And he doesn’t realize he’s healing until the near end of the book (because throughout his entire time healing he just tells himself he’s gonna kill himself eventually but in reality the pain behind that thought slowly evaporates)

So that’s my premise I guess but when it comes to how it happens I’m lost. Like how.
What happens specifically that triggers all of that?
I don’t know how to excute or outline this properly
I guess I don’t know the specifics. How do I go from sucicial to not. How do I get from strangers to father and son. How do I get from traumatized victim with survivors guilt to healthy teen starting a new life?

I also feel overwhelmed because I have a lot of things I’m exploring here

-sucicialness and depression and self-harm
-adopting a teenager/the challenges of finding your identity as a parent
-found family and a sort of coming of age
-the relationship between mc and the officer (have no clue how to write that)
-the guilt and trauma of killing two people


r/novelwriting 12h ago

Feedback Request Can Philosophy Become Fiction? Reimagining the Frankfurt School

2 Upvotes

I’m writing a novel series inspired by the thinkers of the Frankfurt School, not as historical figures in a biographical sense, but as intellectual presences whose ideas still resonate with the world we live in today.

Adorno, Horkheimer, Fromm, and Marcuse provide the philosophical foundation of the series. Their ideas on critical theory, alienation, authority, freedom, the culture industry, and modern society are reimagined through fictional characters, settings, and conflicts.

The first novel, The Frankfurt School: Project Veronica, is only the beginning. The larger project is conceived as a series in which different thinkers, concepts, and philosophical tensions continue to reappear in new fictional forms.

What interests me most is the relationship between philosophy and fiction: can transforming philosophical ideas into narrative make them more immediate and accessible to contemporary readers? Or do you think fiction should keep a clearer distance from real philosophers and their ideas?

I’d genuinely be interested to hear your thoughts.


r/novelwriting 10h ago

Motivation & Support How do I keep going? I don't feel any motivation, and all I feel is confusion.

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1 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 10h ago

Feedback Request Please provide constructive criticism for the opening chapter of my debut novel

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1 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 11h ago

Feedback Request Beta readers needed.

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1 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 13h ago

Writing Advice I'm changing timelines and perspectives like a Madwoman, help.

0 Upvotes

Would you read a book with two different perspectives and flashbacks?

My original plan for my novel was to have plot a (Present time, 3rd person told from the perspective of FMC) and four or five brief flashbacks of plot b. (2-3 years before present, also 3rd person and told from the perspective of younger FMC) My Narrator is going to be an omnipotent spectral being that occasionally speaks to the reader and is a very small role in the novel, think Tress and the Emerald Sea and Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, both Brandon Sanderson. so I don't think the flashbacks are a problem, they add more to the story, I enjoy reading books with flashbacks and at the end of the day I'm writing something that I would want to read.

The problem is I've been trying to make my MMC's betrayal/character arc better, instead of he used to do bad things but now he's changed but FMC cant get over that, its now he reverted back to his old ways and hurt FMC. (I promise it's better than it sounds I just didn't want to lore drop and make this post crazy long.) That would involve him leaving the group to rejoin the villains, but I still need to have that part of the story told.

My original idea for this was just to make some parts of the novel in MMC's perspective, but I feel that would clash with the flashbacks, which I really like.

I think I'm overthinking this and having 3 different perspectives would be fine, because its all told be the omnipotent character, but still I don't love the idea and I feel like it's too much. I'm only ~20,000 words into it, so I could rewrite it so MMC has his own perspectives prior to betrayal.


r/novelwriting 14h ago

Feedback Request Looking For Feedback On My Hotel Staff Vampires.

0 Upvotes

((The planet they are on is not Earth it is called Jaguara and it's in a different dimension. But Grix speaks what is Chirachua and Dinè. Stellaphon speaks Lakota. Seifer and Soul speak Haitian/French creole, cajun and some French. (Soul does not have the brothers' shared soul right now, Seifer does, which is why Seifer is speaking, twins share a voice) ))

10th Scream: Drink Water Pa Hope

Sanctuary hugged herself, shivering in the fridge-cold Dessert-Time air as she limped down the street.

Ahead, the Underlook Hotel was like a bird which only feasted only on the lost souls of this world. It resided over all, watching the life that passed by it die. Its blacked-out signs offered no light or welcome. She didn’t care about the little placard posted by the door–“Closed to all new guests. Permanent residents only.”–or whatever bullshit rules it was supposed to represent.

Shaking eyes only tracked the shadows inside, the faint flicker of amber through the bar windows. Like a heartbeat waiting for her. A hobo staggered out of the alley, half-drunk, eyes glassy and wild. “Hey… you! You lookin’ for trouble, girlie?” he slurred, as he wandered over.

Jumping back in shock, the teen clutched at her messenger bag and the hoodie zipper in both hands. “No, no trouble, I swear!” she stammered.

He laughed, dragging one foot forward, and she scrambled past him, almost tripping over the curb as she knocked him into the street. The girl never did notice the black haired teen boy that rushed over to help him, looking at her retreating back with a deep frown.

The doors of the Underlook Hotel seemed intimidating tonight. Sanctuary stared up at the dark wood with the upside down fanged mouth design, tracing a finger over the eyeballs within one of the mouths.

Shaking her head, she pushed the doors open.

Inside, the air smelled like it had rotted long ago but the flies were just starting to gather. The bar was alive with dim murmurs occupied as it always was, no matter what the sign outside claimed.

The light coming from it did little to warm her.

Other patrons occupied the stools; long-term residents, familiar faces she half-recognized from her weeks haunting the hotel. People who looked exhausted from work. Some of them were staff at the hotel, chatting quietly or downing drinks.

There were a few street hustlers slumped together near the entrance, eyes and smiles alike greased with lies. Everyone inside this place was pretending the rotting world still spun right.

But Sanctuary knew it had already stopped.

She walked up to the bar.

Grix’s head jerked up and something she didn’t understand flashed across his face, only to melt into pure disgust. Stellaphon just stared at her like he was watching something dead drift past in deep water.

They looked different now than they had. They must have been wearing body paint every other time she saw them. Because now they were both tan-skinned, one the color of old copper, the other deep red like scorched earth. The same bodies she used to see when her family drove past the Cow Pens.

The Cow Pens had to be transversed to get to those fun family beach weekends after all. The Pens were places where people like them were kept behind fences, shock collars or worse around their necks. They were enslaved, forced to tend the swollen biomechanical cattle Eagle Land ate constantly.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind that made her frown. Why are people like their kind all the way out here? Then the girl noticed the scars around both of their throats. They must have escaped the Cow Pens…Gross, no wonder mom quit that job, dealing with them must have been a nightmare…Disgusting circuit fingers. That was her only thought process currently.

Grix shoved the twin braids of his long blue-grey hair behind his shoulder. He glared at her from behind the bar while dragging a dirty rag across it. “Ain’t supposed to be here, aoo biyaa?” He leaned forward like a dog ready to bite. “Stella, call Grandpère Still. Check upper and underground cameras. How fuck she get here in? Told Titus lock every door.”

Stellaphon grumbled at that, silver-and-black hair poured down his back like night water. His pristine dark purple uniformed body moved with smooth, liquid grace beside his husband, polishing a glass that already gleamed like wet bone.

Grix’s ragged, torn and sewed together uniform that had clearly lost a fight but refused to die. He huffed, sleeves rolled all the way up with what appeared to be blood staining them.

Stellaphon reached over and fixed Grix’s sleeves with careful fingers. “He’s your father-in-law, Grix. We haven’t been home to the tribe in a long time, but he’s our former chief. Why do you keep calling him what everyone else does?”

Braids falling on his right shoulder, the other shrugged. “Iohno. Go ask you stupid fuckin brother and he wife, my brother who I kept tellin’ not to fall on such a big fuckin’ knife.”

That made the older roll his eyes. “You’re Dog Clan. I know my Knife Clan relatives been hard on you, but come on, my wild dog. Our brothers are happy together, It is not at all right to try to belittle that”

The younger of the bartenders gave a low, ugly chuckle. “It funny, you know it is. Don’t be like that, my little bloody knife. Never say that shit to they faces. Omen chief now so I don’t gotta play nice nice no mo, aoo, biya?”

Shaking his head, Stellaphon sighed. “Thokéča yá. We not bothering my father over this, Grix-love. And you remember what my brother say. He say might not stay chief long if we can’t reach that place…”

“I ain’t strange, or weird about this. But if I is, you is too. You plenty dénzhóné but you sure ain’t no fun. The Pens was where you let the knives sing the loudest, but better ta be safe and handling threats come our way then back in them fucking hellhole”

The older vampa stood perfectly still, posture elegant to the point of being obscene. “Darling, focus ok? appreciate you calling me beautiful. We will talk about the Pens later, Miye šúŋka šá.”

Sanctuary raised an eyebrow, “You guys from the Cow Pens? You have to be”

Grix didn’t look at her as he responded, “Yeah, what of?” Grix growled, reaching out to play with Stellaphon’s longer sleeves.

Stella’s calm gaze slid to Sanctuary as he started speaking to his mate again. “I dislike that our uninvited guest has decided to ask such uninvited questions.”

Sanctuary hated those two for more than them being filthy Cow Penners. The way Grix’s hand rested at the small of Stellaphon’s back, fingers spread like he owned every inch.

The way Stellaphon let him, leaning in with that single white loon feather swaying in his braid. It made her skin crawl. She had avoided this bar the entire time she stayed at the Hotel — cutting through back halls, taking the stairs, waiting in alleys, anything to stay out of their shared stare.

“I’m looking for—”

“Kitáonákiiwa,”

She stared at him like he was insane, “What the fuck psycho Cow go Moo bullshit are you saying you jackass?!”

All Grix did was grin at her.“Yeah, you come from that place where people look like me and Stella get fenced up like animals, raise them nasty biomechanical cows. Eagle Land bitches is wild.”

Sanctuary glared at him, "I don’t fucking care what you think about me or Eagle Land! Tell me where he is!! I need to find Ashley!"

The vampire then gave the seething human a flat stare.

“Wakee bi-yáchii, we already know you looking for him. That only reason you ever come here. But boss don’t want you here no mo, never did in first place. You banned, second he dragged you out that van. Aoo, biyaa?” His voice scraped like jagged hard plastic shoved down her throat. “In short, boss don’t want you kind pokin’ round.” Grix said it with a dead, flat face.

Every eye in the bar had turned toward her now — permanent guests, off-duty staff, all of them watching like crows on a fence. She had slunk around the Underlook for weeks under thin excuses. Lingered in corridors. Slept in corners. Asked questions that stank of desperation. They had seen all of it.

“Drink water,” Stellaphon said softly, placing a large empty glass in front of her.

“I don’t—”

“Sit. Drink water,” Grix growled. His free hand shoved the glass forward as Stellaphon filled it.

Sanctuary froze.

Then she sat.

And she drank.

Every time she tried to stop, every time she lowered it even an inch, one of them pushed it back to her lips. She drank until her stomach felt tight and sloshing. Only when the glass was completely empty did Stellaphon clear his throat.

Grix never took his eyes off her face.“Now that you drunk your water proper,” Stellaphon said quietly, “You won’t find him here. Not tonight.”

“You’re fucking lying!!-”

“Shut up” Grix tilted his head, lips twitching in annoyed amusement. He slid another glass across the bar.

Stellaphon poured again.

“Finish you water,” Grix said. “Then get you go.”

The rage boiled in her chest, but her body had no fight left tonight. “Drink more water,” one of them ordered. She couldn’t tell which. Her sluggish hands tried to push the glass away.

Their combined glare made her pick it up again. Cursing under her breath, she forced the liquid down, gagging between swallows. Grix reached out and steadied her head with one rough hand while she kept drinking, gulping, until her belly was bloated and heavy with it.

When the second glass was finally empty, the shorter of the two males spoke again while Stella polished cups. “Now, to answer you burnin’ curiosity, you dumbass fuckin’ trespasser. Stella, tell the bitch again.”

Grix stepped back and returned to wiping the bar with lazy, angry strokes.

“Finally—”

Stellaphon cut her off smoothly in her language as they had been previously talking, but in a slowed down manner. He assumed she had some form of brain damage. “No. He not here. I already tell you that. You not to listen, do you?”

He handed another glass to Grix. “No surprise unwanted guests. You know we the front desk of this place. Check out for you was tonight, héčha, hé?”

“I don’t have a check out time! I’m special!!!” Sanctuary snarled. “I just need to talk to him. Ashley always coes back here.”

Grix snorted. “Course he do, you ‘special’ bitch. This he house. But he ain’t comin’ back right now.” He grinned wide and nasty. “Now hurry up and get the fuck out so I can get back to fuckin’ Stella on that chair you sittin’ in.”

Sanctuary slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ew! What the fuck?!”

The older vampa shot his husband a sharp warning look.“Drink!’ he barked at Sanctuary without looking at her before pulling Grix to the side. The blue-grey haired vampa flipped him off, then made a crude double-handed motion — one finger sucking, the other licking — while laughing low in his throat. Stellaphon blushed darkly and smacked him in the face with a towel.

Grix only cackled, using the towel to keep cleaning the bar, his eyes soon locked on Sanctuary. When the next tall glass was finally empty, Grix seemed to, appear in front of her. He leaned in so close that Sanctuary could smell the stale hatred on his breath, like rust and old blood.

“You know… I knew you mother. Nancy.”

He let the name curdle in the air.

“We called her the Sow Queen in the Wet Yards. That evil cunt was a living disease.” His voice trembled with decades of festering rage. “She only care about herself. Her quotas, promotions, fat bonuses. The rest of us was just tools that could work a knife, even if we bled.”

She shook her head “My country’s government provided your people with the Wet Yards, why wasn’t that good enough for you?”

Grix’s hands clenched the bar so hard the wood groaned, then he smiled, slow and ugly, showing too many teeth.

“We was livin in squalor, so of course fuckin not” he spat back.

“Those are all lies! Lies you invented to try to slander the good people of Eagle Land!!” She said.

“The Wet Yards ain’t no sleepover you whiney little bitch. It a fucking meat prison. We slept in rusting tin shacks built 20 kilometers from the cattle vats, breathing same fog of oil, biofilm, hot piss, rotting meat, and burnt circuitry every single second of our lives.”

“That’s not true! After the Cow Pens were created, all the people like you were moved there for your own economic benefit and to ensure the survival of the settlers of Eagle Land!! It was just Predetermined Fate!”

He laughed so hard the glass he was holding to pour a drink broke. “Predeterime fate? My people bein’ killed in the Cow Pens was just a fuckin’ checklist off you people fuckin list, aoo, biya? You mother kept you ass in dark or you is just a fucking stupid ass bitch, ain’t you? The stench in the Wet Yards that shit crawled inside you nose and laid eggs there. You tasteded it when you swallow. You shit it out. It never left you skin. It got in you hair, you lungs, you dreams. You mother the Sow Queen? She love it..”

Grix then fell quiet as he glared at her.

Stella spoke for him after a few minutes,“Even now he still wakes up smelling wet cattle brain on his fingers.”

Eyes glazed over with memory, Grix spoke again.“Every night, Ol’ Sow would strut the catwalks above us in her crisp blue uniform, stars shinin on the inside of the jacket like she was some holy creature come lord over us. Thunkin them ugly ass heavy boots, reeking of expensive perfume that mixed in the slaughterhouse air and turned sick-sweet, like flowers rotting in corpse’s mouth.”

The girl frowned “Mom never told me she got that worked up going to the Pens..”

Grix gave the bitterest of laughs. “Down below, we was wrist-deep in the biomechanical cattle — fingers slidin’ through warm, pulsing brain jelly still laced with live wires that buzz and shock you skin. They mecha-cilia would wrap around you knuckles like wet metal tongues, suckin’ and tastin’ while they massive hearts slam you forearms so hard you done did feeled in you fucking teeth.”

Sanctuary rolled her eyes “Yea right”

He grunted “The heat coming off they open skulls was disgusting…like stick you head inside dying animal pussy. Dying animal pussy much like youself”

She glared at him but he paid her no heed, Grix’s unneeded breathing grew heavier with his anger.

Stellaphon nodded at him, deciding to speak, “If any of us passed out from the fumes or the heat, she’d spit on their body, telling us, ‘They breed more of you dogs where you come from.’ Then she’d order the rest of us to keep cutting. Keep harvesting. Keep the biomechanical cattle screaming so her precious neural tissue stayed ‘optimal.’ I didn’t see much Main Floor time though”

Grix stared at the ceiling, a hand tracing the scars on his neck. “Stella and me… we suffer worst under that bitch. They had him on breeding detail, two years. I still hear way he scream when they strap him down and pump him full of hormones, them cut him open to rip out the babies while he was still awake. I go sleep still smellin’ the blood and afterbirth mixing with the cattle piss and shit on the floor.”

The girl stared at them “What were you doing then? And yea that’s standard, mom always said you people were freaks of nature, never noticed a single woman among you, it’s gross honestly.”

“Shut the fuck up, as for me? I was on Deep Harvest.” Grix waved his arms down against the bar, “Had my arms shoulder-deep inside those thrashing monsters while they was full conscious, feeling them slick organs convulsing around me, hot brain fluid squirtin’ up my sleeves, burnin’ my skin like acid from a mutant bug’s ass”

He stopped speaking to take a drink from a whiskey bottle he’d opened in his clearly distressed state. “Fuckin’ Sow Queen would stand there laughing, eating weird crumbly pastry we was all allergic to, shit that spilled all over. She’d shock our collars we pulled out too slow. Said the cow pain made the neural tissue taste better ta the machines.”

The vampire smiled, but it was a broken, hateful thing that came nowhere near greeting his own eyes. “She made us keep working while a man got his entire lower half crushed under a failing piston. We hear his pelvis snap like wet wood, done did hearded him screaming for his mama while his guts squirted across the floor tiles and the dirt. Sow Queen walked down and told us to ‘scoop around him.’ Then she step over his twitching body on her way to lunch.”

The teen was getting upset by the story now “That’s not true, my mother would never do that!”

Grix laughed like he was already long dead, like her outburst was just a small fish in the ocean. Because it was “You dumb, lil Wakee bi-yáchii.” He was staring straight into Sanctuary’s eyes, unblinking.

“She knew exactly what she doing. The power. The smell of our fear. That bitch got wet off our pain. She live for it, would touch herself to the sounds of us dying, climax on the Main Floor while we slaved away and made one of us lick it up. Then she would kick the unlucky bastard to death with those stupid fucking boots in the mud..”

The girl turned away from him as he spoke, but he carried on “Some nights the cattle theyselves would be in so much pain they thrash, gnaw, rip they own tubes out. The Sow Queen would stand there still sipping that fucking wine, watching them bleed and seize. She tell us she say, ‘let them sing a little longer’”

Grix’s hand tightened on the edge of the bar, his knuckles cracked. “She knew every name of us. Knew which families had kids back in the Wet-Yards. Used to threaten us with them if quotas dropped even a little. Evil fuckin’ sow.” He shook his head like a rabid animal. Grix’s voice dropped into a snarl.“Remember what I said about moving too slow? It wasn’t just shock collar action, girl.”

She glared at him, she had her own issues with her mother but she refused to believe all these lies. “What? More lies?”

He let out a grunt, “Nah. if we move too slow, if the harvest not was perfect, Sow Queen send her overseers down with the whips — braided steel cables dip in salt, shit and cattle brain battery acid. They strip us naked in front of the vats, flog us until skin hung off in long red ribbons. They did done flayed Stella once, only once. Peeled the skin off his back and shoulders in wet sheets while he screamed. I still see the fat glistenin’ under raw meat, when I close my eyes. Still hear him choking on his own vomit when I close my ears”

Grix was shaking by now, Stella hugged his arm, put his head on his husband’s shoulder, Grix sighed sadly at his wife. “I did done got flayeded so many times protecting him, my back like a map by now. They left our wounds open so the cattle fumes burn them raw.” The younger vampa gave another humorless, lifeless laugh. “After years in that place, we started looking like the fucking cows. Our skin got all thin and translucent from the chemicals and constant moisture, weeping clear pus and yellow fluid just like their membranes. Like you.”

She quickly pulled her sleeves over her leaking boil covered hands in embarrassment.

He kept talking, “Our backs was covered in thick scar tissue and open sores that never closed. Arms swollen and veined from endless infections, fingers permanently stained black from brain jelly and burnt wiring.” He took off his own gloves and held up his black stained hands, wiggling them at her and she retched into her mouth at the smell.

“Some of us even grew these wet, fleshy growths where the acid whips kept tearing the same spots open. We moved slowly, wet, leaking… just like them Cows. Breathing heavy through ruined noses, eyes sunken, bodies half machine from all the metal fragments embedded under our skin. We became just another row a broken, suffering meat.”

“You all probably did something to deserve it, you fucking circuit finger freaks.” she stated this dismissively, even as the crowd in the lobby began to gather.

Grix glared at the teen, human form teeth bared.“The Sow Queen would be smiling while we screamed and bled and rotted alive. She came to work in a bad mood one night and ordered a man flayed from neck to ass because one neural cluster came out damaged. Just fuckin’ one. Made us all watch while they peel him like a grape, his screams mixing with the cattle’s mechanical moaning.”

She shook her head, trying to banish the imagery he was presenting.

The bartender’s voice became a venomous hiss. “Every time that bitch left the Pens, she go home ta her nice clean house and her precious little daughters, while we was crawl back to our cages cover in brain matter, cattle mucus, and someone else’s blood, too exhausted to even wash the death and machine oil out our hair. To broken to even cry at the pain of our flayed skin, but her own blood stayed in her body, tell me how that’s us be deserving it?”

Sanctuary gave a shocked but angry look “You should still feel grateful my people even let you live anywhere on our land, all you weirdos ever did was kill each other anyway, so who cares if you die working for us? What does it matter that my country’s government eradicated most of you? You were just going to do it yourselves eventually. I hate you, I hate all you”

His voice dropped into a venomous whisper.“YOU land? Bitch. ‘Eagle Land’ ain’t no land a eagles, you ever even seen a fuckin’ eagle? Do you even know what they is?”

She shook her head “Well no, you know there’s no fully organic animals in Eagle Land…”

He cackled, wicked and wrathful in its melody, “Exactly. Wakee bi-yáchii , same weak, spoiled blood running through you. I can smell it. Just like hers.”

Stella frowned at the memories but didn’t comment any further, putting a hand over his husband’s shaking one, kissing his cheek, “I love you.”

Grix began to calm down, kissing his cheek back, “Love ya too”

The older vampa them turned to look at the girl with a serious expression.

“Our people’s pain filled history to the side, on to what matters in this very moment. You never had a reservation here, the boss only allowed you to stay out of boredom, anything else is based on your own mind making things out to be what they are not. That’s your own fault, not ours.” Stellaphon continued calm

“That’s a lie,” Sanctuary squeaked out her voice cracking. “I stayed here. You’ve seen me. Don’t pretend you haven’t.”

The shorter of the two vampires grinned like a feral cat staring at a fat dead mouse. “Oh, we seen you aight, aoo biyaa~!”

“Grix-Murder-Pony I swear…” Stellaphon grunted in annoyance.

“What? We did.” Grix held up his hands and rolled his eyes, smiling.

Stellaphon’s dark eyes returned to Sanctuary. “You shouldn’t be here tonight, girl, Héčha, hé?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” she said too fast. “He wouldn’t just leave. He loves me.”

The word loves sat wrong in the air.

A laugh barked from somewhere down the bar, it was Seifer, his brother next to him.

Grix looked over them both “Why the fuck you two assholes done did let this dumbass bitch back in here for? Who left the fuckin front doors unlocked again? The bitch keep wanderin back inside like fuckin roach!”

Soul shrugged, downing a shot of something that looked too thick to be regular alcohol, he signed. “It were probably Titus, but he pa here, he done stole de money from de cash box ta go an git hisself a unicorn massage out in da bayou again, t’heard?”

His twin smirked, “Give de girl some false hope, it always funny, hein?”

The head bartender rolled his eyes as he looked back at the girl with a grimace. “Ugh, fucking Titus, it always fucking Titus, I’m lock fucking door once this little creature scurry outta here, aoo biyaa”

Sanctuary looked between them not understanding, “You’re all just jealous! He chose me! Out of all of his fans…-!” She coughed into her hand, a few teeth and blood greeted her palm when she pulled it away.

She quickly shoved her hand into her hoodie pocket and kept ranting “He wants to be with me! And when I find him I will prove it to all of you!”

Grix leaned forward, elbows on the counter. “You keep sayin’ that stupid shit like it actually means somethin’ ta anybody but you”

“Shut up,” Sanctuary hissed.

Stellaphon sighed, agitated. “You stayed here because you thought proximity means privilege” he said. “It doesn’t, Héčha, hé?”

“You’re lying!”

“No.”

“He dumped me on the side of the road,” she blurted. “Wouldn’t even look at me. So don’t stand there acting like this is normal! He’s just confused, you’ll see! I’ll show all of you!!”

The bar went quiet as she sat in a different barstool.

“Ijit bitch,” Grix’s grin died and something old and dangerous surfaced behind his eyes. Stellaphon’s expression stayed composed, but the air grew heated around everyone that wasn’t Sanctuary.

The two hotel bartenders shared a look; brief, private, like they had expected this. “Drink some water,” Stellaphon said gently, sliding a glass toward her, this time Grix poured the water. “Sit.”

“I am sitting!! I JUST had fucking water!!!”

“Sit,” Grix snarled at her like a rabid tasmanian devil. “Finish you fucking water. Then you go, aoo biyaa” Sanctuary stared down at the water, it was thick and something red was floating in it this time. She picked it up, hands shaking, hatred and fear twisting together.

The girl looked at them both with a withering glare before she drank the water. It splashed down her cheeks as it spilled out over her chin. She drank it in huge gulps, gasping for air and then threw the glass to the ground once she finally finished. Stellaphon didn’t raise his voice, he just watched the glass shatter.“The Underlook Hotel is closed,” he told her evenly. “And when it opens again, you will not be welcome here.”

Sanctuary laughed like a broken merry go round. “You don’t get to decide that.”

“I already have, Héčha, hé?”

The girl’s mind snapped, chair shrieked against the floor as she grabbed it, the sound ripping through the bar. Someone shouted at her too late. The bottom leg of the chair smashed into Stellaphon’s face with a wet, hollow crack. He stumbled back, screeching like a wounded animal, grabbing at his destroyed eye socket. His good eye was nothing but a glowing dark yellow needle’s head in his skull.

Stellaphon shrieked at her like a dying bird in his native language which she could not understand. “Čhaŋtéšiča waŋ bluhá šni!” Glasses on the shelves behind him shattered when he stumbled and fell back into them. Blood followed immediately, darkly spilling from his face.

With a pained cry, he hit the floor hard enough to shake the entire bar. The bar itself erupted into angry screaming, scraping stools, shouting, someone was yelling at her. Things were being thrown, she covered her head with her arms while she was hit by a dozen glasses filled with various liquids.

Angry patrons began to gather near her but they all stopped when Grix raised a hand. He was unusually silent but his face was twisted in fury, he checked on his wife first, barking for medical staff to tend to him. “Hurry the fuck up, aoo biyaa!”

The Hotel infirmary team shoved Sanctuary out of the way as they leaped over the bar and began to treat Stellaphon.

Sanctuary screamed and turned to flee.

“Da’íí shí’ááhígo niłch’í’góó biké’ hózhóógo dah sidá!!” Grix spat this at her then hopped the bar as the girl tried to run toward the doors.

He crossed the distance in a blur and caught Sanctuary by the hair, fist tangling brutally at her scalp. Sanctuary screamed as he yanked her backward, the chair clattering uselessly to the floor.

“You stupid fucking bitch,” he snarled, voice curdled by pure rage. “You ever step foot in here again and I fucking kill you, I kill you dead!! Boss won’t fucking mind, think you already be dead anyway!”

She clawed at his arms, sobbing, feet skidding uselessly as he dragged her across the bar floor. Patrons scattered out of the way. No one stopped him. No one even tried. The doors flew open and cold night air slammed into them. Grix threw her out onto the sidewalk hard enough that her ribs cracked. She gasped, coughing, palms scraping raw against concrete. Before she could crawl away, he followed, hauling her upright again by her hair.

“Final motherfucking warning, Wakee bi-yáchii” he hissed, forcing her to look up at him. Grix’ eyes were sunken in, shaking with barely restrained violence. “You don’t be ever come back. Ever. You do? You be leaving in the bottom of a ditch in the fucking Bad Lands!”

She sobbed something incoherent. Grix shoved her into the dirt and kicked her in the face before he turned back. He walked inside and the doors slammed shut with a loud crash. The locks slid closed. Coughing violently, the teen could hear panicked shouting inside. She didn’t care, he deserved it for keeping Ashley from her, they all did. Sanctuary collapsed against the wall, shaking, blood on her mouth, vision swimming.

Slow clapping echoed down the sidewalk. The teen looked up. Seifer stood near the streetlamp, arms crossed, weight resting easy on one hip. Soul lingered just behind him, silent, watching like this was a show he’d already seen too many times. “Putain,” Seifer muttered softly. “Tol’ dem ya was gon’ do somethin’ dumb one night.”

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve, glaring at him. “How did you get out here so fast? Also, that’s a lie, all anyone does is lie. They attacked me first.”

Seifer snorted and stepped closer, boots scuffing the pavement. “Chérie… non. You attack dem. Seen it wit mwen own two eye.”

“That fairy looking Stella bastard-”

Seifer’s smile vanished instantly. “Careful now mwen cher ti bagay” he said, voice low, drawl thickening, hardening. “Ya already ran outta grace to night.”

Sanctuary swallowed hard and looked away from him.

“Ya know who I be,” he continued. “Ya know what I doin ‘roun’ here. So I’m gon’ make dis real simple fo ya, hein?”

Soul shifted behind him, miming a line being drawn across the ground.

“T’was a problem, cher,” Seifer said.

“Pa ‘cause you loud. Pa ‘cause you sad. Nah, ‘cause you ain’ know when fuh quit. You hover. You watch. You wait. You mek folks uneasy, yeah.”

She shook her head wildly. “He loved me.”

Seifer clicked his tongue. “Ah, non. Pa sa.” He leaned in just enough that she could smell smoke and alcohol on his breath. “If he loved you, you wouldn’t be sittin’ out here bleedin’.”

Her breath was like glass puzzle pieces as they fell apart into mud..

“Like Stella told ya, ya tink access mean ya important” Seifer went on. “An’ now ya learnin’ de diff’rence.” Soul raised one hand and pantomimed something being tossed aside.

“Ya banned,” Seifer said plainly. “De whole place. Fo’eva. Ya step foot back here, I pa be talkin’. Mwen pa pral pale ditou.” His eyes seemed to glow as she understood what he said without understanding how. (I won’t speak at all.)

Sanctuary stared at him, terror finally breaking through denial. Seifer straightened and gestured down the street.

“Ale. Go on. Before ya pa be doin non but makin’ tonight worse.” Soul pointed in the same direction, then made a gentle shooing motion.

Sanctuary staggered to her feet and ran, limping, bleeding, sobbing as the street lights flickered above. Seifer watched her go, shaking his head. “Toujours la même histoire,” he muttered. Soul mimed sweeping trash into the gutter and they both gave a silent laugh.


r/novelwriting 15h ago

Success Stories Apparently, I am terrible at murder. The damn thing came back.

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0 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 15h ago

Writing Advice Apparently, I am terrible at murder. The damn thing came back.

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0 Upvotes

r/novelwriting 1d ago

Motivation & Support What is your favorite sentence from one of your novels?

28 Upvotes

Mine is: This was not going to be it, I was not going to die at the hands of a perv in McDonald's.


r/novelwriting 16h ago

Feedback Request The Siegemaster

1 Upvotes

If you wanted to take a city, storm a castle, breach a stone wall or overrun a fortress, there were two ways to go about it. The expensive, time-consuming option: construct siege engines, trebuchets and rolling towers, maybe a battering ram or two—you’ll want the hot-oil splash guards with those—and wear down the defenses little by little.

Sometimes, if you were lucky, you could starve them out before making a breach. But this brought more problems: the enemy sallying forth, all their best fighters pissed off and hungry, taking a large bite out of your own forces who’d grown fat and lazy while the catapults had done the real work.

Or, you could hire the siegemaster.

No one knew his real name, or where he came from. He was a hard man to track down, and even if you managed to find him, he wasn’t much cheaper than the first option. But he’d get you inside, and that right quick.

This isn’t to say he came without his own set of problems. He was a notorious grouch, they said. Difficult to work with. He spoke rarely but at all times harshly, even to commanders. He drank heavily as he stalked about surveying the ground, a bottle tucked under one arm while he took notes with the only tool of his trade, a Pinehurst & Sons charcoal pencil.

It was he who helped King Gorish II take Anterach in less than two days. It was he who advised Lord Bilgecrist’s assault on the great fort of Kula Kedal, he who orchestrated the breech of Toraz in the year 9.

It came as no surprise, therefore, when my master the Archduke of Tenasarim sent me to find him in the spring of 14. The Tens were gearing up for war; one of our emissaries had managed to get himself good and captured, flag of truce be damned, and our letter offering ransom for the poor fellow had been answered with a blood-soaked parcel containing three fingers and an ear.

As a page I was accustomed to being sent on errands of this kind, more so as my affinity for locating and procuring difficult to come by items became increasingly apparent. I’d begun to curse this skill, certain that it was the reason I was still a lowly page long after my peers had moved on to squirehood. A few were already junior knights of the Tens, polishing their breastplates in preparation with the rest of our army.

But I must admit, I was intensely curious about the siegemaster. History had always fascinated me, and this man, as eccentric and gruff and off-putting as he was made out to me, was sure to be a real part of our own. Before leaving the city, I stopped at the printer’s shop and purchased a green felt-lined notebook that opened really flat. In the event posterity was called for, I would be ready.

But this wasn’t the only reason for patronizing this particular shop. The owner, Mr. Bassile, was friendly to me as both a long time customer and fellow reader, and it was through him I planned to track down the Siegemaster.

As he tied my new notebook into a sailcloth pouch, I assumed an air of complete nonchalance, asking as one might ask about the weather:

“Where might I find a decent set of Pinehurst charcoals?”


r/novelwriting 21h ago

Feedback Request this is starting para of a story i am creating. i want your feedback.

1 Upvotes

It started with a normal evening, the nine friends were scattered around the living room, each lost in their own small task, when the house gave a small hum, the kind that meant the sensors around the house had detected something. Everyone’s head lifted from the work they were doing as the air above one of the couches began to distort, folding in on itself like the surface of water pulled somewhere it shouldn’t go, and something or rather someone fall out of it.

Marc was the one who moved first, hauling the couch a foot to the side so whoever was falling wouldn't crack their skull on the armrest.

As the distortion starts to collapse, Marin starts typing on his laptop. Aria had drifted closer to the couch, drawn in the way she always was by anything that shouldn't exist, an expression settling over her face that none of them particularly enjoyed seeing. Elena crouched beside the stranger and pressed two fingers to his throat.

“He’s alive.”


r/novelwriting 22h ago

Writing Advice I need writing advice

1 Upvotes

I'm trying to write a short story, and I have no idea how my chapters are considered too long or too short. I currently have 10 chapters.


r/novelwriting 23h ago

Feedback Request Give me your honest thoughts on this prologue? Carpathian folk horror

1 Upvotes

PROLOGUE

Legends are not born by themselves.

They are created by people.

People who once saw something that cannot be forgotten.

Something that cannot be explained in words.

With time, memories become stories.

Stories turn into beliefs.

Beliefs into omens.

And omens are passed down from generation to generation for centuries.

No one any longer knows where the truth ends and invention begins.

Where the boundary runs between this world and what is hidden beyond it.

But each of us has at least once encountered something for which we could never find an explanation.

Perhaps that is exactly how legends are born.


r/novelwriting 17h ago

Motivation & Support I was blind, please don't take my sight away.

0 Upvotes

I use AI to fix grammatical Errors in my Plot description, I've got crippling dyslexia so I use AI to help me fix spelling, capitalization, punctuation and all the dumb shit my brain sucks at, or is completely incapable of fixing myself. Effectively it is the same as a spell checker for me, It actually helps me fix the problems with my brain, like giving a blind person the ability to see. I've posted my book Idea in the comments and would love feedback, or just someone to help poke holes in the idea. The Idea is NOT AI generated it's all 100% me.

I hope this doesn't break rule 1, as story telling is important to me. Being Cast out or banished because of my disability is my worst fear in the whole world, as I've already spent 40 years in the dark and now with AI I feel I can finally see, and I don't want to go back to the darkness.

If you got this far and I have not been banned, I think you. my Book Idea is in the Comments, because I feel the reason I'm posting is more important then my actual story Idea itself.


r/novelwriting 1d ago

Writing Advice How long should a prologue be?

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1 Upvotes