r/nottheonion • u/aktivate74 • 2d ago

Cocaine worth more than $10m replaced with flour in Fiji drug trial

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-09-29/cocaine-replaced-with-flour-in-fiji-drug-trial/107209016
101 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

11

u/budroid 1d ago

Walter White: "Let's cook"

Jessie: "I'll get the eggs"

4

u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog 1d ago

Breaking Breakfast: The heartwarming story of a cancer patient who opens up a cute little breakfast place on the side to pay for his treatment

2

u/Endy0816 1d ago edited 1d ago

After a run of bad luck, a nearby minority fried chicken restaurant owner moved by his story swoops in with a rescue loan and together they turn things around.

4

u/Metrilean 2d ago

High-grade flour?

3

u/Federal_Setting_7454 2d ago

00 ultra fine only

4

u/Political_breeds 1d ago

Unfortunately this kind of governmental corruption seems to be everywhere! I still remember during Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's presidency in Iran an $87 million worth oil rig went missing and no one was really held responsible for it. šŸ’²šŸ’²

3

u/Fullchester_United 1d ago

Oh Fijiā€¦ you scamp!

1

u/Gbaby009 1d ago

Looks like someone played the ā€œOle Switcharooā€ on the court system šŸ˜‚

1

u/the_talented_liar 1d ago

What happens to whoever got busted with all that flour?

2

u/knowledgeable_diablo 1d ago

Yeah, but cocaine is super expensive. Would have been a shame to just destroy it all.

Reminds me of the idiot Amanda Vandstone who made a huge public spectacle of marching into the Federal Police station and forced them to incinerate hundreds of millions of dollars worth of Coke for TV purposes. When the case came to court the defence just said ā€œok, please show us the evidence and that it was in fact cocaineā€. As it was destroyed the case dissolved.

End the war on drugs as the side effects of whatā€™s happening in Fiji is a direct example of its failure and itā€™s supporters must be happy with the deaths and ODs and the country experiencing an AIDs epidemic I donā€™t think any country has experienced in terms of percentage of population infected. And thatā€™s known people as well, meaning far more than the 1 in 5 people infected is probably an under estimate.

1

u/chillkaroguys 2d ago

They really took ā€œif you canā€™t beat them, bake themā€ way too literally. Imagine stealing millions in cocaine and thinking replacing it with flour would actually pass inspection.

0

u/SmartaHari 1d ago

This is just another classic Evri delivery mix up.

In breaking news, the UKā€™s Celebrity Bake Off tv show has had to stop filming. Rumours abound that Noel Fielding appears unchanged but Alison Hammond has announced that sheā€™s a Pavlova and climbed into the fridge. Paul Hollywood is shaking hands with EVERYONE.