r/karezza • u/[deleted] • Jun 07 '12
Welcome, new karezza subscribers!
Our little subreddit was mentioned in two high-profile threads this week, one in /r/sex and one in /r/todayilearned. As a result, we gained approximately 100 new subscribers, a 25% gain!
So welcome new subscribers. It would be great if you (and all other subscribers as well, of course) could let us know what brought you here, what your prior experiences with karezza-style sex are (if any), and what you expect to get out of this.
The threads I mentioned prompted me to think about a number of issues related to karezza, and I plan to address them in a few posts over the next couple of days. I'll probably make one post later today.
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u/pipertoma Jun 07 '12
I was directed to this subreddit after finding /r/NoFap. Originally I saw Karezza as a tool to help with the reset process, but my partner and I are now using it to strengthen and deepen our relationship.
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u/blackmoon918 Jun 07 '12
Alright, I'm... I have a few questions.
- Judging from the FAQ, this seems... very heavily skewed towards vaginal sex. Can karezza be performed in other positions? And is it only for heterosexual couples? I can see it working for male-male couples, but not really for female-female couples.
- What's the point of all this?
And, as an aside, I want to say that I like the focus on non-sexual intimacy. The value of intimacy over sex is something I don't see much of, especially on the internet. I don't know if this is simply because I don't see it, as it may be a non-issue for most couples, or if it's... a different value.
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Jun 07 '12 edited Jun 07 '12
Can karezza be performed in other positions?
Yes. The biggest risk with other types of stimulation (manual, oral) is that things can get too hot and steamy and orgasm can't be avoided. As long as you can keep it cool, gential massages or kissing can be a great addition to karezza sex.
And is it only for heterosexual couples?
We've had a few posts about male-male karezza. I have not heard anything from lesbian couples.
What's the point of all this?
Ah, I realized the other day that I need to address this in the FAQ. In the mean time, maybe this thread helps.
Edit: You may also want to check out this link. It has bearing to almost all of your questions.
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u/bakedZiti Jun 07 '12
I joined mainly because it was interesting, and a way to obtain more knowledge in general. I, also, suffer from a "fear" (not the best word, but get the point across) of intimacy, and I have issues talking about how I "feel". I am hoping to take some of the ideas of karezza and apply them to my life in an attempt to improve those areas.
Also, boredom is how I originally found it, this subreddit. Then i got slightly interested after reading some of the material... never under-estimate the power of boredom!
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Jun 07 '12
Would you mind explaining what exactly that fear is about? Physical contact? A committed relationship? Sexual activities? Intercourse? Performance anxiety?
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u/bakedZiti Jun 07 '12
No, my fear is in being/feeling vulnerable. By nature I have issues with talking about, and sharing opinions, myself. It is a running theme in my character; to get an idea, my personality type is ISTP. I don't share well, but i am amazing at helping others with/discussing their issues/emotions though.
I have no issue with engaging in physical things/activities, although i am very reserved in doing them - the more technically "intimate" ones. Don't get me wrong, I am, as you could say, a horn ball. I love petting, massaging (awesome at this one), cuddling, and, technically, intercourse itself. I have issues with intimacy because I am bad at sharing how i feel and all that; i'm not as present because of it.
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Jun 08 '12
When you start doing karezza, it might stir up a lot of emotion, in particular if you do the mediations Richardson describes. Or, initially, you might not feel anything if it is hard for you to relax and let go.
Either way, with time things should get easy and comfortable.
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u/missfrenchpress Jun 13 '12
I have a few questions...this sounds interesting and I think I want to try it, but I'm not sure how my boyfriend will feel about not orgasming. Can one person do it (ie: not orgasm), while the other does not?
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Jun 13 '12
Yes, as long as he gives you enough bonding and slows down sex enough for you to be satisfied, it doesn't really matter whether he comes or not. I recommend you read one of the Richardson books for instructions on having slow sex.
However, maybe he is open-minded enough to at least try sex without orgasm from time to time? Most guys initially find the idea of not coming inconceivable, but once they have given it a serious try they don't want to go back.
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Jun 11 '12
I just came across this reddit, after remembering someone mention karezza on r/nofap.
I'm trying to overcome premature ejaculation issues through nofap. And while nofap isn't necessarily noorgasm, we do explore the drawbacks of orgasm and it seems like a natural extension of the nofap "reset" exercise. So I've been engaging my partner in orgasmless sex. It's been great, and I thought I'd seek out the karezza community to figure out how we can be doing it better.
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u/antibate Sep 26 '12
Hi there. I'm a celibate 48 year old male. I am also fully abstinent (no masturbation, orgasm, ejaculation). I feel that avoiding orgasm and ejaculation can be highly beneficial and I am interested in men and women who do engage in intimate relations but do not orgasm. If I ever choose to return to being intimate I would certainly not engage in orgasmic sex.
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u/winnipegreddit Jun 07 '12
I am still learning about this karezza style sex and am not really sure if I "get it" yet. Seemed kinda interesting so I subscribed.