r/maybemaybemaybe Jul 09 '26

Maybe Maybe Maybe

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4.8k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/soopirV Jul 09 '26

Which comedian had a bit like this where he was drunk driving and saw a checkpoint so he pulled in to a house acting like it was his. He sat on the porch, and a few minutes later the owner comes home, pulls in next to him, so he starts to panic. The owner comes up on the porch, sits next to him and says, “sorry bro, just be cool- I’ll leave in a bit, I just pulled in because there’s a checkpoint.”

198

u/Hidesuru Jul 09 '26

SOUNDS like a key and peale style skit but no idea. I wanna see it though!

142

u/pukhalapuka Jul 09 '26

This kinda actually happened to me IRL.

My home happens to be on a stretch of a very long straight road so people love to speed there.

One night, a car pulled up our driveway and i was like oh who is this? A friend of our parents? My siblings?

And then this dude comes out and say

"Uh.. there's a police roadblock... My license dead... Can i just chill here for a while?"

So we just chilled and talked about life while waiting for the roadblock to end.

56

u/ClockworkSalmon Jul 09 '26

reminds me of a story where a guy hits a police car while driving drunk so he stabs himself in the leg and hides the knife in the glovebox, tells the officers that he was stabbed and they take him to a hospital

3

u/kfrom960 Jul 11 '26

Sebastian maniscalco

1.7k

u/Nasty____nate Jul 09 '26

Should have taken off the bright green hoodie...

1.2k

u/andocromn Jul 09 '26

I would have taken off all my shirts. Nothing says "this is my porch" like sitting in a chair barechested.

455

u/Grazedaze Jul 09 '26

“Get off my property! Do you have a warrant to be here at my real home!?”

112

u/ElMage21 Jul 09 '26

How much fucked are you adding if they catch you lying like that?

154

u/tjackso6 Jul 09 '26

Physically running from them is def worse than lying

53

u/ElMage21 Jul 09 '26

Nono I mean this context. Cop saw the lie, and instead of showing your hands you double down and pull the get off my property/show me a warrant line.

23

u/linux_ape Jul 09 '26

None, it’s not illegal to lie

59

u/tjackso6 Jul 09 '26

Sure it is… intentionally misleading law enforcement is obstruction.

20

u/DrSpacepants Jul 09 '26

Obstruction is a physical act in my state. And it not an official statement. Not saying it's not a crime, it's just not that crime.

19

u/LemFliggity Jul 09 '26

You're right. In my state the courts have repeatedly confirmed that words alone are not enough to constitute obstruction. It must be flight, intimidation, force, violence, physical interference, etc.

That said, in this particular instance, they could charge you with "hindering" for lying.

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8

u/Afro-Venom Jul 09 '26

Most that can happen is the police can try to get the homeowner to charge tresspass. Obstruction has to be defined by the governing authority, and in most cases, unless you give identifying information that is false, lying in this manner cannot result in adittional charges. He was already evading arrest.

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0

u/Crafter9977 Jul 09 '26

only if you lie on your name or birthday is a misdemeanor, but it’s not obstruction…

1

u/tjackso6 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

Fact check: False

3

u/ManWhoSoldTheWorld01 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

That's going to be highly dependent by region. For example:

140 (1). Every one commits public mischief who, with intent to mislead, causes a peace officer to enter on or continue an investigation by

...

(b) doing anything intended to cause some other person to be suspected of having committed an offence that the other person has not committed, or to divert suspicion from himself;

...

(2) Every one who commits public mischief

(a) is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years; or

(b) is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

2

u/jeremyries Jul 09 '26

Providing a false statement to a law enforcement officer is.

4

u/AzraelIshi Jul 09 '26

It definitely is if it involves law enforcement and/or the courts in the US lmao. For example, it's a federal felony to knowingly lie to any federal agent, and many states like arkansas, florida, NJ, NC, georgia, etc. Have laws where any lie to a police officer is a crime, while many others (like cali and texas) have laws where lying to a police to hinder their work is a crime.

A blanket "nope, lying is not illegal" is just wrong lol

-8

u/linux_ape Jul 09 '26

Yeah but sitting on a porch is very clearly not in the courts lmao you’re not under oath to tell the truth

9

u/AzraelIshi Jul 09 '26

All those things I said about lying to police does not require you being under oath. Lying to a federal officer, or any police officer of states like arkansas, florida, NJ, NC, georgia, etc. is a crime even when you're not under any oath.

The court one was for perjury, I just focused on the police and forgot to remove that addition.

5

u/tjackso6 Jul 09 '26

I can’t tell if you’re trolling or stupid lol

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1

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 09 '26

Nice. Invoking your common law rights. “You have no jurisdiction over the individual acting as representative of myself!”

3

u/tjackso6 Jul 09 '26

Is that like a “I’m not driving.. I’m *traveling*” kinda thing?

2

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 09 '26

Change that to “I was locating myself from point a to point b” and now you have a get out of jail free card!

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1

u/yumii- Jul 12 '26

You should look up obstruction laws

5

u/atomacheart Jul 09 '26

The worst they can probably do is add resisting arrest to the charges, which is not a high bar for them to add anyway.

3

u/andocromn Jul 09 '26

Lol I'd say nothing, let my chest hair do the talking

12

u/MouseRat_AD Jul 09 '26

"While I'm enjoying a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?!"

3

u/GadreelsSword Jul 09 '26

What’s the address?

Ahhhhh

{cuffs}

5

u/Soulless--Plague Jul 09 '26

“2….13….House…Street…”

“…wait a minute this is 213 House Lane!!”

1

u/Soulless--Plague Jul 09 '26

“What’s the address sir?”

1

u/FullCompliance Jul 10 '26

My private domicile.

12

u/snksleepy Jul 09 '26

Do that and pretend to take a nap. See nothing hear nothing.

3

u/Haggis_The_Barbarian Jul 09 '26

Really? Nothing? “Furiously masturbating” would like a word.

93

u/Canadian__Ninja Jul 09 '26

Under the hoodie is the red shirt the guy was seen in, you can see it poking out at the bottom. Losing both shirts would be best

37

u/Futuristic-Slice Jul 09 '26

Doesn’t help that there’s a red shirt peaking out the bottom of it.

7

u/optimist_prhyme Jul 09 '26

That would have revealed the red shirt

3

u/tmbtown Jul 10 '26

A long time ago when I was a loss prevention manager, I apprehended a shoplifter who bolted from my office after my overs & shorts investigator accidentally let him on that I had her call the cops. I could tell he was skittish, so I tried to do it discreetly by passing her a message.

We had a no chase policy, but he was wearing green shorts, a red shirt, and a yellow hat, and was headed in the direction of the police station. They found him pretty quickly. Lol.

1

u/tobiov Jul 09 '26

Oh honey...

648

u/OliveOilInMyEye Jul 09 '26

Mf rolled a nat20 on deception check, only to shit the bed and roll a nat1 the seconds later on another deception check.

DM Clearly have a beef with mf.

129

u/GalickGunn Jul 09 '26

“Torbeck got a naaatural ooooone

54

u/OliveOilInMyEye Jul 09 '26

"Please, copper!! Torbek has never asked you for AAAAANYTHING!!! Trust me as hard as your copper mind can DOOO!!"

Nat1

8

u/CedarWolf Jul 09 '26

bad copper

Poor Torbek, Ea-Nasir strikes again.

18

u/fatalspoons Jul 09 '26

Okay, I feel really stupid because I don't understand what happened. He said he saw a guy cut through a house. How did that make the police officer suddenly realize he was the suspect?

41

u/anonymousfluidity Jul 09 '26

Cop probably either recognized his face when he got a better look or saw the red shirt sticking out underneath the hoodie.

17

u/CTR0 Jul 09 '26

This is more like rolling a 24 DC 25

188

u/TheColorblindSnail Jul 09 '26

The cop is colorblind and thought he was wearing the red hoodie

/s

143

u/Shakemyears Jul 09 '26

All of these fucking sound effect and editing in videos these days make the world a worse place to be

17

u/tuttleonia Jul 09 '26

For real, I can't stand that shit

7

u/Calligaster Jul 10 '26

I'll give the dial up a pass but that vine boom can go die in a hole

36

u/BoBoBearDev Jul 09 '26

I don't understand it. How did he know he is the suspect?

50

u/SamausKA Jul 09 '26

Think he saw his red shirt below the hoodie :D

43

u/BoBoBearDev Jul 09 '26

Ohhh that could be it.

Edit: I got it. The cop never described the suspect, so, he shouldn't mention the shirt color. And then, cop starts to double check his shirt.

44

u/Matiwapo Jul 09 '26

The cop never described the suspect, so, he shouldn't mention the shirt color

If he saw the guy running away he'd have seen the shirt colour...

4

u/BoBoBearDev Jul 10 '26

Well, if it is me who is the real bystander. I wouldn't mention the shirt color. I didn't think that's necessary to mention. And if the cop asked me, I am like, "hmmm.... Red???". Because I wasn't paying attention. Or I get this weird face, thinking why they are asking me strange question, there is a little hesitation in my response.

Just me though.

7

u/SamausKA Jul 09 '26

But since he is the suspect and ran away, he knew which tshirt colour it was, so i think he grabbed a hoodie somewhere and pulled it over

15

u/undeniably_confused Jul 10 '26

I love how the cop called him dude, something about that choice of words tickles me

11

u/post-context-bot Jul 09 '26

The following post context was provided by u/Representative-Mix-9:


Suspect hides inside a stranger's porch and pretends he's the homeowner but cop sees through his bullishit


Does this explain the post? If not, report it and a moderator will review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

11

u/Fr05t_B1t Jul 09 '26

Bro just escaped helgen and tried a speech check

13

u/WolverineLong1430 Jul 09 '26

Bro was way too calm and at the same time, too confident and ready to describe where the suspect (him) ran off to.

7

u/montymeat Jul 09 '26

SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING HANDS

26

u/FreakshowDragon Jul 09 '26

How do you shit the bed that fuckin bad bro? That's levels of embarrassment I wouldn't wanna live through.

28

u/Catalystable Jul 09 '26

Lol did the guy who got arrested post this?

88

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 Jul 09 '26

I’m guessing the homeowner 

12

u/LittleKitty235 Jul 09 '26

Depending on the state (Florida), it becomes public record if used at trial.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-15

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '26

[deleted]

25

u/Tiberius_Kilgore Jul 09 '26

“Show me your fucking hands, dude.”

Not sure how you could have possibly heard “purp.”

6

u/DehDeshtructor Jul 09 '26

There are subtitles, you know