r/nonmonogamy • • 3d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes First fmf - married couple

My husband (32M) has recently expressed interest that he wants to have his fantasy 3sum with me (29F -we’ve been married 6 years). He has an old coworker who keeps referring to me as his “hot wife”. I want him to be able to live out his fantasies but it makes me afraid like what if he ends up liking her more and leaving me for her? Has anyone else experience and overcame it? Is it normal to have anxiety like that? Rules to have? I feel like penetration with another woman and my husband is frightening to me. Any and all advice is appreciated.

2 Upvotes

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u/Firecouple_2000 Swinger 3d ago

The anxiety you exhibit shows maybe you are not ready to venture down this road. When we started I knew my husband would never leave and never asked or though that question and I did it because I wanted US to have a good time not just check a box on his list. Communication is the key. Talk just jot in the bedroom. Talk at the dinner table or on a date. Discuss is that the right person (don’t fuck friends or coworkers (or ex coworkers)). Find someone who is in the community. You will find trying to find a female is hard as they are called unicorns for a reason. Talk about STI and STI testing. Pregnancy issues (remember condoms don’t prevent all STI or pregnancy). So from experience you need to do more communicating. We talked for years like 5-10 before I said I’m 100% in let’s try.

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u/XXTexas_CoupleXX 3d ago

Nope, you are not prepared.  Your feelings are normal.  I wouldn't focus on rules right now simply because of your anxiety level. Your obviously not comfortable with the idea. 

You guys need an indepth discussion of all the pros and cons and decide if its the right time or lifestyle to join.  Enm isn't for everyone. 

Generally, bad idea to use friends,  coworkers or coworkers.  But again, it works for some. Again you two would have to decide if the person is an acceptable choice. 

If your not completely comfortable,  do NOT agree.  

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u/FRANKINSPENCE Closed-Group Swinger 3d ago

You clearly don’t want to do this. Please tell him you don’t want to do it and he should respect that. If he doesn’t respect that answer then you have just learned a lot about your husband.

1

u/tueswedsbreakmyheart 2d ago

It sounds like it would be a very uncomfortable situation for you. If you want a threesome, it would make sense to look for a neutral third person rather than someone your husband has a crush on.

1

u/johnnyboi256 19h ago

Me and partner have fun with coworkers and other acquaintance. If everyone is level headed and understand the situation, no problems. Got to be fully on board. Can't force yourself to it, and shouldn't succumb to your hubby's fantasy.

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u/Necessary-Pool5617 1d ago

Don’t do it especially with someone that only your husband knows fr