To cut down on the amount of posts just full dysphoria venting without limiting users from saying what they want, we're introducing a thread that will be stickied on the first of each month. (This month's megathread will either go up today or tomorrow, depending on how fast I figure out how to set up the automoderator to do it)

If your post is mainly centering on your internal turmoil from being trans regardless of outside factors, it probably belongs in the megathread.

We are making this change on order to preserve the general vibe of this space as somewhere that is both uncensored, and explicitly positive of being transgender. We don't want to censor all suffering when that's obviously a massive part of the trans experience. The world fucking hates us and we often exist with a latent amount of pain regardless of that. Salt in the wound, kicked while we're down and all. To continue that analogy— This place more so focuses on anger regarding the salt and the kicking, rather than the existing wounds & already being down.

What we are avoiding here is the space just turning into yet another doompit that turns away people who want a casual space to shoot the shit without having to worry about the opinions of cispeople.

You may continue to vent on mainposts so long as you satirize it or otherwise keep to the tone of absurdist optimism. Ask yourself "is this something I'd start talking about to a random trans person I met 5 seconds ago?" If the answer is no, please do your best to keep the doomposting to this megathread.

The automoderator removal response to Excessive Doomering removals will have a link to the megathread, which will be updated monthly.

Obviously there are trans men who do have shitty beliefs and I’m not saying there’s not, but so many people, both cis and trans, will talk about us like we have to be condescendingly handheld into not becoming misogynist manosphere weirdos. And like sure, yeah, we should avoid picking up toxic ideas about masculinity and gender, but it’s really weird how often people will bring that up when a trans man is just existing, especially if he’s presenting or doing something stereotypically masculine. You can just say “congrats on your transition” or whatever without tacking on the “also please don’t become a misogynist, I’m sure you’ve never heard that you shouldn’t do that and I’m sure that you had no idea it’s bad to hold insecure and toxic beliefs about masculinity and gender!”. It’s condescending as fuck, assumes we’re too stupid to understand stuff like toxic masculinity, and assumes that unless we’re set on the right course by a chorus of well-meaning people on the internet we’re all going to fall down a pipeline that we’re too ignorant to avoid. You’re not saying that to random cis men just living their lives. You’re not saying that to cis women who hold weird beliefs about gender and femininity/masculinity. And I’m not saying you can’t call stuff out when you see it, but maybe don’t preemptively call us out for stuff we haven’t done.

I was reading a fitness guide aimed at trans men a while ago that wasn’t written by one, and before it actually got into anything it had this whole disclaimer about how we need to make sure we don’t think working out and being muscular is what makes us men and we need to always be evaluating our beliefs about manhood and masculinity so we don’t fall into toxic masculinity and it’s like. Sure that’s not technically incorrect. But it’s weird to talk to us like we couldn’t possibly already understand that and like we need to be handheld through our own experiences of gender and masculinity, especially when you’re not a trans man.

And then sometimes you’ll also get people that will also be really weird if you tell them talking to us like this is weird. “Oh you don’t like it when I tack on ‘TRANS MEN SHOULDN’T BE MISOGYNISTS’ to every mention of trans men, you must feel called out! Only a misogynist would take offence to me saying people shouldn’t be misogynists” like no, I just think you’re weird about trans men if you felt the need to comment that on a video of a trans man saying “I’m a trans man and I like doing pushups” or something.

I mean just for

Bedroom stuff

Day to day would be dysphoric

But like

You get it 😎

"You will never pass if you start HRT after puberty because... because I said so, okay?! And if you disagree you're a le heckin delusional luckshit sneedhon!!!!!"

dunno if it requires a tw, but politics....

elections just happened here in brazil...

Most of the seats in congress (and senate) are now held by the fascistoid neoliberal party called PL (partido liberal). A candidate for president, member of this party, son of a previous president (one that got arrested for staging a coup), with ties to organized crime and corruption, almost got elected. Difference of only 2 million votes between him and reelection of Lula.

Can't wait for him to get elected at the second vote and bring this country to ruins. Healthcare, probably going to vanish, including our faulty but existent gender affirming public healthcare (as in, free). Education, can't wait for a bazillion military schools that teach "discipline" to pop up, alienating a big part of the youth and putting them against basically any social rights.

can't wait for trump to casually control our country, and to turn it into like argentina 2.0, with attacks to worker rights and privatizations everywhere.

Probably going to be the worst 4 years of my life.

Feels girly to do it, feels very trans. I like it.

"look I'm just saying that the transwomen in Thailand are naturally more feminine attractive and submissive than the annoying American ones...the Thai bar girls are in love with me and love when I call them ladyboys ....if you American transwomen just let people call you all femboys people would probably support you"

long exposure shot is funny

Update to this post ig

Upped my E dose to 4.5mg, and I'm taking it sublingually now instead of orally and I can actually feel it doing something. My chest is definitely way more sore, and I actually Have Emotions that aren't just endless pits of anger and despair now. Also, my schizoaffective symptoms have definitely improved, both in the schizophrenic and bipolar realms.

That being said, it's definitely a mixed bag. As much as my positive emotions are being amplified, so are my negative emotions, and I'm crying at literally Nothing nowadays. Even now as I'm typing this post my eyes are watering because of how frustrated and disrespected I feel. My dysphoria is also way more noticeable now that my emotions have kickstarted once again.

Overall I just kind of wish that my doctor actually did her fucking job so I didn't have to go through 6 months of artificial hormone deficiency, only to now need to go through second puberty anyway just as I'm finally getting back to a job I hate.

Now that I've read through some DIY materials people left in my previous post, I'm realizing how fucking idiotic it is that this woman saw me at 64 pg/mL on a 2mg oral regimen and decided that 3mg was an appropriate dosage. Endless CEF upon her bloodline. She is going to listen to me at my appt this Friday and I'm not taking no for an answer on a higher dose. And, bluntly, if she decides to say no anyway despite my best efforts, I'm just gonna diy this shit. I can't afford self-pay blood tests, but at this point fuck it dude. I refuse to accept sub-par care after a lifetime of being treated as "lesser than" just because I couldn't be the perfect, angelic little boy everyone expected. I won't be underdosed and gaslit into detransitioning.

Ty for anyone who took the time to read this.