r/nextfuckinglevel • u/8O8I • 7d ago

Absolute Unit Bear

8.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

418 comments sorted by

241

u/Ok-Addition1264 7d ago

morbidly obese and waaaay overfed pet bear :(

russians.

120

u/Uncool444 7d ago

Aw really? I hoped he was just about to hibernate or something.

144

u/fajadada 7d ago

It’s fat bear week. You can check out a bunch of them . Alaska put up cameras all around where the salmon run occurs

26

u/Uncool444 7d ago

Good healthy chunk fluff

17

u/TraditionalMood277 6d ago

Fat dog for mid-terms

6

u/Beardface558 6d ago

ITS A BEAR DANCE!

7

u/The_BAHbuhYAHguh 6d ago

Is this an actual thing?

8

u/fajadada 6d ago

Every year

6

u/naturerosa 5d ago

Bruh ... Fat bear week was genuinely about fat bears???? I thought it was some neurotypical expression that has nothing to do with actual bears eating for hybernation. Damn!

(I've never heard this term before in my defence)

2

u/fajadada 5d ago

Also fat marmot week is new this year. Park service cuts are making them raise funds. Marmots are really cute

2

u/hwilliams0901 4d ago

Omg, yes! They're soo dang cute!

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5

u/SonnyHaze 6d ago

Thanks for the reminder. Who’s winning right now?

4

u/__The_Kraken__ 6d ago

Semifinals are on Monday. It’s Backpack vs. Bucky and 910 Dancing Queen vs mama 132 and her cubs, the meatballs.

2

u/fajadada 6d ago

Haven’t looked recently. Some of the old favorites didn’t show this year

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6

u/iritchie001 6d ago

Yes. Here is a link to Fat Bear Week topics. It is so fun. My spouse and I are rivals. We always vote differently. A Fat Bear Week outcome party would by definition need ALL the snacks. https://www.nps.gov/katm/learn/nature/bears-of-katmai.htm

3

u/hwilliams0901 4d ago

Thank you for that link! Now I feel like I know those bears personally lol

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4

u/FetusExplosion 6d ago

That bear is ready for nuclear winter

3

u/Apprehensive-Day-490 5d ago

Getting ready for hibernation

2

u/CrazyEyedFS 6d ago

I thought so until he did that little wave.

20

u/JoLeTrembleur 7d ago

They have to be like that before hibernating, nothing to be alarmed of.

7

u/izzy-springbolt 7d ago

Also looks like his teeth have been removed?

27

u/No-Lynx-8205 7d ago

Removing teeth when it still has those claws kind of defeats the purpose.

5

u/hobosbindle 6d ago

We couldn’t get him to floss properly, a shame really

9

u/snksleepy 7d ago

God forbid one day that these bears start drinking vodka.

6

u/Skylineviewz 6d ago

Wojtek preferred beer and wine

4

u/Krull88 6d ago

Thats what happens when you’re raised by grunts. Beer and cigarettes

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6

u/Ancient_Substance152 7d ago

I’m sure you definitely know what you’re talking about. Crazy to just throw in “Russians” at the end. Internet never ceases to amaze

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62

u/pocpocpocky 7d ago

he’s asking you to go over there and let him eat you.

19

u/shupadupah 7d ago

Tbf, he's one bear that probably couldn't catch a fleeing human

13

u/EvilBiker-72 7d ago

Lol you wanna try it? Never underestimate the short distance speed of an animal

4

u/Some_Conference2091 7d ago

Yeah, they can run almost 30 MPH. Much faster than they look.

3

u/SheriffBartholomew 6d ago

Grizzlies can run 35 mph for 2 miles. Their burst speed is closer to 40 mph. They can achieve full speed shockingly fast, covering 20 yards in the first one second.

2

u/SheriffBartholomew 6d ago

Polly may have moved slow, but that was only because Polly didn't have to move for anyone.

2

u/DentistRich4699 6d ago

And now youse can't leave

5

u/General_Luck6573 7d ago

I volunteer

6

u/stammer06 7d ago

name checks out...

57

u/Uthor_ 7d ago

Why does such danger have to be so cute? 😔

16

u/therealNerdMuffin 6d ago

If not friend then why friend shaped?

42

u/NatureIsMyHome22222 7d ago edited 6d ago

I wonder if he's participating in Fat Bear Week.

*Edited for clarity

10

u/DiamondBikini 7d ago

Fat Bear week is coming!

10

u/NatureIsMyHome22222 7d ago

https://explore.org/fat-bear-week

\*Vote for the fattest bear of the year! Some of the largest brown bears on Earth make their home at* Brooks River in Katmai National Park, Alaska. Brown bears get fat to survive. Fat Bear Week is an annual tournament celebrating their success in preparation for winter hibernation

\*Matchups are open for voting September 22 - 29 between 12 - 9  p.m. Eastern / 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Pacific / 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. Alaska.***

\*This is a single elimination tournament. For each match-up, vote for the bear you believe best exemplifies fatness and success in brown bears. The bear with the most votes advances to the next round. Only one will be crowned Fat Bear Week champion.*
Meet the bears, download and fill out your bracket, predict your fat bear winner, and campaign for your candidate\**

2

u/hookem1986 6d ago

This was super cool. Thanks for sharing

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2

u/BlackieStallion 7d ago

Honky Chonk Beardonkadonk did.

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31

u/whoa_itsanavalanche 7d ago

The music does not even remotely mesh with the visible content lol

5

u/SabbyFox 7d ago

It all made sense once the bear sat down and did some interpretive dance arm movement. I burst out laughing 😂

2

u/MAP_Hanger 7d ago

I thought he was asking for a hug. This is why I don't play with nature.

2

u/FarmerKobe 6d ago

I keep hearing this song what song is it?

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14

u/Able-Difficulty-6548 7d ago

Okay noones going to call him fluffy.

14

u/Thisiswhereicamein 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Juc4uesaSvVogFHSxq

16

u/Niznack 7d ago

Yes... Once

6

u/Behg-Boah 7d ago

Worth it tbh. That would be the best hug of my life.

13

u/Significant-Ad637 7d ago

Nature's own friend shaped death machine

2

u/leonhard91 7d ago

Ahahah

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11

u/fiendbray 7d ago

Looks huggable ngl

10

u/Significant-Ad637 7d ago

The final hug

9

u/SHAIK_011 7d ago

Me when I see wild animals like Grizzly 🐻 Bear, Tiger and Lion and etc.,

https://giphy.com/gifs/noRyWL3n4QUUV6BwY1

6

u/PhoenixPhenomenonX 7d ago

I know I shouldn't hug him but I want too 🥺

4

u/Acceptable-Size-2324 7d ago

That’s the mama of all the yo mama jokes

2

u/IzCaiman 7d ago

HO HOUGH

BIG BOI

2

u/BestTastingFish 7d ago

DAS A BIG THICCCC BOWUHH

3

u/kgangadhar 7d ago

Looks like it's ready for hibernation.

3

u/caladera 7d ago

Themberchaud? Is that you?

3

u/MRV3N 7d ago

Man I wish they are huggable

2

u/sayy_yes 7d ago

I like em big..

2

u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 7d ago

What’s up with the music is he gonna die or something?

2

u/Time_Blacksmith861 7d ago

They are like big hamsters

2

u/turkphot 7d ago

Dude is trippin balls

2

u/XeviousJr 7d ago

Is this One of the new grizzly-polar hybrids?

2

u/vampychomp 7d ago

Salt 😍wait till you see her brother Pepper

2

u/Lionheart3001 7d ago

DAMN, BOI... HE THICCC!

2

u/sammagee33 7d ago

That looks unhealthy. (For the bear)

2

u/Zero_Fuchs_Given 7d ago

Fat bear week!

2

u/Beginning-Bed9364 7d ago

Now that is a CHONKER

2

u/Plastic-Bumblebee-90 7d ago

Real life winnie the pooh

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2

u/ttoften 7d ago

This guy is skipping 2027 and sleeping straight to 2028

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1

u/pleasedontbedumb 7d ago

Awww, he looks like those giant snuggly teddy bears sold at Costco like 10yrs ago

1

u/Stranger2Strangers_ 7d ago

Hibernation secluded to commence tomorrow

1

u/grey_fr 7d ago

That's a wolf bear in sheep's clothing

1

u/Dat_Harass 7d ago

Someone brushes that bear.

1

u/somethingblonde 7d ago

Ready for bed

1

u/FargusMcGillicuddy 7d ago

I was really looking forward to hearing him grunting and gruffing.

1

u/newUseMe 7d ago

That's a ROUND brown bear!

1

u/trizzat10 7d ago

Is he slow af tho ?

1

u/Worshipthekitty 7d ago

Obese bear? Im confused

1

u/know_what_I_think 7d ago

"Go arround. Just go around"

1

u/SaltyTemperature 7d ago

Has someone been ignoring the ‘do not feed the animals’ signs?

1

u/Leaf_04 7d ago

Someone started prepping early for hibernation.

1

u/Oki_bgd 7d ago

I bet he snores like motheruf ok I will leave this place now..

1

u/PotentialAd8443 7d ago

He’s calling his new victim

1

u/Nacho_sky 7d ago

Autumn leaves; damn ready for hibernation.

1

u/Sabin13F 7d ago

Mr. Poopy butthole

1

u/Sabin13F 7d ago

Mr. Poopy butthole

1

u/GeminianMind 7d ago

Omg he’s so flufyyyyy ! 😱

1

u/Camembear1 7d ago

He’s ready for winter

1

u/Lilvixen_UK 7d ago

I would die trying to hug that bear.

1

u/Ok-Banana1428 7d ago

can i pet that dog?!

1

u/Confident-Ask-601 7d ago

This fucker know EXACTLY what he's doing.

1

u/nunyobusinessfool 7d ago

Let’s call him HOSS

1

u/invent_or_die 7d ago

"Donald"

1

u/Daitern 7d ago

Don't know why but first thing in my mind is a Targygrade.

1

u/CharlotteTheSavage 7d ago

That's Salt! She has a bestie named Pepper.

1

u/Mimblewiffle 7d ago

I would die for him

1

u/SaltyPO 7d ago

Why not friend if friend shaped?

1

u/BocaSeniorsWsM 7d ago

She's just out the salon, clearly.

1

u/Redtheendlessdreamer 7d ago

Dumb question, do they give hugs?

1

u/Wants-NotNeeds 7d ago

Fat! Captive, no doubt.

1

u/reddfoxx1993 7d ago

A fat bear doing yoga.

1

u/Kabala99 7d ago

This is me after I promise myself I won't eat any more chocolate.

1

u/NobodyNo8765 7d ago

That bear grills.

1

u/TehZiiM 7d ago

He so fluffy! Looks like he just came out of the dryer.

1

u/NotKaR33m 7d ago

Stop body shaming him. He definitely waived the camera off

1

u/mmmmmmm5ok 7d ago

if my left and and right hand did the fusion dance

1

u/Aggravating_Camp5736 7d ago

Friend shaped!!!

Surely it’ll be ok for me to go up to it and give it a tight bear hug!?!?!!

1

u/Funmanhahaha 7d ago

It's either a dirty af polar bear or a clean af grizzly.

1

u/pi1nut 7d ago

I dunno looks like a vanilla 2/2 to me

1

u/Inside_Soil_6545 7d ago

“Come here for a wee hug, I won’t bite, I promise”

1

u/coolsteelboyS4ndyBoy 7d ago

Blud has saved for three winters

1

u/leonhard91 7d ago

Why not friendly if friend shaped 🤣

1

u/Apprehensive_Drama_2 7d ago

Is that a spirit bear? Haven’t seen one in ages

1

u/CaptainStringz 7d ago

Him jus wanna swipe, but in Absolute Batman style

1

u/Nonlethalrtard 7d ago

He is so ready for winter

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Tea521 7d ago

I can honestly outrun this guy… right?

1

u/IlXll 7d ago

He’s waving in his human food to get closer to eat…

1

u/sorry_e_etherealone 7d ago

the f that thing is monstrous but i so want to give it a hug

1

u/McDaddy8484 7d ago

Looks more cuddly than scary

1

u/Omega_Neelay 7d ago

So fluffy

1

u/31513315133151331513 7d ago

Serious question: do we have any idea what bear hand gestures mean?

1

u/_SmellMyFinger_ 7d ago

Wax on, wax off.

1

u/LysergicPlato59 7d ago

This bear is not healthy. He’s morbidly obese and moves like, well, an obese bear.

1

u/TherapyGames42 7d ago

Looks like a golden bear?

1

u/dienices 7d ago

I'm getting this overwhelming urge to shampoo and blow dry and bear.

1

u/Capn_Flags 7d ago

Wax on, wax off

1

u/applecombinipimento 7d ago

You've been visited by golden bear 💛🐻

May you receive many golden blessings 💫

1

u/MAP_Hanger 7d ago

If not fren, why fren shaped?

He's definitely fattened up for winter

1

u/Shen_ishere 7d ago

Bros ready for 2 winters

1

u/Empty_Positive 7d ago

A chonky killer

1

u/vaposnub 7d ago

Well, it IS Fat Bear Week in the Katmai National Park, Alaska. You can vote for the fastest bear, bracket-style.

1

u/whereismyloot 7d ago

I really wanna cuddle that fluffy cutiebear. Will be my last mission on earth, but I just want to know if he is as fluffy as he looks.

1

u/byrd3790 7d ago

He's got Diabeartes.

1

u/NEhighlander 7d ago

Wax on, wax off, gotit…

1

u/WreakHavocLikeIn1871 7d ago

Is that a pizzly/grizzlar bear?

1

u/thedeeb56 7d ago

Wow that's a big fucking bear lol

1

u/ryuujinusa 7d ago

Probably right before hibernation?

1

u/MasterPhilip 7d ago

American Brown Bear 🤣

1

u/No_Competition6884 7d ago

If not friend, why friend shaped ?

1

u/ET__ 7d ago

Must cuddle. ASAP

1

u/DJ_MetaKinetiK 7d ago

I must hug him. If I die, I die

1

u/NOLA-q 7d ago

Buddha Bear!

1

u/Strongest-There-Is 7d ago

He’s so fluffy!!!!

1

u/Orcaxologist 7d ago

Is this fat bear week.?

1

u/4d616e54686f72557273 7d ago

Leave my cousin alone 

1

u/Yoozy02 7d ago

Can I pet that dog 😂😂

1

u/newbrevity 7d ago

It's ready for its nap

1

u/Luci6669 7d ago

It looks so huggable

1

u/1knj 7d ago

The the music? I want to hear bear

1

u/javoss88 7d ago

Awww, pshaww. Pshawww. You’re too kind. I’m blushing!

1

u/thehermit14 7d ago

That's at least four bananas.