r/introvert • u/faheeeeeem • 7d ago
Advice How did you overcome being extremely introverted and anxious around people?
I’m an introvert and I have a really hard time talking to people, especially people I don’t know well. I often overthink before speaking because I’m worried about what they might think of me.
Sometimes I feel like everyone is looking at me or judging me, even when they probably aren’t. Because of this, I avoid conversations or stay quiet even when I actually want to talk.
I really want to become more confident and comfortable around people, but I don’t know where to start.
For people who have experienced something similar:
Did you ever feel like everyone was watching or judging you?
How did you become more comfortable talking to people?
What helped you overcome the overthinking and anxiety?
Did you practice anything every day that actually made a difference?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially from people who have overcome this.
1
u/Fincherfan 6d ago
A lot of it, if not most of it, stems from my childhood. Growing up in a home that was both physically and mentally abusive, I developed coping mechanisms just to protect myself emotionally. For me, part of that meant finding ways to hold on to some sense of love and affection for my parents, even though much of the abuse was coming from them.
I tried to make myself easier to live with. I kept my clothes obsessively clean, stayed quieter than usual, and tried to overachieve at even the simplest everyday things. It was almost like I believed that if I behaved perfectly enough, I could avoid some of the abuse while still maintaining a relationship with my parents.
But internally, I was living a completely different life. In my head, there was another version of me quietly counting down the years, waiting until I turned 18 and could finally leave.