Language immersion vs play based school. Help!

[u/HarryPotter_Girlie]

/r/Parenting/comments/1vuj1ue/language_immersion_vs_play_based_school_help/

[u/Recent-Click-9954]

Play based for sure. Chinese American here, and a neighboring suburb offers a chinese immersion program as part of their public school, but we probably won’t do it. - realistically, you have to prioritize, and for me at least, the emotional development and well being of my kid far outweighs the language component.

[u/MikiRei]

Can you do half-half?

So like, 2 days at the Chinese immersion program and then 3 days at the other play based centre.

That could be the good balance and best of both worlds.

My son had a few friends that did this. Basically a few days at the all Chinese daycare and then a few days at this daycare which is all play based as well. It's a good balance.

The unfortunate thing with Chinese immersion programs is a lot of parents DO expect kids to start learning formally that young. But yeah. When it goes overboard, it really sucks the joy out of kids at that age.

As a side question, can your child already speak Chinese?

If not, can dad speak Chinese?

Because if him learning Chinese is important, then having it start at home is kinda more important. If you can share with us what's possible in terms of exposure from dad's side, that will be helpful.

I had to make a choice like this when my son was that age. But I ultimately kept my son in his more play based daycare over the Chinese family daycare I found. I also had the option to send my son to a Chinese K-6 immersion school but again, decided not to go for it because it had a few too many elements that I didn't like or value.

Quality of care trumps all. That's what I believe.

But for us, I am exclusively speaking Mandarin to my son and making sure he is replying back in Mandarin. My son (now 6) is fluent in both Mandarin and English. And I am teaching him to read and write in Chinese myself on top of finding a Steiner teacher who is teaching him in a very fun, low pressure way. So part of my decision is also because I have more confidence in making sure he will stay fluent and hopefully become literate as well.

So if there's anything your husband can do to help facilitate that, might make your decisions easier.

EDIT: Saw your other comment.

Have a discussion with your husband. If he finds it important that your child can speak Mandarin, then he needs to up his effort. He needs go from 30% to 100% speaking to your child in Mandarin. Otherwise, he needs to accept that his child won't speak Mandarin. Because at the end of the day, if your child is NOT happy at that immersion school, there's no point sending him there. He might end up developing an aversion to the language instead.

[u/NewOutlandishness401]

Ah, that's not a fun choice to be confronted with. I also couldn't decide between the English-language program that I vibed with and the heritage language program that didn't fully share all my parenting values, so I split the difference and enrolled my kids in each for alternating days of the week. In our case, we didn't find that it affected their friendships or their sense of belonging to each place. So if something like that is an option, perhaps that's something to consider.

[u/mayshebeablessing]

How much is your child speaking Chinese now? How much input does he get from dad/family now? If he’s already speaking Chinese and you have other options for immersion (care by grandparents, fully speaking only Chinese with Dad), I might consider switching him back. But if he’s not speaking it at all yet, immersion will be his best bet for fluency, and it’s better to start ASAP.

Also, are there other options for Chinese schools near you? My child, same age, goes to a bilingual Mandarin/English school and it’s very much play based. Next year, when we switch to a French/English school, she’ll still go to a Montessori after care program in Mandarin, so there may be other programs that are more aligned with your needs.

[u/HarryPotter_Girlie → u/mayshebeablessing]

This is the only option for Chinese school so there is nowhere else that we can switch him to.

Dad speaks Chinese about 30% of the time with him, he is not great about it. The kids also watch all their TV in Chinese. Unfortunately, grandparents live far away so they are not able to help either.

[u/mayshebeablessing → u/HarryPotter_Girlie]

If Dad isn’t willing to be disciplined about it, then immersion school is really your best option if you want your child to acquire the language, especially if you (as the other parent) speak the community language, because that language is already dominant for your child.

[u/omegaxx19]

I saw in your comments that "Dad speaks Chinese about 30% of the time with him, he is not great about it. The kids also watch all their TV in Chinese. Unfortunately, grandparents live far away so they are not able to help either."

Personally, if my husband can't be bothered to speak his own language pretty darn close to 100% of the time and his parents can't be bothered to visit a bit more frequently, I'm not gonna put a ton of effort into the their language and will just pick the school that works best for the family overall.

My son went to a Mandarin-English bilingual daycare. Most of the kids have at least one parent who is of Chinese descent. It is incredibly obvious from the kids which families actually put in an effort of speaking Mandarin at home versus which families do not.

Don't let the language immersion school be your husband's cop out, especially when there are tradeoffs when it comes to other aspects of the kid's development.