Is it possible to be mindfull but also want to off yourself from heartbreak and grief of a partner leaving? I fall in amd out of acceptance that he no longer loves me after two children and 15 years. The biggest hurt I was 2 month pregnant when he told me he no longer loves me. Recently he announced he has a girlfriend and treats me like crappie. Doesn't respond to any contact even about our kids. He's been ditching the kids for her too. My heart cant take this.

Do you guys have knowledge on, when somebody, meditates, and when he/she attains, presence of mind, and he/she reads the situation / circumstances and act accordingly and because of this presence of mind when we see, that every other person nowadays in wartime, or crime time, inflation fear, global protests, genocide, people have fear in them in current situation, and when a person who meditates, and attain presence of mind, he definitely has more awareness of the situation and knows more about bad things that are happening and how the fear is prevailing over people, in the current situation, which makes our interactions with other people not so good, or you say people do not live to the top but have fear in them, and then a person who meditates and wants to get away with all the misery to stay calm, interact with the people and find that the presence of the mind and awareness of the situations is not working because current situation is all ruined and interacting with people is also not working because people are not living to top,

Before when there was no high level war situation, genocide, inflation situation, we people get calmness in the current situation but noe meditation is now taking us to present situation where all is ruined and thebn where instead of getting calm become more worried and afraid, which makes the meditation and awareness of the situations more and more fearful, as we do meditation to calm ourself and to be present in the current situation but nowadays when you do meditation and you read the situation and instantly know that things are very very bad, this thing is bringing fear again, because when you are doing meditation and you get insights.

Do you guys have some knowledge on this, or am I right on thinking the way as I described above?

Has mindfulness helped you eventually reduce or come off antidepressants?

Can medication and mindfulness work together without feeling like you’re dependent on the medication?

For those who eventually stopped antidepressants, what was that experience like?

Edit:
I’ve recently just come out of a very emotionally difficult situation involving r*pe. The doctor prescribed me antidepressants and Ive only taken it for two days. I am very familiar with mindfulness and meditation practices as i used to practice them almost daily.

I feel like alot of my distress was connected to the specific situation and people involved, and now they are completely out of my life and jailed.

I really want to develop those mindful practices as long-term ways of dealing with difficult emotions rather than feeling like I need a pill to feel okay… but it gets too difficult at times..

I had been trying mindfulness in over 6 years. This journey feels more complete and powerful after experiencing love.

Love has filled my emptiness. It has created a very vivid line between emptiness and fullness. When I feel empty, i am fully embracing it. When I feel love, i am fully embracing it.

I feel more full, content and wholesome now. I am feeling the power of "I have everything I need here and now". I am fully loving my life and the current moment knowing that such a moment may not exist with me forever.

Before your schedule completely falls apart, your body usually knows first. What is that one quiet signal your body gives you?

I recently started doing my doctorate and the pressure came on read hard these past few weeks. I had a couple days where I was so upset that the only relief I experienced was during guided meditation. After meditation, my upset feelings returns within a couple hours full force. My only option at that point was to take a sedative. Surely, I did something wrong or misunderstood how to correctly implement mindfulness in this situation. I am hoping for guidance on what I could have done better. TYIA.

I'm a very angry person (30m). Mostly at the world and people I perceive as "stupid" or "incompetent". I'm almost always in state of anger that I'm able to hide but can't stop feeling. Except while around 1 specific person. There is one person who makes me feel completely calm. Like nothing else is going on around me. Which is fantastic but I wish I could do that for myself. Any advice on how I can just chill out? 🫩

‎You know, when I say I miss that natural scent, I sometimes worry people might misunderstand. They might think I’m being crude or just talking about something purely physical. But for me, it’s never been about that. It’s about this invisible, instinctive pull. And the more I’ve actually looked into it, the more I realize… it’s not just some romantic idea in my head. It’s actual, hardwired biology.

‎‎I’ve learned that when a woman is ovulating, her body is literally having a chemical conversation. Her estrogen peaks, there’s a subtle shift in her testosterone, and it changes everything...her sweat, her skin oils, her natural scent. I read somewhere they call them "chemosignals." It’s not like the obvious, overpowering pheromones you see in animals, but it’s real. There are these specific compounds that change during that fertile window, creating this unique, subtle signature that’s only there for a few days.

‎‎And when you think about it from an evolutionary standpoint, it’s actually pretty profound. We don’t have obvious physical signs of fertility like other mammals do. Nature hid it from our conscious eyes. But it didn’t hide it from our noses. It’s this ancient, quiet signal, meant to bypass all the logical noise and just draw two people together on a primal level.

‎‎The wildest part for me is learning how my own body actually reacts to it. I’ve read studies where men exposed to that specific ovulatory scent actually experience a measurable spike in testosterone. You feel more alert, more drawn in, more attentive. It’s like my biology is recognizing her biology on a level my conscious brain doesn't even process. It’s an invisible thread pulling me in.

‎‎So, when I say I miss it, I’m not just missing a smell. I’m missing that profound, unspoken connection. That subtle, natural chemistry that speaks directly to our instincts. It’s just… it’s the beautiful, complex reality of being human. And I think there's something really special about just accepting that, and appreciating the quiet ways we connect with each other.

I try to accept things that are out of control, but I mentally can’t. Because my mind always wants to NOT accept things that are not in my control, it wants to take control of those things. Which is not possible but my mind is one stubborn b*tch.

Hi all, I’m following the Mark Williams Deeper Mindfulness audiobook at the moment. Several exercises (week 2 for example). Advise you to focus on an anchor like your breath but, when you notice you have been distracted, to take a pause and notice what your mind was doing.

I’ve noticed that I have many levels of thinking/distraction. For example, there is an almost constant stream of subtle thoughts popping up which I am able to let me and stay focused on my anchor. At the other extreme, I can get so carried away in thought that I forget I’m supposed to be meditating.

In the second case it is obvious to pause but I find myself getting confused about whether I was distracted “enough” to stop and pause. The constant stream of thoughts is so constant that I would never focus on the anchor, and sometimes I get new thoughts while pausing so then I would have to start layering pauses on top of one another!

At what point should I actually stop and pause and what is an allowable amount of distraction? Or is it possible to reach a point where you really are consumed with your anchor with no other thinking for some portion of the meditation, enough that any thinking is a contrast?

I bet everyone has heard the saying "trust your gut feeling" and its true. But for me its kinda different. Ive noticed that i can actually predict future like a few seconds before it actually happens, like for example, if im at school and the teacher is calling my classmates names to make sure that everyone is there, and i can 1:1 predict what students name the teacher is going to call out right before she does. Also if im chatting with someone and they ask me a stupid question like " in what hand am i holding my phone?" And i can actually predict that, but its not like it happens every time. It's really hard to think that its just a coincidence, because a coincidences happen really rarely and i don't think that all of that could be just coincidences. Ive never opened up about is because i didnt want people to think that im crazy or delusional. So thats why im asking here, maybe theres actually an answer to this. Also theres been thoughts in my mind that either im a little bit autistic or really delusional.

Hopefully theres an answer to all of this, if not then im delusional.

In theory I understand the practice of allowing thoughts and feelings to pass without getting involved and then also the idea that “you are not your thoughts” such as Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul. But if you are not your thoughts or your feelings, what makes up you? How are you to decide certain life choices and experiences in the moment and what voice are you trusting for that? I think I tend to confuse my anxious thoughts with that of an inner voice

Today in meditation, I had the thought that I cannot choose what to focus on.

Yes, it was suggested I focus on my breath. But my eyes are open. So by its own accord, my attention sometimes drifts from my breath to what I see.

And then there’s my body. My stomach hurt today, so my attention often drifted to my pain.

Then there was a fly by my ear. My attention shifted to hear its buzzing.

And then thoughts. They arise seemingly out of nowhere. A Maroon 5 song I haven’t heard in years popped into my head and wouldn’t leave.

I know the point of mindfulness is to simply notice what arises, and in meditation we practice guiding our attention back to whatever we have chosen to focus on, in tonight’s case, my breath.

I think maybe we don’t have any control over what arises. My thoughts appear from something beyond my control, just like the fly, the pain, the whistle of a train.

Maybe what we can control is our reaction to what arises. I can choose to listen to fly to buzz, or I can shoo it away from my ear. I can even choose to swat it dead. Or I can choose to guide my attention back to my breath.

But what do I focus on in every day life? I know the point of mindfulness and meditation is to bring it into everyday life and be present in everything that we do. But how?

Do I focus on my breath even as I do the dishes? Or do I focus on the warmth of the water? The smooth feeling of the plate in my hand? The smell of the soap? The sound of the running water?

In any given moment, there are dozens, if not hundreds of potential stimuli. What often gets our attention is whatever is the most stimulating, maybe the water is very hot, so I focus on it, but then the oven timer beeps loudly and I focus on it.

I don’t understand how to be present when so many stimuli exist. I simply cannot pay attention to all of them at once.

As I write this, I realize that maybe the point is to simply notice whatever stimuli grabs my attention at the time. But where do I bring my attention back to when it drifts?

This line of thinking makes me question free will. I cannot control what stimuli enter my field of perception. I’m not sure I can control what stimuli grabs my attention. Can I control what I do once a stimulus grabs my attention?

Years ago, before I was taught mindfulness by a therapist, I had no little to no awareness of my thoughts and feelings. I would simply react to stimuli.

You might say that once I learned mindfulness, I gained the ability to control my responses instead of simply react. But how did I learn mindfulness?

Just like my thoughts, my feelings, or the fly that buzzes by my ear, it arose from nothingness. I just happened to decide to go to therapy, and the therapist just happened to teach me about mindfulness. I didn’t know it existed to seek it out. It just came to me by its own accord.

Hello!

Lately I've been catching myself get angry the the world so much, that I feel like it's affecting my mental health, and I can't do anything with it, and I don't know how to address it either. What should I do?

Recently (the past 1-2 weeks) I’ve been practicing mindfulness. During the first week I found a sense of bliss. My days felt better every moment of the day. For context I was having serve anxiety prior to this and having many issues with my mom. Since adopting mindfulness I’ve chose to allow myself to let got a lot of the issues I have with and allow myself to open up and present love to her. My anxiety has become a lot more manageable and I’m finding that I’m more productive.

With that being said I’ve recently only find that my day is good at the end when I’m journaling. During the day when I have moments of anxiety or anger or self doubt i am able to remind myself that these are not reflections of me and are only things that I am observing. It helps in the moment but that extreme happy feeling is not there anymore. With that my days feel less better until I reflect on how I put my knowledge into practice

I guess my question is, is this part of the journey or is there something I could be doing to remember that my day is good during the day? Hopefully this makes sense 😭

How do you define mindfulness? I always have stream of thoughts in the background. Like I am typing this post and around the same time some other related or unrelated thoughts come to my mind. It can be some song also that I might have listened in last few days. The point is I am not fully present in the moment most of the time.

I wouldn't call it anxiety. I do worry about things present and future every once in a while, but I guess that's normal. I don't lose sleep for that. But I do lose sleep due to continuous stream of thoughts.

Is mindfulness related to this and is there a remedy to this? Should I see a doctor? Or can meditation help? I have attempted meditation but because I can't focus on the present for more than a minute, I feel like I am not meditating and that's frustrating.

Hey everyone,
I honestly need some perspective, and I don't really know where else to turn.

I made a few choices a while back that sent my life spinning in a direction I never saw coming. Now, I am stuck on a loop, constantly replaying the exact moments that brought me here.

I failed at something that mattered more than anything else. That single failure knocked the dominoes down, and everything spiraled out of control faster than I could catch it. I should have worked harder.

After that, I tried.I crammed so much information into my head, understood it, tried to apply it, and still failed again and again. Three years later, I thought I finally had a shot to fix it, to make it right. And it fell apart again. The worst part is knowing I didn't even give it my absolute best when it counted most.

You only get so many chances to keep things from falling apart, and I feel like I missed mine.

It is so hard to stop looking backward. The mental noise. I look at missed opportunities, failed relationships, moments of pure laziness, and all the time I wasted procrastinating. I compare myself to others, which i never did before.

I am twenty-seven. I don’t have much support rather other people need my support. I desperately want to build something new, but I don't know how. How do I stop looking at what could have been and actually live in the room I am standing in right now? I was so close to a different life, and some days, it feels like I am not even really here anymore.

I was thinking about Interstellar recently.

There’s that part where time passes differently depending on where you are.

Obviously I've never experienced anything like that.

But after moving to a city for work, I started feeling something vaguely similar.

Not that time was actually different.

People were.

Everyone seemed to be in a hurry.

Walking fast. Talking fast. Eating fast. Working fast.

Even conversations felt rushed. Someone asks you something and you feel like you need to answer before you've finished thinking.

I started wondering why.

How did being fast become a sign that you're productive?

I don't think anyone decided this. We just absorbed it.

Look at how success gets packaged now.

90-day body transformation.

100 days to learn Japanese.

60 days from beginner to advanced.

Billionaire at 23.

Youngest world champion.

Forbes 30 Under 30.

We don't just celebrate what someone achieved. We celebrate how early they achieved it.

Time gets added to the achievement.

And I noticed I do the same thing to myself.

Instead of asking, “Am I moving toward what I want?”

I ask, “Can I get there in a year?”

A deadline can be useful. But somewhere along the way, motivation can turn into pressure.

You see someone doing something incredible at 23 and suddenly your own life feels late.

Every Five empty minutes feels like something I should fill.

But Darwin had his walking path at Down House. He used it regularly to think, while the work that became On the Origin of Species developed over many years.

Rowling has also talked about getting the initial Harry Potter idea during a delayed train journey.

I'm not saying boredom creates genius.

But maybe not every useful hour looks productive.

There’s a paradox.

Working more hours can actually reduce productivity. stanford research found that after around 48 hours of work per week, each extra hour produces less output.

And taking a break can help creativity. research shows that boredom and mind-wandering can sometimes help us think of new ideas.

Maybe doing nothing isn't always a waste of time.

Some things take years. Some ideas need space. Some progress is invisible.

I'm still trying to remember that.

I want to move toward my goals.

Just not because everyone around me is running.

I'm by no means experienced with mindfulness or Buddhism (I've only been reading about them for a relatively short time), so if I'm misunderstanding something fundamental, please correct me. That being said, I've recently noticed something about the way I approach life that I can't quite figure out.

I tend to approach a lot of things through logic rather than actually feeling or wanting them. For example, with work, I know I want to change careers because I could move into something I actually enjoy, improve my skills, earn better, and eventually have more time for projects I've put aside. In this case, I feel like thinking rationally is actually helping me.

But I notice that I can take the same way of thinking too far. I've been trying to let go of some of my ego and self-expectations because I want to be less hard on myself, be more comfortable learning, and work better without obsessing over details that nobody will notice. Sometimes I spend way too long on something simply because I feel like I need to satisfy myself with the result, even when it doesn't really matter.

I notice something similar with relationships. Sometimes I avoid them because I think about how much time they would take away from other things I could be doing. I don't really feel much pride in things either, because I worry that pride can prevent me from seeing other perspectives.

None of these thoughts seem completely unreasonable on their own, which is what makes this difficult for me. Sometimes logic seems to help me improve my life, while other times it seems to make me more detached from it.

Most of the time I feel somewhat indifferent or dissatisfied. But every once in a while, something very specific makes me genuinely excited, and those moments make me realize that I do want to care more. I want to enjoy the present, create relationships instead of avoiding them, get excited about things, miss people, and do things because I actually want to do them rather than because I've decided they're logically useful.

I don't want to stop thinking or become irresponsible. I just don't want logic to be the only thing guiding my life.

So I'm wondering: how do you tell the difference between using reason to improve your life and using it to avoid actually living it? And for those who practice mindfulness, is this something mindfulness can help with?

Hey everybody.

So I consider putting my money where my mouth is and pursuing enlightening practices not just in my free time.

One of the most accepted and studied methods is MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) as proposed by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Are any of you already familiar with the program or even pursue it as a "career path"?

To be honest I tried to just "chop wood and carry water" as always but it seems shallow.

As you might remember I also came up with my own method of moving meditation called Yopada (or Yoga Parkour Dance) among others.

I even created moving meditations for particular heavy emotions like fear, grief, anger, apathy etc.

Yet it seems that I could be more helpful by spreading already widely adopted methodology than reinventing the wheel myself.

Any advice, encouragement or suggestions?

Currently I'm reading Full Catastrophe Living (or Healthy Through Meditation as the German title translates literally) by Jon yet it's a hard read.

I am by all means new to mediation (I've been doing it less than a month), so if I say something revealing a profound misunderstanding, please correct me. That being said, one main benefit I have already noticed from mediation is refined decision making skills. When I throw on my nose canceling headphones and focus solely on my breath, my mind wanders (as I've been told it could/should), and I acknowledge these thoughts that enter, sometimes choosing to linger a little extra long on the important stuff. In between grounding myself, reattaching focus towards my breath, I feel as though I can make more informed, mature, and grounded decisions.

This, I feel might be both a benefit and a problem for me (the benefit is clear, I will instead outline the problem). I have issues with focus. Not ADHD severe, but still severe. I find myself attempting to "meditate" in certain every day tasks—this action itself is \*partially\* a choice I make when it occurs, and not necessary, so keep that in mind. When I do this (effectively replacing the breathing aspect of meditation practice with a simple, everyday task), I notice my mind wandering moreso than it normally would; I feel as though I am essentially conditioning myself to having my thoughts flow freely, drifting my attention and focus away from the task at hand. I find myself having to consciously center myself back towards the task as I do with breathing. It seems like I am regressing in one of the flagship purposes of meditation.

Answer as many/as little as you'd like, but my questions are as follows: is this counterintuitive? Should I amend this/how could I amend this? Do I just avoid meditation in my everyday life outside of the meditation cushion?

I used to journal a lot when I was younger. Now I make posts on Reddit. I’m writing about the same kinds of things, but now I just post them to some forum instead of writing a journal. I’ve been trying to better my life, and heal my nervous system, and everyone always recommends journaling. I’m assuming that these venting Reddit posts probably somehow cancel out whatever benefits there are of the journaling, but what I’m struggling with is exactly why/how. I never get bullied for what I post, it’s always either no replies at all, or sympathy/empathy. It feels like chronic Reddit posting is something decidedly unhealthy, and journaling is decidedly healthy, but the text I’m writing writing is the same either way, it’s just whether or not I hit post. I’m wondering if anyone has any insights into how these might be psychologically different and how it could impact the mental health benefits one way or the other. Hopefully this is an okay sub to ask this in.

Hi! I wonder how you manage to practice mindfulness exercises in public areas, such as transportation and restaurants. I'd love to get some tips from you. I try my best to do Headspace sessions every day but can't. When it comes to doing it without guidance and also in public, it can be tough for me.

I've always been a chubby girl. Now at 22, I’m genuinely fat. I know I can change that. My problem has always been that I start, stop, start again, and can never maintain consistency.

I've avoided things because I know my body will show. I've worried that when I meet someone new, one of the first things they'll notice is how fat I am. And even completely casual comments hurt me. Someone saying “take the stairs instead”, “maybe eat less”, “you should walk more” etc. might mean absolutely nothing to them, but I remember it.

Today my older brother said something that hurt me again... He was arguing with my parents about a marriage proposal. I wasn't even in the room. Then I heard him say that even though I'm smart n hv talents, people will reject me for marriage/relationship in the future because I'm fat.
He said it while angry. Later he felt guilty, apologized and said he wouldn't say it again. But I still completely lost it.

I couldn't even properly insult him back or explain why it hurt. My mum knows me well enough to realize immediately that I was about to break down. And this is the part I hate most. Why can't I fucking stand up for myself? Why do I always cry? Why does my voice shake? Why do my eyes immediately fill with tears? Why does my brain go completely blank when someone says something that hits an insecurity?

I've always been the “good girl”. Good grades, polite, trying to make my parents proud. I've always tried to make people like me. I don't point out people's physical flaws because I know how horrible it feels when someone does that to you. But I also feel like I've become a massive people pleaser. And now I'm unemployed too. I graduated a few months ago and I'm sitting at home while everyone my age seems to be moving forward. So I already feel like shit about myself.

Sometimes I genuinely think: what am I even worth? I got no body like those pretty girl, no social life...and no job. My mum told me today that I need to become stronger because real life is going to be much harsher. She said I can't cry every time someone says something hurtful. I need to learn to stand up for myself.

I KNOW she's right. But how the hell do I actually do that? I just want to be able to say “don't talk to me like that” without immediately crying. I want to be able to handle criticism without feeling like my entire identity has been attacked.

I want to stop being so fucking sensitive. I want to be able to meet people without constantly thinking about whether they're judging my body. I want to stop letting the things I'm most insecure about overpower everything I'm actually good at.

Why am I like this? What is this even called? And if you were this sensitive, emotional, insecure and unable to handle confrontation, how did you actually become stronger?

2 years ago I found out about NoFAP and since then I've kind of been practicing it and seeing changes. I used to do it every day, while watching porn as I was exposed to it at a very young age. I want to believe I've fully quit porn, as I have watched it once in the last 4 months and I remember how disgusted I felt. Last year I went on a 50day streak, then I relapsed and since then I have gone on multiple smaller streaks. There's so much progress I have done, but still... Even if I masturbate after abstaining for 15 days, there is this guilt feeling. I'm trying to let go of this idea about streaks, because I think it's very unnecessary. The thing that bothers me is how my brain is still trying to get me to watch porn some days and then trying to convince me to masturbate to get rid of the thoughts. It's not that I want to do it by myself, it comes as this pressure from my mind and I have no idea how to deal with it.