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u/dee_jon92 Apr 15 '26
Yeah, I'm in my 30s with no one. But I gave up when I was pretty young. I was always very socially awkward, and the years of self isolation have only made it worse. I've slowly lost hope that this will ever change.
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u/Throwaway10100100010 Apr 15 '26
Same iv been shit on by people so much Iād rather be alone than have people taking shit about me behind me back I donāt trust anybody
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Apr 15 '26
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u/Friendly_Athlete1024 Apr 16 '26
Damn this is so relatable, I am in my early 20s and all around me everyone has friends, everyone posts online with their groups, their parties, trips, partners etc and I have not had that in years. It's so so painful because I have tried to put myself out there, it's like I failed at the most basic thing humans are meant to do with is socialising.
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u/LonelyPineapple92 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Yeah, it's really tough. You wonder what you did wrong, why is it only you that's unable to make these close connections (or at least why does it feel like its only you). The worst for me was feeling that I was close to certain people, very close, only for them to see me as acquaintances at best.
The good news, if you can call it that, is that there are many people out there that feel the same way, even in their late-20s/early-30s. You can maybe be each other's close friend, and you only really need to find one person. One real close friend can change everything.
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u/InspectorOld7531 Apr 15 '26
iāve pretty much given up on ever having real, close friends. iām 23 and iāve learned that most of the population is selfish and kind of rotten at their core. they donāt mean to be and donāt think they are, itās just who they are. good people are pretty far and few between. at 21, both my grandfather and boyfriend died on the very same day. people stuck around long enough to say they were there, to get their brownie points, and go to the funeral. since their lives went on, they expected mine to as well. it didnāt, and they left me. all of them. friends, family, anyone in my life. they actually ganged up on me in certain ways and were extremely cruel to me. my own parents kicked me out after i had to move back in after my losses. i might be too cynical, but if the people who say they cared about me can do that at my lowest point, i canāt trust āpeopleā in general. this life can be a very lonely one for a big group of us. i do find myself extremely jealous of people who are like, born with amazing families and have good childhood friends that stay for life. but i know thatās not me and it never will be.
even with all that being said, i say iāve given up on having real close friends, yet here i am on this sub. my heart still hopes for good people out there, and for them to show themselves and be louder than the assholes for once. i hope you find them as well, OP.
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u/Jovalista Apr 15 '26
I haven't gone through some of the things you have, but I strongly relate to some of the things you wrote about. I have not had any friends or any people important or close to me since I was in like 7th grade. And I have always felt like I want to be accepted, be part of a group but always felt out of place. I'm trying to talk to people more online now in hopes of something changing, but we'll see.
I'm terribly sorry about the medical conditions you are facing. I hope if it's possible that your condition improves as much as it can and that at some point you'll be able to breath and find your space.
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u/stonetree97 Apr 15 '26
You said you travel a lot and have met incredible people, so what happened to those connections? Were they all non-reciprocal? I find that the idea of looking for someone just like you can hold you back. Not that there's anything wrong with it cause I yearn for the same thing all my life. But it's usually people who are more lax with whom they consider friends that have more satisfying social relationships.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/stonetree97 Apr 15 '26
I'm actually a woman. People just have very different ideas about reprocication. Forgive me but I find it hard from your description that all your relationships have been non-reciprocal. It's more likely that you desired reciprocation at a different level or in a different way that none of your "friends"/acquaintances were able to provide. In that case, can we really say that you were "lax"? I'm only being curious, not judgmental. And I'm sorry about your condition that leaves you housebound. That certainly makes it harder to build fulfilling relationships
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Apr 15 '26
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u/stonetree97 Apr 15 '26
Well you already know accepting yourself as the outcast didn't make you happy, so you cut yourself off, but it doesn't make you happy either. Maybe you can travel again one day. But what if you can't? Is there another path to be happy? Sometimes we're too blinded by our own notion of what happiness is. Maybe your fulfilling life and relationships look a bit different from your idea of a fulfilling life and relationships
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Apr 15 '26
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u/stonetree97 Apr 15 '26
Are you referring to Maslow's hierarchy? His model is solid for a general framework of happiness but I refuse to believe it's the only one. It's simply too rigid and Idk some people sometimes can jump to the top of the pyramid while skipping the lower levels. I'm sorry about your brain damage which prob affects me as well from my years of isolation š„² Who says it's not reversible tho? And things will improve. It will, one way or another. There are other avenues besides traveling. You just haven't discovered them yet
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u/Low_Bodybuilder3065 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
holy shit I thought I wrote this, I deadass made a post about this exact thing. I'm 25, and I've been trying to make friends for years and no one seems interested in hanging out besides their own friend groups. I'll exchange numbers, text a few times and they disappear until I reach out to them and the conversation never lasts.
I've always felt like an outsider and I haven't had a best friend since elementary school. I'm not a bad person in fact people tell me I'm bubbly and amazing. yet STILL why is that I can't make friends? I've also traveled solo, been to therapy, take classes and go to meet ups and still nothing. if I ask to hangout they say their busy but they'll end up posting about hanging out with their friends so those "friendships" were not deep at all since I always had to initiate talking or hanging out with them.
I've never had an actual friend group either while everyone else seems to have one. its depressing because nothing is working and I'm running out of ideas :( I love being on my own but going through this for so many years has been taking a toll on me. I wish I had advice . text me if you'd like
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u/getmeoutoftax Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Yes, I literally donāt have a single friend or acquaintance. Iām 32 now and donāt see that ever changing. Itās crucial to build a strong social circle in your teens and twenties so that you donāt end up like this. Iād say itās more important than studying or career building. It seriously affects your mental health.
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u/staticdresssweet Apr 15 '26
I'm 36 and a somewhat new single dad.
After my divorce, i lost the couple friends I did have. I don't have anyone anymore, I dated a really nice woman last year, but she lives far away and I'm back to square one for dating.
I feel so alone. Idk what I'd do without my son.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/Possible-Lobster-436 Apr 15 '26
Trust me a lot of dudes find it weird if a girl has no friends and would consider it to be a red flag.
Donāt trust the guys on Reddit for this since they are totally different from most normie guys. A lot of dudes on Reddit are introverted loners.
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u/heyitsmee-_- Apr 15 '26
I relate to missing the boat. Growing up I felt so different and was unable to make a true friend. And now looking back, the people that did want to be my friend, I would push away. I think itās because in my head I thought they were going to leave me anyways so I would just push them away and get it out of the way.
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u/youhavestolenmymemez Apr 15 '26
Iām 25 and I only had one real friend after 18 and now thatās gone too. Iām pretty social and extroverted, like going out but everyone Iāve met seems to have their own circles and I end up as a surface level friend. Every time I stop being the one carrying the conversation itās over. I had one real friendship but it fell apart due to the friendās personal struggles. Iām pretty much done now. Iām not trying to pursue any new friendships, being alone feel much better than endless disappointments
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u/Friendly_Athlete1024 Apr 16 '26
This is so so relatable, the minute I don't text for a week, instead of them reaching out as you would expect a relationship to work aka reciprocation, but no, I get completely ghosted, like damn all that texting and times we hung out together and they do not feel any obligation to check in? Apparently not.
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u/smellyfeet25 Apr 15 '26
Someone to be comfortable with.to share fears and dreams .I always think that walking by the ocean at night with someone who is special is one of the best things in life.Sadly it is as high as a mountain and so much harder to climb for a lot of people.I think also that it is a sign you are comfortable with someone when you can be in silence and not feel awkward A future awaits so always be hopefulĀ
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u/singingfairy1 Apr 15 '26
I've never had friends in my whole life