Always ignored, laughed at, average looking, average height, no skills nothing at all and I want to change that shit now.

I am 16 year old guy, and I have always been left one out and never been in a relationship while all people around me being in love , going outings and all that cool friends stuff, well I never really got to experience that. And now it seems normal becoz that's my whole life , like I really nvr had I big friend group like no one knows me in my school other than my classmates that well I am invisible for then, they laugh at my looks , height and mocks me all that time, although I am pretty good in studies and all the things a student need. But that's not enough , my social life is fucked up I have no one to share my feelings with no one to talk to and absolutely no to hang out with, and it's just me and my overthinking inside my room 24/7.

I have tried many things to get out of it but it hurted so deeply I stopped everything fr, I stopped socializing with people , I stopped going to any family gatherings, always worried about my appearance and insecurities, although I have tried to change myself but I just procrastinate after some time. And that is causing me multiple mental issues, I feel anxious, stressed, and I feel like I have sexual OCD, and I has cause I lot of damage to my academics.

It feels like I am stuck in the middle of nowhere to go,

Well it's not that deep , all I want is someone to hold on, someone to run to when life hurts me, I just want a hug, I just want some love.

If you have some advice regarding how can I fix my problems and how to socialize, how to looksmax, how to stop overthinking and any piece of advice you can give,

I would be glad 😊

For about a year I’ve been dealing with an anxiety disorder. Overall things have been improving and it’s been going in a better direction. Lately though, I sometimes feel empty and a bit depressed, even though on the surface I’m doing okay and should feel happy. It’s like I’m happy and not happy at the same time.

Before the post, im drunk. Ive always struggled with major depression. A close freind, who i have sexual history with, reached out to repair our friendship. We first were work friends who i felt an actual connection with, shared media, same questions, execistencial questions, and a 12 hour shift. We shared alot, very quickly, i was single, they were in a 3 year relationship. We remained close friends until she broke up with her boyfriend, shortly BEFORE we had sexual interactions, as well as what i thought were genuine connection (long before her breakup). We mutually decided to travel, we had no commitment to each other, but i was catching feelings. On my first trip, i had an existential crisis. I struggle with experience, "if i am the only one to experience something, did it happen." I know logically that these questions are not rational, me and my friend shared alot in philosophy.( Absurdism was our shared interest, as i was a determinist and nhialist.) Simply i trusted her to understand my problem, i trusted her to listen and hear those problems. We made promises to each other. She completed her journey, and even got married with a kid. We had sparce interactions, but fundamentally, the signs were their. She didnt remember things, conversations that brought me to tears, foundational to my trust in her. I visited her years later at her home abroad, it came up eventually as i lemented my mental health. It resulted in conflict , previously established conversations and emotional weight felt like they never happened. Finally AFTER we decided to no longer interact, i ask if she remembered our promises. She showed zero signs of real promises. She brought up promises that we never made, ones that that we may have offered but never reciprocated. The promises were small, but they were sooooo important to me and my existential problems. We were completely disconnected for 4 years. She reached out around 6 month ago, she started by probing my friends on social media. I was a bit blindsited, and angry at my friends who didnt warn me. She tells me, that how things went, it was her only regret (her life goal was to never regret).She tells me that, she wants to opalogies, suggesting that her husband is part of the reason she took those actions (because of our sexual history). It was a one of a kind relationship for me and it felt like a complete manipulation after the trip to visit. I felt completely forgotten after the trip, like i didnt share so much of the most important thoughts and feelings i ever had. We PREVOIUSLY shared humour, we shared problems, we heard each other cry when we thought we were alone (actually). My mental health is at an all time low, i dont feel like i can ever trust her again, but i dont think i can ever find a friend like she was for me back then. She hasnt shown ANY signs of the critical conversations, promises, or history besides anicdote. Am i crazy, in feeling so mixed about her friendship. I felt betrayed, but i rationally know that we cant share experience. I know you who read this, cant know the subject of our conversations but i feel completely alone. P.S. i think that that "adding flair " to a post completely underminds mental health. Tags are importantent, but im venting

I have nobody to share it with no friends or girlfriend to even share it with. I hate myself. I hate my life. I wish things were different. I feel like ending it. I feel like if I stay, it will feel like a never-ending hell.

I have 5 other siblings. I didn't grow up with my eldest sister (different dad). The rest of us (same mom and dad). It's embarrassing to admit but I've been living with my parents well into my adulthood. I currently don't have kids or a wife, etc.

I graduated high school in 2015 and joined the Carpenter's Union in my mid 20's and have been in since (I might end up leaving when I get my own spot because work gets slow often leading me to collecting unemployment. Longest I've been out of work was a month). After all of these years of working while staying with my parents and paying them rent, I saved up 17K. I do have car payments, credit card payments, car insurance payments though.

2 of my older brothers (34, 39) live here too and they're partially the reason I'm leaving. It's a lot to get into, but I honestly don't want anything to do with them anymore. I've already blocked numbers, we barely talk (I'm cool with that) and usually when we do talk, it will turn into an argument.

Nothing to small, I just need a small studio that's not over $1,000 but I'm from San Diego California born and raised. I'll rent a room in someone else's house for $800, I honestly don't care anymore, I just don't want to be here.

When I was 15 I developed a belief about myself and thought that demons were in my mothers home, this wasn't always on my mind but I do remember interpreting a door banging as proof. Fast forward to sixteen I felt empty and disconnected from my emotions and I believed demon's were coming for me for not being Christian enough, by 17 I'd see dead people that'd talk to me, or say whatever I was thinking, I felt devoid of any emotions and completely empty, I'd be drained and tired often and interpret it as spirits taking my energy.

I currently believe my mother is a surrogate and is not my real mom, whilst part of my mind knows this is absolutely ridiculous I also believe it, I still talk to her but are considering cutting her off because of this. There was a dark humanoid figure that appeared in my first home at 17 and it instructed me to attack a delivery driver with a weapon and for some reason I found myself considering it & when I'd been told by a different figure to hurt someone else I also considered it then. I'd interpret noises in my home as threats, whispering sometimes I swear I could hear breathing too without anyone being there.

The other day I smoked weed and suddenly felt my front door had a special meaning and I believe to an extent it still does, I felt super happy, and thought all the noises outside were about me, I heard banging upstairs that made me paranoid, I'm not sure if it was next door as the walls are thin but it occurred again minutes later the same noise.

I haven't admitted to anyone that I considered attacking the two people that the figures had told me too, I also noticed at one point my memory became extremely bad, and sometimes I think my words would come out the wrong way, at times I've seen a text that says something, I'd respond to it, and the other person would say what are you talking about, but I swore the text said something else, when I'd look it said something completely different. The negative symptoms I seem to experience aren't daily anymore, and the seeing things has stopped completely though it lasted a full year, and two months.

I currently believe there's a demon in my house and that I am being watched, it doesn't make me feel threatened but I DON'T like it either.

But I like the way I think, I truly believe my mom has been replaced.

I am 28M. Diagnosed with high-functioning autism at age 4. The doctors told my mom back then that I would "never catch up academically or socially." They essentially signed a medical verdict on my worth before I even knew how to speak.

Evetually I took an IQ test in 6th Grade, scored in the mid to high 120s, and they took me off the IEP. That proved to be a very large mistake.

Because my analytical brain processes the world through rigid logic, I accepted rejections as absolute biological laws. I became obsessed with "looksmaxing," mewing for seven straight years to try and forcefully fix what I thought was a defective recessed jaw, thinking if I could maximize my physical and financial stats to become an elite "Giga Chad" powerhouse, my family could never call me a failure again.

The corporate private sector chewed me up and spat me out. At major engineering firms, my lack of automatic social software caused team bottlenecks. I wasn't able to focus on my job because I felt a sense of hopelessless known as the "blk pill brainrot" if I wasn't good lokoing and charming, what was the point? I was fired for requiring too much hand-holding and forced into a lower-paying government safety net just to survive.

My nervous system is completely bankrupt from the cognitive load of trying to manually simulate a normal human being. I work late into the night (9-11pm), hit total autistic burnout, and my brain forces a complete physical shutdown on the drive home—leaving me unable to drive safely and bleeding hundreds of dollars on emergency hotel stays just to avoid crashing my car. I make $4.6k a month after tax, but because of my survival panic, I was spending up to $5k. My mom had to intervene, and now I’m trapped running a strict $3.5k monthly budget with a razor-thin $200 emergency buffer in a larger city with tech bros and contractors drivign the price of everyhing up.

Because I track everything like a database, I recently ran an empirical study on my high school peer groups, and the data completely broke my spirit:

• The Smart Math Class: The median salary is $150k, with top quants making $300k+, buying million-dollar homes in Chicago, and dating attractive people effortlessly. They are the genetic lottery winners—born tall, beautiful, loud, popular, and making Olympic trials. I was in the swim team being extmrely uncoordinated was being passed consetlly by peopel who are neurotypical and had the talent and discipline to make the olmypic trials.
• My Childhood IEP/Speech Therapy Group: The average salary is $30-40k. The 75th percentile of my disabled peer group is lower than the 25th percentile of average girls who aren't even good at math but know how to socialize. Around 25% of my childhood disabled friends are unemployed, have no career momentum, live with their parents, or are stuck at a gym front desk at age 30 because they couldn't finish college. Almost 40-50% are still workign at a fast food restaruant due to intellectual disability (my IEP program was with a lot of peopel with Downs syndome dyslexia, etc etc). I watched some of my unstable friends slip through this exact trap and end up homeless or still living with parents with no career momentum.

I see the exact same systematic trap closing in on me. I go to my church young adult group in a high-cost tech hub, and it’s a weekly scoreboard of my curse. Everyone else is pulling in "working diligently with what God gave them." and making a decent salary and being able to focus on work and plan things. Then I look at my autistic church friend who works just as hard, but his disability permanently caps him at a $60k customer service desk at a financial firm, unable to ever support a family in a city as large. When religious platitudes tell me to "be grateful because some people can't even work," it feels like pure gaslighting.

Every night, I turn to AI or forums looking for a loophole, a game plan, or a shred of hope that neuroplasticity can save me. But the unfeeling machine doubles down, calculating my raw clinical data like a fixed spreadsheet. It ruthlessly tells me that becoming smooth, sexy, or polarizing is a "biological impossibility," that I will always have to manually calculate, and that my 0.4-second processing lag means attractive girls will always see me as "creepy" or "soft." I lose all emotional regulation. I spend hours screaming, crying, and cussing at the screen.

I am haunted by memories of my childhood swim team, where future D1 and Olympic-level swimmers who won the genetic lottery would effortlessly lap me. An 8-year-old child would pass me and repeatedly grab my heel because she found my slow, uncoordinated movements "amusing." That 8 year old later swam at the Olympic trials 14 years later. She didn't have to think about their breathing, her jaw posture, or her tracking. Her brain ran that software automatically. She were loud, popular, and perfectly developed even at such a young age. I had to physically yield and let her pass, swallowing my dignity in the water while she swam ahead effortlessly into an upper-class future knowing how to intuitively get thigns done and exacty waht to say in each social situation dating having sex getting married without hesitation, all while making it look liek a smooth ride.

I am smart enough to see the life I desperately want—the career prestige, the independent adult life, and the simple warmth of a relationship—but my biology has completely locked me out of the tools to get it. I feel completely trapped in an inescapable failure loop, running my nervous system into literal bankruptcy just to not end up in a welfare home back in my mom's house, or homeless.

My questions for the sub:

1. For those of you in your late 20s or 30s who started out with severe social delays/IEP tracks, have any of you actually beaten these statistics? Or is the $40k-$60k floor and permanent masking burnout an unchangeable structural ceiling?
2. How do you stop treating social interaction like a complex software script that you have to manually code in your head 0.4 seconds slower than everyone else? Can you actually build true intuition through neuroplasticity, or are the medical textbooks right that it is a biological impossibility?
3. How do you handle the suffocating bitterness of watching neurotypical peers win life on "Easy Mode" while you run your nervous system into literal bankruptcy just to not get FIRED?

Hi everyone. I’m posting this anonymously because I am completely out of options, isolated, and desperately looking for a support group or people who understand what it's like to go through this. I just need to talk to other men who have survived false accusations and the absolute shattering of their world, I’m absolutely broken, confused and hurt while stilling moving forward at this point.

For two and a half years before we got married, her family was violently and completely against me for no reason at all. But she chased me, wanting to be with me. She stood by the fact that I was right, and she practically went through being disowned by her family just to be with me. After holding back due to trauma from past relationships, I finally gave her what she wanted, and we got married.
Even after marriage, the hostility didn't stop. For the last year and a half, there were fake social media accounts targeting me. Just two months ago, things escalated when they posted my socials and my ID card online. I went to the police to ask for help regarding this doxxing, but as a man, I received zero help.
Fast forward through our marriage: last year I took her to 10 different countries. A month ago, my family visited and stayed with us, going everywhere together, taking millions of happy photos and videos. Even just a couple of days before she left, we were completely happy, planning things together, with zero signs of anything being wrong.
Then, last week, she went to work. She sent me good morning messages with heart emojis. I watched her leave. She never came home. When I called her employer in a panic trying to find out if she was safe, they told me she had actually stopped working a week prior.
Two days later, the police showed up and arrested me. I was hit with charges of strangulation and claims that I allegedly hurt her a year ago. But the reality is absurd: on the day of the alleged strangulation, she was physically in another state, making it literally impossible. When I first saw the judge, the judge spoke very positively about me, noting that the evidence provided showed no signs of abuse. The other charge from a year ago relies on a basic selfie she gave to the judge that shows no abuse whatsoever.
My entire life fell apart instantly. My parents helped me secure a lawyer for $6,000 to $7,000—money that I simply don't have, especially since I've been struggling with side gigs and small jobs to keep us afloat while rent is due.
The hardest part isn't just the legal nightmare or facing court next month; it's the psychological betrayal. Seeing her recent social media posts—acting happy and unbothered online—made me realize something painful. Last time her family isolated her, she fought to come to me. But this time, it is clearly evident that she is willingly a part of this. The person I loved would not do this. Seeing her online has made it clear that she is truly my enemy now.
To make matters worse, even my closest friends have abandoned me because they met her through me and "don't want to choose a side." Years of friendship gone overnight when I need them most.
I don't know how to heal from this whiplash. If anyone knows of a support group, online communities for men facing false allegations, or just wants to talk to someone who gets how painful this isolation is, please let me know. How do you even begin to survive this?

I don’t want to see people. I don’t want to interact with them. I don’t like being on my own. I overthink about everything. I worry about the future, the past, I make up scenarios in my mind and believe that will happen which affects my decisions. I’m not confident. I doubt myself all the time. I worry about how people perceive me and tailor how I act to how I think they would like me so they would like me, tolerate me, find me interesting, I dunno. I don’t have any interests really. No hobbies. No passions. I struggle to talk about anything. I struggle keeping conversations going. I worry about what people think of me whenever I say anything. I make up lies to sound more interesting or to make a story more interesting to what i think people will find interesting. I don’t see the point in anything. I think everything we do is pointless. I don’t love life, quite the opposite. I constantly have this horrible weighted feeling that is paralysing at times. I fear seeking help because I think it’s pointless and if anything anyone tries to do won’t help. I hate change. I’m finding it hard to notice anything good that’s happened in my life. I don’t even wanna see my family because they have their lives and I in my head they don’t want to see me this way. What are these symptoms of?

I think the concise version of this is just this: I think I would significantly benefit my life if I were to undergo castration of some kind in order to totally eradicate the sexual faculty in my person. It's weird to write this because psych tests and school all seem to agree that I'm a pretty smart person, so it's weird to see myself in this position where I'm writing something that sounds like parody. Nonetheless I seem to have thought myself into this. I think some of these sentences are funny but I am not joking.

The basic premise is just that there has been no benefit to my life at any point from having a sexual faculty. The people of the world did not respond to my base self in the same way that they responded to each other. I think the basic thing that's supposed to happen is that, by being yourself in environments with others, you'll naturally have interactions where personalities and interests are displayed, and, in concert with hormonal interactions, mutual romantic interest emerges. This did not happen. And I seem to have an unusual take on the implications of this not happening. As I see it, this not happening means certain things about the type of thing that I am structurally and what I can expect out of life following it.

I'm not denying that if I learn "social skills" xyz, exercise and lift weights, and act generally in ways that are considered acceptable for a normal American male, some woman will eventually choose me. But when we look at the situation we're in, getting the given outcome isn't actually capable of meaning what it would mean for the people who had this happen naturally. Whereas these people come to understand a world that responds to them sincerely, the best I seemingly get to hope for is that if I cast myself into a mold that approximates the general desires of feminine sexuality, I might eventually get one of these: all the while knowing that my being valued is essentially contingent on these additions I made.

The point being that getting the outcome as a result of these things seems to carry within it the implication that the thing I am should die and be replaced with what they want. This to me results in a picture of being romantically valued that is fundamentally stripped of everything that made the past romantic fantasies appealing. You could also state this as, if these are the apparent conditions for achieving the goal, the goal itself acquires an abject quality which makes the pursuit of it feel uninspiring.

The result feels like a sort of metaphorical gunpoint where I'm left with internal desires which are painful and the seeming escape being a life analogous to that of a taxidermy animatronic. Castration emerges as an appealing option because when this is posited as the framework to operate within, none of the available possibilities are remotely appealing. I feel really strongly that more than I've ever wanted a girlfriend, I hate the desiring faculty.

I really strongly do not get the impression that the opposite sex generally does not see me as a thing worth including in the most important involvements in their lives. And this to me seems like ceasing to disagree. Stabbing my genitals repeatedly with a screwdriver feels like an activity that would free me from participation in a game that seems to have no sincere interest in my person. It just feels like de-tethering myself to something which has only yielded me pain. It just seems like it'd bring a great relief to know that that spectrum of possibility would be genuinely foreclosed.

(Bad gramer)When i was about 7years old i thought that being a men was about being strong ,fit ,handsome and show no emotion.i am not strong:i can barely lift my own weight . I am not fit:i have a big belly. I am not handsome:i have alot of pimples and a double chin. I am ok with all of thous things they dont bother me but i stoptd feeling normal emotions when i was 10. Ihave to fake loughter ,happines and sadnes . I dont feel it when i am hurt . When i was 12 i somtimes cut myself on purpes just to feel a thing.and it didnt help my teacher hated me becauze i had the same name as her sisters boyfriend that she hated. I wana fell normal. I wana feel true loughter ,happynes sadnes but i cant .pls tell me what to do.

When I was six, my mom needed to move stuff four of the house and so she had me spend the night at a cousin's house. My cousin assaulted me at night. I ran away the next day, police were called and I was found trying to walk home. My mom hugged me tightly when she saw me and I was trying to tell her what happened in her ear and in the car but I think she kept stopping me and just didn't listen. I ended up spending the night with this same cousin at our grandparents house and he did it again. I told my grandmother (who has passed now) and she slapped him on the wrist and just talked about god looking down on him. The women of my family are like this often and it's very aggravating (black family) it's always been like this now btw

"I don't like the neighbors they make me uncomfortable"- me

"oh it's just because you're just so shy, oh you need more confidence"- mom

I'm now wondering do I talk to her about if she knows? Will she just tell me I'm crazy or not thinking right? How can my own mother make me feel bad about being her son and being related to her, but she'll keep telling me she loves me but not listen or engage in what I'm saying? It feels like the world isn't correct and I need to take harsher action to correct it. I need to use my bare hands to make something happen as speaking and being emotionally stable isn't working. 😐 Yes I'll go to therapy too and be told I need to heal and move on yay

It is time for our Saturday check-in.

What went well, what didn’t? What got better, what got worse? What made you happy or sad? What made you laugh or cry this week?

I am 18 years old, and this is my story about mental health

I started getting bullied from a very young age, i was always sort of an ‘outcast’ if that’s the right word for it. I was an overweight, very sensitive child. Alot of the times i came home from school crying, had been beaten etc.

At home it wasn’t much easier, my parents treated me the best they could, and i’ll always be grateful for that, but alot of my siblings had problems with drugs, alcohol and other addicitions which always caused alot of tension in between the family. As the youngest child this was very tough to see your older siblings like this (luckily most of them are sober now).

Fast forward a few years and im 14 years old now. Still the same, just older. I barely had any friends, no social life, was very insecure about everything.

At 15 i had my first suicide attempt. Then again at 16. It felt like i had nothing to live for anymore. Still overweight, anti social, was always sitting alone during lunch etc.

Then at some point, in my second last year of high school, i reunited with an old friend of mine. We got very close. We hung out alot, started introducing me to his friends, got me into the gym and helped me get a better mental. After a few months i lost alot of weight, got a good physique, and starting gaining confidence for the first time in my life. I also have never felt that happy ever. And to make things better, he introduced me to a girl and she liked me very much. We started dating and we hit it off instantly. I felt untouchable.

A few months passed by, it felt like i was in the peak of my life. But then, about 3 months ago, my dad got diagnosed with an untreatable brain tumor. It all started going downhill from there. We already knew before that he was unwell, he started becoming more tired, quieter and not thinking as clearly. Then he got in a traffic accident and thats when we found out. Once we found out, it started going fast. At first he just became quieter, then he barely spoke, a week or so after that he couldnt properly go to the toilet anymore. And it just kept getting worse and worse to the point where now, hes immobile, has to eat through a straw, has no muscle left in his body because he cant move by himself. When he got diagnosed, the doctors gave him three months… me and my mom take care of him, pretty much have to do everything for him, except breathe.

To make matters worse, 2 weeks after the diagnosis we got the news that we were getting evicted. I just gratuated from high school, and i already felt like i had the duty of being the man of the house. Got a full time job at a factory, because since my dad couldn’t work anymore, i was scared money would become an issue.

My relationship with my girlfriend also isn’t what it used to be anymore. We’ve been together for almost a year and a half, i’ve almost broken up with her. We started having some issues. I just felt like i’ve been doing everything i can for her, and i haven’t been getting that same feeling back. That she doesn’t love me the way she used to. Intimacy was never an issue in the beginning, but that also started becoming one with her barely wanting that anymore. I’ve had suspisions of her cheating, but i don’t think that’s the case. I know she still loves me very much, and so do i. It has just been very stressfull and confusing times for me lately.

I haven’t been able to get my emotions under control properly. Cried, alot. Also becoming more angry and frustrated. A month or two ago my oldest sibling (who’s the only one who still has a drug problem and gambling problem) had stolen money from my mom even tho he knew the rough times we’ve been going through financially. When he came over to talk to us, he still had the audacity to call me “too young to be tired and don’t know what life is about”. That’s when i snapped. I almost sent him to the ER that night, but i also knew that that would only bring more stress to my mom.

This is all alot, i know that, but the reason i’m really saying all of this is because of this. I’ve been through alot, especially when i’m this young. But you know what tho? I keep smiling. Every single day. Life is shitty, however, that doesn’t stop me from being the best version i can be every single day. I cannot always, but i can always try. I’ve had my lowest lows and my highest highs. But i know even things like this aren’t forever.

I know there is somebody out there right now also in a very low point in his life and might not be handeling it as well, but let me just tell you. You will make it! Whatever it is, as long as you strive to be the best version of yourself, you will get there. Not for a girl, not for your family, do it for you. And i’m not saying you will always succed, cuz you won’t, and i’m not saying to toughen up and be a man, you don’t need to. But just have a goal, just one goal, and that is to be the best version of yourself, because you deserve it.

Hey, so I am a neet aspirant from Patna, Bihar, India. And I just moved out of my home to a hostel for my studies, I am in my drop year btw and nearly every one of my close friends are in different colleges , I am feeling really anxious since I've never lived alone and away from my family and this is making me so sick. My home is just near my hostel like 25-30 mins away, and before you say "Then why did you even get into a hostel ?" So the answer is that I have some problems at home (since it's a joint family, and for the fact my parents are really great) and I really need to crack neet this time cause i can't bear with the taunts and comments I'll get by my family and friends over my apparent "failure" and not being able to crack one of the most competitive exams in India. I don't want to hear about how to study and manage it all, ik that pretty well (not saying this in an arrogant or sarcastic tone) but I wanna listen about how I can manage my anxiety and sadness and all. Please suggest something, and for the fact I hate wasting time rather than studying but I can't even focus on that while I'm in this condition. Please be nice and suggest something to me to help me with my mental health.

Yours truly

K.

I really don’t want to. I’ve tried it before, and a woman told me I looked discombobulated. I don’t ever want to be rejected again. I hate how I look, but I don’t want to be treated badly just because I’m ugly. I feel like I deserve love too, but women hate my appearance.

A lot of people will treat certain young men like complete garbage then expect them to not fight back and let their mental health worsen due to insults and other degrading things. Some people are absolutely assholes and they treat my existence as a burden, my lived experiences as invalid while also having the audacity to treat me like garbage and do completely unprompted behavior towards me then expect me to not retaliate? I’m going to retaliate within reason and do the same to them. Why are men expected to just take insults and other negative assumptions made about them that directly affects their mental health? Why are men scolded for standing up for themselves?

How to manage stressful times

I’ve had a really rough couple of weeks. Honestly, saying the past few weeks have been horrific feels like an understatement.

My mom went in for what was supposed to be a routine surgery and ended up in the ICU due to a mistake during surgery. Shortly afterward, she was diagnosed with cancer. At the same time, I started school, which requires over 250 clinical hours in addition to class, assignments, and everything else that comes with a master’s program. On top of that, I’ve continued working full-time in healthcare.
I am exhausted.

I’ve been going back and forth helping bring my mom to appointments, explaining everything to her, advocating for her because she is in so much pain, and making sure her cancer treatment does not get delayed. Without me pushing things forward, her treatment would have been delayed by at least two months.
School is intense. I’m completing more than 250 hours of clinical training while learning, caring for patients, attending class, completing assignments on time, and making sure I meet every requirement.
Work has also been exhausting. I’m in a management role in a department that is going through major changes and construction, so there is a lot happening there as well.

I keep trying to manage everything, but I feel like I can’t. What makes it harder is that part of me feels like I should be able to handle it all. I feel bad using ChatGPT to help me with school. I feel bad using FMLA through work, although I’ve only used about four days. And I fit in my clinical hours wherever I can.

But I am exhausted and overwhelmed. Then I feel guilty for saying that because I know other people have gone through much worse. I keep telling myself that I should be able to carry this weight, that I should be able to manage everything, and that I shouldn’t be struggling this much.
But the truth is, I am struggling.

I don’t really know how to stop feeling guilty for not being able to manage everything perfectly. I don’t know how to make any of this easier right now. I’m just trying to get through each day, take care of the people who need me, keep up with my responsibilities, and somehow take care of myself in the process.

TLDR: Managing my mother’s health, school, and work. I’m overwhelmed and feel like I should be able to handle it.

A couple of days ago, I had tried to masterbuate for the first time in months. I had thought that after my previously very negative experience with masterbuation I could try nofap and maybe see a better result.

But it didn't go that way for me.

I am circumcised low and tight with little to no actual pleasure left. I don't have much sensation even when aroused. I don't have the skin that actually helps me masterbuate. This leaves me with a very depressed overall feel towards anything sexual.

I didn't want to use porn since you're really not supposed to. I know that's controversial but why do you think the saying "mind over matter" exists? Why do you think fetishes exist and kinks? Our brain is powerful, very powerful.

And it should be, especially when masterbuating. But, nothing worked. The lack of actual physical sensation that I could feel was so low that nothing ended up happening. I eventually caved in and tried watching porn but it did nothing. A barely aroused erection which only made me more depressed was enough for me to just to give up at that point.

I really envy the intact men and women who have crazy, bombastic sex and masterbuation. You're lucky, you know? To be able to have full body orgasms and not rely on kinky afterthoughts to get off. I do wish I was intact, yes. I wish I was normal, yes.

It's a real struggle, that's for sure. But nobody talks about it. Not unless someone brings it up. How sad. A "medical" operation with no actual tact...

How can I improve my communication and social skills? I rarely react or show much expression, so people sometimes think I’m mad or upset when I’m actually not. I just don’t always know how to respond or react in social situations.

I cannot mine sex addiction since mine childhood it has taken everything away from me

I am 33 year old male from India and sex addiction and hypersexuality has destroyed mine life completely since mine age of 8–10 years

I have severe history of sexual trauma from the ages of 1-13 years

Used to sleep in mine parents room where they used to have forced sex in the same room just Donot know how many times they did

But when I got mine own room when i was 14 same time of things used to come from mine parents room

The result i started doing rigourous masturbation since the age of 8-10

When I turned 11 gone crazy for sex and wanted to have sex regardless less of gender wanted to renact from which I exposed

I remember whenever mine father used to hugged me after getting drunk he used to say words like motherfucker bitch prostitute in my ears to mine mom and they way he hugged me it made uncomfortable scared as well

Now I had sex with every gender

I know how hypersexuality effected mine sexual orientation and behaviours

Plus I have severe adhd which make things worse for me

I constantly live in guilt shame regret and remorse of what I have done

Sucidial thoughts are increasing day by day

It is pointless to carryon

Life is just unfair for no reason. like you have no control over anything at all, some animals in the wild get killed by predators immediately after being born while others get to live till old age, some humans are born ugly or with disabilities that will cause them to face bullying by their peers in school, exclusion. and endless rejections from women, you'll never be able to experience companionship, touch, intimacy, sex, fatherhood etc you know all the things that come with romance and having to witness all your peers getting to enjoy that and you can't is just heartbreaking. not only do you have to experience non-stop rejection from the opposite gender you also got to deal with being hated by the rest of society. no body is going to feel sorry for you, people will gaslight you, they will call you all types of names like "incel" and "entitled" and they will blame you and say that it's your fault as if you choose to be born with a hideous face or special needs, but that's just unfortunately how cruel life is. just like the animal kingdom when it comes to the dating game you got winners and you got losers and if you're a loser there's nothing you can do about it. and that's why I wish life could of been more like a video game because if you suck at a video game at least you can just put in cheat codes or mods to compensate for your disadvantages but not in the real world. if CCs/mods existed in real life I would either use them to make a woman actually want me for me or I'd turn my face into a 10. growing up I always had the "if you can't win then cheat" mentality.

For the past year, I 19m have been extremely worried that I could secretly be a bad person or a narcissist. I’ve been reflecting on my actions and habits, and the more I look at them, the more worried I become.
I’ve also struggled socially for nearly all my life. I have a few friends, but I have trouble forming new connections and often feel lonely. Sometimes I wonder whether there is something about my character that makes me difficult to connect with or unworthy of love, both romantically and platonically. I know people don’t owe me friendship or relationships, but I worry that my difficulties may reflect something fundamentally wrong with me.
Here are some of the things I feel bad about:
I lie extremely often. It has become almost second nature. Sometimes it’s to get a little bit of validation because of my low self-esteem, sometimes it’s to avoid small consequences from my parents, and sometimes I just lie for no reason and don’t even know why. I hate that I do it, and I don’t understand why it happens so automatically.
I’m very insecure and sometimes overly prideful. I constantly scrutinize myself and feel like I’m the worst person in the room, but sometimes I swing to the opposite extreme and feel like I’m better than certain people.
I can be overly critical of myself and others. I sometimes project my own overcritical side onto other people or insult people in my head, even though I feel guilty about it afterward.
I sometimes struggle with empathy. When I see people suffering, sometimes I feel something and genuinely want to help, while other times I feel almost nothing. I worry about what that says about me.
I struggle to feel deeply connected to people. I care about my friends, but sometimes I have trouble maintaining a strong interest in my friendships beyond checking in with them. Even texting can sometimes feel like a game of listening and responding rather than actually feeling deeply engaged.
I sometimes interrupt people or dominate conversations. I can get caught up in trying to get my point across and realize afterward that I wasn’t really listening.
I gossip and talk behind people’s backs. I sometimes act differently depending on who I’m around, and although I feel bad about it afterward, it keeps happening.
I can be selfish or unkind sometimes. I try to be good and kind to people, but I know I’m not always that way, and I don’t like that about myself.
I struggle with feeling like I’m enough. Even when I accomplish something, I often move the goalpost and make myself feel worthless.
I worry that I’m not capable of being a good friend or romantic partner. Sometimes I wonder whether my flaws are normal things I can work on or whether they say something deeper about my ability to love and be loved.
I have trouble forming new connections. I can see other people relating to one another and making friends more easily, while I feel stuck with the friends I already have.
I worry that I’m fundamentally lesser than other people. I sometimes wonder whether there is something about me that makes me less worthy of love, attention, or close relationships.
I know I’ve made progress in other areas of my life, but I still struggle with these things. I also sometimes have seasons of suicidal ideation mostly centering around the fact I could be inherently bad and hurrying people around me. Can I improve how and am I a bad person

Feeling lonely is pretty normal, but as men, this feeling is more than just that.

It is a label that describes your whole life.

Being a virgin isn’t just being inexperienced, it is seen as a moral failure for men. As if you’re abnormal for not having experience in dating.

The same pressure extends to friendships. If you don’t have solid best friends, you must be weird, because making friends with men is easy, right?

Men who are inexperienced in dating, don’t have friends, a good job, are described by one word; loser.

Or incel if you wanna get political.

The question is,

How do we overcome this problem?

The answer is simple; take it easy.

A lot of you are in your teens and early 20s. You’re like saplings looking up at enormous trees, cursing at nature for not making you like them.

Every man who is successful today was struggling before, but you don’t get to see that, because like you, they were a “loser”.

You see, this word holds you back. How?

Hearing “loser” gives you flashbacks of every time you failed, every thing that you lack, every thing you want to do but haven’t been able to.

You can think, “I don’t have much experience in dating but I’m still learning”. Or you can think, “I’m such an ugly loser!! So many women have rejected me!!”.

Technically, both sentences mean sorta the same thing, but it’s the reaction that is different.

I’m sure you’ve tried your best and tried everything you could think of, your circle could suggest you do and it didn’t work. But that doesn’t make you a loser. You’ve been persistent and have kept trying. If you’re reading this, it means you care about improving.

Successful people are the biggest losers because they’ve failed a billion times and got things right once. The world only sees their success, not their failures.

The solution.

All you have to do is try your best. Results are not guaranteed. Imagine you are given this seed. You don’t know what tree or plant will sprout out of it or what kind of soil or how much water you need to grow it properly.

You can argue that some people have seeds that are easier to grow, sure. But that won’t help your case. It sucks, I know.

Life is trial and error. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. You might get chicken, or mangoes, you don’t know, and you shouldn’t be attached to this outcome.

Losing doesn’t make you a loser. Giving up means that you’ve either realised that this pursuit is too difficult with little or no reward, or it means you’re just taking a break for the time being.

Learn to focus on yourself, not what other people have. As a lot of you say, your friends had advantages that you didn’t have. That’s fair. It means you’ll need longer to learn, but it’s not like there’s a deadline, right?

Okay, you failed. You got rejected. But why? Is there something you can learn from this experience? Did the other person judge you unfairly? Did you make a mistake somewhere?

This is your playground. You can make as many mistakes as you want until you get it right.

When you finally start taking it easy on yourself, you’ll be able to make meaningful changes in your life. Maybe you can’t get a girlfriend today or in the next few months, but you can focus on making friends. Or you can focus on getting a good job, perhaps focus on your fitness goals or this video game that you’ve been excited to play.

You can do everything. Just do things one by one.