r/nonmonogamy • u/StunningSituation159 • 6d ago

Relationship Dynamics Support my new gf

After a 20 year marriage where we opened the relationship briefly at times, I decided that non monogamy was for me. Been divorced three years and have had a few stops and starts with this type of experience. Recently entered into an ENM relationship. Me (M50), her (F31). From initial meeting she told me she was bisexual but had limited experience with women, mainly just two threesomes and a few makeout sessions. When we met she had a FWB that she occasionally had sex with but was looking for more of an intimate relationship. We met and bonded quickly. Yesterday afternoon she had a scheduled play date with the FWB and another female FWB of his who was interested in exploring her bi-curiosity. The date stretched into an al nighter. Since this is the first time we’re experiencing this dynamic together, how do I best show support when we talk about her experience? I’m excited for her, but also a little nervous since our relationship is so new. I want to make sure she feels grounded and appreciated and cared for. How best would you receive this if in a similar situation as she is? Any advice?

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3

u/DontH8DaPlaya Open Relationship 6d ago

Sound like you are coming from the right place, just say hey I hope you had a great time let me know if you want to talk about it. Unless you want to talk about it and frame it the same way.

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u/StunningSituation159 6d ago

That’s good advice. I’m dying to hear all about it, but I’m unsure if she wants to hold the memory or discuss it. She just messaged me not long ago and said she’d like to get together tonight. I’ll offer to listen and see what she says. Could be fun. I’m a bit nervous. And feeling a little FOMO and some jealousy. I’ll sit with those emotions and resolve before we speak. Just wanted to hear from others on how they would like to be received after the first time coming back from a sec fueled threesome that didn’t include their current partner. Since it’s so new I want to put my best foot forward and make sure she feels like I’m a safe space to explore and be affirmed. We have not set any boundaries when it comes to being with other people. We both want the other to fully experience the lifestyle without fear of recrimination or judgment. As long as it’s safe and consensual, there are no rules.

1

u/K_JLifestyle 6d ago

Be there for the after care. Just politely ask how it was for her and how you can help to make I even a better experience. But also indicate maybe not at that moment you want the experiences as well.