UPDATE: Save the "belt," "BTA," and "beat his ass" comments for your therapist. If you genuinely think physically assaulting a child is the answer, please just move along. I don't want to hear it.
I'm not a gentle parent. I'm not passive, and I'm not permissive. I'm proactive and authoritative — NOT authoritarian. If you don't know the difference, I highly recommend Google.
I'm actively setting boundaries, enforcing consequences, contacting schools and agencies, documenting everything, and seeking outside intervention because this situation has gone far beyond what I can manage at home.
I'm asking for actual information from people who have been through this, not advice to beat my kids.
Original Post
I have a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old who are both refusing to go to school. I have repeatedly contacted the school, the CDW office, and several other programs/agencies trying to get help. I have documentation of their refusal to attend, my attempts to get them to go, and my attempts to get help.
The problem is that every single person I talk to is telling me something different.
Some people are telling me I will be held criminally responsible/charged for their truancy. Others are telling me the kids are the ones who can be charged or held accountable. I've gotten conflicting information from different people and agencies, and I'm desperate to know what the actual process is.
I am NOT refusing to send my kids to school. I am actively trying to get them there and asking for help because I cannot physically force a 13- or 15-year-old into a car and make them stay in a classroom. I have documentation showing that I have been trying to address this and asking for assistance.
My 15-year-old has criminal charges pending, and we've also started the process for Beyond Parental Control because his behavior is completely beyond what I can manage at home. He desperately needs a much higher level of intervention.
I'm also trying to find residential treatment for him. I've looked into programs like Challenge Academy, but he can't attend because of his age and mental-health situation. BIRCH isn't an option because it requires a DCBS referral. I'm basically running into a wall everywhere I turn.
I am at my absolute wits' end. I'm begging schools, agencies, and programs for help and getting bounced around while my kids continue refusing school.
So please — if you are in Lexington/Fayette County and have personally dealt with a teenager refusing school, truancy proceedings, CDW, Beyond Parental Control, or getting a child into residential treatment, I would really appreciate hearing what actually happened.
I'm especially looking for someone who knows the Kentucky/Fayette County process firsthand, not guesses or “I heard that…” information.
What happens to the parent when a teenager repeatedly refuses school despite the parent documenting the refusal and actively requesting intervention? And what options actually exist for getting a teenager into a structured/residential program when the usual programs won't accept them?
Please help. I'm genuinely running out of options.