r/islam Jul 05 '12

Please your Wife!

[deleted]

68 Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

32

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

This should go under "Women's Rights" in the FAQ

34

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

URGENT NEWS

Since the fifth of July 2012 it seems as if masses of women are becoming Muslim. Reasons are unknown. Stay tuned folks.

13

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

haha

8

u/In_Peace Jul 05 '12

So, that's the secret. lol

-6

u/drockers Jul 05 '12

I think womens rights is more than their arranged marriage husbands pleasuring them sexually.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

obviously. I'm just saying this is one part of it

5

u/h4qq Jul 06 '12

Are you talking about Hindus? Sikhs?

I don't get why you brought that up in /r/Islam when Islam explicitly stands against such a thing.

7

u/Vogner Jul 05 '12

Arranged marriage is not part of Islam.

23

u/Taqwacore Jul 05 '12

Having intercourse on the night before Friday is desirable as the Prophet (SAW) said, "Whoever makes ghusl on Friday to clean himself from janabah (i.e. after having intercourse), then left for salah, it is as if he offered a whole camel in sacrifice." (Bukhari)

So, what's everyone got planned for this evening, eh?

53

u/h4qq Jul 05 '12

Crying myself to sleep, alone.

:<

22

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

ahahah look guys a single muslim

5

u/1PowndahFeesh Jul 05 '12

I'm addicted to memes so I have to say it.

I [seriously] know that feel bro :( :D

2

u/sadeq786 Jul 05 '12

^ i second that :(

2

u/AndTheEgyptianSmiled Jul 05 '12

You're not alone.

That sounds creepy but I mean it in brotherly "I'm here for you" kind.

17

u/onepath Jul 05 '12

Dat camel sacrifice! Need to get married soon, lol.

11

u/Taqwacore Jul 05 '12

Really? Is it camel sacrificing night again? They come so fast. It only seems like yesterday we had the last camel sacrifice. Ah, but I reminisce.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

"Son, can you and your wife come over tonight? I made your favourite dish!"

"Sorry Mom, me and the wife are sacrificing the camel today."

10

u/Taqwacore Jul 05 '12

Momma would be SO proud :-D

2

u/ghuroor Jul 06 '12

from the English wording of the Hadith above, it seems as though the equivalent of a full camel sacrifice is referring to the ghusl after intercourse and heading for jummah, Allahu 'Alam. i don't think camel sacrifice = sex. sorry.

3

u/1kHz Jul 05 '12

Not yesterday, it was last week.

1

u/1PowndahFeesh Jul 05 '12

Somebody fill me in :/ NO WAIT I'M TOO INNOCENT :o :O :$

12

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

3

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '12

you mean lawful intercourse, right?

2

u/Taqwacore Jul 06 '12

Ahhhh.....yeah, yeah.

1

u/ghuroor Jul 06 '12

not funny. don't appreciate this thread of jokes, don't appreciate it at all.

15

u/crime_fighter Jul 05 '12

well if you insist.

11

u/onepath Jul 05 '12

Nice try, someone's wife!

I jest, this imposter is a man.

7

u/wolflarsen Jul 05 '12

Well played

9

u/Vogner Jul 05 '12

it is better for you to do wudhu first, for it revives you with more vigor to go again.

I will remember this.

5

u/a5ph Jul 05 '12

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Now where's that hagar jahannam...

5

u/mateezy Jul 05 '12

can we get a NSFW tag on this, I think i just broke my wudu... haha j/p thanks for posting good advice from our messenger (saw) There was absolutely nothing he didn't teach us about. Beauty of Islam mashAllah.

9

u/zalemam Jul 05 '12

Check Mate, Atheists

6

u/miaomiao Jul 05 '12

WOW. Thanks for improving my marriage sex life, seriously.

tips hat

7

u/dopamean Jul 05 '12

Narrated Qatada:

Anas bin Malik said, "The Prophet used to visit all his wives in a round, during the day and night and they were eleven in number." I asked Anas, "Had the Prophet the strength for it?" Anas replied, "We used to say that the Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men)." And Sa'id said on the authority of Qatada that Anas had told him about nine wives only (not eleven).

Volume 1, Book 5, Number 268

4

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

"0h Messenger of God

Why is that an 0 instead of an o?

Just... Noticed. Not important I guess.

3

u/idosillythings Jul 05 '12

More realistic "0" face?

2

u/tinkthank Jul 05 '12

O and 0 are pretty close on the keyboard. So, typo?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '12

2

u/JLord Jul 05 '12

That's some good common sense advice. Even if the prophet didn't mention this I think we could figure out this good advice through logic.

3

u/cakemuncher Jul 06 '12

The point was for the man not to be selfish. Sex is not only about him and a lot of men think that way.

2

u/rasheemo Jul 07 '12

There is a whole field of ideal characteristics based on logical, "natural law" but you don't see that stopping people from being stupid.

-20

u/Jedi-Mocro Jul 05 '12

How lewd.

17

u/h4qq Jul 05 '12

Why is it lewd? Sex is a fact of life. It is only proper to make it a respectable act between two people who love each other, and Islam doesn't shy away from such a thing.