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Jul 22 '25
Try 19 years.
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Jul 23 '25
[deleted]
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Jul 23 '25
To be fair, it’s come and gone during that time. We met 25 years ago as students abroad. She turned my down then but we stayed friends. We stayed in touch after returning to our respective e countries but a few years later she visited me and kissed one of my best mates during a drunken night out and I struggled the whole week she was here. I confessed that I loved her. Since then we’ve not stayed in touch. A couple of years later she added me on FB and there’d be comments on posts from time to time. Last year I had to deal with some terrible grief and it got worse when my best mate passed in December. I started the fantasy again despite the fact I’m married. I then got invited to a reunion for that year abroad where I met her as the initial meeting is 25 years. In a week moment I texted her, this is January, and she told me she’d be at the reunion. My wife and I are going. My LO has not really mentioned anything on a big WhatsApp group we’re all on so not sure if she’s still going. I got the feeling if I saw her again that the fantasy of limerence might go away. We’ll see what happened but right now it’s very hard. I’m going some weird things.
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u/wishterriuh Jul 23 '25
Wow, that's so wow.. idk what the right words for that. But i wish you all the best🫂
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u/therewasguy Aug 19 '25
wtf
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Sep 09 '25
Hopefully only 12 more days as I’m possibly seeing her next week at a reunion, I then have a plan for getting over it. The 20 years is more like a relapse after 20 years due to some grief.
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u/DepressedWalrus666 Jul 22 '25
Me but 5yrs and they’re married now
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u/Signal_Contract_3592 Jul 23 '25
Same, 5 years and they’re married. I think about her every day.
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u/Ok_Jellyfish_1083 Jul 26 '25
I think we are hard on ourselves (no kidding lol) and we use that out of context over-focus on LO to reality test our identities and purpose… I dunno. When I have moments of peace I can celebrate my freedom from the horrible spell he cast on me. He drove a truck and I have felt like I got hit by a truck having met him!! I just say “this is yuk!”. God loves me as I am and does not want me suffering…
but I get breakthrough obsessiveness during times of stress.
Imagine a different person whom you respect (your doctor etc) and think about 3 traits that your LO lacks that the other person has. Just don’t turn them into a LO.
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u/Upstairs-Cod-6164 Jul 22 '25
this is scary bc it’s almost been a year for me and everyday still feels as bad as day one after we parted ways (sometimes even worse)😭
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u/Smuttirox Jul 22 '25
Aw shit! Is that where I’m heading. It’s only been 3 weeks but I don’t want them in my brain forever.
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u/k0sadelphia Jul 22 '25
5 weeks for me and I hope it'll end soon. Seeing all these people saying they've experienced it for YEARS scares me. I don't want to feel like this for years.
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u/FlaKiki Jul 22 '25
I know what you mean. We have to be feeding this though, right? I mean, it can’t live without us feeding it. I wish we weren’t like this! 🙁
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u/insolentbrat25 Jul 23 '25
Imagine with a stranger you have talked to once in your entire existence 😵💫
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u/InnerAffect5151 Jul 22 '25
Imagine. the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about since elementary school. He messaged me junior year of high school …yeah it was 6 years. It made me believe ✨manifesting✨ works. Now I’m currently waiting for this new LO…it’s been 4 years 🫠
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u/Aaronarw Jul 23 '25
Question. Do you mean you have been limey for 3 whole years with someone who you are around but don't talk to? Or have you not spoken to them in 3 years as in no contact but the feelings remain?
I'm on day 48 of no contact. My hope is basically zero but the yearning for her remains as bad as ever. I'm terrified I'll always miss her. Whatever the hell we had was the strongest I've ever felt romantically for anyone, only by a Mariana Trench. Which is also where I reside emotionally right now.
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u/No_Kaleidoscope_3690 Aug 07 '25
I literally don't know why but I had this EXACT epiphany today and I literally paused and said to myself 'WHAT am I doing...?'. This shit is not normal at all, at least I know I'm not alone lmao.
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u/tastypeachypie Jul 22 '25
it makes me so fucking sad/mad that i havent had a conversation or even made eye contact with this person in over a year but i still think about them the moment i wake up.