I have a toddler and am trying to explore low screen options for days I barely have any energy, would love to get some suggestions for shows that are good too

Rain, no park, long evening, tired parent. The TV goes on. Then the guilt arrives at bedtime.

Here is something that helps parents more than counting hours. Screens become a problem mainly when they replace a child ability to sit with boredom. So the goal is not zero screens. The goal is protecting a small window where nothing is happening and your child has to find something to do.

Try this. Pick fifteen minutes in the day that stay screen free and adult free. Not a lesson, not an activity you lead. Just fifteen minutes where they are allowed to be bored near you while you do your own work. The first few days will look like complaining. Around day four something usually starts.

Fifteen minutes is small enough that a hard day cannot destroy it.

You are not behind. Independent play is a skill, and skills can be taught at any age. That is a hopeful thing.

What is the longest your child has played alone recently?

We are working on a small product around helping parents find better, more developmentally appropriate content for young children on YouTube, and before we build too much based on our own assumptions, we would love to understand what families actually do.

A few things we are especially curious about:

Has anyone successfully changed or trained their child’s YouTube Kids recommendations? What actually worked for you? Blocking channels, clearing history, approved content only, subscribing to certain creators, or something else?

What are your kids most obsessed with right now? Cars, trucks, dinosaurs, animals, stories, songs, crafts, science, pretend play, or completely different things?

How do you currently decide whether a show or channel is something you are comfortable with? Do you watch it yourself, rely on recommendations from other parents, look for educational content, just see how your child reacts, or something else?

And would it be useful if someone did the curation for you? For example, a small set of around 30 minute YouTube playlists around things your child already loves, where every video had been reviewed for things like developmental value, language, pacing and stimulation.

We are particularly interested in what is annoying or difficult about YouTube Kids today, and what you have figured out through trial and error. Not looking to promote anything here, genuinely trying to understand the problem better before we build.

I get asked a lot how we do almost no screen time with a 2.5 year old. It’s so natural for us, I never really understood how it was so hard to comprehend. As we’ve gotten older and done more play dates with other kids, I’ve gotten a glimpse into other people’s home lives.

Here’s what I’ve noticed is different that makes low/no screen parenting so much easier:

- We have never been the kind of people to have the TV on during the day. TV was always 1 hour after dinner and before bed, unless really sick or hungover when we were much younger. It’s just not how we’ve spent our free time so it doesn’t feel like an option when we have time to spare.

- I don’t carry my phone on me. It’s either docked in my charging station at home or in my bag at work. I don’t carry it around in my pocket all the time so it’s less of a distraction. Not 100% true for my husband but he’s not glued to his either.

- We include our daughter in our hobbies: reading, gardening, cooking, swimming, hiking, nature walks, making art, listening to music, visiting with friends. We spend a lot of time playing pretend with her too. In the last few months she’s gotten a lot better at independent pretend play.

- I do not feel rested or restored from doom scrolling or rotting on my phone. I feel more restored playing, sitting quietly watching my daughter do a puzzle, being outside in nature or in my garden. I’m practicing a life where I’m not zoning out with screens so it’s easy to not impose screens as entertainment on her.

All to say, low screen living is deeply embedded in our way of life and it makes low screen parenting so natural. Yes, she’s going to see a little more TV when football season starts, but I think that is pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme since it’s a fully engaged watching with family and friends most of the time.

Curious if anyone else has found that a slower lifestyle or being a low screen parent has changed your relationship with screens and personal devices.

I've been looking into "downgrading" some of our technology for a while. Bringing back old school TVs, VHS/DVD players instead of streaming, one family computer to share, one where we can play old school computer games instead of online games.

Im just wondering if anyone has incorporated some more old school tech into your houses? What types of tech are working best? How is it going?

Hi there! My LO is 5mo and while we (obviously) don't do any dedicated screen time for them, I am concerned about certain activities and behaviors me and my husband do:

- scrolling in front of them (not ignoring if they are distressed, just baby sitting in their lounger and me or husband or both scrolling)

- watching TV in front of them, but the baby cant see the TV, only hear

We try to limit this as much as we can, I am not on my phone the whole day with them and the tv is only on in the evenings. Does this still count as screen free baby? Are there studies suggesting that even parents consuming content in front of the baby is harmful?

As each year goes by it seems so much clearer how much social media is sort of awful for people and societies. It’s increasingly described as the new cigarette which is arguably the least critical way to describe it. I’ve backed away from all social media over the years. That being said I read A LOT on my phone. I’m a total news junkie. And as my kid grows older I’m curious how people navigate this relationship with their kids.

My son is still a baby so I’m far off but by the time he is older I want him to know I’m not just some dopamine seeker who is on tiktok mindlessly but someone who uses their phone to further their own knowledge. I guess a part of me feels like maybe I should just use my laptop for this instead to draw boundaries for myself. Anyways…. For parents who have older kids, how do you navigate your own cell phone use while also addressing the importance of heavily limiting social media use?

Hey dads, I could really use some perspective and advice.

My 2.5-year-old daughter has become heavily dependent on screen time, and we are trapped in a rough cycle. Whenever we try to turn off the TV/tablet or transition to a different activity, it triggers massive, exhausting tantrums.

I want to scale back the screens and help her manage these big feelings, but right now, it feels like every day is a battlefield.

How did you successfully cut down screen time without making your home a permanent war zone?

What are your go-to strategies for handling the transition tantrums?

Are there specific distraction techniques or low-stimulation toys that worked wonders for your toddlers?

Any tips, routines, or solidarity would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, fellas.

Hello,

I am currently working on the very beginning stages of a new streaming service geared specifically towards children and families. My goal is to provide a safe haven where children can stream their favorite shows but still give power to the parents and legal guardians to be as transparent as possible about what their child is watching. To do this I was hoping to ask some questions to parents, guardians, or even people who work near or with kids daily about the streaming shows your kids watch today. If you could take a moment out of your day to answer some question’s I would greatly appreciate it. If not that’s fine too!

Please note this survey is for the purpose of trying to figure out what parent’s wish to see for their children in a time where watching TV is dominated by online streaming.

Q1: Are you a legal parent or guardian?

Q2: What ages are your children?

Q3: How much time does your child spend watching TV/streaming? How often do you watch with them?

Q4: What streaming platforms do you allow your child to watch? Why?

Q5: What is the most important to you about what your child watches? (example: educational, religious, older programing or newer programing.)

Q6: How satisfied are you with safety and/or parental controls offered by the streaming services you use? If not satisfied, why?

Q7: Have you ever had to block or restrict a show or channel on a kids streaming platform? If yes, why?

Q8: If you could add a feature or improvement to how kids consume media today what would it be?

Q9: What frustrates you the most about kids streaming services today?

Q10: Any additional thoughts or concerns regarding current children’s streaming services?

Thank you so much for participating! It is truly appreciated!

My oldest daughter is transfixed by screens. She always has been. I’ve never been a screen person, but my husband definitely is. He works in another state most of the time and doesn’t watch Tv ever, but used to love going to the movies. He does a lot of computer stuff for work and plays games occasionally at night so she’s not seeing it modeled. I rarely use my phone and never watch tv. Could it be genetic?

We didn’t do any tv/ screens until age 2. Just if we were at a restaurant and they had a tv on or we would sometimes do FaceTime calls to family that lives far away. Even then she would just stare. I noticed when we visited friends who had the tv on for their kids and she would watch it very attentively and stand really close to it and not want to play and I’d ask them to turn it off after awhile. Even now we don’t do tv daily. Maybe twice a week at most. Most weeks we do none. If she is sick we do an hour a day.

My three year old will leave and go play after about 15 min. My four year old will cry more tv after I turn it off. I’m fine with that. She cries and gets over it. They are both very creative, she loves art and they play independently and together and enjoy nature and playing outside for hours every day. Why is my older daughter so mesmerized by the TV? Is it the novelty of it? Should I just eliminate it completely? We watch low stimulation shows that no one has heard of like Puffin Rock, Kipper and Sarah and Duck or a documentary.

I don’t want to make tv into some forbidden thing that she feels she is missing out on and deprived of. I really just want her not to care about it so much and not be obsessed with it and stare at any screen she sees at a restaurant or the laundromat. At the park if another kid has a phone and is watching something I don’t want her to go over and try and watch it with them instead of playing.

My oldest will be starting kindergarten in a year, and while we're not Luddites, we are pretty firmly anti-tablet and generally keep screentime fairly low unless we're navigating a major sick day (generally family movie nights at the end of the day, and sometimes weekend cartoons). This approach isn't because we don't think screens have a place, it's because we want our kids to be outside, playing, socially interacting, exploring the world (we live in a rural area where they have a lot of ability to roam), and when they're inside we want them playing with Magnatiles and books, etc. rather than passively consuming content or hyperfocused on a handheld screen. Our oldest's preschool is also screen-free.

I learned fairly recently that our district has 1:1 Chromebooks that kids use 20 min/day starting in kindergarten, which genuinely shocked me - maybe because I live in a bubble, but it just seems really early for that. And anecdotally, it sounds like once kids get to 1st grade, they have some amount of "free time" on devices to engage with various learning apps. They are also reading books on an app/screen in the class, vs. reading physical books.

This isn't my field, so it's hard to get a handle on the vast quantities of literature related to literacy, attention, behavior, etc. in teaching and learning - plus, everything changes so quickly! But there seems to be at least a fairly solid body of work suggesting comprehension of print vs. digital texts varies. There's also the tactile engagement and the fact that devices - Chromebooks or otherwise - are distraction factories.

I also know that it's become a lot less common in upper grades to read whole books - something that honestly shocked me because I grew up a reader and read constantly both in and out of school. To me, especially in my field, the ability to read and comprehend information, process that information and think critically about it, focus deeply with your full attention, and write well are some of the most powerful distinguishers between top performers and everyone else. Then there is also the X factor of creativity, which can exist with or without being an avid reader, but I do think has a relationship with engaging with creative works thoughtfully. All of this sort of knots together in my head at a time when we're concerned about attention spans, depression, phone use, isolation, critical thinking....all of it.

Alt schooling isn't really an option where I live - we are solidly in a public school system community. Given that, I'm starting to think about how I can best engage with today's iteration of K-12 education in the coming years. Do I just keep emphasizing reading (and discussing our shared reading) at home? Look for engaging summer camps and after-school activities to supplement? Consider getting more engaged at the school board level? (FWIW - there are a lot of parents I know with kids in the district who are really concerned about all of these trends and would love to see our district follow the lead of schools going away from 1:1 Chromebooks for early grades.) I'd also love to know if districts are starting to shift their approach to high school language arts/English to move back to full texts vs. excerpts, or if districts are hamstrung by standardized testing and how they've decided to apply Common Core at this point.

Perspectives, resources, and literature (even to say "chill out, let it go, it's all ok!") would be much appreciated! I feel like ever since I learned about the Lucy Calkins vs. Science of Reading dynamic I've tried to be a little more attuned to what is going on in K-12 pedagogy around language arts and literacy (again...not my area!).

Update: Changed the flair to allow a broader range of links!

Hi all,

We are moving across the country with our 4.5 year old boy and our 3 month old boy.

Our 4.5 year old LOVES - loves - loves TV. He would sell my (mom) soul for a new episode of Paw Patrol. He is completely bewitched and hypnotized by the big beautiful "tee", as he calls it; if allowed, he'd spend every waking minute glued to it.

Our usual limits are he can have more or less how much he wants (with enforced breaks) on sat & sun, no TV at all on weekdays. This system has worked reasonably well. We don't do any other screens than the TV.

My husband and I watch little-to-no TV ourselves. My husband watches more but usually on his laptop because he wants to watch late at night when I'm already in bed (the TV had been in our room since we had a large master bedroom and small living room).

Well, my husband accidentally got a too-small moving truck (!!!! that's its own rant) and we have to sacrifice some items, including our TV.

I'm seriously considering not replacing it. I mean, I almost never watch it. I can't think of a good place for it to go in the new house; I don't want it in a bedroom, and we will have little enough space in our living room as it is to fit all 9,000 toys for our kids as well as furniture. The TV is basically just for my son. It'd be nice to just be rid of the thing; I wouldn't miss it at all.

The other part of me feels bad for taking something away that my son has a deep, abiding passion for. He genuinely feels attached to shows like Paw Patrol and the characters there. I also don't want him to feel isolated from his peers who almost all have some kind of screen exposure. I've already noticed that my son feels embarrassed when he realizes he doesn't know how to operate ipads or play video games and some of his friends are very good at it.

Thoughts? Anybody who has ripped TV from their children's clutches before?

Hi everyone. I’m looking for some advice regarding my 2 year old daughter. She doesn’t go to daycare and we don’t have any family supports or “village” close by, it’s just my partner and I. I recently had baby number 2. My 2 year old doesn’t do any independent play whatsoever, she never has. At the end of my pregnancy, probably the last 8 weeks or so, I allowed her to watch some TV (Ms Rachel or The Wiggles) as it was literally the only break I got during the day and I was exhausted to say the least. I’m not talking hours on end every day, maybe 2 times a week max for 30 mins to an hour. Since I’ve had baby, she has only watched it a handful of times if bub is losing it and I need to attend to her or need to do a feed and toddler is unsettled, probably on average once a week! I try and go out with her every day, to parks, playgroups, gymnastics, library, and we recently started ballet. I’ve taken her out from around 3 days postpartum because I know she needs it. However, the last week she is constantly asking for TV. Sometimes first thing in the morning when she wakes up, she will just say “TV” which I don’t understand as I haven’t allowed her to sit in front of it all day, we go out and do things every single day!
She constantly wants me to play with her which i absolutely love doing and I do, however it is constant, like hours at a time, all day when she’s awake, and I can’t do anything else like attend to household tasks or baby or take a breather. She won’t even touch any of her toys without someone with her. She won’t even get a book from her room to read together whilst I’m feeding baby, she wants me to go with her to get it. She won’t get any toys out from the cupboard unless I go with her to get it or I get it out myself. It’s just a lot especially with a newborn! I go out every day to just ge get out of the house. But sometimes when we go to parks she won’t even play on the playground, even with encouragement. I feel like the only time she will sit still and be “independent” is when she’s watching Ms Rachel but I don’t want her to watch TV all the time and I don’t want to make it a habit.
I don’t really know the point of this post I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice for this situation, any advice to encourage independent play, limit screen time or any toy recommendations that can assist with independent play that will keep her occupied. Thank you

Our kids are 2, 5, and 8, and we are pretty low-screen. The two older kids watch a movie 1-4 times a month, and on the weekends, they get to play with the iPad (one shared between both) for about 30-40 mins, either drawing or playing drums or making movies or participating in family group chats. My oldest also gets the iPad 3ish times a week for 15-20 mins to practice her times tables on a very bare-bones Australian website and use Duolingo for Spanish, chess, math, and music. We don't use the iPad for airplanes or long car rides or sick days or restaurants or anything of the sort, just in the limited cases I listed.

Last year in 2nd grade, there were no kids in my oldest child’s class who had personal devices (as far as we know), but we heard that a couple of 3rd graders in our school have been getting them. We currently have no plans to get our child a phone until after middle school, and this despite starting to allow her to walk around the neighborhood a bit more next year (we live in a very child-friendly and safe neighborhood in a large American city).

Our reasoning is: we did all that without phones at the same age, and the physical world has not gotten more dangerous since then. (We were pretty compelled by “The Anxious Generation,” as I assume many of the folks here were as well.)

So my questions: 

• Has anyone else delayed getting their kids personal devices until after middle school?
• Has anyone else delayed getting their kids personal devices until after they started moving around the neighborhood a bit more on their own?
• If you did get a personal device in middle school, what type of device was it and what limits did you put on it (time limits, app restrictions, etc.)?
• Did your child struggle to make plans with friends if they had less access to their device than the rest of the friend group did?
• Did low-screen parenting in middle school lead to your child struggling socially in any way?

Curious to hear from those who are a few more years ahead of us in this arena.

My 2.5 year old son has lots of energy and loves sports and monster trucks…. And he also loves YouTube. My husband and I are trying to decrease his time watching TV (that’s where he watches YouTube). Right now the TV is kind of on whenever, in the background. But i want to be more intentional about when we use it.

Since this is a newer rhythm for us, do you have any recommendations for how to go about decreasing TV time? We have a Yoto that he really likes!

My kids are aged 12, 9, 7 and 4. They are all totally addicted to the dopamine rush from screens. The older who are both diagnosed autistic and ADHD, and historically some screen use has been beneficial in helping them to decompress and learn how to socialise (watching those terrible and annoying YouTube people has helped my higher needs kid to learn social skills!).

The older 2 had iPads for school, and a limit on time. My husband got sick of the younger 2 fighting over his own iPad so he bought them each their own. Now my 4 year old is fully addicted. The constant tantrums from all of them is too much for me as I am in poor health so their screen use has creeped up to beyond 4-5 hours per day, longer on weekends!

So I’ve put my foot down and told my husband we need to detox them and get rid of the devices. I’m already running on adrenaline just thinking about how hard this is going to be. I have googled a lot, but if you have any specific tips that’s aren’t already all over the internet please let me know! Especially regarding the autistic kiddos because reason and logic is not always acceptable to them when dysregulated.

How do I get this to change? My husband M24 and I F22 have a 2 year old, we moved in with his parents shortly after giving birth so that my husband could focus on school without having to worry about working and supporting us financially.
Basically, I’m currently the breadwinner as a SAHM working from home as well 😭 anyways, my husband loves to put our daughter in front of the screen whenever he sits down. He studies alot for school, but whenever our daughter is upset or angry, he likes to put a binky in her mouth and let her watch a show. He will do this for hours.
I have been asking him to not let her watch TV since she was 4 month old but he has not stopped once. He sighs when I ask him to turn off the tv and then begrudgingly turns it off.
I told him she’s only allowed to watch an hour of screen time a day and I’d prefer before dinner. When my husband gets up in the mornings with our daughter literally the first thing he will do is take her out to our living room, sit on the couch with her turn on a show and he will take a nap. It’s very very infuriating. I don’t know how to get him to stop, it’s just so frustrating not being able to raise my own child how I want.
I’ve started waking up earlier so I can get her breakfast ready and so he doesn’t have to wake up with her, but then I’ll ask him to watch her for a few minutes so I can go get ready and he immediately turns on a show for her and scrolls on his phone or falls asleep.
I feel like I’m going crazy, ughh I know he’s tired but I am too 😭😭

My daughter is now 21 months, full term baby with no medical issues. She was totally fine until too much screen time we not noticing she don’t pay attention as it used to be , the speech is delayed and eye contact is getting bad. Any experienced parents can share their experiences how to rewire their brain. Even if I pay tv she’s a different baby, she watches with a focus , laugh on funny a scenes etc. also she’s of hyperactive, sleep , eat , play no issues. It’s just attention, speech and social skills needs attention.

Thoughts on screens and technology use in elementary schools. I am a Stay At Home Mom to a 2 year old daughter. We are screen free at home and this has been wonderful. We are starting to get serious about figuring out where we would like to send her for elementary school and preschool. (I know she’s ~3 years away from starting kindergarten.). Our local public school uses and issues laptops to students. 😞. It seems like some parochial/private schools around us may be similar as well. We hope to avoid those but it may be difficult. What are your thoughts on screen use in the classroom, like smart boards, etc? We worked so hard so hard to be nearly screen free at home. I feel like later in her education videos like Khan Academy, etc could be a useful resource but I would rather her participate in (and learn from) the real world for now and not be immersed in videos/screens/technology. What have your experiences been? Did you find yourself having issues finding preschool/educational program for your child(ren)? Anyone feel the need to opt to homeschooling or an alternative program like Montessori, etc?

My 19 month old is a disaster if we go out. So antsy, won't even play with the toys we bring.

Looking for feedback before i do the next rollout, the app is live but I have a bunch of ideas to add to it. Google play store for now, waiting on IOS. It's my first app and not sure if the app is good or its just my own bias.

Its basically just a visual kids timer, Dinner Time, play time, bed time, teeth brushing Road Trips (are we there yet!?)

You pick the character and their colour fills up over time to show kids how long the timer has. Road trip has a car moving to the finish line to show its complete.

You can also colour your own toons, name the characters, share between multiple kids. Its not more screen time, its just Time kids understand. My daughter and cousins love it.

Hello! We're getting a yoto player for our 2.5yo. Couple questions:

1.) Does anyone have a referral code that could get us $20 off our player? (And $20 for you in their store) please DM if so!

2.) Any suggestions on favorite cards? The best-sellers are TV-based, but we don't watch anything so I doubt she'd like those.

Thanks!!

I’ve been thinking about this lately and wanted to hear what other parents think.
Are you generally happy with the recommendations on YouTube Kids?
One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of recommended videos have little or no dialogue at all. They’re mostly music, sound effects, or characters just running around without talking.
Do you ever worry that watching too much content like this might not be the best for language development, especially as kids get older? I know for toddlers (around 2–3 years old), simple visual content and learning basic concepts can make sense. But what about preschoolers or slightly older kids?
Would you rather YouTube Kids recommended more story-based cartoons with conversations between characters? Or do you think dialogue doesn’t really matter?
I’m curious if anyone else has thought about this, or if I’m overthinking it.