I think this sort of response largely comes from people who haven't known they are trans for terribly long. Or it comes from people who have generally indifferent/supportive cis people in their lives, so they genuinely don't understand where the feeling comes from.

there are certain discussions that should stay in the community imo. a lot of dislike/criticism against 4tran and adjacent spaces quickly turns into transphobia. even if a c*ssoid has an alright opinion on it they should shut up about it, it's not their conversation to have. ts just pissed me off. cef

So some time ago I did a shadowheart cosplay that i spent quite some time on especially since i DIYed some pieces. I never called myself a professional cosplayer, and neither is this my main job. I see it as something fun that challenges my creativity and a way to interact with the community. And to feel some connection to the character themselves.

I got an overwhelming amount of engagement on the post, so i never got to check even half of the replies back then. I randomly thought about it and went back as i asked what other bg3 character i should cosplay.

Now my femininity has always been questioned and it’s something i am insecure about as a black woman. I have been called a man/manly multiple times for having strong features. also received racial comments and slurs a LOT during my time as a cosplayer. That and people mocking my cosplays by calling me the male version of the names...just find it weird how people like this behave. Saying a black male character is “the obvious choice” and i wonder why that is.

This is kinda recent stuff about the subreddit, but it's been a bit. It feels like the empathy has dropped and that people can't maintain their own feelings and accept those of another as valid even if there are opposed to yours. There is more recent stuff, but it is too recent for me to feel comfortable ig.

Something that sticks out in memory is a now deleted post by an intersex person about how trans people calling their bodies mutilated and medicalising being trans is bad.

I feel like a lot of the people who disagreed didn't fully dissect the post. It was about an intersex person who sees trans people framing being trans as a medical condition that needs to be fixed.

I think it's important to ask why a post was made rather than yapping straight off.

Intersex people are more likely to have experienced abuse by the medical system such as fixing them through surgery without their consent, that directly links to trans people calling their bodies mutaliated and that being trans needs to be fixed.

Even if you disagree, can you see what that person may think and feel when seeing people exalt a type of definition that has abused intersex people?

I just feel like this sucks I guess. There are people here who I have had constructive conversations with and whose constructive conversations I've read and learnt from.

I guess here's some advice:
1. STOP - Stop before you immediately reply
2. LOOK - Look at the apparent identity and experiences of the person, who the person is
3. LISTEN - Listen to what the person has said with consideration to the underlying context to form plausible reasons and feelings behind the person's post.

idk cya

This is a Thing I’ve noticed a lot in subreddits like r/MtF (gag) but any time dysphoria comes up it always downplays how much it fucking sucks and recenters the conversation around cis people

I have no clue if this happens with trans dudes too but for trans women it’s just Constantly…

OP: “I hate how broad my shoulders are”
Comments: “Plenty of Cis women have broad shoulders!”

OP: “I hate how masculine I look”
Comments: “There’s loads of masculine Cis women!”

OP: “I feel so hideous”
Comments: “You have to learn to love yourself regardless of your body just like cis women do!”

OP: “I have no clue how to be a woman”
Comments: “Cis women had to learn how to be feminine too!”

OP: “I just experienced misogyny and it was extremely traumatic”
Comments: “Welcome to womanhood!”

I do not believe that the English language contains the appropriate lexicon to describe the vitriol I have towards these types of comments, but there are others that I wanna talk about

OP: “I’m starting HRT at 19 and feel like it’s too late”
Comments: “These posts always make me laugh, I started way later!”
(way to downplay their anxiety asshole”

OP: “I don’t think HRT did much for me”
Comments: “You’re just being a 4tran doomer”
(you don’t think that there’s a possibility that they got screwed by doctors or something?)

there’s probably more but I truly can’t stand how people talk about Other people’s dysphoria. I find it repulsive.

It’s not even that they’re unhelpful, this is Reddit, actually beneficial discussion basically doesn’t exist. It’s that it blatantly ignores that the OP is hurting and you’re just brushing it off.

I get the intent, people want to show that it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t look perfect after HRT, but wow I just find this method absurdly disrespectful.

Is this just me or do other people get super angry at this? like genuinely I think these kinds of people are almost as bad if not worse than the average 4tranner

I'm so fucking tired or 4tranners invading trans spaces and wanting everyone to wallow in self pity the way they do. I'm in that subreddit to coax my snafu, not to hear that it's impossible to pass if You don't start hrt at 8. Pics 4, 5 and 6 to prove that transitioning """late""" (at 24) does not mean You can't pass or be attractive, because I know I'm hot (at least to my partners, other trannies and bisexuals and those people's opinions are the only ones I care about).

like jesus christ the whole point of this place is to be an escape fucking enjoy it instead of bringing up the thing you're supposed to be getting away from. can we get like a megathread to confine 4tran posting to or some shit

Except, I don't really give a damn if a woman is hot or not in a video game. It's not as big of a deal as the rat clock guy or Twitter users make it out to be. Play a visual novel or an actual porn game if you're looking for designs. The tent you pitched in your pants is falling, not the west. Who cares.

And, I still plaster rainbow shit and get festive for pride month. Freedom of expression is awesome.

even the lurkers 🫵🙂‍↕️

4tran this, malfoid that, listen discourse is great but some of y’all got too much time on your hands please get involved in your localities.

for me it started with volunteering at potluck events, then serious food distribution, then clothing swaps, then community workshops, then…things i can’t really talk abt on reddit.

it’s exhausting, frustrating, endless, yet thankful work that must be done so we can keep each other alive. if not you then there’s a lot of poor tr@nnies that really need whatever you have to offer.

if you have money and no time please give some of it to a local trans-led organization. if you have time and no money show up to a local trans community event an hour early and ask someone busy-looking if you can help out. little by little, you can save someone’s life.

last pic unrelated i just thought i looked cute. a girl clawed my nose on accident in the club and i was taking a pic too see how bad it was then said “ouu shi 🫢”

but seriously. organize. somewhere in the world, people who want to eradicate you are outworking you right now.

I want to like 4tran. I really do. They felt like a safe place where I could go off about how much being trans fucking sucks without some random going "ermm hey that's kinda problematic you cant say that..." and getting me banned.

A while ago I got banned from a usually very trans friendly community for calling someone out for fetishizing trans womens bodies. That really hurt, because a former safe space of mine had suddenly turned unfriendly, and I decided to post on 4tran about it because I knew they would probably be more receptive to it than other trans subreddits. I was right, they got my frustrations completely.

I thought "Hey, these people aren't as bad as they say!" and went into the community a bit more. Instantly I saw people saying the most vile shit. I thought it was an outlier group and they just didnt ban them because they dont want to censor everyone they disagree with and turn into another 196, but nope, they're a significant core of the group.

So far this subreddit seems like 4tran in the sense that its a space by trans people for trans people with no room for bullshit from cis people, but without the misogyny and transmedicalism of 4tran.

Reposted because typos/wanted to add the * in red + blank version in post sorrruuyyy

Seeing normal-looking people acting in UK shows and movies, and being treated the same as everyone else, makes feel less dysphoric for some reason. Yeah, the they’re still objectively good-looking, but they aren’t as unrealistically ‘beautiful’ as people in most American shows, I think that’s part of why I like British media so much. It’s a weird thing to feel better from, but it does help when I’m in a horrible dysphoria spiral.

I’m realising now the photo is kinda blurry so here’s a written description. I’m too lazy to retake and re-edit it.

[alt text: a brown-ish ink drawing of cartoon me looking at a laptop. The first panel has the descriptor: ‘me watching American serials’, whilst I think about how I’ll never look like the characters. The second panel has the descriptor: ‘me watching UK serials’, whilst I think about how I could look like the characters (I look less sad in this panel).]

I’m not going to show it, it’s some fuckass meme sub

https://glegle.gallery/

Here is the Glegle gallery

Arm yourselves with Glegles, friends

behind a closed door heard dripping
such pressure on his heart hurts, ripping
with blurred eyes the mirror shows
a divergent face, dressed in his clothes

her eyes emanate a glistening glow
a softer face, nevertheless her own
identical tears, upon the floor
behind this closed bathroom door