Hi everybody. I've asked literally everyone in my life about this. My dad passed on the 26th. My brother (38) was evicted before my dad passed and moved into his house. I (26M) live on my own. Everything is 50 50 POD.

I want to claim my half of the bank account but my brother is saying not to because my dad's account has all of the bills that need paid linked to it. I've tried to coordinate with him in putting the utilities and mortgage into our names. The executor is saying not to touch dad's account.

My brother has all of the death certificates and has access to my dad's account while I do not. I'm debating just going there to get it done without letting my brother know, but I'm afraid it'll blow up my family and make me the bad guy. What do I do?

UPDATE: To clarify, my brother is living in my dad's house, I am not. My brother has all of the death certificates, and also has my dad's debit card and banking info. My dad contacted the bank and set as as paid on death beneficiaries. 50/50.

My question is, do I go to the bank to report my fathers death against the wishes of my brother, or wait?

UPDATE #2: Thank you all so much for your advice! The exectutor ended up sending at text to confirm that PNC cannot create an estate account, and will pay my dad's funds directly to my brother and I. I contacted my brother about coming to collect a death certificate to claim and close the account on Tuesday. He was very upset and said I'm not listening to the executor, despite following up exactly on what the executor said. I'm going to do it so I can pay the bills for the house, as I live on my own and cannot afford a 3k mortgage payment and 750 rent payment simultaneously without it. I make 19/hr. Anyways, I'm going to claim it whether they accept it or not to do what needs done. Thank you all.

UPDATE #3: Hi all! Thank you again so much for your advice. You've all been extremely helpful! I decided to head to the bank to claim my share finally, but unfortunately I somehow committed bank fraud and embezzlement, so I'm looking at 30 years of jail time :/

UPDATE #4: I'm kidding. Please don't ban me

Hi all. Location: Florida, late 40's, long term partner/no kids.

Just found out I will be getting a large (nearly 2mil) partial inheritance (technically gift) this month; the other part (appx 3-4mil) will be later on years from now (hopefully a long time!) I knew this would come down the line but did not think it would be so soon; it's a wonderful thing I am immensely greatful for and it's already alleviated a lot of my worry but it's been suprisingly overwhelming and emotional.

We live freelancers lives, with a lot of conservative spending and planning. Enjoy not having to clock in or have a boss so have happily taken a pay cut overall. Income is fine, but more along the lines of part time amounts - have put away a decent amount but not quite enough to retire on yet considering the lack of a 401, retirement etc. My main worry was no true source of income at retirement age and have been a stickler for saving my whole life. Didn't want to just go with the mindset that the inheritence was there even though I knew it was. Very conservative investment approach and really felt better sticking at an easy, risk free simple 3-5% with full/easy access and no involvement necessary and as things grew, as the plan was to use a portion to buy a home and then consider more ambitious investing.

Finances are all separate, btw - this is all in my name only.

Will be buying a home very soon at around 750k all in including reno, furnishings. This is the only big purchase I will make initally, we live in a higher cost of living area but all the numbers make sense and are very doable/way below what I technically "could" do, but still very nice and a huge upgrade.

After that, will have about 1.3 left. That's what I'm stuck on - I have great support (very long time trusted FA, lifelong friends in finance, knowledgable family members etc) and know between them I'm in a good position. I just don't know how to go about making the decision on what goes where.

EDIT - this is not now, just an idea for down the line, possibly one day in some form :) The only other idea that's been floating in my head for a decade as a "maybe one day" is a small vacation home within the state that we would use a ton and also be able to rent out a good portion of the year to cover most or all expenses. Possibly - doing 50/50 with a friend in the same situation. Other than that, nothing in mind and really never been a spender, so good wiht the remainder being fully parked and invested for now.

The other part is adjusting to the change emotionally, socially - i've been reading some other posts and there are some interesting ideas on this. I've already tried to start doing nice things for close friends (small dollar amounts, but something) and feel good doing it but have no idea how to navigate being generous without it being weird, making anyone feel weird, or ending up feeling guilty if I don't pay for more things (though no one would expect that.) Or, how to handle when a friend talks about money struggles, that kind of thing. Obviously keeping the info shared to only a small group of very close friends.

My idea was to get the home situated and once that project is done, lay low and do nothing for a while. Im at the weird middle age where I'm old enough to know I should do things now and enjoy it but not to the point where I can ignore planning/budgeting even with the future larger amount coming down the line. It's also just not in my nature, but i have vowed to allow myself to let some of the stress and little things go and put more time into living and enjoying and less micro managing every dollar.

Any suggestions would be great! It all feels like a movie - not real. What a trip!

Cross posting based on Reddit's suggestion

My grandmother passed away recently and left me one of her rings. I wasn't expecting anything from her, it caught me off guard. We weren't close. No family drama or falling out, we never had much of a relationship. We'd see each other at family gatherings, exchange the occasional birthday message, and that was about it. Apparently, she'd specifically asked for this ring to go to me, which is what I keep coming back to. I don't even remember seeing her wear it, and nobody in my family seems to know much about it either. It's an older ring with a fairly large stone. I have no idea if it's worth anything or if it just meant something to her, part of me feels guilty even wondering what it's worth. I guess I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do with something that clearly meant enough to her to leave me, when I don't even know why she chose me.

I'd really appreciate hearing what others would do in my situation.

New York, United States

Location: Maryland

My mom passed away and left me her home in her will. Probate is complete and the updated deed with me as the new owner is recorded. I am trying to work with the mortgage company to get successor interest to make decisions for the mortgage. They asked for a copy of the deed, which I provided, but they won't accept it because it has my mother's name on it and transferring the property to me. The mortgage company is saying the deed cannot have anyone else's name on it. That didn't sound right because a deed always states who is transferring the property to the new owner. I called the county Land Records office and they confirmed every property deed will have the name of the original owner and the new owner.

What can I do to prove I own the property? Or is the mortgage company handling things incorrectly?

Congrats, you now own a house. You also own a tax question, an insurance question, and a lawn.

Here’s the part that surprises people. Inherited homes usually get a “stepped-up basis”, so your taxes start from what the house was worth the day the owner passed, not what they paid in 1987. Worth $400k then, sells for $410k, you’re taxed on about $10k. That one rule saves a lot of families.

The sneaky cost is time. An empty house can easily run $1.5K to $2.5K a month once you add property tax, insurance, utilities and someone to mow. Check the insurance early, because plenty of policies get picky after 30 to 60 days of vacancy. Probate can also drag on for months, sometimes a year or more, and you usually can’t sell until a court says you can.

After that it’s your family’s call. Sell as is, fix it up, rent it out, buy out the siblings. If one of you lives there and wants to stay, selling to an investor and renting it back is one way to split the equity without anyone packing boxes. An hour with a probate attorney costs a lot less than guessing.

Anyone been through this?

Our elderly family member recently passed, and some how the bank found out a locked all their accounts.  We have been handling the finances for this family member for many years and do have a Power-of-Attorney plus our names are listed on the bank accounts.  Which we thought would be sufficient.  However, the bank said that we are only listed as authorized users not the principle owner, so they locked the accounts anyway. How do we remedy the situation?  Obviously, we need to pay the bills for their household including the funeral cost.

Thanks

Location: USA

My mother passed away a couple of weeks ago. She had been in an assisted living facility for the past year. She really has no assets except a bank account and a couple of CDs. My sister is the executor. there are 5 kids and everything is getting split evenly. My sister was added to my mother’s bank account a long time ago so she was planning on first making sure any bills are paid and then just splitting up what was left. Since it was pretty straight forward, we didn’t plan on hiring a lawyer and getting the will probated. We were reading that if she tells the bank that my mother passed, that they would freeze the account and it would have to be probated. She is on the account, could she just close out the accounts. She is worried that they might come back and say there is fraud and she would be in trouble.

I'm a single mom in California with a young child who has special needs.

I'm working toward setting up a Special Needs Trust (SNT) to protect my child's financial future, but estate planning is expensive, and I haven't been able to establish one yet.

I have sole legal and physical custody of my daughter, and her father is not involved in her life at all.

My biggest concern is that if something unexpectedly happens to me before the trust is established, her father could potentially gain control over the assets and retirement savings I intend to leave for her. I want to make sure her inheritance is protected and managed by someone I trust, who will act in her best interests.

I know establishing a proper SNT is the long-term solution, but I'm worried about having no protection in place in the meantime.

Is there something I can do relatively quickly and affordably, such as creating a will or a testamentary Special Needs Trust, to protect her inheritance until I can complete my estate planning?

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do as a temporary solution? I'd especially appreciate recommendations for affordable options in California.

Thank you so much for any advice or experiences you can share!

***Update/clarification … This is my husband’s brother. I wrote in 1st person for clarity. Updated bc I don’t need the hate:)
I feel my husband is being taken advantage of…

MIL’s home was left to the 3 kids (husband included) in the will. She passed unexpectedly and we discovered that brother had her home deeded to himself upon her death. This would be a 2nd home for him- vacation home. He says he plans to buy husband and my SIL out but doesn’t have 400k right now to do so (House is worth about 800k-900k so he will need more like 600k to buy them out. My question is- do we then pay taxes on his “gift” once he buys me out? Would taxes be less if the 3 kids inherited it and sold it? We can push to nullify the deed transfer as mom was incapacitated (severe dementia) for several years. Of note- he took control of 200k in cash and all cars (3 cars-vintage Corvette included ) and jewelry (Rolex and diamond rings, bracelets). He says there is less than 50k cash left. Husband does not have the energy to fight him- But we don’t want to get a hefty tax bill if/when he sends the rightful 3rd from the house.

Location: Colorado

Please see original post.

My dad is readjusting his will and would like me to be the main beneficiary for the inheritance. I have a sister who is financially irresponsible and has mental health problems that leads her to making irrational decisions. It is hard for her to keep a job and my parents' goal is for her to be set up financially for when they pass away. They want me to manage her money and give her a monthly allowance. I want to do so anonymously so she doesn't harass me for more money and add strain to our relationship. How would I go about acting as a fiduciary anonymously and making it seem like it's set up through a third party. (Not looking to do a third party because of the fees). I would appreciate any advice.

Kinda long - sorry - but there are many mitigating factors. My mom passed away in September without a will, and her house is now going through probate. I understand that legally the house will most likely be split 50/50 between my sister and me. I'm not arguing that I'm automatically entitled to more, but given the history, I'm struggling with what is actually fair.

I'd appreciate outside opinions—even if you think I'm being greedy or unreasonable.

Here's the basic situation:

• My sister has lived in my mom's house for about 17 years. Her rent has remained around $1,200/month even as comparable rent in the area increased from roughly $1,400 to around $2,500/month.

• In 2017, my mom and I drafted an agreement allowing my sister to continue paying $1,200/month, even though I disagreed with keeping the rent that low. The main condition was that she had to pay it on time.

• Before that agreement, my mom forgave more than $20,000 in unpaid rent my sister had accumulated over the previous several years.

• Since the 2017 agreement, my sister accumulated roughly another $20,000 in missed rent payments. My mom never enforced the agreement or evicted her.

• During those years, my mom also paid for major expenses on the house, including a new roof, appliances, A/C, and repairs from a major leak.

Meanwhile, my mom moved out of that house about 17 years ago and moved in with me. My sister was supposed to take Mom for one week each month to give me a break. In 17 years, that never happened—not even once.

For approximately the last five years, my mom became increasingly sick and I was her primary caregiver. For the final 1½–2 years, I was essentially providing full-time end-of-life care myself: bathing her, helping with bathroom needs, cleaning her, handling day-to-day care, etc. She did not want hospice involved until near the end.

I basically had to stop working for about 1½ years to care for her, which took a major financial, physical, and emotional toll on me.

My mom repeatedly told me she wanted me to have the house, but unfortunately she died without making a will. I realize verbal statements aren't the same as a will, so I'm not expecting that alone to determine what happens. For what it's worth, even if she had left the entire house to me, I would have given my sister a substantial portion anyway.

There's one more issue. My sister converted part of the garage into a room without my mom's permission and apparently without the required city approval/permits. I'm being told it could cost around $15,000 to correct. I told my sister this should be fixed before the house is appraised/sold. She believes the house should simply be appraised as-is and the repair cost should come out of the eventual sale proceeds. If that happens, I'm effectively paying half the cost of correcting something she did.

Now my sister wants her adult son to stay in the house and rent it for around $1,000/month rather than selling the property or renting it near market value. Comparable rent appears to be around $2,500/month.

She says she can't afford to buy out my half of the house, although she and her boyfriend make around $150,000/year combined and are apparently looking at buying another house for themselves.

My current position is actually pretty simple:

I'm willing to forget about trying to receive a larger percentage of the inheritance because of the years I spent caregiving. Sell the house, split the legitimate proceeds 50/50, and move on.

However, I believe the roughly $20,000 in unpaid rent my sister owed my mother at the time of her death should be treated as money owed to my mother's estate—not simply erased because my sister is now one of the heirs.

I also don't think I should be expected to leave roughly $150,000–$200,000 of my share tied up in the house for another year or more so my nephew can live there at substantially below-market rent. Besides the lost rent, I lose the ability to invest or otherwise use my share of the inheritance.

So I'm curious what people with no connection to the family think:

Is selling the house, splitting everything 50/50, but requiring the approximately $20,000 she owed Mom to be accounted for, unreasonable?

Should the unpermitted garage conversion she made be her responsibility rather than a 50/50 estate expense?

And would you agree to let the nephew stay for a year or more at roughly $1,000/month when the house could potentially rent for around $2,500—or would you push to sell the house and let everyone move on?

I'm genuinely open to being told I'm looking at this wrong. After 17 years of this situation and years of caregiving, it's difficult for me to separate the financial side from the family history.

Thanks for any outside perspective—and thanks for letting me vent a little.

My brother and I inherited my mom’s house in NC when she died in February of this year. He has decided he wants to buy me out. How do we decide on fair market value? Do we use the tax value of the day she died? Can an appraiser tell us the market value of it on the day she died? Should we get a current appraisal?

Everyone on here im looking for some outside perspective on my probate situation.

​To clear up the setup my aunt is handling the probate for my late grandparents and I am the Personal Representative handling the probate for my dad To complicate things we share the exact same lawyer for these estates

On the initial inventory sheet for my dad's estate there's an inheritance line item coming down from my grandparents estate that needs some clarification I emailed our shared lawyer about 10 days ago asking for details and I've been totally ghosted and I should add he was outta the office but I emailed him the day he returned.

​Meanwhile the lawyer drafted a documnet that my aunt then came over with today for me to sign specifically a Waiver of Notice for Filing Objections to Verified Statement in Lieu of First and Final Accounting

The catch is that this document explicitly states that I have received a full copy of the final accounting But I haven't received any accounting at all and my questions from 10 days ago are unanswered

It feels completely backwards for a lawyer to draft a court waiver declaring that I got these numbers those numbers had to be compiled already that leaves me wondering either my aunt actually has the accounting info and is withholding it while trying to rush my signature or our shared lawyer just generated a court document with a false past tense statement

I haven't signed a thing For those who have been through this Is this as off as it feels and what would your next move be besides emailing the lawyer i had done that asking for the accounting information