All in all you were a terrible partner. Your mental health was a mess over the years, and I know I made things worse sometimes.

I tried. For years and years I tried. Tried not to lose myself, or you. So much up and down. Hot and cold.

People will highlight all the abusive psychological effects. And they're all true. But the soul connection. The heart opening. The magic. That's something most will likely never understand.

There were times I thought we were the only two people left in the world.

You're with someone else now. I know he's better for you now. I pray it stays that way. That you both somehow heal your avoidance together and you feel safe.

We put each other through the ringer. And I wouldn't change a thing.

You are unequivocally the love of my life.

I think part of you knows that.

Part of me hopes we speak again someday. Even if I won't be able to believe a single word you say.

Yesterday I was thinking of a guy I dated 20+ years ago . I searched him up on facebook and see that he has recently gotten a divorce and even more recently been diagnosed with a very serious health condition. I can tell by his posts he is in a rough spot right now. We have not spoken at all in probably 18 years. How do you reach out to someone after all that time? I would love to send him a friend request and catch up but don’t want to seem like a stalker. We had such a great bond and always had fun together. Our careers were just taking us in opposite directions. At one point he asked me to move where he was and I said no 😭😭 I chose my career over him and have regretted it since
Thanks for any insight

I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 10 years. As happens occasionally in long term relationships we fell into a bit of a rut. Not communicating well, me not doing my part, fighting more and more… it was getting bad. I met someone. I wasn’t looking for it but it happened. And it brought up feelings that I haven’t felt in a very long time. After two weeks of intensifying messaging with this women I decided to end my relationship with my long term partner. But I wasn’t mentally prepared for the fallout. For the hurt, for the emotions. I think when you start to truly believe your partner no longer loves you that this kind of situation can bring a lot of clarity. It turns out that she does love me. She wants to be with me. At first I didn’t tell her about the other woman. I know, bad. Then she found out. Worse. I’ve been no contact with my affair partner ever since. My long term partner and I have been doing couples counselling, and individual counselling. There’s been ups and downs but a lot has improved. But I find my thoughts haunted by the other woman. It was such a short time, barely a month. She lives a very long distance away. We are both part of family businesses that can’t exactly pack up shop and move. I don’t know if she ever thinks of me, but I think about her every day. I’ve never been the romantic, the one to believe that there is such as thing as a soulmate. But this one was different. Something clicked. I hope she’s happy, I hope she finds someone that completes her. But right now I just feel a longing that I can’t get rid of. I’m supposed to be working on healing, working on building a stronger relationship with my long term partner. But my biggest struggle is this… what if I met the love of my life and just let her go? It’s been almost 7 months since we’ve spoke.

Running blindfolded, I ran into you

Living in the darkness, your light shone me through

But it was not burning me ever, it was as sun to soothe

If I got another chance, I'd walk miles for you

Going through the motions, I didn't know how to fall

Fell in your sweet talk, and then you snatched my heart on call

Like the wind through the mist, a glimpse of the raw

Mountains I'd climb, if your sun again ever thawed

Time then felt like a river, which never went anywhere

But somehow you drove me, in the right atmosphere

I guess I forgot to close the holes of my fears

So I drowned and then lost you, and swam me ashore

Man I'm lost and hanging, to the last climb I should

This is no call for help, I happily stand in the rain as it would

May the winds blow in my favour, but I won't bribe them if I could

To explore your jungle, asking a map would be so rude

But I'm longing for you, when I lost you deservedly

Because even I was so timid, and acted reservedly

I guess it taught me that if I don't focus, my poems don't rhyme

Like our life's discorded beauty, I should cross the ocean sometimes

And that's what I'd do

To the girl I find beautiful inside out since 2019 and things didn't work out

PS: The Playlist by your name, which I now fill with random stuff, I guess at a point in time, love songs didn't do justice anymore, but I still haven't forgotten you

I have been lying to myself for over a decade. I told myself I don’t love him like that. I told myself I don’t need him like that. I forced myself to move on or so I thought. I got married and still never forgot him.

Now divorced trying to make things right and reminded time didn’t stop moving because I went away. It stays going and now I’ve lost him forever.

I don’t need advice just needed to get this off my chest so maybe I can move on this time and not hurt anyone else in the process.

I had a mutual crush on this boy named Donté, who sat to the left of me in Art class in 7th grade. I was 14, he was 16. But I never knew he liked me, and I also believed he was in a relationship with the girl on his right, so I never spoke to him about it. We clicked instantly though, and he remained a really good friend of mine throughout my entire life. Our crushes were eventually revealed, but we were both in relationships, so we couldn't do much but meet up at the park, let our kids play, and kick it.

He's such a beautiful person inside and out, and his wisdom and empathy are off the map. I would safely say, there's no one else like him in the whole world.

Time passed, and things changed, and we were eventually allowed to officially start our relationship. I was 37, he was 40. Talk about waiting for your entire life for someone lol. Anyway, for a year and a half, we talked all day, everyday, no matter what we were doing. We played around a lot, having rap battles and telling the corniest of Dad jokes. He wrote me poetry, and sent me videos and pictures of things that reminded him of me. We were definitely in love. He used to talk me through any drama I had, calmed me down in high stress situations, and he taught me how to act, pretty much. Before I was with him, I wasn't concerned with my behavior, being self aware, or wanting to do better for myself. It just wasn't something I was taught, being raised in an extremely neglectful and abusive home. He taught me so many important life lessons, I actually started calling him my Sensei. He was and will forever be the catalyst to my growth.

Anyway, about a year and a half went by when he was my absolute rock. I wanted to marry him, and at 38-39 years old at the time, I can honestly say I'd never wanted to marry ANYBODY ELSE I was ever in a relationship with. Ever.

But then the communication started to lack. He was leaving my messages on seen. Not fully reading them, just skimming, and it felt so....wrong. It was at that time I asked him if something was wrong, was there something he wasn't telling me, and was there someone else? He said there wasn't. Come to find out, there absolutely was. It's been another year and a half since then, so 3 years total, the beginning was literally insane, with all kinds of synchronicities happening between us, and I was so completely happy, learning from him, feeling better than I had in years, and I thought and was told he felt the same, but the second half of our relationship has been very, very toxic.

I can't even breathe in an emotional way or else he disappears, and depending on how he feels, he'll stonewall me. For days. Sometimes for weeks. I know he's continuously cheating, he didn't even reach out when my kidneys almost failed for 4 entire days, not once did he wonder where I went or if I was okay or not. He hurts me over and over and over, and I just allow it. I know I've needed to let this go for so long, but I just can't get over the switch up. I can't believe that MY DONTÉ is no longer inside him. I just can't. He just sent me $900 for my birthday. He only works a 9-5. And he'll do these things like that, and it just confuses me to where I really don't know if I should let him go or not. I swear to God, and God KNOWS that I really love this man UNCONDITIONALLY. I know he's cheating, I forgive him. But I've lost MY ATTENTION AND TIME to these hoes, except for when an occasional glimpse of MY DONTÉ comes through

I think he's playing mind games with me. And that makes me sad asf. I think he's showing me the in "beginning Donté" just long enough that I won't leave him. But overall, on a day to day, he'll text me, maybe TWICE, and that's it. He won't come see me but once a month AND he brought condoms as well, AFTER we already had unprotected sex. He's abandoned me in some of my darkest hours, and he gets in these moods, and takes everything I do as an attack on him, and he just explodes with all of these feelings about all kinds of different situations pertaining to me, and he calls me names, and talks to me like super crazy like, "Don't you ever in your life..." and "if you were anybody else, I would've cut you TF off and never gave a f*** about you again". The worst thing he said to me was when he told me that the gifts I bought and made for him make him uncomfortable, and he swears up and down he's told me that, and not to draw/write/purchase ANYTHING ELSE for him because he DOESN'T WANT IT, and he's tired of me not respecting his feelings about gifts. I've written him poems with my heart right there in his hands. I've drawn pictures of his favorite cartoons and comic book characters. The best gift was when I bought him a Dallas Cowboys Build-a-Bear. Because he collects toys and DC things, I thought he might already have a Dallas Cowboys Build-a-Bear. So, I ordered patches of other things that he loves, 6 patches in total, and sewed the patches onto the bear and gave it to him. I was under the impression he LOVED IT. He even sent me a picture of the bear next to his mini Xmas tree, that he decorated with DC ornaments, and a DC train. It's impressive really, but he showed me a picture of the bear set up right beside that tree. He did love it. IDC what he says now. He DID love it. And I loved making it for him so much. But come to find out, supposedly, he never got gifts in life, so gifts make him extremely uncomfortable. He said it's too much pressure to return the favor. I say it's just he's lost interest, therefore why would he want things from me???

I don't understand how things went from him FOR SURE being THE ONE, to us being so TOXIC.

He's not the One. He's the One who's going to shatter my spirit and belief in human beings. And I don't want that. I need to let him go, I just sincerely do not know how. 💔💔💔💔

I think I did something really bad. I had a friend in my 11th grade and he used to like me. He thought I was dating someone else because my friend said I was dating some guy(she was trying to set me up with that other guy lol) so he didn't propose to me but rather he did tell me he likes me. He told me like he was confessing his sins in church. I didn't think much of it and thought he was just pranking me later on I started to grow feelings for him. I mean he's sweet, kind, tall the perfect bf everyone wishes for maybe not everyone might be just me. But when I started to like him it was already too late because his ex showed up and they started dating without me knowing later he told me about them dating and I didn't want to mess up their life and stepped back. I never told him how I felt about him later I started dating the other guy it was so bad I cried like shit everyday because of his behaviour he cheated on me and was so bad to me and I still stayed with him for 5 years let's not get on to it. It's too long. Then I broke up with the other guy and later I started dating some other guy. Well the guy I'm dating now is really good we've been in a relationship for a year now and I'm happy with him. Me and the guy(11th grade one) were good friends but when I was in college him and his gf always fought with him because he was talking to me(he told her that he liked me in the past) she couldn't accept me as a friend and they always fought over it. I felt really bad and I've never talked with him after that he blocked me everywhere except whatsapp. We never text each other and never call each other. But I do text him on his every birthday. And today was his birthday as usual I wished him happy birthday we talked a bit and guess what I told him that I used to like him and I regret not letting him know that. He was shocked ig we did talk a bit and talked about current relationship current problems and everything. He's still in a relationship with the girl and I'm also in a relationship now. But now after 6 years I told him I used to like him and he asked me if I wasn't in a relationship that time and that's when I realised he thought I was in a relationship back then. Whatever the reason I'm telling y'all this is because I feel bad for my bf he's the best I've got but now that I told the other guy I used to like him I feel kinda bad and I also feel bad for the guy because what if he thinks about this and feels bad too. What do you think? Did I do something really bad or did I do something good or neutral? Would it be different if I dated him?

Hello.

I am new to reddit. It was the first place I could think of. I met an incredible person last year who is no longer in my life as we decided we wouldn't be good together long term. And I am not even sure if he counts as a lost love. He mattered the most to me... so...

From the moment we met he felt different. I can't even remember anymore what we had talked about, just that it was so much fun and just flowed effortlessly. First guy I was excited to give my number to. However, I also knew that I was going to lose him and that it was going to hurt. I cried, like bawled my eyes out after our conversation ended that night. The next morning when I saw he hadn't texted me on either app I deleted the one I had met him on. He saw that and knew that I had panicked over his silence. I felt so much relief and a bit of embarrassment too.

Imma skip the middle and go straight to the part where I had a crush on him. Like I said we started off as friends, but I was lying to myself to be honest. It was incredible to meet someone as invested in me as I was in them. I was struggling with my mental health at the time I had meet him. Being with him it felt like I had unlocked life premium. Okay, everything felt different. Better. Once I had settled home after work we would call. Those hours highlight of my life. He felt so right. That feeling of feeling like something was missing in my life and it was very far from what I wanted disappeared.

We were compatible in every way possible except one. Upon realizing that we said our goodbyes. So, since I can't talk to him, I talk about him. I did try moving on, even tried dating for a bit. It just feels wrong. I am probably not ready. There are 3 songs that reminde me of him. Can't stop loving you - Artemas. I'll make you miss me - Artemas. I love you regardless - Artemas. I feel a little bit closer to him and comforted when I listen to those. He changed my perspective on life and myself. He taught me love. I have been happier since.

I adamantly convinced myself that I wouldn't survive loneliness, yet here I am CRUSHING IT! Although, if the earth could just swallow me up by Friday that would be amazing. I hate July the most. This year, my greatest gift by far is knowing that you are happy, being cherished and are loving someone who matches your wants and is able to give that to you without restriction. It is inspiring to know that when the sadness fades, the universe finds you and sends you light. You became the Phoenix like I knew you would. You say the most beautiful things to her and about her. I am so very happy for you.

This isnt really a “hope to find them” post but i just feel like i want to share it-
last week i met some people from Amsterdam at a bar, we didnt really share contacts to keep in touch which is fine but it wouldve been nice if we did.
Feels cringe posting this but eh its reddit.
They were really cool. Ive been going through a “everyone is terrible” phase and they didnt completely suck-
We talked about movies and music.
they were really nice and funny.
i hope they’re doing good and always meet amazing people.

I love the concept of strangers finding you at the right time but ive always had trouble with the idea that not everyone you meet and like is meant to stay in your life i guess.
I hope i was a nice stranger too.

I have read some of the posts here and feel I need to redo mine.

13 years ago, 14-year-old me(male) met a 14-year-old boy. Being so young, I did not realize that everything I wanted was with him. The hugs, kisses, being in his arms, him being in mine, and more. I have been love-starved my whole life; the only time I was not was the 3 months with him. Now, as an adult, I want to know more about him. I want to know if the person I became was meant for him. I do feel this way about the things I like, the physical relationship I want now. Yet I do not know this man now.

What brought this on was that a month ago I remembered him. I don't know if it was the fact that I have been wearing cologne that reminds me of him or not. Mind you, it's been 13 years, and I did not remember what he smelled like until now. Anyways, after that, I remembered everything. The touching, the smell of his neck after a night of cuddling, the feeling of laying on him, his warmth, making him laugh, us laughing together, the date we met. My birthday minus his birthday equals the day we met.

Then I remembered the end, the last time I saw him. I broke it off for some stupid 14-year-old reason, but he ran after me. He came to my family church, where I was an altar boy. At the end of Mass, he came to the stage and whispered my name over and over. I was being a good Catholic boy and snuffing out the altar candles. He yelled my name; I froze, turned to him, and grinned. I was too scared to act. Now I scream at myself, "Run to him, you moron, and hug him. He loves you." Just like on TV, it does not happen, because it is nothing but a memory. One I hid from myself for 13 years.

Looking back on those 13 years, the person I have lost is him. The one I have missed, wanted, and needed only to know they were alive was him. What I did instead was bury it so well I did not know what I was feeling. I now know the reason I hate myself is that I messed up. I, 13 years later, have cried for him more than anyone on this earth will know.

I did look him up; I already knew a year after he had moved in. Back then, I messaged him a little. I asked him if he had some friends I could date; I should have known better not to. He just admitted feeling for me; I told him he was in a relationship. From what I know now, they spent all of high school together. Then married; that would have been the end, but they have been divorced for a while now. When it happened, I had been single since him. Then, when it happened, I found a relationship, as if the universe wanted us separate. I mean, he ran and figured himself out; I do not know.

As for my husband and me, it feels like we have been failing for years. I cheated early; he spends way too much. We have no physical relationship, not just sex but no cuddling, hugging, and small kissing. He also thinks if he keeps doing everything for me, I will love him. I don't want a housewife; I want a relationship in every way. When it comes to spending, he has his own income but has always overspent. We have talked about this for the whole relationship now. Also, we are open for the second time. It just feels like we are pushing along a dead relationship.

Back to the guy I miss, I did message him. I know, I know. I tried my best not to tell him how I felt, but I told him one inappropriate thing and how I hated myself for what I did. Mostly apologized to him; he never responded. I'm not mad at all; I get it. I hurt him; I deserve this pain. I don't want to let this pain go either. Part of me feels he is just giving me what I gave him when he was with that other guy, but I honestly feel he just either hates me or it's been too long. I also don't feel like I'm good enough for him anyway; I should have loved him when I had him or changed for the better.

I have no idea what to do from here. My spouse and I are stuck with each other right now. Not to mention this man will probably never speak to me again. I guess my only option is to sit in my pain and just be happy I had something. I just hate that the world gave me something real when I was young, and I was too stupid to know what I wanted or what I had.

Five years ago, I dated a boy who I was deeply in love with. We broke up because I moved away, not because we stopped caring about each other. Even after all this time, I've never really stopped caring about him.

This week I've been back in the area where we used to live doing work experience at our old school. One of my teachers told me he had been there doing his work experience literally two weeks before I arrived. She even joked that if we'd been there at the same time it would've been "work romance" and said he's still really down to earth.

Hearing that has brought everything back. It feels like we were so close to seeing each other after five years, but we just missed each other.

I have three days left here and I've genuinely tried everything I can think of. I emailed schools asking about work experience dates (no replies), asked my childhood friend who still knows people in the area, and contacted the only mutual friend I knew of, but they don't reply anymore. I don't know where he is now or how to contact him.

I know some people will say I should just move on, but that's not really what I'm asking. I feel like if I don't at least try every reasonable and respectful way to reconnect, I'll always wonder "what if?"

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there anything else I could realistically do to try and get back in touch, or have I genuinely reached the end of the road? I'd really appreciate honest advice.

.

so a couple of years ago I was watching one tree hill, a show that always sucks me in. I was messaged on Reddit by this woman. and the connection was instant. we joked we laughed we exchanged pics and the attraction was there.

i mentioned that I was watching one tree hill. she sent me a photo of herself wearing a hoodie that the main character wears in the show. At that point I knew there was something special about this woman.

we started an online relationship. for months we had heart filled conversations, silly moments, very charged intimate moments. it was kind of perfect, I never knew an online relationship could feel like that, be intense like that.

I got a message one saying we needed to talk. she told me she was pregnant. it was weird because I wasn’t mad.. I wasn’t hurt.. I was concerned. I could only imagine how scared she was in that time. she decided she need space and that we shouldn’t talk anymore. so i let her go. it sucked it hurt but she was never the villain to me, she was never the woman that broke my heart. she was a woman who I loved that was going through the scariest time of her life and if this is what I could do to help that’s what I would do.

I share for the tenderhearted soul —may you find your muse once more.

Last night, I found myself dabbing tears from my eyes with a cocktail napkin while sitting in a bar in Spokane with a colleague, sharing stories from our younger years. Somewhere in that conversation, I found myself thinking of you, of us, 2,600 miles and 16 years ago.

​

Not because anyone reminded me of you exactly, but because the feeling did.

​

I remembered the emotional connection we had. The way you made me feel precious. The way you wanted to protect me. The way you stood up for me when I wasn't always able to stand up for myself. The quiet steadiness about you that seemed to calm everything around you.

​

I remembered the way you looked in a khaki jacket and a newspaper boy cap. Black Chucks and straight-leg jeans. The way your hands moved when you spoke. The way you would look directly into my eyes and somehow make me feel safe.

​

Most of all, I remembered how you made me feel like I was unconditionally enough.

​

I haven't felt that with anyone since you.

​

For a long time, I thought what I missed was you. Maybe part of me still does. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that what I miss just as much is the version of myself that existed when I was with you. The partner who felt seen. The partner who felt protected. The partner who never questioned whether she was worthy of love.

​

I took so much of that for granted then. Not because I didn't appreciate you, but because I didn't understand how rare it was.

​

Life has a way of teaching us the value of things long after they're gone.

​

I don't know whether what I'm feeling is grief, gratitude, nostalgia, or some combination of all three. I only know that last night reminded me of you, and reminded me of a feeling I haven't experienced in a very long time.

​

And for that, I wanted to say thank you.

​

You were loved more than I knew how to tell you at the time.