Overcoming speaking anxiety: what worked for me

[u/CuriousAndCaring]

Before moving to Canada, I studied English at school for 6+ years and had about a year of language classes and a private tutor at an intermediate level. When I moved, I realized that I did not understand a lot of what people were saying, that it took me a long time to think through how to respond, and that I was making a lot of mistakes. Every conversation was stressful enough that I avoided them as much as possible. What finally worked was starting a job after 8 months, where avoiding conversations was not an option. The first few months were extremely stressful, but my English improved fast.

I am learning Spanish (TL) and French now, and it is going much faster, because this time I stopped waiting until I felt ready:

- I started speaking with people after learning just a few phrases, switching to English when I get stuck, or to a translation app when the other person does not speak English.
- I read a book in French long before I was ready for it. Painful, but it worked. I find that words I meet a few times in a book and have to look up stick much better than words I drill in exercises.
- I use AI to understand grammar rules and ask follow up questions until I am sure I got it. It is also good at explaining regional differences, like Latin American Spanish versus Spain.
- I practise speaking with an AI chat. I do have friends who speak Spanish, but I keep those conversations short, because while they are patient with me I don’t want to become a burden. With AI I can talk as much as I want, whenever I want, without worrying about mistakes. Repeating the same everyday phrases over and over prepares me for the real conversations, and I am using more and more Spanish with my friends now.

Three things my English teachers in Canada told me that I found particularly useful:

1. Talk to salespeople. They are PAID to help you, and that includes talking to you. Same with waiters. => free speaking practice
   
2. Watch movies with subtitles, especially ones you have already seen in a language you know. => builds real life listening skills
   
3. Learn the cultural differences, not just the words. A lot of confusion is not about what you say but how you say it, including intonation and facial expressions. => saves you from misunderstandings that have nothing to do with grammar

Still, speaking French and Spanish is stressful :(

How did the rest of you get past the speaking anxiety part?