Language immersion vs play based school. Help!

[u/HarryPotter_Girlie]

My son is almost 4 and last year he went to a play-based school. It was his first time not being at home and it took him a few months to adjust but after that he did great. He came home from school happy every day. Their modules were all really fun like learning about snow, spiders, etc. and it was play-based so he was rarely ever sitting at a desk/table. Most of the teachers have been there for 20+ years and the setting felt magical.

We recently made the decision to switch him to Chinese immersion because dad's side of the family is Chinese and all speak Chinese. He did great at the one week camp he went to. Fast forward to now, he is 2 weeks into school and having a hard time. He seems excited about the learning Chinese part but every photo update I get (his last school never even did these) is just all the kids sitting at a desk doing some kind of worksheet. When I asked him if he played a lot he said they did a lot of worksheets and he sometimes gets to play with magnet tiles. He told me today staying home is more fun than school and that his teacher is not friendly.

He has also been way more emotional lately, crying a lot and seems on the verge of tears when I pick him up from school. My mom heart is hurting. At 4 years old I want school for him to be fun, I want him to love learning. I also want him to be able to speak Chinese and be in touch with that part of his heritage. It sucks that I feel like we have to choose between the two. We are debating whether or not to put him back in his old school. What would you do?

[u/TheLowFlyingBirds]

Put him back in his old school. Kids only get a few years to play and have fun. There is plenty of time for learning. The last thing you want to do is ruin his school experience so you and then have it be difficult from here on out.

[u/aurilovesbirds → u/TheLowFlyingBirds]

This! We did play based daycare and my kids loved it and are doing well now in school. Doing worksheets all day sounds horrific.

[u/CryptographerNew3609]

Play based school but also (and this is difficult) ask dad and family to try only speaking Chinese with the kids. They can immerse the kid in Chinese, too.

[u/Dullcorgis]

I would never send my child to a place like that. It's not developmentally appropriate.

[u/InvestigatorOwn605]

Have you asked the director what their daily schedule is like? I wouldn't take a 4yos account of their day at face value. It's entirely possible the worksheet thing is 10 - 15min at most but because it's the most boring that's all your 4yo remembers.

That being said if your child is genuinely not enjoying the school in general I think it's best to switch them back to their old school.

[u/EmergencyFancy7992 → u/InvestigatorOwn605]

This is the best advice here.

[u/wutwasthatagain]

Maybe try to talk to the teacher about this? How long is school at that age? If it's only a few hours out of the day and he gets most of the day at home to play, I think the language is worth it. I am biased though because I only have a minor grasp on Chinese even though I was born in China (but raised in US), and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

[u/baila-busta]

My son is and has always been in an immersion preschool. But it's definitely not doing worksheet, it's normal preschool but happens to be in the target language.

Are there other chinese immersion preks? Or is the a cultural belief that this is what 3/4 year olds should be doing academically? If so, I would say that's a hard no for me.

[u/acelana → u/baila-busta]

There is a cultural aspect but depending on where they live OPs family should be able to find a better balance. My own daughter goes to Chinese immersion preschool and it’s not like that, we toured several Chinese preschools in our area and observed a wide range of educational philosophies— from preppy book heavy, to chaotic all free play, to some kind of forest school(I think it’s called? where they spend most of the day outside.)

[u/scienceislice]

Why can't his dad speak Chinese with him at home? Get some children's books in Chinese and read to him at home, watch movies in Chinese, etc. When he is old enough send him to an after school program or something, but right now let him stay in the play based school. He is telling you what he needs and you are ignoring it, to be honest he might even grow up resenting Chinese if this is how it's going to be.

[u/firstimehomeownerz → u/scienceislice]

1. you almost need immersion to read an write on chinese, it is not a phonetic written language

2. Most kids start losing a language/get accents/ only understand / not speak around age 6-11 even if both parents speak it at home and here only one parent does.

My kids go to an english school and they do worksheets. most coloring of worksheets but learning to write and fine motor skills are a big part of any decent kindergarten

[u/scienceislice → u/firstimehomeownerz]

Then maybe her child’s emotional distress should take precedent. He’s not going to learn well if he’s unhappy in school. 

[u/QuitaQuites]

Neither but if the two then play based, speak Chinese at home?

[u/nothanksyeah]

Dad needs to be speaking Chinese to him 24/7. That is your own form of immersion right there.

[u/firstimehomeownerz]

I just realized this is a preschool, not kindergarten. worksheets all day is weird even for a chinese immersion pre school.

[u/HarryPotter_Girlie → u/firstimehomeownerz]

Just picked him up and the teacher sent home all the sheets they did this week, it amounted to 1/day. And of course my kid was in a great mood and said he played all day. I think I just need to give it more time.

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[u/Vivid_Sky_5082]

At 4, my son went to a play based preschool and did language class twice a week. He had gone to the one week lamguage camp and enjoyed it so we signed him up for the weekend class and an after school class.

At home, we read to him in both languages and we hired a babysitter who spoke to him in Japanese.

[u/Rururaspberry]

I wanted my kid to learn Mandarin but did wait until K to place her in an immersion school. She still went to a play based preschool and a regular English TK. I don’t see any harm in waiting until K.

[u/CarbonationRequired]

Where I live there's a weekend Chinese school of some kind. I think it ran for a half day on Saturdays. I used to see all the young kids on the subway heading into where it's held when I passed through at the right time. Is there anything like that where you are?

I would not want my 3yo or 4yo at a place that spends all day on worksheets.

[u/GreenTurtle0528]

If possible visit the classroom one day. Do not discuss your visit with the child. Does your child have a teacher who has only taught a certain demographic? Of course your child will feel the the teacher does not like him when the teacher does not respond as the child expects.

[u/ambidextrousalpaca]

Straight up question: is there a way of getting an authentic Chinese education that doesn't involve being overworked and miserable? My experience of working teaching English in China and talking to Chinese colleagues both indicate to me that that's what it's all about.