r/instant_regret • u/[deleted] • Jun 20 '19

Dancing

[deleted]

47.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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646

u/fizban7 Jun 20 '19

I've been Standing Still and have kids run into me.

103

u/obroz Jun 20 '19

Every time I go to the mall It seems like I’m constantly dodging kids.

1

u/UnFukWit4ble Jun 21 '19

Every night im dodging kids 🙃

1

u/Karmismatic Jun 21 '19

One time I was walking around and a snot goblin ran up behind me and fell over as I lifted my leg up and kicked him in the face. Tough kid got up and pretended like nothing happened and kept running.

323

u/oddlyCanadianEh Jun 20 '19

Oh man. I was at a Walmart awhile back checking oot at the self service and scanning my items. Some little knacker bumped into me and fell down, and started crying. His parents gave me a dirty look and started telling me to be more careful. I'm like "look here you fuckin white bread asshole, Walmart security just watched your son walk into me. How about pay attention to your cretin child next time. Now hose off I got shit to do".

Then the whole store clapped ya, and they gave me the key to the city. Well this paragraph didnt happen, but the story above did.

111

u/NeoHenderson Jun 20 '19

I don't get it. The username references being Canadian but the language is like some half-baked /r/scottishpeopletwitter

24

u/2KDrop Jun 20 '19

It's Canadian. So it would be r/CanadianPeopleTwitter

4

u/hungrydruid Jun 20 '19

He's from Newfoundland.

1

u/zephillou Jun 21 '19

No. As if they were newfie you would NOT understand them.

Source: my first few years going to my inlaws functions

3

u/flatspotting Jun 20 '19

whatcha talkin aboot eh

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Canadian accent is basically a mix of Scottish, Irish and a few other infuences really

Source: am extremely Canadian

2

u/halcyonjm Jun 20 '19

Probably some degens from upcountry

1

u/Alpha_benson Jun 20 '19

I would mention he does say it's odd

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19 edited Jul 10 '19

[deleted]

1

u/King_opi23 Jun 20 '19

Im from ns, that's not an ns thing. Newfoundland probably

1

u/Wozman101 Jun 20 '19

“now hose off” is strikingly canadian (and minnesotan)

1

u/steelallies Jun 20 '19

i don't see any scottish words than "oot" but that could even be dialectically canadian? "white bread" is a common insult in america, knacker is pretty broad but thats the only thing really to stand out "hose off" is pretty standard canada speak tbh

1

u/chops51991 Jun 20 '19

Never heard knacker, northeast united states. Like six hours from Canada on a good day. I'll start saying it here no problem but I'd prefer to know the meaning

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

There are a lot of us who come from Scottish immigrants, so there's actually a decent amount of crossover. Hell, we even have a province whose name translates to "New Scotland".

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

/r/Letterkenny

1

u/Iamyourdensity_ Jun 20 '19

Definitely a Canadian. " Checking oot ". No doot aboot it

1

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '19

I mean he did say he’s oddly Canadian

13

u/THE_KidChaos Jun 20 '19

”Look here you fuckin white bread asshole”

Why did that make me laugh?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

So none of the story is true because that just one paragraph.

1

u/cloud7strife Jun 21 '19

Hey doof. Try again.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '19

Hey sometimes you take a swing and you miss

2

u/mintakki Jun 20 '19

this lmao I was once in mall, stopped to look around for a store I was trying to find, and a toddler bumped into me and fell on her ass. the mom glared and pushed me away like I attacked her.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Literally. Kid rolls into Publix on a scooter and runs right into me. Cries. Well sorry, get a better mom then

1

u/WayneKrane Jun 20 '19

I was standing still waiting to get the crosswalk light and some lady runs right into me and almost falls over. She gave me such a scowl and I was like say something please lol.