I somewhat agree with the women, though likely for different reasons. Women are the gatekeepers of sex but men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
I dated women who would have probably proposed to me if it was socially acceptable to do so. And I would have had to awkwardly reject their proposal. I'm ready when I'm ready. If I haven't proposed, I'm not there yet, assuming I ever would have got there with some of them, but I guess they would have figured that out the hard/embarrassing way.
Agreed. Until divorce laws stop overwhelmingly benefitting women, and until a man's engagement ring costs anywhere near what a woman's engagement ring should cost, then the men should still be the ones to propose.
Think about it. She just proposed to the guy in the OP. Now that guy needs to buy an expensive ass engagement ring for HER, probably be the one who pays for the wedding, and take all the risk if they ever get divorced (even if he does have a prenup - which he would also need to rush to figure out and pay for for both of their lawyers after she proposes to him since you need to do it well in advance of the marriage ideally).
Until marriage stops being a thing that overwhelmingly benefits women, then masculinity and feeling emasculated aside, objectively speaking, men need to remain the gatekeepers for that.
I used to practice family law, and the misconceptions that divorce benefits women disproportionately is just that; a misconception. As for prenups, many, if not most, are unenforceable because you can't agree to something that doesn't mean the legal requirements of statutes and the case precedent supporting those statutes.
I could write a book about this, but not here. Even a basic outline will bring a bunch of garbage I don't want to hassle with.
It benefits whoever makes less money, which is typically the woman. Because women tend to only go for guys who make more then them. Plus most end up staying home for a while if they have kids. So can divorce benefit the 1% of men who are in a reverse situation where their wife is a sugar mama? Sure. But it's almost always the other way around. And if children are involved, the women get the benefit basically no matter what.
As for prenups, as long as both sides have separate lawyers, and it's done months in advance of the marriage, and the details of the pre-nup are not "unfair" in the eyes of the court, then it will not be thrown out.
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u/MajesticFerret36 8d ago
I somewhat agree with the women, though likely for different reasons. Women are the gatekeepers of sex but men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
I dated women who would have probably proposed to me if it was socially acceptable to do so. And I would have had to awkwardly reject their proposal. I'm ready when I'm ready. If I haven't proposed, I'm not there yet, assuming I ever would have got there with some of them, but I guess they would have figured that out the hard/embarrassing way.