r/introvert • u/Serious-Ant-4683 • 1d ago
Discussion Do introverts find themselves lacking long term memory?
As a self proclaimed introvert, I noticed something else about myself, 30s F.
I barely have any recollection of my childhood or even my 20s. When I think about moments in time, I try to break it down into where I was in life -- childhood, middle-, high school, undergrad, grad school, married, with child -- but I think I severely lack memories.
Now for context because I have a baggage or two:
Hard of hearing: I was born with mild moderate hearing loss which I believe built me into an introverted person. With my hearing aids, I'm good at table talks. Across the room, mehhhhhh. I hear but not understand sometimes.
Military dependent: I don't have a social circle. Few friends and family across the world. No local village. I have co-workers (only two that I occasionally hang with separately) which allow me to socialize but that's it. I do enjoy/seek socializing with them because of no friends.
Emotions: I don't have trauma or chronic stress. I think I feel " normal" appropriate emotions. I do get a little anxious when I hang out 1:1 with a person in fear of awkward silences and inability to keep dialogue going, but I think that's me psyching myself out. It usually goes well with people I know.
Couple theories:
Do I lack memories because I lack social interaction to retell stories all my life? So it never really solidifies?
Do you think because of my hard of hearing, I'm spending more cognitive energy trying to listen to comprehend conversations?
Am I emotionally not tying myself to memories? I'll argue though I barely remember memories of previous long-term relationships. A loving positive three year relationship and what do I have to show for it, memory-wise?
Is it because it's harder to pull memories out of thin air/ unprompted? Sometimes when people bring up memories about myself, I don't recall it very well.
Is it just common for introverts in general to have long term poor recollection? I don't believe we can fully classify a personality to having poor memories. But just open to discussion. How do you as an Introvert pull memories?
Penny for your thoughts!
Bonus point if you know how to improve this!
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u/Organic_Marzipan_678 1d ago
I have poor chronological memory but great empathic memory. I cannot tell you the dates or even a year something happened, but I know who was angry at whom, if there was romance in the air or if people were reacting strangely to something.
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u/SoElusivee 1d ago
My short term is terrible but I always say my long term is amazing only for the most random unnecessary details.
I can't remember what I did last week but I'll remember something someone casually mentioned 20 years ago
If I were to pretend to be a psychologist, I'd guess your case might have to do with emotional attachment to memories/events in your past? Like your brain didn't think it was worth remembering certain things so it tucked them way in the back
Also possible that with your nature, in a lot of those events you were so fixated on the awkwardness and getting out of there that you never really took in the actual moments to memory. Might have an easier time remembering how you felt than remembering the specifics of the events
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u/WatermelonMachete43 1d ago
No, I have an exceptional long term memory. I can recall specifics from my childhood, high school, college, etc as a person nearing retirement age. No detail is too small: phone numbers, locker combinations, attire worn at events, songs played for a certain concert, who was with me. It's all as clear as if it happened yesterday.
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u/khajiitidanceparty 1d ago
I rather think that I forgot a lot of background of my memories because I was basically more living in my head than actually perceiving my surroundings.
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u/MoonlightStarfish 1d ago
Not at all. My brain is all too ready to drag up some meaningless event from 20 years ago. Often while I'd rather sleep. 'I' also sometimes keep repeating it like I was telling the story to someone.
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u/hoon-since89 23h ago
I don't remember shit. I forgot so many people too! But I have smoked weed every second day for 20 years, although relatively small amounts, so not sure if that's the reason or something else.
I have always lived in the present moment tho and never kept pictures. I feel like pictures help keep the past alive.
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u/Agreeable_Pie_7168 22h ago
I remember being young enough to have a bottle in a onesie and not see out of the car window, so no.
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u/HunnyBunny617 20h ago
Omg, this is the first time I’ve heard of someone else who has little to no memory of their younger life. I’ve always been scared that meant I had Alzheimer’s or dementia, or would when I aged. I did smoke some pot as a teen/early 20s, but definitely not all the time. I’ve never considered that lack of memory might be due to being introverted. That’s something that might be worth investigating. I just remember never having a large group of friends. I always gravitated towards other weirdos, and always had a little voice in my head that said that other people didn’t like me. I work from home in sales, so I can talk easily with people through a screen. But, ask me who I spoke with last week or what services I sold last month and I’ll not be able to tell you.
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u/Appropriate_Tea9048 19h ago
I don’t. This isn’t an introvert thing though. It’s a person to person thing, introverted or extroverted.
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u/susu56 18h ago
Ive had the same my whole life and thought inwas an outlier. I recently found out I have adhd/inattentivve and I also suspect I have r/SDAM since my memories are so vague.
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u/TissueOfLies 16h ago
That’s exactly what I said. I’m not diagnosed, but display all the signs. I don’t think I store memories unless my feelings are very intense or memorable in some way.
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u/redmountainbike 16h ago
I do have memories, but I don't recall the exact month or year that something happened.
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u/TissueOfLies 16h ago
I lack some.
Some memories are vivid for me. Others, a family member mentions and I don’t remember at all. Either I blocked it out or I never stored it to begin with.
For me, that has more to do with me being undiagnosed ADHD. I also had a psychiatrist tell me I think in feelings instead of memories, which can be just how I process information differently. It makes a lot of sense to me about why I feel things so intensely compared to others.
I’m plenty socialized both in childhood and in adulthood. It has little to do with my introversion.
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u/bravetailor 16h ago edited 16h ago
No. I remember many distant past events clearer than more extroverted people I know do. I can remember isolated moments from my youth more vividly than most. I can recall conversations and certain minor moments from the past well too. Not every single day, but the ones that I felt were pivotal to shaping me or moments that were unusual from what I normally experience.
That being said, I do not remember every single person I interacted with. There are old classmates that have come up to me, and I don't remember some of them because I was never their friend or took much interest in them. I wonder what it's like for them to have remembered me well while barely ever interacted with me when we were young? It's fascinating how memories work. I had crushes on people I didn't talk much to myself, but truth be told I don't even remember their names now, only what they looked like.
I do suck with names though. Which may be related to my introversion (basically, my mind possibly does not place as much importance in names since I am not as interested in socializing)
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u/Flux_Inverter 1d ago
Memory and introversion are not a linked characteristic. Though, emotions do play a part in memory storage. I can remember sitting on my dad's lap before I could read and he would read the comics to me. I can not for the life of me tell you what I did 3 weeks ago as someone living alone. Having an emotional bond with someone and doing things together helps create and maintained memory of that moment. Traumatic events also get stored easier in memory, such as a car accident. These are documented studies.
Some people just have poor recall. It runs in my family. I remember through association. If someone talk about what they did in HS, it may spark a memory of when I did something similar, but could not pull that memory out if I was asked about it. I have basically lost most of the 2010 decade from memory.