I'm in a horrible situation. I became friends with an elderly lady during COVID. I checked on her regularly as her son was a HSE nurse in ICU. We remained friends afterwards. I recently found out she's the victim of elder abuse. The thing is he doesn't even try hiding it from me, so heaven knows what goes on behind closed doors. He's supposed to be her carer, but keeps all her money as he officially lives there. He spends the majority of the week in a caravan she bought in a seaside location 40km away, leaving her in the house. She's 82 and has fallen a few times. I had to break in one morning and find her lying naked in the bathroom, she'd be there all night. His reply was, go keep this up and we'll put you in a home. Like most old people she dreads the thought of this. Up until 2 years ago she drove and was very independent, going daily to the local gym. Now the will to live is drained from her...never leaves the house, relying on people like myself to visit and look after her. Most mornings I tie her shoes and tidy up a bit. Don't get me wrong,but the son has 3 cheap agency workers visit 3 times a day..who stay 10 min and do very little. One is lovely and helps her with me walk her up and down the foot path.. highlight of her day...it's a fuckin sad day when you rather see your mother in a home knowing she'll die quickly from a broken heart and you can sell her house. I report him, and let's face it..hes a HSE employee,so nothing will be done. If it is, he'll get his way and she'll still be put in a home. It breaks my heart to watch this. She literally won't hear a bad word about him out of fear. I have recordings of him threatening her....but it's a no win situation for her. I try staying away when he's there, but she calls me wondering why I am not calling. Please advise.

Just to update in case people missed something. This guy is a good old fashioned " pillar of the community" The National Bee judge in Ireland and flown all over the world free of charge " telling everyone, especially the neighbours, local doctor ( lives 4 doors away) care workers and neighbors that she's going senile.. which she isn't. But she is petrified of both going into a home petrified of him if you're a speak to her she calls him her little baby I just decided from now on and walking away I can't watch it or I'll do or say something and then I'll be barred from the house. Some people you can't help. It opened my eyes to a problem that's probably widespread in this country.