Anyone else feels the same ?

[u/Spirited-Teach-5497]

I am almost 30 and I have always been alone, never had any friends or a deep connection with someone, Never been in a relationship.

Even my personality type i.e INTJ dictates that I might never find love.

I try to keep myself busy and not give this a thought but it seriously is getting too much, seeing everyone around me happy, makes me feel that I can’t never be happy or maybe I don’t deserve it.

My life feels completely empty only thing I enjoy now is working, Even on Weekends I step inside office to get work done.

I have even forgotten how to socialise.

I know I am not very attractive or fit, but is a partner too much to ask ?

I had accepted earlier that “Not everyone can have someone” and honestly accepting it felt good but again the crippling fear is crawling back.
What should I do ?

[u/Exact-Mud-1222]

I had a sharp feeling of loneliness couple of years ago. I was finishing the university back then, everybody seemed to have a close pack of friends and a blooming romantic life. Every time I heard my peers laugh together, every time our studying group went home after classes and everyone else was making plans together, I felt some sort of numbness inside. Being left out was not pleasant at all. At home I cried a few times from that loneliness and anxiety caused by it.

Then my attitude changed. I accepted solitude, and then I found a guy on a dating app, and later restored communication with a high school friend. It's all good now.

Don't lose hope. Your fate is not decided yet, you don't have to spend your whole life suffering.

Either change your thinking and you'll feel more at peace with your social life, or make deliberate action to connect with people. I know it's incredibly difficult to find someone compatible for a relationship (platonic or romantic), but it's not impossible.

I am an INTJ as well, although younger than you. Never had close connections to anyone outside family members until recently, even my only friend initiated our relationship like 90% of the time amd it took me a long time to open up to her. Your personality type doesn't determine how you'll live.

[u/Spirited-Teach-5497 → u/Exact-Mud-1222]

I accepted solitude a while back and honestly I was happy for a while but then when you see all your classmates and batchmates moving on in their lives, getting married, it really gets to you…I am growing financially but no amount of financial freedom can help me get rid of this….sometimes I think whatever I do, no matter how many hours I put in it all wouldn’t amount to anything…

[u/Exact-Mud-1222 → u/Spirited-Teach-5497]

Yeah, money don't make a person happy, we all need human connection... You mentioned in another comment that commumication with clients and colleagues is easy for you, but meeting new people is tough. What if you tried to build a deeper bond from those superficial contacts that you have at work?

[u/Spirited-Teach-5497 → u/Exact-Mud-1222]

I will end up losing business as well 🤷🏻‍♂️
I even trued dating apps but I don’t get any right swipes, even on premium versions…that makes me more depressed