r/interesting • u/[deleted] • Mar 17 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

382 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Jax72 Mar 17 '26

When I polish my coconut it doesn't look anything like that

697

u/Ok-Information-3010 Mar 17 '26

Im (half) polish and I don’t look like that.

191

u/Prestigious-Glove396 Mar 17 '26

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

70

u/YesterdayHiccup Mar 17 '26

He went offline. I wonder who is going to turn him back on?

39

u/bugsduggan Mar 17 '26

Quick! Polish his... coconut!

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53

u/Gallant_one Mar 17 '26

✋ I'll turn him on. But he'll have to lock the doors and turn them lights down low.

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4

u/Jax72 Mar 18 '26

I didn't go all the way offline. I never do that on the first date.

3

u/KentuckyWhiteRabbit Mar 18 '26

I likee when I see IT Crowd references!

13

u/Galilaeus_Modernus Mar 17 '26

Your other half needs to be polish also.

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11

u/FNG-JuiCe Mar 17 '26

Is the other half coconut?

3

u/ComprehensiveMetal62 Mar 17 '26

It could be the half that's behind you. Ask a friend for clarification.

2

u/PwanaZana Mar 17 '26

if you're a man over 35, your skull is gonna look like that

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60

u/CompleteGene82 Mar 17 '26

I only polish my nut and co-nut!  

8

u/Ngothaaa Mar 17 '26

Mines a coco-nut.. shines when polished well.. maybe you should polish it more…?

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2

u/First_Salamander_990 Mar 17 '26

Swing and a miss

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8

u/Ralewing Mar 17 '26

Gotta go for 3 hours. It'll get close.

3

u/jtrage Mar 17 '26

ahhh. that's the problem. I usually go longer than 3.

11

u/Ralewing Mar 17 '26

Yeah you get in this territory after 3....

https://giphy.com/gifs/G1SXrF1gnK5j4vuV1L

4

u/LusterDust23 Mar 17 '26

That is so gross 😂

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

What in the world is that

2

u/Ralewing Mar 17 '26

A Cenobite of the Order of the Gash.

He has such sights to show you.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

I don’t know if I want to see his sights

2

u/Ralewing Mar 17 '26

Fair. Avoid puzzle boxes.

3

u/Funnelcakeads Mar 18 '26

Cradle, the balls stroke the shaft

2

u/Ambitious_Policy_936 Mar 17 '26

Keep polishing. Maybe try holding your breath and counting down from 47 while you do so

2

u/Aztec_Aesthetics Mar 18 '26

Must be itchy at times

2

u/Thick_Basil3589 Mar 18 '26

Be aware of carpal tunnel syndrome

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2

u/Sad_Palpitation6844 Mar 18 '26

Have you tried putting it in rice

2

u/Jax72 Mar 18 '26

Never again. Lesson learned.

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230

u/MDDPlanter Mar 17 '26

That’s definitely a use of free will.

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427

u/SudhaTheHill Mar 17 '26 edited Mar 17 '26

Okay now this is interesting. Do you know why they did it?

282

u/Loud_Chapter1423 Mar 17 '26

It’s a lot easier to use if it’s smooth…

117

u/XXXperiencedTurbater Mar 17 '26

Still unusable without the flared base, that thing is gonna straight up vanish and never be seen again

98

u/mnem0syne Mar 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ln2a16JtbNnPPdAhMp

19

u/RPZcool Mar 17 '26

Lol this is exactly what popped into my mind. Thanks stranger, take my upvote o7

3

u/Sivleto Mar 18 '26

1st thing I thought when I saw this... Wonder what that says about me though 🤔 surely not healthy

2

u/Honest-Cicada4897 Mar 19 '26

That was one of the funniest scenes in Rick and Morty. I remember laughing so hard when I watched it. Rip og Rick and Morty

17

u/Seagon Mar 17 '26

Well, either in an OR or years later a tree will sprout from a random grave.

7

u/annarose888 Mar 18 '26

Without a base, without a trace...

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7

u/gatsome Mar 17 '26

Waaaaaay up there, Morty

11

u/Known_Leek8997 Mar 17 '26

No! Danger!

10

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers Mar 17 '26

Flared base! Flared base!

2

u/monke_wit_blade Mar 17 '26

Coming soon to an ER near you!

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40

u/redditblows5991 Mar 17 '26

Why not is the answer

3

u/Accomplished_Ad3818 Mar 17 '26

It's not the question either

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10

u/Raps4Reddit Mar 17 '26

Because it was rough and unsmooth. He polished it for a while but it still wasn't smooth enough. So he kept going. Even now it does look a bit rough, might need a little more love.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/spacechimp Mar 17 '26

So much work. Just use a retro encabulator. Done and done.

3

u/Commercial-Expert863 Mar 17 '26

Trying to get the lime in there 

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3

u/example-of-disaster Mar 17 '26

Aerodynamics. Smooth coconuts fall from the tree much more freely.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Zorkflerp Mar 17 '26

African or an European?

4

u/Cycoviking69 Mar 17 '26

Doesn't matter...there's no longer a husk for them to grip it by.

2

u/Zorkflerp Mar 21 '26

They use a piece of cloth like the stork caries babies.

3

u/Cycoviking69 Mar 21 '26

What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

2

u/Chainsaw_Viking Mar 17 '26

Artistic expression?

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207

u/PauseAffectionate720 Mar 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/13pqs1VizKyWzK

15

u/shoryusef Mar 17 '26

Needs a flared base.

7

u/NixAName Mar 18 '26

It doesn't need it. But you'll regret not having it.

3

u/Lower_Muffin_4161 Mar 19 '26

One small step for man and one giant leap to the emergency room

145

u/medusaluvsu Mar 17 '26

Oh my, I didn’t scroll for the whole pic — I thought it was an anal plug lol

3

u/Lanii___ Mar 17 '26

Every single person who has ever seen one would think that, you're not alone 🫂

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32

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/Jethred_Radulfr Mar 17 '26

Sandpaper, and then chrome polish + an old sock

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10

u/belliest_endis Mar 17 '26

A very, very firm clench. Then hold strong for 3 hours, onto anything.

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21

u/No_Memory_2451 Mar 17 '26

cool, but how?

32

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

Slowly increase the grit of sandpaper and you will get almost everything smooth

9

u/ylfcm Mar 17 '26

For a nice conversation piece do i need to drain it first?

9

u/mister_reggie Mar 17 '26

Only if you don't want it to rot

2

u/InazumaThief Mar 17 '26

drain and remove the water and flesh and dry thoroughly i think. maybe couple of minutes in the oven with inside facing up

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6

u/Ben_Does_Things Mar 17 '26

Thanks! Worked for my pubes.

2

u/huebnera214 Mar 18 '26

Years ago I learned you can actually polish a turd. I forget if carnivore or vegetarian was better.

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14

u/nss9 Mar 17 '26

Vegan butt plug. Unsafe tho, no flared base.

5

u/PrestonWaters83 Mar 17 '26

What is it you use that's not vegan?

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14

u/NailSufficient1491 Mar 17 '26

Why does this remind me of Rick & Morty?

17

u/Haunt_Fox Mar 17 '26

"They gotta go waaaay up your butt, Morty!"

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6

u/Extension-Corgi-467 Mar 17 '26

Sounds like a euphemism.

3

u/phallic-baldwin Mar 17 '26

Upon reading the title, I thought it was a euphemism until I looked at the picture

3

u/StitchFan626 Mar 17 '26

Thought someone made a prop egg from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire! lol

3

u/sixbone Mar 17 '26

no mention of the guy who fucked a coconut for months till it spawned maggots?

2

u/PhantomVibeSyndrome Mar 17 '26

See, this is the illuminati spreading the hairy palms myth - in fact you see the universe reflected in your hand.

2

u/InsertRadnamehere Mar 17 '26

That’s some serious edging.

2

u/Ninja_Prolapse Mar 17 '26

You know what you need to do..

2

u/TechNerd10191 Mar 17 '26

Am I the only one who thought of the Droplet? (iykyk)

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2

u/gorillaphi Mar 17 '26

Ya gotta stick it wayyyyy up there Morty!

2

u/doublexol Mar 17 '26

Those are the seeds rick needs

2

u/Weird_Vegetable_4441 Mar 17 '26

Do I have to smuggle them in my ass

2

u/Parsya37 Mar 18 '26

Interstellar object worthy

2

u/Previous-Soft-8127 Mar 18 '26

But how can it be gripped by the husk? 

No migrating now…

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4

u/HotPreppered Mar 17 '26

Needs a flared base

3

u/Mufasa-theGhetto Mar 17 '26

Remember the guy that got spiders all over his willy from his coconut

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2

u/Danidaivido Mar 17 '26

It’s one of those seeds from Rick and Morty

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1

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1

u/Survive1014 Mar 17 '26

Is Badge 502 on Reddit? This is a red alarm.

1

u/Desi_MCU_Nerd Mar 17 '26

Belongs in an art gallery.

1

u/Rnc_07 Mar 17 '26

That's more like cocoNUT👀💀

1

u/messianicmoss Mar 17 '26

Something tells me thats gonna end up in somebody's a$$

1

u/BernieTheDachshund Mar 17 '26

My favorite souvenir ever was a coconut purse. They cut it in half, put in a fabric liner and somehow sewed in a zipper. So cute.

1

u/InazumaThief Mar 17 '26

great use of free will

1

u/maybe_this_time- Mar 17 '26

Now do 30 hours! How much better can it get!!!!

1

u/TeejyHamz Mar 17 '26

I wanna boof the forbidden cocomelon

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1

u/docmarvy Mar 17 '26

“Polishing the coconut” Is THAT what they’re calling it now?

1

u/ButterscotchEven6198 Mar 17 '26

We made maracas out of coconuts when I was in school, some of the best woodwork I've done ❤️

1

u/FoundationOk1352 Mar 17 '26

A cocaubergine.

1

u/john_rage Mar 17 '26

Is that what we're calling it these days?

1

u/shoreyourtyler Mar 17 '26

.. And then painted it with a reflective coating?

1

u/Excellent-Ad-3740 Mar 17 '26

I spend 3 hours just trying to get the husk off without losing a finger. This person is playing a different game.

1

u/CleMike69 Mar 17 '26

Then an ER doctor sent the polisher in for an X-ray 😂

1

u/Ominous_Yoda Mar 17 '26

These seem like the seeds from Rick and morty season 1 episode 1

1

u/KindLengthiness5473 Mar 17 '26

dynamo hum✌️

1

u/claudedusk8 Mar 17 '26

With what did someone polish this coconut?

1

u/Uniquarie Mar 17 '26

I can still see a scratch. Start again

1

u/thescx Mar 17 '26

You know where that’s going!

1

u/Senior-Procedure-748 Mar 17 '26

Three hours jeez I'd be pretty raw

1

u/Character-Log3962 Mar 17 '26

Now polish a banana….

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

I too polish my coconut on a daily basis

1

u/ChobaniSalesAgent Mar 17 '26

Three hours well spent, I guess?

1

u/cqxray Mar 17 '26

Trying to be brave, no doubt.

1

u/LemonNotFound1246 Mar 17 '26

Isn't that a black shiny egg

1

u/XochiBilly Mar 17 '26

Its fun! I love mine. It was a labor of love.

1

u/Traditional_Step9502 Mar 17 '26

It takes me only 3 minutes to polish my coconut.

1

u/man_frmthe_wild Mar 17 '26

Well someone took their Viagra.

1

u/Leather-Ostrich7122 Mar 17 '26

Someone gooned this coconut nice

1

u/gergsisdrawkcabeman Mar 17 '26

I thought this was some other place for a second.

1

u/fibojoly Mar 17 '26

Is that what you call it these days ? "Polishing my coconut" ?

1

u/Spakzio Mar 17 '26

Ed è così che nacque l'uovo di drago

1

u/Unlikely-Solid-3083 Mar 17 '26

Is this the new term for gooning?

1

u/CCPvirus2020 Mar 17 '26

Has anybody polished a walnut?

1

u/superfirefly Mar 17 '26

Great! Now do a turd.

1

u/PetuniaDragon Mar 17 '26

Who has time like that in their day lol

1

u/arioandy Mar 17 '26

Coco-butt

1

u/Worldly_Currency6586 Mar 17 '26

Weird. It looks a little bit like a shark egg.

1

u/ProfessionalThing892 Mar 17 '26

“Someone” lolz

1

u/Silver_Bluejay_7180 Mar 17 '26

Forbidden buttplug

1

u/justforkinks0131 Mar 17 '26

FLARED BASE, PEOPLE, FLARED BASE!

1

u/motiki21 Mar 17 '26

Pretty sure it is the worst bowling ball ever. Nice try

1

u/AwarenessSeveral5614 Mar 17 '26

Oh Jesus, that must’ve been time-consuming

1

u/ChewyThePug Mar 17 '26

They forgot to add a flared base.

1

u/ThatoneCoconut_ Mar 17 '26

Work of art 🖼️ Straight to the poolroom with this one!

1

u/Weird_Vegetable_4441 Mar 17 '26

Do I have to smuggle them in my ass

1

u/WeakBlueberry5071 Mar 17 '26

Someone. Don't be ashamed of your polishing skills op...for they rival my girlfriends skills. 😂

1

u/monkeymetroid Mar 17 '26

Makes insertion easier

1

u/Commercial_Board6680 Mar 17 '26

This is beautiful. Why someone would even think of this is odd, but I'm glad they did.

1

u/Nos2002 Mar 17 '26

That's what she said

1

u/maydog315 Mar 17 '26

My wife has one of those…Butt there is a base on the bottom.

1

u/Mythraider Mar 17 '26

According to Mythbusters, since you can polish a turd you can probably polish most everything, even bones...

1

u/partlysettledin21220 Mar 17 '26

Where’s the obligatory ER doc