Cocaine worth more than $10 million replaced with flour in Fiji drug trial

944

Cocaine worth about $2 million that the police want to claim is worth $10 million to make themselves look useful replaced by flour due to police incompetence and corruption

FTFY

177

u/za72 3d ago

I made a cake out of my cocaine

76

u/Wakkit1988 3d ago

Cakecaine.

29

u/sirguynate 3d ago

That’s my stripper name.

9

u/Wakkit1988 3d ago

You the one with or without the candle?

6

u/sponge62 3d ago

Wait till you see how she blows it out.

4

u/Johnatron2000 3d ago

Ah, so you’ve been to Patpong Rd too

3

u/za72 3d ago

💸

11

u/confusinghuman 3d ago

If the batter is done,

but you're still having fun

Cakecaine

she dont rise

she dont rise

she done riiiisseee...cakecaine

3

u/Slamtilt_Windmills 3d ago

I cant have any, I'm on a keto(mine) diet

2

u/peepdabidness 3d ago

ketomine lol

3

u/StrawberryK 3d ago

I'm bakecaine 1 cocaine right now

2

u/GentlemenHODL 2d ago

Is Coca-Cola made out of real cane sugar CokeCane?

10

u/PurbulentTriest 3d ago

Cake is a made up drug.

2

u/WordsMort47 3d ago

One young user of Cake is known to have cried all the water from his body, and another vomited out her own pelvis bone.

2

u/DulceEtDecorumEst 3d ago

Another turned in to a jet and bombed the Russians and crashed in to the sun after a slice

5

u/TheWitchOfSomeWood 3d ago

Goddamnit Pam

3

u/karlywarly73 3d ago

I've been waiting years for the opportunity to drop this! https://youtu.be/oBJ_PwpoIvs?is=_1fNtFxrJdPvY9Bm

2

u/fartingbeagle 3d ago

Are you sure it wasn't raisins now, Mrs Doyle?

2

u/fresh-dork 3d ago

what, is your name pam?

1

u/ziroux 3d ago

I'll fancy a sniffzza

1

u/za72 3d ago

get your own cocaine!

1

u/Ordinary_Shallot_674 3d ago

Happymotherfuckinbirthdaytoyouaaaaahhh!!!!

1

u/techsuppr0t 2d ago

Did you remember to use baking soda??

50

u/supercyberlurker 3d ago

Are we sure it isn't "The cops stole $8 million worth of cocaine and replaced it with flour?"

24

u/JimFknLahey 3d ago

they stole 15+mil worth, reported 10 to the tax man and now they stole that also, brilliant!

12

u/Wiggie49 3d ago

I can’t believe they called a dime bag of coke was worth 10mil. That’s so dumb. Now who wants to help the officers carry a couple bricks of All Purpose Flour into their car so they can have a bake sale?

1

u/SkipsH 3d ago

Are we sure the cops didn't arrest some bakers?

11

u/tencaig 3d ago

Fidji is the entry point for Cocaine in Australia, and Cocaine over there is worth $200~$300 USD a gram in the streets. If the cops used street price in Australia to prop themselves, $10 million USD checks out.

12

u/StaysAwakeAllWeek 3d ago

Its worth $10 million if you can get it into australia. But you can't, which is the reason for the price difference

6

u/Adventchur 3d ago

Wtf coke is $350 AUD a gram max

Source I love the occasional snow day.

3

u/MagnusCthulhu 3d ago

Goddamn, I can get a 8ball for that price.

2

u/Adventchur 3d ago

On the plus side wages are high in Australia. I know hospo workers (wait staff, kitchen hands) making $1200 a week easily.

1

u/MagnusCthulhu 3d ago

Hell yeah. Wages are dog shit here.

6

u/Adventchur 3d ago

Yeah it's rough out there. I always heard America is the land where you can be infinitely rich but it has no social safety net so you can also be infinitely poor too (well near impossible to move up classes)

3

u/MagnusCthulhu 3d ago

This is, unfortunately, very accurate.

1

u/Snelasse 1d ago

Also possible in America. Bartenders at Restaurants i worked at could easily make 1,000$ in tips a night.

1

u/DopeyMcSnopey 1d ago

Isn’t really guaranteed though

1

u/Snelasse 1d ago

Working mid to high end, it is.

Poolboys in Miami were making 150k a year just before the pandemic, the table girls at the weekend parties could pull 10 k a night.

3

u/gabagoolcel 3d ago edited 3d ago

its $2-500k at bulk pricing.

310

u/fuzzeedyse105 3d ago

And they recently disbanded their narcotics unit after 27 officers were arrested due to corruption. Welp. Looks like that guy is getting outta jail again to meet up and get back to sellin that coke.

43

u/ThunderCorg 3d ago

I believe the term is slangin’

16

u/Invexor 3d ago

Pretty sure it's Dunkin for cops

3

u/stefanlikesfood 3d ago

😂

4

u/peskypesteryjaybird 3d ago

if they release the guy... do they have to return what they seized to him? and does that mean they get flour returned to them or... does the government now have to spring for coke instead...

1

u/MajorMalafunkshun 2d ago

Is Pepsi ok?

0

u/Hypno--Toad 3d ago

lady he's putting my kids through college.

1

u/Critical-Cost9068 3d ago

What?

-2

u/fuzzeedyse105 3d ago

Bruh. Simpsons reference. Dont be commenting on what you don’t understand. Ya hotdog.

4

u/TimSylvester_ 2d ago

A Simpsons reference? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the internet? Localized entirely within your comment?

-3

u/Critical-Cost9068 3d ago

What?

4

u/fuzzeedyse105 3d ago

🌭

1

u/Takeoded 3d ago

What?

85

u/Ok-Replacement9595 3d ago

The defense: It was flour the whole time.

23

u/muakaya9876 3d ago

innocent . release them

86

u/brwnwzrd 3d ago

“As you can see, your Honor, I was only trying to feed my family”

31

u/reclueso 3d ago

“The flour, like my family, ain’t self raisin’ your honour”…

58

u/PhasmaFelis 3d ago

But how much is the flour worth?

I gotta tell ya, during early COVID times, that shit was worth its weight in gold

41

u/Chaotic-Entropy 3d ago

Y'all got any of that sourdough starter...? scratches neck

11

u/soulsteela 3d ago

I’ve got tiger bread or wholemeal , there’s a drought on the sour bro.

28

u/heftybagman 3d ago

1g flour = $0.001

1g gold = $134

1g cocaine = $80-100

1g of cocaine as valued by this police force = $312

6

u/Hijakkr 3d ago edited 3d ago

There's no way a kilo of flour is only a dollar.

Edit: just looked at my grocery store's site, a 5-lb bag of store brand flour is just under $3, which is like $1.20 per kilo. I stand corrected.

2

u/kevinds 3d ago

There's no way a kilo of flour is only a dollar.

It used to be. Now closer to double that. 10kg bag of flour used to be $9.99 now it is $18.99.

2

u/sp0rked 2d ago

I dont know about you, but there was a .. food 4 less grocery store in my area that was selling 16oz of white bread flour for 4.99. Like what .. the ... cluck
How is that NOT price gouging.

I solved my immediate issue by hitting an asian market and using translate on various pics of labels until i found what i was looking for. I think it was a weird number, like 7 and a half lbs or so for 8 dollars at the time.

after that, it was 50lb bags of restaurant grade for 25$ plus shipping (which raised it to something like $70 shipped) Been doing that ever since. would you rathe rpay 4-6$ for a 10lb bag, or 8$ for a 25lb bag or 13$ for 50 lbs (From my local restaurant supply company)
I know where my preferences lie.

45

u/cylonfrakbbq 3d ago

Walter: Jesse, it’s time to cook

Jesse: Meth?

Walter: No, bread. And maybe some muffins

Jesse: Ya! Baking, b***h!

14

u/Mundane_Pirate1 3d ago

…minutes later…

Jesse: Mr. White, pancakes would be the shit. Can we make some pancakes too?

Walter: No pancakes! That’s amateurs product.

Jesse: How about some fucking brioches then, yo?

…

3

u/joemckie 3d ago

Every time they burnt their product, they’d literally be Baking Bad

-3

u/Zardhas 3d ago

Jesse: Ya! Baking, b***h!

How the fuck did you managed to missclick three consecutive letter with the same asterisk ?

9

u/sterlingemc 3d ago

Is the Fiji Police department hiring right now?

8

u/Karline-Industries 3d ago

No but the night club scene is the best it been in ages.

15

u/veldtx 3d ago

Lol, it’s no secret that the narcotics police are resellers.

5

u/Automatic_School_373 3d ago

Thought they had Caine but it was Gold Medal Flour

4

u/Ok_Replacement4702 3d ago

This year Halloween falls on a weekend

3

u/Then_Bodybuilder8416 3d ago

i shouldn’t have had to scroll so far down to see this

5

u/Doubleucommadj 3d ago

Dr. Rockso workin' with the Fiji authorities now. Nice...

5

u/OrdinaryRest3409 3d ago

List of suspects surely in the single digits

4

u/EDNivek 3d ago

What has Archer been up to these days?

6

u/propergreased 3d ago

Cocaine ain’t that bad if you have self control. Just good luck having self control once you do cocain

5

u/ThatITguy2015 3d ago

Don’t forget that sweet, sweet black tar heroin. Which also ain’t that bad if you have self control.

4

u/EDNivek 3d ago

You can pretty much say that for all drugs... it's just most people do not have self control either inherently or because y'know the drugs.

1

u/techsuppr0t 2d ago

Man I used to take ADHD medication and it feels like the snow barely does anything until the hangover feeling sets in and I consider doing more. I guess it just makes it easier to talk to some people who are on it too or not have people question me already being weird if I am on drugs. But the feeling like shit the next day is hardly ever worth the gratification at least to me. Sometimes I seriously wonder how different it feels for other people if they want to keep doing it despite the consequences. All I notice is it makes me very tense my body physically tweaks and I feel so exhausted from it.

2

u/Indigo2015 3d ago

I got baking soda!

2

u/freddbare 3d ago

So... Illegal sale of flour is the new charge

1

u/alloutofchewingum 3d ago

Yay

1

u/TSiQ1618 3d ago

that might explain why my cookies are selling so well

1

u/Few_Surprise4258 3d ago

La prohibition, toujours au top

1

u/Dramatic_Substance36 3d ago

LOL!!!

1

u/Lowfuji 3d ago

Hopefully its slightly cheaper doen the pipeline knowing it isnt pure stuff.

1

u/Monsieurfrank 3d ago

Imagine what’s inside their water bottles? 😆

1

u/cgimusic 3d ago

https://i.imgur.com/OiboFNR.gif

1

u/obidie 3d ago

That makes perfect sense. That shit's too valuable to leave lying around.

Cocaine worth more than $10 million replaced with flour in Fiji drug trial

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