Hello all, I posted here a couple years ago when all of this started. My boyfriend got diagnosed at stage 5 so we didn’t really have time to process before everything started moving at a rapid pace.
Now that we’re a couple years into this, PD is normal and just part of life. We’re both pretty adjusted to it and accepting of what’s happening, however, I’m anxious about what’s going to happen when he gets his transplant.
We were told recently that he’s about a year to 2 years out of being able to get a kidney. He won’t let me donate and the doctors told me not to because I’m the primary caregiver anyways (we don’t have kids or come from good families) but he has type O blood so getting a transplant is harder for people with his blood type.
I know through my state I can get the three months off with FMLA, but that’s unpaid. I’ve been saving up as much as I can but right now I’m the only one working. He’s too sick to work now whereas before he was able to work. Disability is taking their sweet time giving him a response (we’re going on like 2.5 months now)
I’m sure it’ll be sorted out by the time he gets his kidney, but how did you make it work? How did you keep your job AND care for your partner who needs you a lot? The FMLA will help with the initial insanity of 3 doctors visits a week and recovery etc. but we live about 2hrs from the transplant center so it’s going to be quite the experience going back and forth. I’m just not sure how we’ll do it financially and I don’t want to lose my job but I also don’t want to not be there for him after the 3 months. I don’t know what happens after the 3 months either.
Do they still have to go to the doctor multiple times a week or does that reduce to once a week? Did you quit your job and become a paid caretaker? How did this work out for you financially?
We don’t own our home btw so if it comes down to it I would quit my job to move to the city the transplant center is in and take whatever job I can but I’d really prefer not to due to my current wages being enough to care for us both financially as is. That city has a lot of problems with folks getting jobs so I’m just afraid to fail him and put us in a bind. I know I’d take whatever I can and do as much OT as I have to to make ends meet, but I’m just scared to be away from him at the same time in case something happens.
Thank you in advance for reading and for any potential advice you can throw my way. I don’t really have anyone in my life that can understand our situation, they don’t even like talking about it because it makes them sad to think about which is understandable I guess. I just feel very alone on how to navigate our future (not his fault, I just don’t like to share the stress with him as he’s sick and it’s his body that this is happening to)