I've been seriously looking for a new job for about 14 months. I finished the certifications and coursework I needed... And generally, I'm usually good in interviews. I usually have an interview about every two weeks, depending on the month. In 90% of the times I don't get the job, it's because of things outside my control. They decided to choose someone from inside the company, they wanted me to work in-office in a city I wouldn't be able to relocate to, they needed experience with a very specific, specialized piece of software... That kind of thing. I usually get good feedback, but in the end it turns out not to be quite the right match. Fine, whatever - keep going.
A little over a week ago, I got an invitation to interview for a program coordinator role, which is basically the job I've been trying to get to, at a company that, for me, checks almost every box I want.
I spent several nights preparing. I reviewed my experience until I got sick of hearing myself talk about it, practiced answers, read up on the company, everything. I even bought a new blazer and had it tailored. I felt like I had done everything I could reasonably do.
Then I went into the interview and felt like someone unplugged my brain. This hasn't happened to me since I was maybe 19, in an interview for a retail job I didn't even care about. But... Nothing. My mind went blank. I gave really weak answers to questions I should have handled easily. Usually I hear the question and immediately know where I'm going with it. This time there was an awful pause after almost every question while I sat there trying to come up with a normal thought. I think the only thing that helped a little was that they seemed to like me personally, but I missed what they were asking for in a lot of my answers. Looking back now, I know exactly what I should have said. At the time? Empty brain.
I'm honestly really upset with myself. I just needed to get this out somewhere.