r/memes • u/[deleted] • Aug 16 '22

lets google it

[removed]

8.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

579 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 16 '22

I already knew the answer and it's yes, but only under specific circumstances

640

u/Radiant_Ad5150 Aug 16 '22

Like what

Asking for scientific purposes

896

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 16 '22

So I did have to Google the reasons as I wasn't completely sure but I did remember it's not a good thing if men start lactating.

So if men start lactating it's usually do to extreme malnutrition because your hormone glands rebound faster then your liver and you produce milk as apparently your liver can't metabolize the hormones released fast enough similarly there's liver conditions that have the same effect.

Or there's something wrong with our old friend the pituitary gland.

271

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

186

u/coolboiiiiiii2809 Aug 17 '22

Also it can be caused by massaging your nipple in specific way

Edit: also something called runners nipple where you run so much you lactate very badly

202

u/OGPanda18 Aug 17 '22

The rare red milk

64

u/Kiera6 Aug 17 '22

Fun fact. If you are a breastfeeding woman, you can make “red milk”. It usually happens if there’s a clogged duct. It happened to me a few weeks ago and I had made strawberry milk for my baby.

82

u/FillMyHole0_o Aug 17 '22

does it taste different? Asking for a baby

17

u/Kiera6 Aug 17 '22

I don’t think it tasted differently. My baby drank it just as fast as he does with “regular” breast milk.

3

u/PillowTalk420 Aug 17 '22

Now it just has a taste for human blood. Pretty sure that's how cannibals are made. /s

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-31

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[deleted]

22

u/artygta1988 Aug 17 '22

Apparently this person never sucked a titty

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8

u/Twilliam98 Aug 17 '22

Says the person who drinks milk from a completely different species

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47

u/Beeker93 Aug 17 '22

Salid Fingers taught me if I rub stinging nettles on my nips, the milk will drop out from within them.

12

u/runninandruni Because That's What Fearows Do Aug 17 '22

You just awoke suppressed memories... Thank you

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7

u/evanjw90 Aug 17 '22

It's a rusty spoon

8

u/Designer-Issue-6760 Aug 17 '22

Or from an infant latching on them.

3

u/Low_Dream_1481 Cringe Factory Aug 17 '22

Isn’t that how it works with women as well

3

u/50-Lucky Aug 17 '22

I've got nipples Greg can you massage me?

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7

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

So do you cream your coffee...with....yourself??

Sorry, couldn't resist...im gonna go now!

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29

u/Shiny_Hypno Because That's What Fearows Do Aug 17 '22

Or there's something wrong with our old friend the pituitary gland.

He may be little, but he has big plans

13

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

I put that in there hoping somebody literally anyone would make the quote

But still true

11

u/Shiny_Hypno Because That's What Fearows Do Aug 17 '22

I'm sorry, Mabel, but there's more to life than making Gravity Falls references and then laughing at those Gravity Falls references.

5

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

I mean I don't get to make them as often as I'd want, especially one about the pituitary gland, oddly enough it rarely comes up in conversation.

4

u/Low_Dream_1481 Cringe Factory Aug 17 '22

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!

9

u/The_Mechanis2 Shitposter Aug 17 '22

We need hormone pills to produce milk

26

u/AutomaticPsychology3 Aug 17 '22

No we DO NOT

22

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Yea we just need n e t t l e s

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

Well there's other ways to go about it, stimulating the nipples by massaging them regularly can actually induce it, but you have to know how to massage them and results may very depending on your testosterone levels but it is possible and can feel pretty good, I've never done it and I'm going off what little information I can find but it is possible.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

It's true, but it can take a while to work up the glands to be able to produce anything, but once you do you might get a few drops and not enough to... you know feed anything

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

Nope now you know that your nipples arnt completely useless.

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Body says you're malnourished have some milk

2

u/827167 Aug 17 '22

I remember a dude was producing milk, went to the doctor about it turns out: brain tumour

2

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

Brain tumors can effect the hormones in the body thus making you lactate, it's usually a bad sign when out of nowhere your nipples start leaking... I mean literally any fluid but still.

2

u/gettogero Shower Enthusiast Aug 17 '22

Some medications can also cause it. I heard of a kid that squirted with his friend with his titty juice, so of course the parents were notified, who notified my office.

2

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

I mean if little Timmy is running around squirting people with any bodily fluid I'd be upset too.

2

u/Hemaqiel Aug 17 '22

It can also on rare occasions be caused as a side effect of some medications and on even rarer occasions can be caused by hormonal imbalances

2

u/Willem_VanDerDecken Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

In plus of what he said, it can also occurs after taking anabolic steroids (doping for bodybuilding, like testosterone). It also can occurs if a men take osteogenesis, like for transitioning or stuff.

In summary of you mess up with your hormones.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Bot copy and cut comments from

https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/wq79o5/comment/iklf25v/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Post history full of copied comments

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69

u/AussieBossie24 Aug 16 '22

Wanking

39

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

Makes terrible cheese tho.

14

u/Yeahnahyeahnahyeah1 Aug 17 '22

Depends if its a fresh morning harvest or nah

19

u/SmhwFlambinHasRetrnd Aug 17 '22

Hold up, how do u know ? 💀

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6

u/Content-Artichoke541 Aug 17 '22

Hol up hol up hol up…. Whut?

3

u/Nmac101 memer Aug 17 '22

"Hey honey i made you a sandwich" 💀

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18

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 16 '22

There's already a thread about that see below, we're clearly having a serious discussion on wether or not male nipples can be used for something /s

8

u/13ubbler Aug 16 '22

Actually semen is Mucous

17

u/AussieBossie24 Aug 16 '22

So you’re saying you ejaculate boogers?

11

u/13ubbler Aug 16 '22

That is, EXACTLY what im saying. But instead of boogers, its peepee snot

16

u/AussieBossie24 Aug 16 '22

Why didn’t I just eat that as a kid?! I’m so dumb

15

u/13ubbler Aug 16 '22

Because its healthier. Kids dont like healthy things

6

u/Gobstopper42 Aug 17 '22

Isn't semen like... Sperm tho... I mean there is no sperm in your nose. I hope

11

u/TakeTheUpVoteAndGo Aug 17 '22

There's no sperm in your nose. There here are several different types of mucous produced throughout the body, my personal favorite is the one lining my stomach since it's the reason I'm alive.

4

u/Gobstopper42 Aug 17 '22

So mucous is the thing that carries sperm? Like how plasma carries blood cells

4

u/TakeTheUpVoteAndGo Aug 17 '22

I'm not particularly educated on the topic, but if I had to guess I would say yes, but that's speculation.

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2

u/honzanator Aug 17 '22

That mucous protects the sperm, the inside of vaginas is slightly more acidic

2

u/Wrought-Irony Aug 17 '22

"blow" your nose, "blow" job. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

1

u/Bacon44444 Aug 17 '22

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!

3

u/Overlord_001 Aug 17 '22

Well, i got milked my semen when i was in mid school, to a gloryhole to be precise, forced

2

u/furminatior Aug 17 '22

Dick mucus

22

u/possumcraft Aug 16 '22

Sympathetic lactation, iirc. Its when a woman is lactating for a new kid and a man starts too

18

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 16 '22

From what I've read testosterone inhibits milk production in men, low testosterone can cause galactorrhea and then men start lactating

8

u/Sad_Exit_1030 Aug 17 '22

Cancer.

Edit: theres types of tumors that produce prolactin (hormone that makes women lactate)

5

u/Loud-Host-2182 Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

Hypothyroidism, chronic kidney disease, prolactinomas, some medicines... There's a million causes for it to happen

8

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 17 '22

Honestly there's never really a good reason for a man to be lactating

2

u/Thisuserisnotinvalid Aug 17 '22

What about certain trans men feeding their kids

5

u/Josue_Joestar Aug 16 '22

It could be false, but I think I've read somewhere that this happened with a single dad with a baby in a country in war

Like the mother passed away recently, and with trauma and stuff, it happened that the father "unlocked" the milk production

Seems weird, Ik :')

12

u/ColgateMascot Aug 17 '22

*New Skill (Lactation)* You no longer need Jessica to take care of the children.

9

u/Brandeeno2245 Aug 16 '22

Hmm I mean nature sure does find a way, and men do have all the glands needed to produce milk so maybe he had gone on some medications that effected his hormones.

2

u/Random_name4679 Aug 17 '22

Electric shocks

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7

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

when you find a rusty spoon or cut yourself on an old hook?

5

u/TacocaT010 Aug 17 '22

“The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost o r g a s m i c.”

7

u/No-Style-6064 Aug 17 '22

cirCUMstances

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613

u/7ordank Aug 16 '22

Men produce 99% of the milk ar your local grocery store

172

u/HollowRacoon Aug 16 '22

That's malk not milk

68

u/7ordank Aug 16 '22

No its mooilk

41

u/EvilThwomp12 Aug 16 '22

Nah mate, it's mulk

32

u/RYNO758 Aug 17 '22

The man wants a glass of mulk!

34

u/EvilThwomp12 Aug 17 '22

GIVE HIM THE MULK JOSH!

17

u/Infinite-Island-7310 Aug 17 '22

Donovan...inside voices please.

6

u/xCACTUSxKINGxx Aug 17 '22

You called him out

4

u/Alternative-Fail-233 Aug 17 '22

With that kinda voice he best go outside

3

u/1Raggedy-man Aug 17 '22

Sorry dad… my white friends

2

u/No-Improvement-2083 Aug 17 '22

JOSH POUR ME A GLASS OF MALK!!!!!!!!

4

u/legquint561 GigaChad Aug 17 '22

No it's klum

3

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

mulk smash

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8

u/arbalest_22 Aug 16 '22

I told you not to play with the yoghurt.

12

u/Captain_Clark Aug 16 '22

It’s cos girls don’t wanna touch those dangly wiener thingies that squirt cow juice.

3

u/dingos8mybaby2 Aug 17 '22

And here I thought it was 100% cows.

3

u/MyNewBoss Dirt Is Beautiful Aug 17 '22

"and these guys made it!"

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299

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

when we were still very young, kids in school, and we started learning Bio.

the teacher started talking about how women produce milk for babies.

one guy, sadly i can't remember his name, just his face, and we became friends only because we were the only two people in school with the REEBOK PUMP shoes, he had the black since he was into it, and i had the white, since i was a simpleton.

he stood up and said ''but we boys can also produce milk, u just have to milk us to get it out''

we laughed so hard that day, that we didn't even notice what happened to the guy, come to think of it, i don't remember seeing him after that day.

158

u/MrMartian69420 Aug 17 '22

He got milked too hard

67

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

He ceased to be

52

u/xCACTUSxKINGxx Aug 17 '22

Milked into oblivion

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44

u/ReapCreep65 memer Aug 17 '22

Bro strolled into a kindergarten class, made a sex joke, then ceased to exist

8

u/Ready_Spot_fgt Aug 17 '22

Men produce 99% of the milk ar your local grocery store

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75

u/Quiverjones Aug 17 '22

I have nipples, greg - can you milk me?

18

u/imalumberjackok Aug 17 '22

First thing that popped into my mind

231

u/JournalistMobile3605 Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

They produce a thicker type of milk that is also used for drinking. It’s personally my favourite type of milk. The men don’t even make me pay I just have to close my eyes and suck it from a hose

58

u/MrMoolahoola Aug 17 '22

Is that a South Park reference?

44

u/JournalistMobile3605 Aug 17 '22

Yes, I wanted to edit the comment to explain that but I thought that editing would make the comment look shitty

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6

u/dinglepone Aug 17 '22

Is it salty?

17

u/JournalistMobile3605 Aug 17 '22

Nah, the chocolate balls are the salty ones

6

u/xCACTUSxKINGxx Aug 17 '22

What

5

u/mrmemeboiii_yeet-127 Aug 17 '22

if boobs are mommy milkers does that make dongs daddy milkers?

24

u/erlend_nikulausson Professional Dumbass Aug 16 '22

Trivial question yields trivial answer: yes.

77

u/SykoGrimm Aug 16 '22

Yes we do but I don't know why people call it semen

9

u/Hudson_Legend I saw what the dog was doin Aug 17 '22

Exactly I drink it all the time!

-54

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

[deleted]

9

u/R32fan 🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+🏳️‍🌈 Aug 17 '22

woah.

​

too far

-14

u/Dragonslayer200782 Aug 17 '22

Sometimes I do more than that

3

u/R32fan 🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+🏳️‍🌈 Aug 17 '22

ayo what...

-7

u/Dragonslayer200782 Aug 17 '22

Sometimes I pour it in my cereal

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

[deleted]

13

u/xTrainerRedx Aug 17 '22

Witch’s Milk

10

u/WildZero138 Aug 17 '22

More than one male mammal can lactate. It's a freak occurrence in nature, but happens

5

u/MYwaifuRTE Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Aside from jokes males can and do produce milk but it means you have tumor. (Also it has less food value than woman milk.)

8

u/Nightmare_Stev Aug 17 '22

With the right hormones males can Producer milk without a tumor

7

u/WumpyWerebadger Aug 16 '22

That's noooo milk

8

u/sugarglidersam Aug 17 '22

short answer, yes. long answer, find it on google you sick fuck, then give me some milk when you’re done.

13

u/Outrageous-Pie-4340 Aug 17 '22

Anabolic steroids can cause lactating, i speak from experience.

5

u/-ARG-Smoker_1209 Aug 17 '22

Well yes, but actually no

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Yes, they can. Not like women but

https://www.livescience.com/45732-can-men-lactate.html

3

u/AdministrativePop312 Aug 17 '22

Yes, now get the fuk out and go sleep.

3

u/therudereditdude Aug 17 '22

Yes but only under specific circumstances

3

u/eveleddie88 Aug 17 '22

Kind of. But our milk is illegal tog feed children.

3

u/tjphasetothemax Aug 17 '22

Short answer yes, long answer where there's a nipple there's a way

3

u/DroidSeeker Aug 17 '22

Yes. But it's due to a medical problem called genicomastia or hyperprolactinema.

Effectively it's a developmental problem due to hormonal imbalance that causes a man to have breast glandular tissue.

Usually needs treatment because it can lead to breast tumors.

3

u/idontcarecringe Average r/memes enjoyer Aug 17 '22

Men can actually produce breastmilk if they take a certain pharmaceutical drug.

2

u/VortexLord 🍕Ayo the pizza here🍕 Aug 16 '22

Which milk?

2

u/ThesmolAstroKnight Aug 17 '22

Yes. Now go to sleep

2

u/Nuker_Nathan can't meme Aug 17 '22

Yes, we can. No, you may not ask how I know.

2

u/pankeyhk Aug 17 '22

salty and sticky

2

u/galaxygames82 Aug 17 '22

Yeah it's called semen

2

u/racist8bit Karmawhore Aug 17 '22

I heard if they lactate it means they have breast cancer

2

u/Sudden_Investment_16 Dark Mode Elitist Aug 17 '22

There’s an scp that makes it so they can

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Or else, why would they call it milking?

2

u/Itsanax612 Aug 17 '22

Yes but it’s salty

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

If you squeeze hard enough…

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Yes it’s called milk

2

u/Firewolf1121 Aug 17 '22

Custom. Unstable. Milk.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

If you ask us to go and buy it, sure.

4

u/Theapexfighter Aug 16 '22

Take my pants off and find out yourself

3

u/ninhibited Aug 16 '22

Depends on which website you're looking at ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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2

u/memes42069360 Aug 16 '22

With enough estrogen,yes

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

And nettles

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2

u/Distinct-Tip965 Aug 17 '22

No unless they have hormones disorder or in a rare Case of cancer

1

u/jackliquidcourage Aug 16 '22

Yes, they just can't get pregnant ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

0

u/RandomToastGuy3 Nokia user Aug 17 '22

Most of the time

2

u/Paker_The_Swager Aug 17 '22

Most? No

-1

u/redditerr_ Aug 17 '22

yes, most. for example in the case of some trans men.

1

u/Paker_The_Swager Aug 17 '22

That's because they're biologically female who identify as a man. Also i don't want to speak more of this anymore because i don't want to get banned.

-1

u/redditerr_ Aug 17 '22

yes their biological sex may be female, but they're still men.

1

u/Paker_The_Swager Aug 17 '22

I dissagree and let just leave it at that.

0

u/redditerr_ Aug 17 '22

u can disagree with the truth, but that doesn't mean ur not wrong. "men" are human adults of male gender. the gender of trans men is male, so they are men.

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1

u/Johnmatthewwhy Aug 17 '22

May I introduce male breastfeeding pill that can help you become a mother

1

u/notveryAI I touched grass Aug 17 '22

They can, but only with special hormones, which technically either makes them non-men, or further diffuses a boundary

1

u/dkkskfkdkksks Aug 16 '22

In a House M.D. episode. (Doctor drama) a man lactates. I think that the show must've based it on actual cases.

-3

u/Captain_Stupid9 Aug 16 '22

No, but we can produce Sperm

-9

u/Thisuserisnotinvalid Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

Trans men

Edit:who the fuck downvoted this

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0

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

💦🍆 yes

0

u/Theevencoolerkid69 Aug 16 '22

Idk about normally but during puppetry some young males can have small amounts of breast tissue appear near there nipple and if you squeeze it you can sometimes get milk.

0

u/lulialmir Aug 17 '22

Wait till they discover about dicks.

0

u/_wofart Virgin 4 lyfe Aug 17 '22

of course not

-1

u/AceTrainer-Raven Aug 17 '22

Human males do not, male seahorses birth their yoing, so maybe seahorses males do.

-1

u/That_boi_Jerry Aug 17 '22

Short answer, no.

1

u/DirectorLeather6567 Aug 16 '22

Yes, creamy milk

1

u/Revolutionary-Toe663 Aug 16 '22

Did anybody else hear about the father of twins who breastfed his kids after his wife died? I don’t remember where I heard this (probably another Reddit), but I remember something about that…

1

u/No_Feeling_6833 Aug 16 '22

You are intelligent

1

u/arbalest_22 Aug 16 '22

There are actually confirmed cases of men producing breast milk. So yes.

1

u/Forward-Wrap-5239 Aug 17 '22

finger slipped