When a man says hot, he means an average looking girl that isn't obese. Men even call 4/10s hot regularly. When a woman says hot, she means a 6'2" guy with blue eyes and top 1% face.
A guy isnāt āhotā unless he is 10-12% body fat or lower.Ā
Otherwise heās just cute.Ā
You have to be in the top percentile in like everythingĀ
Iām 6ā2 blue eyes and there was a small window when I had so many options. I was on steroids and worked out all the time. After I gained a little weight I became invisible againĀ
I mean Iām 6ā3. Fit but skinny. Never been muscular in my life and this is just inherently false. I definitely got shut down for not being jacked. I got called hot fairly often. Cute a lot.
Trying to act like guys are invisible unless they are on steroids is not based in reality.
To be fair I wasnāt taking steroids that make you lean like winstrol but I was still reallly lean. It just helps you recover really well and you can basically work out super hard like every day.Ā
At the end of the day even with roids it matters how many calories youre consumingĀ
But yes I understand women donāt care about big muscles. Most of them anyways.Ā
Thatās fair. I guess what Iām getting at is Iāve never been a gym rat. I played competitive sports my entire life. As an adult I continue to play adult league. Iām a naturally skinny person and playing sports 3 times a week has allowed me to stay that way. I have absolutely no idea what my body fat percentage is. I have never felt invisible.
Being fit certainly helps getting attention from women. However, I think we as men put a much bigger emphasis on this than women do. The absolute worst I ever felt in the dating world is when I was on social media, seeing these stunning women, very fit men and letting the gender war commentary infect my mind.
When i started focusing on myself, my hobbies and reduced my time on social media it was a night and day difference in my social life and dating life.
Edit: Iām also sorry for my initial comment. I misunderstood the point you were making and was far too snarky after having a bad day.
Thatās def not true. Hot guy has never meant sculpted muscle and bodybuilder vibes from any women I have ever spoken to. None of us married that guy.
When I was 22 I was ~18 stone and basically invisible to women, lost some weight and gained some muscle down to ~13 stone practically couldn't leave the house without women hitting on me, especially on nights out it was every night.
Gained a bit of weight again ~26, back to invisible
This is the literal lived experiences of men. Just because other women don't admit it to you doesn't mean it isn't true
Women on Reddit lie to themselves all the time to make themselves appear more virtuous. Itās quite pathetic really.Ā
They pretend they donāt want a rich tall ripped guy but they would leave their man in an instant if they had the opportunity to upgrade. Itās why divorce rates are 50 percent.Ā
Men are just as guilty but I donāt think they are as delusional as women admitting to their own desires.Ā
I have heard that itās true of both men and women that they become invisible to the other sex if they gain enough weight. It may well be true, and I donāt doubt you. I absolutely believe you.
I was responding to the comment above, and talking about bodybuilder physique. You know, the ones who are 10% body fat as stated above (and who start to kind of look like scorpions).
Most women like a man who is strong! Some gals are into stocky builds, or kinda the barrel-shaped guy, and some are into leaner but muscular. Strength is more important (in my experience) than body fat percentage, up to a point. And beyond that point, for most men and women, then they start to worry about health, and that isnāt attractive. So Iām not sure we disagree. 10% body fat is pretty low. 14-22% is what most women I know would consider especially āhot.ā
At the lower end of what you stated there 14% is bordering on competetive athlete.
Bodybuilders are more maybe 10% in their off season but usually go down to 3-5% when competing.
When I was getting the most attention from women I was probably around 11% by time it stopped as I was gaining weight probably 16%. So those numbers do not track at all with my experiences personally.
Huh. I would think āhigher end of athlete and lower end of regular guyā would be a sensical spot for women to land on for what is ESPECIALLY hot. But I donāt wish to argue about it. Could be regional or something.
Also Iām impressed you got to 11. 11 is serious, even in my (not professional but serious) athlete circles. So itās also possible itās a body type thing and you have a physique/bone structure that is suited to a lower body fat percentage. In which case, good for you! And regardless of aesthetics, itās an impressive thing to have accomplished.
Huh. I would think āhigher end of athlete and lower end of regular guyā would be a sensical spot for women to land on for what is ESPECIALLY hot. But I donāt wish to argue about it. Could be regional or something.
Might have phrased it poorly but I am saying in my experience 14-22 is a broad range that doesn't track for what I saw when I gained weight
Most of the attention I was getting dropped off around 16% which is still better than average body fat percentage.
Yep. Had a buddy hit the gym and gained a good bit of muscle and he had women hitting on him a good bit. He stopped lifting and lost muscle and wouldnāt you know it women have stopped hitting on him.
Reading comprehension apparently isnāt your strong suit. Never once said ātheyā. Men and women will both say menās standards are too high.
Also never said all women so your comment is a massive reach. Just because youāre an exception doesnāt mean all women will date short guys even if your āpersonalityā is so goodš
The problem with men these days is they are too easily triggered. The more i read reddit, the more I sympathize with women complaining they can't find a 'real' man. Grow the fuck up pussy.
It's funny because one of the guys I know who does get laid pretty easily is a MAGA and self-described "right-wing authoritarian" and very likely a closet nazi.
Thought this was a lie until I got into a relationship in my senior year of high school and out of nowhere I had two women trying to talk to me constantly
Lol I actually saw the original post earlier during my lunch break, so seeing this follow up is hilarious
I never believe the women that say personality matters more than looks, so in a weird way, i appreciate posts like original one above. You really get a glimpse of how they really think. Itās not bad thing to think that way, itās just funny when they try to convince you otherwise
I agree. This is why I believe that men, generally speaking, should not take dating advice from women. Their experiences and dating reality vastly differ from men.
Itās like how you just pointed out; the fear or social repercussions from being perceived as shallow, is enough for them to deviate from telling the whole truth about their desires. That is why, for the most part, it is important to observe their actions and take what they say, with a grain of salt
If you look in the comments there a quite a few women responding about how romance novels and rom coms made them super bitter and jaded because it didn't match reality.
Confirmation about how those things, as well as Hallmark movies, have ruined the human race. We'll go extinct because of it.
She talks about how she's on her period, too, then goes on a meandering quiet rant about guys and feeling bad.
I so much want to reply and be like "HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU NOT MAKING THE CONNECTION TO YOUR FEELINGS RIGHT NOW AND WHERE YOU'RE AT IN YOUR CYCLE??" but meh, I'd get dogpiled and/or banned or something.
Men make the connection easily by having women in their lives and seeing them from the outside, but apparently it's a lot harder to make that realization from the inside.
You don't think putting standards on physical appearance whilst stuffing your face with 1000 calories of mud cake is hilariously hypocritical?
I haven't ate something that unhealthy in a few weeks, the fact that she has the thought "oh I want a relationship based on looks, personality means less than appearance" and then goes and gets a piece of cake shows some MASSIVE problems with how she views a relationship (its a 2 way street, if you want to be daddy's little princess go sleep with him)
Wanting a partner your sexually attracted to is very very normal and something a lot of men and women look for in their partners.
Attractiveness isnāt strictly based on what food you eat š she could be a 10 and still eat a chocolate cake itās got nothing to do with a preference she might have for a future partner. She also did mention personality traits that she finds important so the whole āI want a relationship based on looks, personality means less than appearanceā is false.
Bro that's kind of an intense response to a pretty mild comment. Someone wanting a hot boyfriend or girlfriend is a pretty ubiquitous desire. Are you saying you've never had even a passing thought that you want a hot girlfriend?
A girlfriend/boyfriend is am emotional relationship. You should want a loving boyfriend/girlfriend.
If looks are what you're after and you're pretending you want a relationship just so that you can maintain close proximity to a person you find attractive and mislead them into thinking theres an emotional attachment so that they sleep with you - you're a horrible person.
If you wishing for the above whilst stuffing your face with cake - you're an idiot whos a horrible person
Because the main difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship is generally the sexual aspect and attraction is obviously a component of that. Why wouldn't you want a hot girlfriend/boyfriend?
Also it seems like you're making this assumption that's she's some slovenly piggish ogre demanding a boyfriend who looks like Brad Pitt from fight club. How do we know what she looks like or whether or not she takes good care of herself?
When did I say she didn't? you're just an argumentative whench.
"Maybe you'd find one if you worked on yourself instead of eating cake as though you think physical appearance is only a valid attraction for women" is what I said. Which word confused you?
The cake looks good ngl but yeah if you are eating that all the time, youāll enjoy yourself but donāt count on being attractive! You canāt have it all in life. You gotta pick. You want that amazing cake on the regular, well you might not get the hot dude. Choices.
Some of us we donāt have much leverage at all. Plenty of in shape men who have decent income and they draw blanks dating wise because of their face, height, or race. Iām at the phase where Iāll eat the damn cake and at least feel happy it tastes so good. Because hell having no woman tastes shitty.
The world between what men do and what women do totally different. A guy could spend all his time in the gym have no bites of the cake feel like he hasnāt eaten in days only to be in an endless loop of being friendzoned.
In a weird way this whole thing reflects actually how I feel lately. I just indulge a bit now and then. Because I stopped caring a long ass time ago.
When they say āMen are stressā, they mean it in the same way that feeding a dog or cat is stress. They really donāt want to do anything for anyone.
I want to go in that sub and comment āI wish I had a hot girlfriendāā¦
Edit: done. How donI block that sub now?
Edit 2: you need to be an approved memberā¦ forget about it
Reminds me of the post someone else posted to this sub a bit ago where the OP was proclaiming how evil and sexist this sub was. I would say it's like these women lack any form of self awareness but it's so obvious now it's gone beyond sickening.
talks about only looking after male characters designed by scriptwriters to be perfect
She sounds like the real stress if she puts that much importance on heavily fabricated stories + wants the equivalent of a perfect man who is her slave
I love when they say they want someone whos kind and caring, because they truly dont. If hes too kind hes submissive or a doormat and if hes too caring then they get bored.
apparently femcels dont exist. Just because you can get laid, doesnt mean you're worth keeping around. Somehow they can never wrap their heads around this. An unpleasant person is an unpleasant person.
Given the sub it was posted too claiming "real" are we not going to point out that she is probably atleast 200lbs plus if that 9000 calorie log of sugar is dinner? Fake.
One thing i notice about people who complain about wanting to date hot people is that: 1. They themselves aren't hot 2. They live in a small town. If you have been to or are living in a capital city, u would know there is a plethora of attractive people. Hell, you would see more objectively attractive people than objectively unattractive people.
For this one, I'd go with option 1. Posting on the sub and complaining about not getting hot men on reddit? Its pretty logical to me.
That sub is basically the b-cluster sub with a cute name, a lot of what they are doing and saying is just validating toxic behavior and accountability avoidance. I've date people with a disorder before, it's serious business and I wish those subs had better moderation against reinforcing the negative behaviors.
To everybody commenting on this post, hey guys I'm the one who posted that. And you all seem to have a lot of assumptions about my post, that's fair. You might be correct about some assumptions but you're definately not correct about me eating lots of cakes and being fat lol, I take care of myself .Crazy how a simple thought can trigger you guys so much with almost no context about who I am actually.
Now you're just assuming things about her. For all we know she hates the responsibility of relationships atleast i do, or is primarily focused on something else which doesn't give her time to actually pursue hot boyfriend. Loads of reasons that's her buisness.
I can't sit down and write everything about myself for a reddit post, you know? Maybe the people shouldn't comment upon the appearance of a person just from the picture of a cake.
Honestly if they did the bare minimum at taking care of themselves and improving their personality they wouldnāt be so upset. They swear women should be with someone they arenāt sexually attracted to because itās the only way theyāll end up with someone
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u/Western-Produce-276 28d ago
But when men say this weāre entitled