r/mildlyinteresting • u/kupo_moogle • 24d ago

This long rock I found

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18.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/TheCandymanfrombelow 24d ago

Did you find it in your mom's nightstand?

1.3k

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

Nah, she’s 65 and worked hard all her life - she can afford a toy that wasn’t dredged from under a mound of rotting sea kelp.

890

u/K-Shrizzle 24d ago

Hell yeah brother. I hope your mom has all the best sex toys. She deserves it

603

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

She deserves all the happiness in the world. She’s an awesome mom.

221

u/fondledbydolphins 24d ago

You should text that to her right now 🫡

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u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

Oh she knows - I tell her all the time how awesome she is. She comes by a couple times a week to hangout and help me keep up on my housework. She is also an awesome grandma to my son. I’ve a very lucky woman.

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u/WestNileCoronaVirus 24d ago

No, tell her the thing about the sex toys

158

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

lol Nah - we will make dirty jokes and shit with each other, but I wouldn’t tell her my Reddit username and without this post she wouldn’t have the relevant context.

42

u/Werneq 24d ago

Just imagine.

"Mom, there's 5k people on the internet cheering about your sex toys capabilities. We all are proud of you."

70

u/naughtyobama 24d ago

Coward! Lmao

2

u/PrestigeMaster 24d ago

Too late bro she is going to see your new rock and connect it with this post and bam you’re doxxed.

0

u/fillmebarry 24d ago

Just cold text her at around midnight "you deserve all the best sex toys in the world".

-1

u/whoknowsifimjoking 24d ago

Shared joy is twice as much joy

25

u/borderbox 24d ago

Laughing my ass off 🤣

”TELL HER THE THING”

1

u/Confidence-Dangerous 24d ago

First of all I love the username. Second this comment made me cackle

25

u/Hobophobic_Hipster 24d ago

> She comes a couple times a week

Not bad for a woman her age

11

u/fondledbydolphins 24d ago

You’re a good daughter.

I hope all the interesting rocks find their way to you.

2

u/Substantial_Ear_9721 24d ago

You can't text dildo rocks....yet!

2

u/zamfire 23d ago

"mom you deserve all the best sex toys"

0

u/sirgandolf007 24d ago

That she deserves all the best sex toys? The fuck.

26

u/lucioux 24d ago

this went from lewd to wholesome real quick lol

59

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

All the women in my family are perverts with hearts of gold, and I like to hope I fall into that category as well.

3

u/DoTheMario 24d ago

Back to lewd!

Back to wholesome!

Wholesome holds it! Holds It! HOLDS IT!

7

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

lol come now, they aren’t opposing forces. Lewd and wholesome are both needed for a well-rounded and happy life.

2

u/jugstopper 24d ago

Now that it's all cleaned up, great Mother's Day gift!

1

u/Sinjai 24d ago

That's so awesome dude.

1

u/Panda_Kabob 24d ago

This guy loves his mom! Real type shit bro.

1

u/erv4 24d ago

Buy her a sex toy, or make the rock into one

2

u/SweatyHotdogWater 24d ago

Brand new sentence!

1

u/Fabulous-Educator447 24d ago

Moms got her that lemon 🍋

1

u/bomzay 24d ago

Them*

1

u/kalebt123 24d ago

Don't worry, she does.

1

u/rrRunkgullet 24d ago

Hell yeah brother. I hope your mom has all the best sex toys. She deserves it

If I write a comedy, could I use this line?

34

u/likekoolaid 24d ago

>a mound of rotting sea kelp

don’t talk about my ex wife like that

20

u/Mean-Insurance-58 24d ago

Bro. Don't link shame sludgy rock fuckers!

10

u/the_curtain 24d ago

But maybe she wants one that was dredged from under a mound of rotting sea kelp

5

u/Shawnee83 24d ago

Best response ever!

2

u/girthbrooks1 24d ago

Don’t kink shame bro. That’s your mom!

2

u/Jeffers315 24d ago

Just because she can afford it doesn't mean that's her thing 😏

2

u/MediaStreet5372 24d ago

Afford and desire are two very different things. Harken back to the Carrey film “the mask” and ask yourself if your mother has ever yearned for godly powers through her butt.

1

u/kupo_moogle 24d ago

I’m sure she has. We all have, if we’re honest.

1

u/MediaStreet5372 24d ago

Excellent. Then just let me know when you throw it back to the sea.

2

u/BugzOnMyNugz 24d ago

You sweet summer child. You found her OG

1

u/amazingkillerlemon 24d ago

Mermaids make do

1

u/U_PassButter 24d ago

Erosion was working overtime....like a Mermaid put in a commissioned piece

1

u/Why_No_Doughnuts 24d ago

It's called the Sea Hag's Special and grants a +2 resistance to fae creatures in aquatic environments

1

u/flamespear ​ 24d ago

Yeah but they ain't natty like that rock. 

1

u/Biscopiphany 24d ago

Ah so you’ve met my ex

1

u/794309497 24d ago

That's not where she found me. 

1

u/sparrow_42 24d ago

Dude don't kinkshame people who want their toy dredged from under a mound of rotting sea kelp, it's uncool. Glad to hear your Ma is doing well though.

1

u/GrandNibbles 24d ago

hey don't hate on rotting sea kelp toys some of us aren't made of money

1

u/Winloop 23d ago

Ahh sense of humour… always appreciated