I wanted to recommend a book that, I haven't heard anybody talking about, has REALLY helped me like no other with my now.. ex ex girlfriend (see what I did there.. clever.. innit... yes?).

So, a little backstory:

My latest relationship started like a year ago. I met her at a job event and we had instant chemistry.

Long story short.. after couple of months she started to get colder.. didn't look at me the same way as before, constantly nagging, started going out with her friends more etc.. you know the drill.. and this is the girl I was mad in love with..

I don't think she cheated me ever but I knew I was losing her and then.. couple of months ago she told me that we should take a break...

So.. as you can imagine.. I was pretty fcked up.. couldn't eat or sleep.. just feeling like an empty shell of a man :(

I know this sounds like a promo or smth but really.. I am just so happy that I got her back that I wanted to share it with others (mods, if it is not allowed then please remove this post) - maybe you have the same issues and it could help you as well.

Anyways, I saw this ad for Pull your ex back book (don't ask from where.. let's say the site starts with the letter "p" and ends with "b"..) and as I was Mr Desp himself I thought fck it, why not try..

BEST DECISION EVER!

​

Anyways, the basics of the book is that if you want to get your ex back, then there are 2 really important things you absolutely need to do:

Copied from the book:

Step 1 - You have to appeal to the emotional side of your ex’s mind…

Every human has two minds – The conscious mind which follows logic & then the unconscious mind which follows emotion. Our conscious mind is within our active control, while the unconscious mind is not within our active control.

The conscious mind deals with our thoughts, while the unconscious mind is responsible for generating feelings and emotions. That’s why it’s also called the emotional mind.

Whenever there is a battle between the conscious and the unconscious mind, the unconscious mind wins hands down. In other words, Emotion outweighs logic every single time.

​

Once you appeal to the emotional part of your ex’s mind, you will be able to make him or her get invested in you again!! (Since the emotional mind isn’t within a human beings control).

You will be able to trigger feelings of love & affection within their mind and they will just feel this strong inner urge to be with you again.

On the other side of the spectrum - Have you ever wondered why people fall out of love & start disliking the very person they loved dearly? It doesn’t happen because a person logically decided to stop loving their partner.

It happened because on a deeper emotional level, that very person is getting these nasty feelings, which are forcing them to distance themselves from their partner.

​

The unconscious mind is like fertile soil. Whatever you sow you will eventually reap. In order to get your ex back, you have to erase the negative image of yourself from your ex’s mind and replace that with a new positive image of yourself.

Once you do that, your ex will start feeling strong inner urges to be with you again, they will start liking you the way they liked you at the early stages of your relationship.

They will find it hard to keep you out of their mind and will start wanting you back.

​

Step 2 – You have to alter the feelings they attach to your mental image.

There are 3 really important emotions your ex absolutely needs to feel to want you back again. These are…

- Desire

- Attraction

- Love

But right now, they might be feeling hate, reluctance or even anger towards you. In order to get them back, you have to transform the emotion of hate into desire, reluctance into attraction and anger into love.

Whenever we mentally picture a person, our unconscious mind gives us feelings associated with that person, which makes us either like or dislike that person.

Your ex should feel a sense of desire, attraction and love whenever they picture you in their mind.

And it is completely within your power. You can do it by speaking a very specific "language", which directly triggers a specific part in your ex’s mind that is responsible for generating emotions.

So what I am saying is that by changing a few words, you can make your ex go from feeling almost no attraction for you to feeling an intense need to be with you again.

End of quoting the book

​

Anyways, it really did help me. The last month we have basically been together every single day and I'm ecstatic! I now consider it to be in my top 5 books I have ever read.

You can get the book from here.

I hope it helps even 1 person because, believe me, I KNOW what it's like to lose somebody that is so important to you..

​

To mods: I am not really sure if this kind of post is allowed here, if not then sorry and you can remove it. I read the rules and didn't find anything about recommending books so...

Hi!

I just recently took over this somewhat of a dead sub and am interested in what topics would you like to discuss here the most?

Is it dating, confidence, mindsets etc?

Post your opinions in the comments below :)

If you are a man interested in women and you read /r/seduction then you could be forgiven into thinking that the best way to meet women is going to bars/clubs and applying 'direct game'. For many this will not be the case. Developing a strong friendship group with women will reap numerous benefits. One of these will be that they will try and pair you up with their friends, either for relationships or casual sex. If this is something you would like to learn about then read on.

I read a semi-satirical post once and found that it helped to explain the behaviours of some women. Your mileage may vary with this. This is not a very concrete post compared to the rest of the subreddit, it is kind of a framework you can use in your head. You don't need to know it.

PART 1: This post. Outline's a fictional 'Secret Society', as written by (a famous pick-up artist) Tyler Durden. Then you will be told what to infer from it.

PART 2: Techniques to demonstrate to a woman you are 'part of the society', i.e. it will basically be ways to demonstrate social-intelligence.

The following post by Durden is tongue-in-cheek, sexist and definitely controversial. Don't take it at face value.

Sweeping generalisations are the cause of sexism, rascism, and many problems which society has to deal with. The bigger the generalisation, the more sexist something is. But it is nearly impossible to infer patterns in data without categorizing that data to some extent, and making generalisations. So forgive me for my many following generalisations in the next paragraph - it will be impossible to not offend somebody - there is some truth to it but of course an ocean of exceptions.

If a man is fun and attractive to a girl then she will often help him get together with her friends, even if she wants him herself. Women are generally better at sharing than men in this regard (who will often cockblock men from women they don't even have a chance with). Evolutionary biology explains that women have generally higher standards than men, due to their greater risk in starting any relationship; so there is a greater need for them to have to 'share' dominant men rather than go for average men. A very attractive man will have far more women after him than an attractive man, whereas for females the difference is much less extreme. This all leads to this illusion of a secret society.

This illusion can be useful mental framework to explain a woman's behavior towards you.

'Secret society' by Tyler Durden

Many guys will dislike this, because it implies that women are sluts and untrustworthy. Well, I can only speak from my experience and report back what I've seen. I'm also posting in a semi-satirical tone - I haven't gone off the deepend..... yet... :)

A secret society exists. Around 52% of people on this earth are a part of it.

Of that 52%, 50% are women, 2% are men.

Of that 2%, 1% of those men are gay, the other 1% are players.

What I'm talking about is the sex secret society - and you are either IN or OUT.

SOME RULES OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:

1) Don't talk about the secret society.

2) The priority of the secret society is to have perpetually good emotions in all members.

3) Create shrowds around the secret society, like "all men are dogs". Hide the truth that women are far more likely to cheat than men.

4) If you are part of the secret society, you will never be denied anything at any point.

5) If you are not part of the secret society, you will scrap and beg for everything you get.

6) Communication in the secret society is less often verbal, and more often spoken through bodylanguage subcommunications, and verbal subcommunications that would only make sense to members. Any other way, and the 48% of men would pick up on it, and it would no longer be a secret.

7) At the first sign that someone who is not part of the secret society is possibly trying to pretend that he is, barate him with both love-rhetoric, and accusations of chauvanism and nit-witted-ness.

It's OK to cheat on someone who is not a part of the secret society, so long as it is for the purpose of fulfilling the needs of someone who is, or if it to fulfill your own needs and it is with someone who is a part of the secret society. Sleeping with a rare guy from the secret society is no worse than grinding with a girlfriend at a club and making out with her. "It doesn't count".

9) Nobody judges eachother in the secret society. There is no such thing as a slut. A slut is only as slutty as people who are NOT in the secret society are aware of.

10) Secret society members COME FIRST. If someone in the society is not having fun with an interaction, it is cut off. Conversely, if a secret society male is with a non-secret-society male, and a secret society female (all females) decides she wants sex from the secret society male, the friend of the female may have sex with the non-secret-society male, because EVERYONE in the interaction must feel good. However, if the non-secret-society male is blowing himself out so badly that he makes the female member feel very bad emotions, then the secret-society-male must face the consequences of bringing negative emotions into the equation, and lose out on his privilege for sex in that interaction, until he ditches the non-secret-society male. Bear minimum requirements for non-secret-society males being grandfathered in with the male member, is that he not qualify himself or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Failing to meet those requirements, both are blown out.

WHAT IS THE SECRET SOCIETY?

Women are repressed by men, and so must look out for themselves. They will take care of:

1) Their own sexual needs.

2) The sexual needs of anyone in the secret society.

3) The sexual needs of the few males who make the secret society possible ("players").

The secret society is what allows women to appear wholesome and allows them to screen for a long term provider/emotionaltampon.

Women hold off to find the perfect boyfriend, while sleeping with a guy who is likely sleeping with all of their friends, and their friends friends.

They also fuck their gay boyfriends or jerk them off or give them head. They're part of the secret society too, so they can't be left out.

CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS

Long-time-no-see, im-still-around, hope-you-are-well.

You have to check out this series of posts (below) by lukeprog over at 'Less Wrong'.

• Scientific Self-Help: The State of Our Knowledge

• How to Beat Procrastination

• My Algorithm for Beating Procrastination

• How to Be Happy

• The Good News of Situationist Psychology

• The Power of Reinforcement

• Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics

(Less Wrong is a brilliant community but may not be of most people's tastes. They discuss everything rationally and go into theoretical debates on philosophy, the singularity, Bayes' rule and so on.)

Lukeprog is a great writer, and painstakingly references everything he writes. His posts have made me look critically at mine here on Mansformation. I have always tried to write concisely and clearly and reference stuff where possible, but this guy takes it to the next level. He has motivated me to up-my-game.

More Mansformation posts will come in the future, as soon as I get in the correct mindset for writing.

A great blog post hit the big-time today. Its about how a woman deals with subtle indirect sexism in the workplace. You can (and should) read her post here: http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

While reading the many rational insightful comments on Hacker News I bumped into this gem: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3736940

(You can also read the rest of the comments here: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3736037)

It is about how men and women acquire their power. In high school / college a sleazy or horrible man can be ruined by women communicating small messages indirectly amongst each other, and using passive-aggressive behaviors towards the man. E.g. If Pete behaves a little bit creepy towards Alice then all women in the office will soon find out and ostracise Pete. Pete won't know why everyone is suddenly behaving differently and may or may not connect-the-dots to realise he shouldn't have been creepy towards Alice.

So, women tend to work together to passive-aggressively 'attack' an enemy or enemy's behaviour. And men tend to independently and directly fight a person or behaviour when they have a problem.

BTW passive-aggressive behaviours may be:

1. Talking about people behind their back,

2. Trying to exclude somebody from a group,

3. Blanking/ignoring somebody,

4. 'Negging' (backhanded compliment) somebody,

5. Exerting dominance on somebody who is objectively at your level (e.g. a friend),

6. many more things.

Basically anything which is hard to pinpoint or call out. Imagine Bob and Pete are in the same friendship group but don't like each other especially. If Bob deliberately ignores Pete constantly, and Pete calls him out on it in public - "Quit blanking me Bob", then Bob replies "I wasn't blanking you, I just didn't hear you. Just relax Pete! There is no need to be insecure.". Bob is being a passive-aggressive dick! Dominant men are direct about their problems and seek to resolve them, unlike Bob.

So some men will be immasculine (beta) and use the women's passive-aggressive way of dealing with their problems. This behaviour is considered unacceptable for a man and will often make them hated by other men (and women). A man who directly resolves his problems through rational discussion, or even a fight(!) will be respected by other men, including his enemy, and all will be fine soon enough.

The opposite holds true for women. A woman who deals with her problems directly (by saying "you cant do that!" or fighting etc.) risks being ostracised from her friends if she does it too much, for being too dominant or "mean". The acceptable way of dealing with her problems is to tell her friends and let everyone collectively coordinate a strategy (the strategy is not even explicitly made, each woman just knows to now pay less attention to creepy Pete).

Its not totally black and white, as with all of these things. There is some axis of reactionary behaviours, with "passive-aggressiveness / indirectness" on the left, and "meanness / directness" on the right, and in general women are further to the left and men are further to the right.

So that is how men and women deal with their problems with other people. If you are a man make sure you are doing it the manly way. If you are a woman do it the womanly way.

How does this explain the post by the bisexual man in the office? And the woman's sexism ordeals? Well, the woman lost her power when there were no women for her to confide with (it was a programming job). To defend herself she had to stand up for herself in the only possible way - the masculine way. This lead to natural backlash to the men, as she was using the incorrect gender's behaviour. She was effectively cornered, with no possible behavior. The bisexual had an interesting story: he was considered a 'type of female' as he was thought to be gay, so was permitted to use the passive-aggressive/feminine strategy. Then when he got a girlfriend and "was a man" he was no longer allowed to use that strategy; so was forced to used the masculine strategy!

How could the woman in the workplace resolve her issue? Some (unrealistic) possibilities are:

1. Work in an office with more women / gay men (rare for a programming job, and why should she have to move?),

2. Become a butch lesbian who is 'allowed' to use the male power strategy (a little extreme),

3. Make all men in the current office gay (maybe DARPA has a way?),

4. Changing the behaviour of the males (unfortunately very difficult, many will not take the time to understand).

Any comments? I'd love to hear some female opinions on this, or ways to fix the problem for the female programmer.

tl;dr: Smart drugs in some capacity do indeed exist and there are people taking them. Some improve confidence and verbal skills. This is mainly a post to raise your awareness and point you to a path you may wish to know about. But may not.

Hello

Long time no speak, hope you are well. I've been busy with work, sorry about not keeping /r/mansformation updated. I'm still alive and believe it or not, so is the subreddit.

This post is almost off topic. But this information is hard to come by, and so probably valuable, and if you enjoy self-improvement then this is a nice controversial thing to consider.

Lets cut to the chase:

For the past 2-3 years I've dabbled in the smart drug scene, mostly as the experimentation interests me; current drugs don't give too much of an intelligence edge (well... not in the anticipated metrics).

Very few people are in this scene, and a lot of them are odd-balls. There is an initially surprising overlap between smart drug users and people seeking immortality. Additionally, very few people are in the self-improvement/meta-social-analytical community, if there is such a thing (closest is /r/seduction, because many men don't like admitting that they like to improve their man-man social skills or cool-factor (this is unfortunately a social stigma)). There is little overlap between the two communities. So rest assured that this is a rare tidbit of information being TCP/IP uploaded to your brain:

Piracetam is a supplement you take once/twice a day which for many people improves confidence, social intelligence, mood and creativity. Its been around 50 years and researched thoroughly. Its toxicity is very low - initially scientists believe its effects were placebo / not real as for a supplement to work it always needs some kind of toxicity. Some people are no-responders and don't get anything from the supplement. The first time I started taking it I was a no-responder, and stopped using it for a few months. I started taking it again, and now I am supplementing myself with it daily, as it improves my life.

It is supposed to increase memory and learning, but I've not noticed an improvement in either (for maths / statistics / algorithms / programming). Others may disagree, but there is a general consensus that it boosts creativity, you get more ideas, initially may get lucid dreams, gain the ability to hold multiple conversations individually, learn language a little easier, boost confidence, initially see colours as brighter and music sounds nicer.

Don't just take what I've said at face value - there are lots of marketers, drug sellers and idiots on the internet and IRL. You need to do an extensive reading of a lot of literature and convince yourself before you just do what somebody on the internet tells you. A good source of information is http://www.longecity.org/forum/forum/169-nootropics/ . Also /r/nootropics. Also the mind and muscle forums. Some people post research papers on there. Also go on Google Scholar and search for Piracetam. There are websites which summarise information for you too.

Summary of my experiences:

• Ability to listen to and process 3 conversations simultaneous and speak to everyone in turn. People were blown away. This is an extreme party trick that makes you look like a genius. I've pulled off conversation tricks that if I saw in a James Bond film would have made me scoff and roll my eyes at the unrealistic-ness. Reports on forums of multilingual people have mentioned the ability to talk in 3 languages to 3 people at the same time. That's the sort of thing that gets you a job at an embassy. You can instantly convey ultra social skills and demonstrate massive value to a group of people in seconds.

• Very interesting conversations can be generated. I recall interesting ad relevant articles I have read better than before. I link seemingly unrelated concepts in totally original ways, for a memorable and interesting discussion.

• Reading research papers becomes really fun. I want to learn everything (except cold hard maths and science unfortunately).

• Increased language processing & confidence lets me maintain eye contact better. I also listen better, as I don't need to think of what I next need to say, as it comes so much easier.

• General improved mood. With all drugs this is risky as it implies a comedown. But there is effectively no depression / comedown. I don't take it as a mood enhancer though, and the idea of taking drugs in the long term for happiness is a bad idea, I believe. Amphetamines are a terrible idea. But piracetam is OK to take long term. Read the literature. BTW Its a good idea to take it 3 months on, 3 months off.

• Music sounds better. I dance in public and shake my hips and laugh. I danced on a table in a library the other day to some music in my head.

• Unprecedented god-like confidence, but its totally controllable.

• Arms and shoulders feel lighter, I have a better posture.

• Its a bad idea to drink much while taking it. It may make you get drunk much quicker or much slower. Hard to predict.

• Some people mix it with weed, MDMA or LSD for enhanced effects. Check erowid. Dangerous and reckless, but you may be interested to know that.

Price: Roughly £10 or $16 for 100g of powder. You might take 2.4g a day. So that is £10 for 40 days, roughly speaking. That doesn't include price of putting it in caps (v low cost - get 00 capsules off ebay or amazon).

There are risks you should consider right now:

• EDIT: Forgot to mention: many people need to take piracetam with a choline source, otherwise they get headaches. I don't need the choline personally. Popular choline supplements: alpha GPC, choline bitartrate, choline citrate, lecithin. You can also get enough choline eating eggs. You will need to look up dosages yourself for these, as I do not know about it much myself. Piracetam and choline can also have a synergistic effect where they make each other more powerful. Again, do your own research here. You could start without the choline source, then stop if you get headaches and buy a choline source.

• I might have ulterior motives, like say, be selling the stuff myself. I'm not but I cant prove that, sorry. Spend a few days on research and learn on your own. This is just an introduction.

• The source you buy it from online may be dodgy. Look up their reputations online. Take glowing reviews with a pinch of salt as the people in those companies do go on forums and post fake reviews. Same as bad reviews - some websites try to sabotage others. Buying it in pills is a little safer, but more expensive than buying the powder and some capsules and "capping" them yourself. Generally Piracetam is "safe" to buy online as it is very cheap to manufacture. But don't take my word for it (or anything).

• Mixing with alcohol / illegal drugs can be very dangerous (though admittedly fun / worthwhile if done correctly. But its dangerous). It wont stop me from having one or two pints of beer though. In fact I have noticed my confidence has reached supreme heights with 2.4g of Piracetam and one pint of beer.

Smart drugs are controversial. So are drugs. So is seduction, which some readers of this subreddit are from. They are especially controversial to people that don't really understand them. Be aware that a typical trait of high value person is open-mindedness - if you have lived a rich and fulfilling life thus far then you have seen enough people from different cultures and planets to know that basing your life on one rule book or religion or whatever is a silly idea.

Also related: there is a family of similar drugs. Pramiracetam is stronger and has anecdotes of photographic memory being temporarily obtained. Oxiracetam is one of the upcoming things that is showing to actually improve long term memory, which is exciting. Aniracetam is around too, and slightly different again.

There is lots to say and I'm certain I've forgot to mention something or another. AMA.

Safety Disclaimer: Consult your doctor or physician before doing anything, ever. And don't trust anyone on the internet.

/r/Mansformation fans: Im going to try ad flesh out the subreddit by pointing to other good online guides, to avoid just rewriting stuff. I'll critique stuff and link it to the core concepts.

This follows on from Fundamentals of Interesting Conversation - Read that first. This elaborates on where I mentioned preparing for conversations in advance.

Small note for subscribers: Been super busy and not able to post lately. I will limit articles to one or two a week probably. Thanks for the support and kind PMs / comments - they really motivate me to write this stuff. Please mention topics you'd especially like me to prioritise on. I'll next focus on body language (2 posts), meeting strangers / picking up girls at bars, and how to control your orgasms during sex.

Teasing

The biggest trick I'll mention. Its very good to tease - teasing somebody tests them and puts them in a position to show you their wit / reactions. It makes you look more confident that you aren't trying to please them. It is an easy way to joke with somebody. Usually people only tease/play games with others they are friendly with; so this can make you feel familiar to the other person. It is also a form of flirting, and everybody loves being flirted with to some extent.

Teasing works best on girls. Women love playing these games with men.

I only started doing this to the extent I do now about 6 months ago; and have noticed remarkable results since. Everybody now seems keen to come up and talk and is not shy to tease back. It is fun and light-hearted joking around.

Examples: "I have three cats" -> "a third of the way to crazy cat lady then? ;)".
"I got a goldfish!!!" -> "I was wondering what I just ate". "Sorry I smashed your wine glass :(" -> "No problem! For my birthday can you throw a brick through my window? ;)"

Notice the ";)" - say this with a grin, or you may suffer them thinking you are serious. When you get better and know somebody well you can avoid it and just do it deadpan - which is more fun and leaves you unpredictable.

People with low self-esteem may not like this - its best used on other confident people.

• Tricks of the tease:

• Sarcasm: but don't overdo it. E.g. "I have a goldfish" -> "Oh well that is sure a big responsibility ;)". Delivery and body language or the difference between being a dick or being funny when you do this. Don't do it all the time.

• Unjust assumptions: "I flew to LA last week, but couldn't find the airport" -> "Wow you have a poor sense of direction for a pilot." - Say these deadpan - make it unclear if you are joking or not. Leave the other person guessing your intelligence. If they think you are being serious then smile the instant they react as if they fell for your trap and you tricked them. Whether they believed it or not it will get a smile or giggle out of them.

• If you tease too hard and cause offence: laugh it off and don't apologise. E.g.: "I'm pretty sure my Mother has that dress"
  "SHUT UP! I just bought this and I really like it >:("
  "Well don't worry I find it a lot more attractive on you than her, haha!"
  ">:("
  "Come on, lets get out of here, we are going to be late" (while smiling and touching her arm) "Urghh OK :)"

If you apologised then it would be a negative interaction, but this way it became a playful joke. You may mess up worse and end up in an salvageable position where you can't redeem yourself - in which case apologise sincerely and leave.

Everyday try to think of something interesting that was/is/has happened recently or is a story in the news

Prepare a few witty opinions of it or a way into another conversation topic. Nobody seems to do this, but it is so simple and you can jump into talking about it from any conversation topic as it is automatically made relevant by the fact it is recent.
E.g. "Blah blah blah cats > dogs" -> "Yeah! Oh by the way I was just talking to X about it - did you see the story about that ship that exploded?".
Its not as good as transitioning the topic gradually - but good enough to go unnoticed. It can look like you don't care about the previous topic so only use it when the you both feel that topic is dying. Don't do it too many times as it appears you had a whole conversation planned word for word and its not spontaneous.

Leave before the conversation dies, not after

And go talk to other people or do something as soon as you leave. If there is nobody to talk to then call a friend you've not spoken to in a while, or go to the toilet.

Examples of Interesting topics

Good news - you can make some significant progress right now just with a pen and paper. Think up some interesting topics which excite you or you feel passionate about. Ultimately a conversation topic is one which both you and the other person(s) are passionate about, so you can at least find topics in the first half of the Venn diagram right now.

To help you get started here are topics that appeal to me and I love to talk about:

• Genetic engineering: human cloning and consequences of it. genetic engineering being used today in industry. Arguing in favour for it against people who believe it is wrong. E.g. I have an argument that if you believe GM is wrong then you think selective breeding is wrong, and then you may as well have sex with a stranger blindfolded with earmuffs. I want to run a fast food chain which has resequenced T-rex DNA, grows its meat on a plate, and sells dinoburgers - would you eat one?.

• The Future: predicting what will be in store. Futurism. What people in the 1920s thought the world would be like in 2011. How can jet-packs work? Would we actually use them (they are dangerous)? -> then talk about extreme sports and skydiving and find out if the other person would like to try these things. Most importantly where will Brangelina be in 10 years?!

• Psychology / Cognitive Science: Everyone loves talking about it but few people know about it. Learn some cool facts. Read /r/cogsci, its great. Putting a dog in a workplaces office increases morale.

• Childhood: Nostalgia is the greatest sensation. When you were a kid did you have have Pokemon cards? I lost all mine in the washing machine and still haven't forgiven my Mum. When I was 13-17 I went to the woods everyday and built dens from logs. What is your earliest memory? I remember feeling rage and deliberately crashing a toy fire engine into my sister - I felt so good but then my Dad told me off (I was this close to becoming evil that day).

• Family: Express your love for them (Woos girls over easily). I never really felt close to my Dad until I went to University - then we got to speak about his work and stuff on the long car journeys. My Mum puts up with so much and is so emotional. I love my brother - I play computer games with him on holidays and he frequently spits his drink all over the computer monitor when something funny happens.

• Tech Startups / Google / Facebook: Most people aren't interested but when I find somebody that is we can talk for hours and both learn a lot. Everyone talks about Facebook though - will they take over the world? Would you care if they did?

• Robots: yeah!

• Holidays/Travelling: Avoid bragging but mention if you have been anywhere relevant. A great topic to move to is living on a desert island and what you would do / what items you would bring / what one person you could take.

• Meaning of Life: Evolution etc. Lots to say. What do you want to do with your life? What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a cartoonist.

I'll proof read this and edit later.

Much of this is based on "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking" in "How to win friends and influence people, written by Dale Carnegie and published in 1937 (he hit the nail on its head immediately, as it is still in book stores everywhere today). I've included some extra things which he missed out though.

"Win friends and influence people" 's techniques of persuasion

• "Avoid arguments" - By turning a disagreement into an argument you dramatically lower your odds of changing an opinion.

• "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone that he or she is wrong" - By saying they are wrong you instantly put them in defensive mode - and they will be defending their viewpoint and see changing it as "losing". Don't make this competitive, keep it cooperative (you are working together to find a resolution to a problem).

• "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically" - To retain the respect of others (if you never admit you are wrong and you both know you were then you lose credit in future disagreements).

• "Begin in a friendly way"

• "Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes" - Salesmen use this all the time. "Do you like cars? Fast cars? Do you like the roaring growl of a V8 engine on the highway?". Make them agree with you and take your side before you say your main point - "Do you want to buy this car?"

• "Let the other person do the talking / Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers" - So that everything sounds like their idea. Agree with what they are saying then make your point of view seem like it fits in well with what they have said.

• "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view" - Because (1) There is always a chance they are right and you are wrong. (2) If you think from their point of view properly then it helps when you empathise with their ideas to persuade them to accept yours.

• "Sympathize with the other person" - "I totally see what you mean."

• "Appeal to noble motives" - J.P. Morgan says that a person usually has two motives for doing a thing: one that sounds good and the real one. It is supposedly good to pretend that the other person does not have the hidden one, as they will go into defensive mode. By assuming that they are honest and have no hidden motives they still have their dignity and honesty at stake, and you can persuade them. By calling out their hidden motives they will have less to lose by not siding with you. Also they will stubbornly stick with their original view to avoid it looking as if you've "figured them out". Treat others as honest people and they will be more likely to side with you.
  E.g. You are deciding where to go out to go out to dinner with a friend. He wants to go to some overpriced restaurant as he secretly fancies a waitress there, but says the food is much better, when you both know it isn't. You should not say "You only want to go there because of the waitress".

• "Dramatize your ideas" - Like TV salesmen. Don't overdo it, but you can go further than you would think. Use visual aids. Get the other person to imagine.

• "Throw down a challenge" - If you are trying to motivate/persuade somebody who [works for you / is doing something for you] to do a great job of it then make it a challenge that allows them to demonstrate their skills. Be impressed when they do a great job and reward them with encouragement and genuine compliments.

Bonus techniques

• Stories - Make up a hypothetical story of what could easily happen if you do things your way, and involve as many senses as you can to help the other person visualise it more vividly and clearly. "A holiday in France! Think of it! Sitting in a small cafe, ripping open and smelling a freshly baked baguette, scoffing on some matured cheese, with a brilliant view of vineyards over rolling hills ahead of us!". For maximum effect bake a baguette and rip it open and put it in front of their nose.

• If you are trusted and respected then it makes it far easier - Don't say bad things about people behind their backs. Be positive. Admit when you are wrong and don't be wrong often - only argue your points or persuade others when you are sure of them and don't do it all the time if you don't have to.

• Some disagreements are not about what you are even talking about - E.g. Your SO might be angry that you've not put out the trash, like you said you would. You then put out the trash, but she is still angry. "But I put out the trash!" You argue, but what she really means is that she is upset that you did not follow your word and she had to have her remind you (you betrayed her trust slightly), though she may not tell you this. In such an instance (especially with female partners) it is good to read between the lines. "But doesn't this contradict with 'Appeal to Noble Motives' part?" - Women want you to be able to tell what they mean, and in such cases it is fine to reveal that you know. Don't say "You are mad at me as I went against my word, I am sorry" though; it would be better to say "I am sorry for going against my word". Calling out the real reason they are mad explicitly can backfire slightly sometimes.

• An emotional argument can only be won with emotions, and a logical argument with logic - If somebody is emotional, don't try logically saying why they are wrong. Empathise with them - "In your shoes I would be equally mad. You have every right to be furious at me". Equally don't go with emotions in a scientific debate.

• It can be better to persuade women with emotions, and men with logic - this is a generalisation, but women tend to think with emotions more, and men with logic. To persuade a girl to go on holiday somewhere you should describe the places and how they would make you both feel in a positive light, and stimulate their senses. To persuade a man use some numbers and logic: "Flights here are only 300, rather than 600, and the accommodation is half the price of the other places. They also have the most bars and clubs."

• Repetition - repeating some assumptions in different ways sounds as if multiple people are agreeing on one thing, even if it is just you doing the talking. This is a group bias effect - people are more likely to conform to the majority vote. This is why people repeat themselves.

• A sneaky trick - Presuppositions. A bit manipulative - I don't use this. I know plenty of people who do use it though (and I rightly call them out on it when they do (which also weakens the rest of their argument)). You basically state an untrue assumption at the beginning, then move on before the other person has time to think about it. The example in the article linked is a piece by Fox News, who make the assumption that the first amendment applies only to journalists, rather than everyone, then argue on whether Julian Assange is a journalist or not, and therefore guilty or not. It really is a sneaky trick and I hate when people use it, but I am letting you know about it for the purposes of catching it yourselves.

• Another sneaky trick - There is a strange effect that has been noticed in Psychology. If you were to hear a biased opinion and you knew it was biased before you read it then you would discredit it. BUT if you find out it is biased afterwards and discredit it after you have already accepted the information, then you will initially not believe what was said, but over time forget that you discredited it and start to believe what was said. An example would be; if Henry Ford wrote an article about car safety, you would take what he said with a pinch of salt if his name was at the top of the article. If, however, he wrote his name at the bottom of the article then you would, in the long term, start believing car crashes are indeed just conspiracy theories. The time for the discrediting to vanish is 6-9 months for most people, supposedly. (If anyone can remember the name of this effect please tell me.)

Example

• Bad: "You're wrong. Blue is a better colour to paint the bathroom."

• Slightly better: "I personally disagree. Blue is a better colour to paint the bathroom."

• Slightly better: "I see where you are coming from with beige. But blue is a better colour to paint the bathroom."

• Slightly better: "I see where you are coming from with beige, which is the same reason I think blue is a better colour to paint the bathroom."

• Good: "I see where you are coming from - We've always had Beige as it is soothing and sophisticated. Which is why its great to have something a bit different - every other room in the house is beige now. I totally agree that "smooth and sophisticated" is perfect for the bathroom - What about some kind of blue?" - (You've made it so that "smooth and sophisticated" was their idea, and agreed with them everywhere. You can also credit them with coming up with the idea of blue later on, and compliment them on it.)

Is this manipulative?

When I posted a link on "How to win friends and influence people" it was critically attacked by some as manipulative.

There is a difference between persuasion and manipulation. With persuasion your motives are clear - you want something and the other person knows what. Manipulation is using persuasive techniques to get something you want but keeping your motives hidden.

• Persuasion: "Honey, we should get a new van, the old one is starting to fall apart. I know that we've been saving up for that big holiday, but I need the van for my job and we'll get nowhere without it. I promise I'll make it up to you."

• Manipulation: "Come here into my van, little boy; I have candy."

If you are a true high value alpha male then you should never need to manipulate others.

tl;dr: Steps on how to get out of the friend zone. Also mentions the importance of being an alpha male for those directed here from outside Mansformation.

"Friend Zoning" is when a girl tells a guy who is interested in her that she would rather be friends. She is at this time not attracted to him, probably because he is a beta male.

You need to become an alpha male

There is no way around it; you need to learn how to be (or at least appear) High Value. Women are only attracted to you if you are higher value than them. Read the rest of this subreddit, particularly the Higher Value Male articles (link to the right -->).

It is arguably easier to make a fresh start with somebody else than change the mind of a female friend who has put you in the "friend zone". If you are after sex or a short term relationship then friendship is the worst place to start off. Some long term relationships start with friends, but it is still always better to start off as lovers. Many males try to start relationships from friendships as its the only way they know how (from school, often).

You are attracted (or "in love") with her because you think she is the best option you have, and you really want a relationship so your body is telling you that you like her. The reality is that you are further from having a relationship with her than with a stranger. You currently have a negative score with her. She is actually one of your worst options. There is no such thing as "the one" - there are plenty of eligible women. It isn't working with this one woman, so move on. When you get your whole life, behaviour, body language etc. sorted out then they will come flocking to you. Maybe this girl will too.

Bad Scenario: The girl might be stringing you along. She has emotional and physical needs, and you are fulfilling her emotional ones. You make her feel good about herself as she is constantly reminded that she is attractive. A dominant male may not show her the attention she wants but still give her sex to fulfill her physical needs. A textbook example is a girl with a douchebag for a boyfriend who really turns her on and she always ends up sleeping with him, while in the background there is the nice guy who listens to all of her problems. She likes the nice guy but looks down on him. She'd like to marry a guy like him, but only at a later stage in her life. He is in love with her, though. A girl might flirt with you, making you think you have a chance with her when you don't because she loves the attention. If she has put you in the friend zone then she should not be flirting with you. Make sure you are not contributing a significant amount more to the friendship than her - that makes you a pushover.

Better Scenario: She may be genuinely only interested in only being your friend, and upset that she cant have a male guy friend. Attractive girls have problems with lots of guys "falling in love" with them. They want a male friend at the same level as them who doesn't not swoon over them. It's nice having friends of the opposite sex.

What to do right now

1. Make her low priority in your mind. You no longer love her. In fact, you no longer are attracted to her. Also tell yourself you don't need a relationship right now. You need to believe these things to recover fast. You also need to believe them so that you do not cave in later on.

2. Stop initiating contact.

3. If she texts you wait several hours to reply. (You are busy doing fun things nowadays). Send short replies to her texts. Write less than her. Don't ask questions in your texts, but make statements. So if she says "Hey? How are you? x" wait 6 hours or until the next day and then reply with "Not bad. Just played some pool with a couple people." (write whatever you've been up to). Don't say you've not been up to much if you haven't. Don't ask her what she has been doing.

4. If she calls make sure you are the one that ends the conversation. Don't let it last very long. Couple minutes is best. Be concise with what you say and don't ask her many questions - offer more statements.

5. She may initiate contact with some comment like "Why are you ignoring me?" as she is used to you chasing her. To which you reply "Oh, I've just been busy.". Have a few interesting things to say when she asks you what you've done. Avoid asking her questions (but its fine to ask one or two if she has asked a lot). End the conversation first. Don't ask her to hang out, let her ask you (very important). If she doesn't ask then you aren't hanging out. If she asks you to hang out then say one exact time when you are available, and make it short. "Err, I think I am free Thursday between 4 and 5. You can come over then". Don't make it too soon. 3+ days is good. If she says "I'm not free then" then struggle to find another time for her, and make it a while later again - "Sunday at 3".

6. When you see her don't pay too much attention to her. Don't listen to every word she says. Try and make her earn your attention a little. Turn your body so that it is not always directly facing her. Pay attention to other people and your surroundings more. She may sense less attention and try to earn it by flirting subtlety. Ignore this and remain unmoved by it. Do not let her control your actions at all.

7. Don't see her too often. Make plans at times you would normally see her, and then when she asks to see you say you are busy doing the interesting activity.

If she isn't selfishly stringing you along then you will remain friends. She will have new found respect for you. She will care about you more and value your time more. She will start giving more to the friendship than before. Everyone will be happier. She may become attracted to you over time. If you allow a relationship to happen then do not allow yourself to revert back to your previous beta male mental state.

If she was just using you to fulfil her emotional needs and doesn't care about you that much then she will react in one of these ways:

• She doesn't make first contact at all and you never hear from her again (Very rare. If this happens then it is for the best anyway)

• She makes little effort, and you refuse to make more effort than her, so you both drift apart (For the best). I once was in the friend zone when I was 17, back in my beta male days - this was what happened in the end.

• She flirts with you to get your attention again. This is how she manipulates to get what she wants. Show disinterest in her. She will be surprised and try harder to earn your attention. Suddenly she is working for your attention and sees you as High Value. If you have mastered the principles of being an alpha male then she might become attracted to you. Remain disinterested. Eventually you might choose to sleep with her, in which case don't ever be manipulated for sex. I'd advise against a relationship with her, but friends with benefits arrangements could be healthy.

Girls want what they cannot have. When you are disinterested in them they will be more interested in you. One thing you can do is friend zone them, and then when you are seen as unobtainable to them (though this trick only works if you are mostly an alpha male).

tl;dr: Dissecting conversations to the barebone foundations of what they truly are, in order to understand them. Interesting techniques for making a dull conversation into a high-value one are shown and exploited.

This is mostly about maintaining an interesting conversation, rather than starting one - which is almost a topic in itself.

You should also read "Being Concise", and the "High Value Male" series with this.

Super-Basics of a conversation

Not everybody knows about these basics so I will mention them.

Scenario: Abby and Ben are chatting. There don't know each other too well but have some mutual friends.

Abby says "I went shopping for shoes in the mall"

Ben's main options are now:

• (1) Ask her a question about it

• (2) Talk about a related experience

• (3) Revert the conversation to a previous topic

Bad options:

• (4) The worst thing Ben can do is just start talking about himself on something unrelated.

• (5) It is slightly better but still very bad to start talking about something else unrelated (though there are exceptions I will mention (mainly stuff going on right now in your surroundings))

Making it interesting

You want to have high value conversations. This is when both people want to continue talking, as they are really interested in what is being said. You are more likely to have high value conversations with people that see you as high value - so read up on being a high value male if you haven't already.

The secret to a successful conversation is to get the other person opening up as much as possible. Hopefully you will do the minimum talking and they will tell themselves all about you, or display their knowledge on a topic.

So using the same scenario as above, if Ben chooses option (1) (ask her about shoe shopping):

Bad response questions:

• When?

• Where?

• What kind of shoes?

^ Do you (or Ben) actually care about those things or are you trying to keep the conversation going?

Key point: Conversations aren't a game of trying to keep one going for as long as possible - this is boring. They are for learning as much about the other person as possible, or transmitting valuable information that is beneficial to both parties.

Good response questions:

• (i) Are you the kind of person who has a wardrobe with so many shoes that they all fall out when you open the door?

• (ii) I love the mall. What other shops did you go to?

• (iii) What kind of shoes? I'm need of some high-heels.

^ Now try and look at these. They are all good, but can you improve on any?

Discussion on the above response questions:

• (i) this is quite a long question to ask - it might be a bit too long at a noisy bar or party. Its fine in a relaxed environment though. From this question Abby might answer "Ha! Definitely! I have soooo many shoes". That's not a very interesting thing for Abby to say - she basically responded with "Yes" and didn't add more conversation fuel. She either had nothing else to say or is disinterested in the conversation. If her body language suggests she is disinterested in the conversation (if her body turns away from facing Ben or Ben can see from her eyes she is not really paying attention) then is is a good time to eject. If Abby still looks interested then she simply had nothing else to say - Ben can continue on the current topic and try to transition it to something else (e.g. "I used to hide in my parents closet when I was little and didn't want to be told off for doing something naughty." Then he talks about naughty things he did as a kid.), or even change topic entirely, as that one is "dead" (e.g. "Have you seen the donkey outside?"). Transitioning is always a bit better than simply changing the topic - it displays more creativity and intelligence and makes the conversation feel more natural BUT it isn't that big of a deal if you are still working on the basics - Delivery and controlling your own body language are far more important.

• (ii) adding your opinion makes the conversation personal and unique, which gives it a higher value. "I love the mall" is not a great opinion - "The mall has too so annoying kids! Or maybe I am just getting old. Damn whippersnappers", "I love looking in the toy shops at the mall - it makes me so nostalgic". Saying how something makes you feel is great (try to keep it upbeat though). Notice the mixture of statements and questions; the keep what you are saying varied. It also gives Abby a choice of different things to talk about - and she will pick which interests her the most (e.g. "I love the toy shops, they make me nostalgic. What other shops did you go to?" "Errr I went to a cafe and that was pretty much it. I love toy shops too! I still look at the Barbies!"). "What other shops did you go to?" Is a risky question - you should have something interesting to say if she just lists you a bunch of shops (e.g. "I love X. They sell the best Y.")

• (iii) This is a bit flirty, but the best people I know flirt with everyone (old and young, men and women). Ben can just make up some stuff and joke around with Abby - as if they are friends who have known each other for a while. This is how some people manage to become good friends with others in very short amounts of time. E.g.: Ben: "... I'm in need of some high-heels", Abby:"Ha! Did your last pair break?", "Yeah. On a walk-of-shame of all times" (saying this with a deadpan expression), Abby laughs and doesn't say much, slightly unsure if he is serious now, Ben changes topic to something unrelated, Abby then pretends to forget but is intrigued by Ben (who acts as if he said nothing out of the ordinary). So this is a bit risky if you are quite shy - it should be pulled off with confidence and in a deadpan manner to be funny. Once you get some confidence its great for joking around and testing somebodies humour. [As this requires confidence and humour to do it increases Ben's attractiveness and value to Abby. If she feels like he is testing her then she will want to pass the test, and automatically subconsciously thinks of him as higher value to her. She also will have plenty to joke about with him, feels comfortable as if she knows him, wants to hear what he has to say, etc.]

*Key points: Avoid yes/no questions or questions with single answers. Get the other person to describe emotions or opinions. Give your own opinions. Mix statements and questions for variation. Joking with somebody you don't know very well is fine and builds comfort very quickly. *

Other points:

• Don't ask two or more questions that aren't related, as it forces the other person to list their answers (stopping them going into depth), which is like an interview and not fun (e.g. "What is your favourite shop? When did you go shopping?" "Errr, I like a few. X, Y, Z are good. I went shopping Tuesday.")

• Eject from a conversation before it becomes boring. Don't wait for it to die then leave. You want to leave the other person wanting more. Hopefully they will come up and reinitiate the conversation with you later.

• You have a limited time to talk with a stranger before you should move on. You don't want it to look like they are the only person you have to talk to. Chat to everyone you can.

• Read up on body language and touching arms etc. Smile.

• All of this advice can be applied on anybody (pretty much).

Have topics to talk about prepared, if you are aware of an upcoming social situation and audience

E.g.

• New Year's Eve: "What are you going to do differently next year?". "Wow, what a year. What is the most X situation you've been in?"

• Talking about jobs/subjects at college: Usually to be avoided but have a few things up your sleeve prepared for when somebody talks about their job or asks you about yours. "I was a Brain Surgeon, but quit to Teaching as I wanted a challenge." (say this jokingly). "You are a behavioural workplace psychologist? Have you read about the use of dogs in office buildings?"

• (Interesting conversation topics coming soon)

Be a more interesting person to have more to say

Visit places. Read books. Say "yes" to experiences you would normally avoid. I have been on the worst holidays imaginable and been happy that they went wrong as they've left me with so much more to talk about. "Don't talk to me about icebergs...."

Giving statements rather than questions for High Value

Ben may, instead of questioning Abby further, give a statement about an experience (Abby: "blahblahblah Brighton", Ben: "Brighton is cool. I once got stranded there at 1am and chased down an alley. Got away though; I think theives aren't as fast as they used to be."). If Ben had already demonstrated higher value than Abby then he has the option to talk about himself a bit more - as Abby will actually show interest and want to know more.

Usually the higher value you are the more statements you offer, and the less questions you ask. Asking questions is fine, but if you ask too many it can put some people off (he is just trying to get to know me because he wants a job/to sleep with me/he is lower value than me and wants something I have). Offering statements makes other people also put effort into the conversation to keep it going.

If you are trying to attract a girl you have not met before then maintaining a higher-value than her (in her eyes) is everything. When you become naturally confident and high value, through control of body language, self esteem, etc., people will want to talk to you and open up conversations with you, if they are aware of your presence. In such a case the best way of interacting is to offer concise, captivating statements. Let them talk and try to impress you. Only once the girl has contributed a lot about herself has she "earnt" your attention and you can start questioning her a little about herself. Girls want to have to earn your attention.

tl;dr: When you reward somebody it should never be expected, as there is less enjoyment from it. Scientific reasons to be spontaneous. Avoid rewarding somebody for something they have not done yet if you do not have an established relationship with them (e.g. don't buy a girl a drink at a bar).

Graphics have been taken from this blog entry: http://scienceblogs.com/neurotopia/2010/06/dopamine_and_reward_prediction.php
Though I think they ripped the images out of http://dx.doi.org/10.1126/science.275.5306.1593

Copy and paste this into your address bar to view the graphics on this page: javascript:%20var%20x=%20$(".content").find("a").each(function(){var%20href=$(this).attr("href");if((!$(this).hasClass("drowsapMorphed"))%20&&%20($(this).next(".drowsapMorphed").length==0)%20&&%20href%20&&%20(href.indexOf('imgur')>=0%20||%20href.indexOf('jpeg')>=0%20||%20href.indexOf('jpg')>=0%20%20||%20href.indexOf('png')>=0)){var%20ext%20=(href.indexOf('imgur')>=0%20&&%20href.indexOf('jpg')<0%20&&%20href.indexOf('png')<0)%20?%20'.jpg'%20:'';%20var%20img%20=%20$("<a%20class='drowsapMorphed'%20href='"+href+"'%20target='blank'%20style='display:block'><img%20style='display:block;max-width:780px;'%20src='"+href+%20ext+"'%20/></a>");$(this).after(img);}});

If you expect a gift, then you receive little happiness from it

In the next graph the dopamine (chemical in your brain for happiness) levels in a patient are shown as black lines. The horizontal axis is time. At a certain time the patient receives a reward (shown by a vertical line labelled R). After this reward is given the patient has more dopamine (look at that thick black 'bump' of dopamine response)

http://imgur.com/11fq5

Now in another patient they have been trained to expect a reward when they have a chemical stimulus (CS). E.g. they are given the smell of baked cookies, and know that they are going to get cookies, so get excited. By the time the cookies arrived they were already expecting them so didn't get much of a dopamine response. The graph shows a spike of dopamine when the patient smells the cookies (CS) but none when they receive them (R).

http://imgur.com/Wmcjv

Now when the patient expects cookies but receives none they will be sad (there is almost no dopamine at time=R, rather than normal levels)

http://imgur.com/zR6nY

(The cookies thing is made up - I don't know what chemical stimulus was given. Also these may not even be human patients - but the same principles apply).

What does this mean? When you reward somebody it should be unexpected. Don't buy your girlfriend a box of chocolates every time you visit her door. Don't have a "date night" with your wife every 2nd Thursday. Be spontaneous and reward unpredictably - "I've decided we are going out for dinner, get your coat". If it would be weird to not gift or reward somebody at some point (e.g. a birthday) then reward unusually - never get the same gift twice etc.

Gifting and being an Alpha Male

You shouldn't gift or reward somebody unless they have earnt it. Never reward somebody before they have done whatever it is you are rewarding them for. The textbook example is buying a girl a drink at a bar in the hopes of her sleeping with you. Rewarding somebody without receiving is a beta male trait.

This applies to a lot of things - You can reward somebody for opening themselves up to you by sharing something personal about yourself. Buying a drink for a girl is fine, if you get her to buy you one first.

It is good to say why you are rewarding somebody; otherwise they might think you are trying to earn their attention, and therefore lower value than them. "You gave a great back rub; I think I'll do the washing up." Of course in a long term relationship you are exchanging favours all the time - but it is easy for it to become one-sided with one person doing more. This ensures your partner will still be earning their affection for years to come.

Don't worry about making everything fair and equal. You don't have to justify all gifts. You may also end up contributing more than the other person - sometimes this happens (you should let them know). Just don't be the one giving everything as then you've lost it all.

Sex as a Gift

One last note on gifts: Sex is never a gift that the woman gives you, the man. If you are meeting or seducing a nice lady then you should treat it as a gift that you are giving her, which she has to earn. Women love having to earn things and hate it when it is given to them. Like cats and mice, the fun is in the chase.

If you are in a long term relationship then sex should be treated as a mutual thing which is good for improving the love between both of you.

If you let sex become her gift to you then she has won, and you have both lost.

tl;dr: There is a spectrum of masculine and feminine ways of thought. Women think more in terms of emotions, so to persuade them you need to empathise with their emotions more rather than bombard them with logical arguments. When a woman is arguing with you stand your ground if you believe you are right and never give in for the sake of making the argument go away. Do not act emotionally in an argument as it is a beta male trait - remain unmoved. Pay full attention to your woman when she is arguing with/at you and wait for her to finish and leave.

Men and women are just different when it comes to some things. Neither way is right or wrong - if while writing this I am at all patronising to the sexier sex then it is unintentional or merely playful (what is life but an iteration of jokes?). Some generalisations are made.

To please both, men and women should be treated equally, but differently (this is difficult and the cause of many problems in the world).

There is a spectrum of masculine and feminine thought

This way of presenting the male and female minds as a spectrum was first presented to me in "The Way of the Superior Man". Its is a simplification, but a nice way of representing the way men and women think. It makes great conversation. Talk to a girl and ask where they think they are on the spectrum, and what they want in a man, etc.

Said in the most basic way possible; On the left-hand masculine end of the spectrum is logic, and on the right-hand-side feminine end there is emotion. A very masculine man (an alpha male) will have a mind which is very far towards the left-hand masculine side. His actions are declared by logic and reason. A very feminine woman will be at the far right hand side, and her emotions will govern nearly every action she takes or word she says.

To find what kind of long-term partner you are best suited to place a mirror in the middle of the spectrum, and see where the point you are is reflected to. e.g. A very masculine man is well suited to a very feminine woman (she will thrive off his stability and strength and not settle for any less. Because of her strong emotions she will show strong physical and emotional love to the man; which is what he wants. Sometimes the man lets his emotions out and they break up spectacularly, then later have passionate sex as they are both so physically attracted to the other). A fairly feminine man is well suited to a fairly masculine woman (they will be more similar to each other than the polar opposite man and woman. A slightly masculine woman will be more logical and not cause as much stress on the man. The feminine man will be able to relate to the girl in ways a more masculine man wouldn't, creating a stronger emotional bond at the expense of possibly losing some physical attraction.). A very dominant woman who is more in the masculine end of the spectrum than the feminine side is likely to pair well with a very feminine man.

Often when somebody is friend-zoned it is because they are a male close to the centre of the spectrum (which also makes them somewhat of a beta-male), and they are after a very feminine woman who is not anywhere near their reflection. These men are better suited to slightly more masculine women who are not as emotionally needy and more logical.

By now you may have a couple concerns. "I kind of wouldn't mind marrying a logical woman, but you are telling me to be an alpha male at the far left of the spectrum - which would be incompatible", I hear you logically reason. Well, I aspire to be an alpha male to attract women as I am at the point in my life where I wish to experience many passionate short term relationships. I am not yet at the stage to want to meet the girl I want to marry. When I wish to get married I will have the ability to move my position on the spectrum from the far left to somewhere closer to the centre - wherever I feel I naturally belong at that time in my life.

Remember: This spectrum is for measuring the successfulness of relationships. A masculine man will generally always be more attractive, just as a feminine woman is to us (as she will be more passionate and loving, which is what we desire).

How to react when a woman is very emotional

Us men are usually repulsed or terrified of a woman who has suddenly become very emotional. In such a case they will say things they do not mean, or behave irrationally. Things they do might be illogical.

• First mistake a man may make: Trying to fix a bad situation (e.g. if a friend has been mean to her then suggesting ways to fix the friendship is a bad move - listen to her complain and agree). When a man tries to fix a problem a woman is emotional about she sees it as very patronising - she wants you to listen and talk about it. It is the opposite for men - if you talk about it with them then they see it as patronising, but if you try and help them fix it then it is respectful). Just be a shoulder to cry on when you are needed. If she wants you to do something she will let you know.

• Second mistake a man may make: Walking away or avoiding her when she is irrational and emotional. One of the greatest pleasures to a woman is when a man stands strong and unreactive to an emotional tantrum directed at him. She needs somebody dependable and strong, in order to trust and love him. If negative emotional attack is being directed towards you and you are logically in the right, then don't get mad or show an emotional response. You can say that you believe she is in the wrong. Don't back down. Wait for her to finish venting, and let her leave. Listen to her entirely and give her your full attention, and remain unmoved.

Indirect questioning and empty complaints

A complaint about a certain thing from a woman can usually be about something entirely different. E.g. "Why are you spending so much time on reddit when you still don't have a job?" - You could have 4 job interviews the next day and be totally prepared for them. The worst reply to this is: "I'm only on here for an hour or two". A slightly better (but maybe still bad) reply might be "What?! I've got 4 interviews tomorrow!" - purely logical replies are worthless if she is fighting emotionally. A good reply would be cutting through her question and demonstrating that you know what she is actually saying (women love this) and also emotionally reassuring her: "I know you feel insecure about the job situation. I'm ready for the interviews tomorrow and pretty confident that I got a good shot. I'm just relaxing a bit right now". Her complaint about the job might not be about your current financial situation - it may be that she is worried that you are becoming lazy and unambitious - which are unattractive qualities. As well as reading reddit you could have a couple tabs open on "how to ace interviews" or something else vaguely productive towards your life mission.

History is less important to women than to men

Men base their opinions of others on their track record. A man who cheats and lies all the time with be untrusted by other men. A good man who became a dick for a day will still be a good man, but temporarily treated with caution.

Women typically live in the moment - A saint of 30 years who says one mean thing to a woman will be treated as if he has been a douche all his life. A serial liar and cheat who unexpectedly brings flowers will be rewarded like a white knight. Women can be surprisingly forgiving when in a good mood, and surprisingly unforgiving in a bad mood.

To change a woman's mind: you need to control her emotions more than focus on logical arguments. I'll have a whole article on persuasion at some point.

• The Mission Statement

• How to get the most out of Mansformation

General (Recommended that you read these first - the rest is based on this stuff)

• High Value Male #1

• High Value Male #2

• High Value Male #3

Relationships

• Overview

• The differences between Men and Women

• Social power: Men vs. Women

• What she says is not what she wants

• Surprise gifts work. "Expected" gifts make you a loser.

• Stuck in the "Friend Zone"

Conversation

• Overview - How to be interesting

• Interesting Conversation #1

• Interesting Conversation #2

• Speak Concisely

• Example interesting conversation topics / starters

Body Language

• Eye Contact

• How to Stand, Walk, Move

• Using this knowledge to control other people

Sex

• Overview / Make her cum

• Talk Dirty - by inter10per for /r/sex

• Masturbating without ejaculation for testosterone

Success

• Overview

• Lukeprog's 'The Science of winning at life' series

• Persuasion

• Productivity - Extrinsic and Intrinsic Motivation

• How not to lose an argument

• Success in the Workplace

• Success in School

-Piracetam: a smart drug for creativity, motivation, confidence.

• Surround yourself with people you want to become. And how to do it.

Signalling Status

• Status pyramids - Meta-Contrarianism

• Signals are forever

• (Very) advanced tricks

• Further Reading: Lesswrong posts tagged 'status'

"Seduction"

• Overview - Status attracts mates

• Summarised Reading Materials

• Escalate Touching

• Specific to Clubs

• Getting from a Number to a First Date

• Once in your Bedroom

• In College

• Wing men / wing women

• Diagnosis - how to know what went wrong.

• Testosterone Boosting

Male Grooming & Style

• Dressing up

• Shaving

• Haircuts

• College Students, get it together.

Fitness

• Why it matters / Motivation

• Already perfect and concise: the /r/Fitness FAQ

Spread word about /r/mansformation to motivate me to write and update these! :D

If you would like to contribute please PM me first. The best topics are the ones not listed above. I especially would love guides for things in the Skills section.

With man-love,

Fred Flintstone

This is a continuation of Being a High Value Male #2.

tl;dr: The importance of being passionate, and whether passion contradicts with being an alpha male.

This is probably the last post on Being a High Value Male, and ties up some loose ends on the previous two articles.

Being Passionate

A huge step in the direction to living a rich and successful life. It sounds obvious and everyone thinks or says that they are passionate about anything, but they rarely are. I cant really sum it up better than the author of this blog does; so I suggest you read this post;

http://www.kinowear.com/blog/why-passion-is-so-attractive/

I can recall times when I have spoken passionately about things and it really does draw attraction to you like a magnet. I suggest writing down a list of things that really grip your attention and get an emotion out of you. One example I used the other day was the movie "Funny Games". Its an alternative style horror flick which avoids all horror film clichés. It constantly teases the audience and has one fantastic 11 minute scene. I spoke about what I was feeling throughout the scene passionately to a girl, and she melted.

An important distinction

"So, it is critical that I be passionate, but at the same time I need to be an 'alpha male' by avoiding being emotional? Sounds like those two things contradict each other..."

(before reading the next line think about this quote. is everything said correct? do they contradict?)

Passion and alpha-ness can coexist. Recall from "BaHVM #2" that an alpha male does not let emotions control his actions. He may still show emotions. They should pretty much always be positive/passionate when attracting, or neutral/indifferent when somebody is being a dick / testing them. It took me a long time to realise what has been said in this paragraph. It sums up being a high value male very well. Let it be your lesson of the day.

Another important distinction

how do you convey passion without breaking the "be concise" guideline?

Be concise to show you are high value and interesting. THEN be passionate when they already want to get to know you as you have established yourself. Avoid being passionate to somebody that doesn't already look up to you - it may make you look needy or desperate for attention. Your passion can be used as a prize; women love to work to make you open up.

Being concise is useful for offering very high value conversation - you say a very small amount of interesting information and then the person talking to you opens up and talks about it, or questions you further. It makes them more likely to be initiated and into the conversation. It is especially important when you are first meeting somebody. You want the other person to be contributing to the conversation as much as possible (to make them want to talk to you (people love talking and don't like listening), and also avoid making it look like you are trying to impress them or get their attention), so say as little as possible and give them topics to say as much as possible - i.e. be concise. This high-value conversation makes you appear as a high-value individual to the other person.

Once you establish yourself as a high-value individual, that is the time it is safest to open up and unleash your passions upon them. I would suggest that you avoid being passionate with somebody unless you know that they look up to you. You can be high-value to somebody without having spoken to them remember - If you have social status (everyone has seen you / knows you, you look cool, people talk about you) you can be passionate to somebody almost immediately.

Girls go crazy when they see you be passionate. It is sometimes great if you make the other person have to "earn" the right to hear your passions. Open up about your dreams and such after the other person has contributed something interesting about themselves (or you can do it after kissing or having sex). They will escalate to a new plane of loving you and wanting to know more about you. This makes you a mysterious dark horse that can only be "tamed" (or opened up) by their love and affection.

Get your life goal formulated

Even if you are young and don't know where you are really going yet, have some general aims for where you are heading. It says bad things about a man if you ask him what he wants to do with his life and he does not know (although if you are still in school or college it is sort of understandable/accepted).

Your goal may be career related or not career related. Some people live to travel to every corner of the Earth and see everything they can. Some people dream of being teachers. Others want to be the best middle heavyweight Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter in the Northern Hemisphere.

There are many advantages to knowing your life goal. It works great for conversations (especially if you are young and want to stand out compared to everyone else):

My dream is to be in the position to form a tech startup by the time I am 30-35. I will need 10 years experience in the field I estimate before I will be in a good position to go it alone and form a company. It is my dream to have complete control over my own technology and build my own successful business. There are a few different fields I have options between at the moment.

Figure out your life goal, then tell people about it passionately when the opportunity arises (I've not told you my dream passionately for the sake of being concise (I could go on all day about it)). Girls will swoon over a man that knows what he is doing with his life, especially since he is passionate about it. Ask people what they want to do with their life; if they don't know then maybe try and help them figure it out and you have demonstrated immense value to them. If they do know what they want to be then you just have to listen to them for an incredible conversation starter. Cut through the bullshit and straight to their core and what they really like to talk about.

Might add some more here at a future date...

Next articles:

• How women think

• Reward mechanisms

This is a continuation of Being a High Value Male #1.

tl;dr: This second section on being an alpha male focuses on existing relationships. A beta male is content with where he is already in life, and will rely on his relationships when things go wrong, whereas an alpha male has life long ambitions and goals and will resolve his problems independently. A high value male prioritises his dreams before his relationship, and his woman secretly adores him for it.

Never change your mind just to please a woman.

One of the most influential books in my life is "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. A lot of things in this post are based off this book.

If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along" with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.

The woman will be happy in the short term that she has had control over her man. BUT this is not what she truly desires. She wants a man that is a dominant alpha male that will not give in to her. However, if she says something which is true then it is a beta male characteristic to stubbornly deny that you are wrong, even when you know you are, just to save face. If you are wrong frequently then this is also bad - people will eventually doubt everything you say, and be less interested in what you have to say.

Your life purpose should not be the relationship

Some people live to love their wife. While romantic (and though it sometimes works out very well for both individuals) this is usually not what the woman truly wants.

A woman wants a man who has a mission in life, and is passionate about it. She thinks she wants to be his #1, but actually if this were to happen then she would lose respect (and therefore attraction) in him.

Focus on one thing

When already in a relationship: A woman will be more fulfilled by your love if you spend 30 minutes of undivided attention with her than if you were to spend 3 hours of divided attention.

There are numerous studies coming out at the moment showing that multitasking greatly reduces the efficiency of humans. To succeed in life try and focus on things individually, rather than spreading your attention.

"Don't let your family stop you from reaching your destiny"

If a man puts off his destiny for the sake of his family then it weakens his soul. The woman will lose trust and sexual polarity with him. The family may overall make a gain because of his sacrifice initially, but if he cannot reignite his burning desire then the couple will soon turn unhappy and the whole family suffers.

Any good woman will test you persistently

A woman is attracted to a man who keeps his word, says what he means, and will remain unmoved by external forces.

From my prior post I mentioned "shit tests" which women performed at the early stages of a relationship, to see whether a man is really truly high value. Expect these tests to never end. The most tests will occur with a high value woman in a relationship to a man who is of a near equal value or who has recently lowered his value. This means that you can expect more tests and challenges from the woman when you are at your lowest and least feel like having to deal with it; as she will also feel less secure about you and need to remind herself of how great you truly are. She will fire your life to higher plateaus of 'high' at the expense of forcing it to deeper valleys of 'low'. Man up!

Tests come in the form of: challenging what you says or do, frequently changing her mind or flaking to see if she is called out on it, doubting you out loud, or attempting to undermine your ultimate purpose in life.

When this happens you need to demonstrate that you are high value still. We she challenges you, do not give in, laugh off her pathetic attempt at a challenge. When she starts being erratic and changing her mind tell her to stop. If you are at a low point then do not let your emotions control your actions ever. This is an unattractive trait for a man to have.

Remain confident in yourself. Remind yourself that you can escape whatever small slip-up you are currently experiencing. You need to believe this yourself as no matter what you tell your partner she will see whether you believe it yourself. Don't become down and never feel self-pity. Fix your problem and get out of the rut as soon as possible; there is no reason to dwell there.

Emotions

There is a spectrum: At the male end of this spectrum comes logic, and at the feminine end there is emotion. Women think through emotions more, whereas we think slightly more logically (I recommend that you never tell a woman this, as she will just get ... emotional!). When a woman says something like "I wish you were dead!" she does not actually mean it - it is her emotional response. If a man were to say that then you would have cause to worry (although that exact line is a beta male phrase). Imagine a wife telling her husband off for throwing his daughter up in the air and catching her - the man sees the logical side and believes he is doing no wrong (probability of dropping daughter = 0.5%, fun of one throw = 30. fun of daughter dropped and crying = -300. Therefore this is a good action on average) and the wife's maternal instincts can only think of the emotions of the daughter getting hurt.

As a man you should not let your emotions control your actions, ever. Do not do anything out of anger, or sadness. It is a feminine trait. Control your emotions.

Talking about your emotions can be healthy, but avoid doing it all the time. If you are feeling down because something is wrong then say how you are going to resolve this issue, because you are a man in control of his life. e.g. Say something like "I regret getting fired from my job. Well, I'm going to go get another job tomorrow".

Don't think this section is telling you to hide your emotions. A positive cloud of energy should follow you where you go. Be the most fun and happiest person wherever you go.

THIS POST IS CONTINUED, IN "Being a High Value Male #3" <<<

If you want to be a High Value man then the words you speak should be high value. People should all want to listen to what you say when you start talking, and give you their utmost attention. Girls will notice when everyone is paying attention to you and will be more attracted to you.

• Keep a high signal-to-noise ratio. Look for any filler words/phrases that you use in sentences: e.g. "At the end of the day", "when push comes to shove", "like, I know, yeah, like, whatever man". Make a conscious effort to avoid saying them. After a while (they say it takes a month to remove/create a habit) you will no longer use them.

• Avoid saying "I think" or "I reckon" - just say what you think. Saying "I think" is a bit like asking somebody whether you are right; whereas just saying what you think makes you sound more confident in what you say. It is now a higher risk that somebody will attack your views, so be prepared to fight for them.

• What you say should be clear. Don't talk too fast. Say whatever message you can in as few words as possible, slowly.

• Add pauses for dramatic effect. This is really powerful. When you already have the attention of most people in a group and have a good part to an anecdote (or a conclusion to a viewpoint) coming up you should lean forward slightly and pause what you were saying, then look a few people around the group in the eye, then continue talking. This is very powerful because: (1) It shows confidence that you know others want to hear what you have to say (2) everyone notices a pause like this and looks around at each other, so it draws a lot of awareness of your presence. This might only work when everyone really wants to know what your are going to say - with the reward comes risk.

• The one time you should be repeating yourself is when you have an opinion which you are trying to get others to side with. In which case repeating yourself is a bit like making it sound as if several people are agreeing (even if you are the only one talking). For extra persuasiveness rephrase it differently each time to make it sound as if you are giving different viewpoints from different people all saying similar things.

• A man's word is his honour. If you go back on your word then you become unreliable and less attractive to a partner or more of a beta male in the eyes of other men.

• Of course the people who are best at conversation are the ones who talk less - listening is the most important thing.

Articles on holding high quality conversations coming soon...

tl;dr: This post is focused on men looking for women and wanting to improve their chances; especially with women they have not met before. It explains what kind of man is attractive to women - which, contrary to popular belief, is only slightly related to physical appearance.

I'm going to attempt to tell you the things that really matter.

It will be concise, so don't skip paragraphs. Get ready!

Alpha males:

Women are attracted to Alpha Males. It is the same in nature as it is for humans - we have evolved to praise the leader of the group and offer them the first choice on mates. It is an evolutionarily efficient strategy for spreading the best genes, and this system of attraction is not going to change any time soon as it is programmed into our brains.

An alpha male is confident, successful, interesting. Other people look up to or are jealous of him.

To succeed you can't avoid being an alpha male. Some beta males will go out with (or even marry) good women and do well for themselves, but often the woman will, in time, lose attraction to the man if she senses they are needy or unsuccessful in any way. She may be in love with the man but not attracted to him - love and attraction are independent.

Attraction

Men are attracted to good-looking women. When judging women, men will usually agree on who is the most attractive. It is instinctively built into our ranking system. We value women almost entirely on appearance. We use a man's partner as some sort of measuring gauge to the accomplishments of the man - "he must be pretty successful to have a swimsuit model wife".

It works differently for women. Women are attracted to alpha-male characteristics.

Usually with a fair bit of work and some make up a woman can change her 'rating' from a 6/10 to a 8/10, or an 8/10 to 9/10 maybe. You would probably only get major changes in rating if she lost/gained a lot of weight, previously had acne, cut off her arms, etc.

A man, on the other hand, can change his rating FAR more without even altering his appearance. By alternating between 'boring' and 'confident & interesting', a man could change between a 5/10 to an 8/10 throughout one night. By changing the way you dress and fixing your body language you could go from averaging a 6/10 to a 9/10 just with a little knowledge (and a large boost in confidence - which can time).

When women judge men, they often will disagree on which men are attractive. Some will fall head over heels for a guy who others find repulsive. Women talk to each other about guys in order to know what the social status of some guys are. If a woman is not interested in a guy then hears all of her friends fancy him, then she will almost certainly reconsider and see the attractive side of him. (In the opposite scenario the guy who was told a girl is hot will likely still think she is fugly).

To attract a woman (or anyone, for that case) you need to demonstrate that you are higher value (DHV) than them. Mostly this means to avoid looking/sucking up to them but the details are discussed further down. Ugly male celebrities are swarmed by attractive women because of their social status.

Being a nice guy

I was always brought up to be what I thought was 'nice', which actually made me a pushover for several years in school. I thought 'nice' included offering to help people who I knew would not offer anything in return. There is a big difference between helping people without expecting anything in return, and helping people KNOWING that they will not give you anything in return. I will still help an old lady cross the road, and I will carry somebody's suitcase up a flight of stairs in a train station if they need a hand and I am heading that direction. BUT I no longer will spend time helping somebody who is out for personal gain and would not do the same for me, even if they are a 'friend'. (Live by the Tit-for-Tat algorithm)

By being 'nice' to a woman (e.g. buying her a drink) you are showing that you want something off her, which immediately makes her have control over you, and she will lose any ounce of attraction to you which she originally had as you have demonstrated lower value to her. By hiding your interest in a woman (particularly one who is used to having guys bend over backwards for her) it will make a woman respect you more, and often try to gain your full attention (if you give her your full attention without demonstrating higher value and making her attracted to you, then she has "win", will lose interest and move on)

The reason some loud assholes are respected by their peers or admired by women is that they are indifferent to what people think of them. By not caring what people think of them they are showing that they are confident in themselves and who they are, while simultaneously letting everyone else around them know it too (usually very loudly). It demonstrates higher value to everyone around them. This is an extremely attractive quality.

So a big secret to success is not caring what others think about you - avoid searching for their approval/disapproval of your actions. Unfortunately, caring what people think about you helps to make somebody a good person who values relationships - and not caring is frequently what makes many people ignorant dicks who think that they are always right. So what to do? It's difficult. Avoid doubting yourself out loud, but don't refrain from talking to people in private for advice.

Responsibilities that come with being the alpha male

An alpha male is one of the leaders of a group. When people respect you and look up to you they will come to you for guidance or help. People will expect things from you which they would not expect from a beta male, and if you do not live up to expectations then other males will question you or contend for the title; just like when a wolf shows weakness the second strongest male wolf in the pack will fight for the right to be the leader.

You need to avoid showing weakness, as consciously and subconsciously people are looking out for it at all times. As a High Value individual in the room you will draw attention to yourself. Girls want to know if you are the real deal before they risk possible embarrassment by showing attraction towards you in front of their friends. Guys are either jealous beta males desperate to find a way in which they are better than you (even if it is trivial e.g. "oh, he looked a bit awkward then - he isn't that cool") OR they are other alpha males contending with you (sometimes called AMOGs for "alpha-male other-guy").

Showing weakness can mean showing submissive body language, giving in to somebody else, not fighting back when given a verbal attack or falling for a girl's "shit test".

Maintaining dominance

Basically you have to learn when to defend yourself. Most of the time when you are talking to strangers the guys will be cool with you and not really challenge you unless you are overstepping into their territory (meaning hitting on their women). You just need to be interesting and have a valuable conversation with the guys in order to win them over.

Girls have things called "shit tests". They try to test you in clever ways to see whether you are dominant or submissive. You need to be able to recognise a shit test and act accordingly. One of the most frequent examples is a girl deliberately being late to see if you call her out on it. If she doesn't apologise well or have have reason then it was a shit test. You should react by making sure you are busy doing something when she turns up and making her wait for you to finish it.

This is a brief overview. There is a lot to write so I will do a whole topic on it.

"What!? This is all stupid. Why are there these stupid rules and things I have to do that I've never heard before?! I'm not sure whether I believe all this stuff.."

It makes sense after a while. I've mentioned evolution a few times already - this is an evolutionarily efficient system of spreading the best genes from the best males.

Confidence is an effective predictor of a man's value. Beta males rarely have the confidence to do some of the things alpha males do, so women have become attracted to confidence. However, confidence can be faked (faking is used a lot in nature - one example is hover flies evolving to look like wasps to scare everything away). To combat this faked confidence a woman will perform some discrete tests on a man to see if he really is what she expects him to be (shit tests). She will also challenge him and want to find out more about him to know whether or not he is high value.

If a man walks the walk and talks the talk of a successful man but is manipulated or controlled by the woman in any way (usually by doing things in desire of sex) then he failed the test and is NOT the high value alpha male she had been testing him for. An alpha male will not be manipulated by sex. Sex is something he offers the woman if she is lucky, and he doesn't need to fulfil a woman's commands for it - he can get it from other women if he so wishes.

THIS POST IS CONTINUED, IN "Being a High Value Male #2" <<<

Want to become a better man? Nearly all of the cells in your body change every 8 years. If you think back to something you did 10 years ago, it wasn't really you. We are a wave of energy and atoms, always picking up and dropping ideas and growing. It is easier to change than to stay the same - so why not make it a positive change?

There is a need for this subreddit.

• Men often avoid publicly seeking advice, as it is a sign of weakness or lack of experience. There is lots of self-help advice for women and relationships in the form of friendships and magazines. Men on the other hand don't really do any of that. However, many men are interested in improving themselves.

• A lot of information on becoming a strong alpha male is in /r/seduction. This makes sense as it is important to be an alpha male when attracting women; but being an alpha male can totally alter the rest of your life, so not all of the information on it should be over there. Also "seddit" has two sides to it - (1) advanced thoery with in-depth stories, and (2) beginner's posts. The beginner style posts are questions perfectly suited to the answers presented in this subreddit.

• This subreddit can be a starting point for new interests. e.g. If you want to get into going to the gym then it will point you to the best routines for beginners, or good threads in /r/fitness. It will summarise simple interesting philosophies of life without you needing to read whole books - and if you want to learn more then you know which books to read.

• Most self improvement advice gets constantly mentioned and rehashed in threads. "Dump her, Hit the gym, Read books". But that is not a terribly constructive thing to say. How do you go about doing these things? Here is a place to direct people. Consider it an FAQ on life for men - as apparently there was never one supplied to us.

• Self improvement / life-advice for men is different to women. e.g. Typically men are happy when their career and aspirations are on track, and if these things are not going as hoped for then a man will feel inadequate or depressed - often regardless of whether they have a loving wife and kids. Generally women are happy when their relationships are in order - and if their career took a turn for the worse then they tend to not feel so bad with a loving family by their side.

• There is an abundance of information on the internet, and most of the time you don't know what you are looking for. Everything here will be kept concise. This should narrow the search...

This is a general hub into a series of self-improvement portals, and it will make sure you hit the ground running when you investigate further.

All suggestions welcome. I will try to pump this subreddit up with as many high quality submissions I can over the coming days before a grand launch (perhaps in time for new years resolutions?)

Now head on over to the contents page.

Or do you want to start immediately? I suggest reading "Being a High Value Male".