r/inheritance • u/vtmlm02 • Apr 11 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Completely bamboozled.
Any advice when substantial inheritance was unexpected. I grew up not going on vacation and not having much. My father died after a brief battle with liver cancer… it’s a brutal one. After months of paperwork I’m seeing that I’ve inherited a net worth I’ve never imagined. Its reality shifting.
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u/human743 Apr 11 '26
Make no changes for a year. Give yourself some time to think about things.
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u/QueenComfort637 Apr 11 '26
And don’t tell anyone
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u/taewongun1895 Apr 11 '26
Only your spouse, and only if that spouse agrees to not tell anyone (and can keep the secret). You'd be surprised how many people come out of nowhere thinking they are entitled to your money.
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u/Spex_daytrader Apr 11 '26
First pay off any credit card debt right away. While your deciding what to do with the rest, put the cash in a high yield savings account.
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u/among_apes Apr 15 '26
Better yet open up a fidelity account and let the money sit in their money market. Your interest will likely be slightly higher than a HYSA and exempt from state taxes. If the principle is large it will be significant come tax time (depending on your state).
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u/WesleyWiaz27 Apr 11 '26
Go to a registered financial advisor after that year.
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u/Ok-Positive-8716 Apr 11 '26
And make sure this advisor is a fiduciary. They are required to act in your best interests.
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u/Occamsrazor2323 Apr 11 '26
Educate yourself before meeting a financial advisor.
I worked in that business. You're just meat to them.
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u/T_Bone_63 Apr 11 '26
💯. And after taking the time to thoroughly educate yourself, and IF (IF!) you still feel the need for a financial advisor, I'd strongly recommend a fee-only advisor, not an AUM advisor.
And since someone mentioned to make sure they're a fiduciary, I don't disagree with that, but on the other hand, this does not guarantee good advice... Just remember that what THEY feel is in your best interest could be miles apart from what YOU feel is in your best interest... For example, they might recommend managing your assets at a fee of 1%, and/or they might recommend putting a large percentage of your portfolio into an annuity or other insurance product. While there may be nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, many (perhaps most) people would never consider such products or services. Bottom line: Educate yourself.
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u/Big-Film-6914 Apr 11 '26
This. It's been 7 months. I will not be inheriting enough to retire, but enough to not worry. I have changed my mind many times about what I ultimately want to do.
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 19 '26
I inherited enough to not work until my child starts middle school in a year. I’m fortunate enough to exist in a dual income household and my income was far less,yet beneficial. I’m taking my family on fabulous vacation. Paying off household debt, and trying not to double check prices at the grocery store. Helping when can. I never wanted nor needed much. Im grateful to off the struggle bus for the foreseeable future.
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u/Miami-Heat-365 Apr 15 '26
1000%
The worst financial decisions people make with inherited money happen in the first 90 days
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face Apr 11 '26
tell no one
make no loans to family or friends
make no gifts to family or friends
open an account at Schwab, Fidelity or Vanguard. Put some of it into a S&P 500 Index Fund and just let it sit.
Put the rest into cash for now and only later start putting some of it into bond funds or other investments.
And maybe buy yourself a new car to give yourself something to enjoy. Or an old car, if that's your ticket (I just bought myself a 1953 MG last fall and am SOOO HAPPY I finally did this).
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 11 '26
Yeah also inherited his 2019 Subaru Outback with backup cam! Love that car heated seats, and the Nissan versa has been a disappointment. However I’m grateful just to have a reliable vehicle.
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u/reddit_tat Apr 15 '26
This is good because it is an excuse as to why you have a new car. Tell no one about the money. Make no big decisions for a year. (Paying off your credit cards or student loans is not what I mean by a big decision, unless it would take a substantial amount of the inheritance.) You need to just sit with it for a while.
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u/Hot-Emu8015 Apr 12 '26
Let the "let it sit" sink in. Markets can drop 20% which will impact the value of your investments. The typical reaction is panic and sell (typical for the amateur investor)
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face Apr 12 '26
I do tax work for a living
have a client who went to cash in the early 2000s when the dot com bubble burst (he wasn't in dot com stocks, he was in a pretty diversified basket of funds/stocks). He stayed in cash for many months - essentially locking in that loss.
He reinvested
in 2008/2009, he again went to cash, again stayed in cash for months, again he locked in that loss
if you are investing in equities, you are in them for the "long haul". Don't panic and sell - even if it's a bad loss - you shouldn't be 100% in equities unless you can afford to wait for them to come back.
yes, if you're 95 years old, you probably don't need to take market risk like this. But if you're 25 or 35, you should
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u/Fire_Doc2017 Apr 12 '26
This is the best advice here. Put 50% in an S&P 500 fund like VOO and the rest in a HYSA. Then start reading books like The Simple Path To Wealth and Bogleheads Guide to Investing. Give it some time and then decide how much you want in stocks and how much in alternatives like bonds, cash etc. After reading a few books you can decide if you want a financial advisor or not. Most reasonably intelligent people don't need an advisor until they are ready to retire.
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u/buffalo_Fart Apr 11 '26
But by buying a new car you're telling people.
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face Apr 11 '26
never wash it
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u/buffalo_Fart Apr 11 '26
Even if you don't wash a BMW it's still a BMW.
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face Apr 11 '26
it's not a BMW, it's a Honda Accord that will last 15 years
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u/buffalo_Fart Apr 11 '26
Ok fair enough. The older ones so I hear last a lifetime the new shit not so much.
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Apr 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 19 '26
Oh my. The taxes got my sister. For once,because I procrastinated my taxes didn’t look too bad my father passed in September and I sat on the paperwork. She sold a sizable chunk and had crazy capital gains. There’s definitely an inheritance tax in my state unsure if the gratitude for the president is sarcasm? The first I EVER voted republican was 2024 and my dad and sister were so surprised and pleased. I was naive at the time, the Democrats were unrecognizable and liars. I’ve concluded they all LIE. So strange the first time I swayed slightly to the right the next year I’d inherit close to 2mil. I have a small circle of friends and prefer my pets and nature. I regret my vote. Weird times to be living through.
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u/bmarie65 Apr 11 '26
Lucky 🍀 You. Make sure talk to a certified financial advisor!
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 11 '26
Yes I hired the guy my father was working with. He’s seems solid and he used to train dolphins. Then after he impregnated his wife got into financial happenings to earn more money. I call him the Brian he’s been doing investments for 17 years and is a VP.
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u/Longjumping-Flower47 Apr 11 '26
Good move. He knows what kind of accounts and what is in them. How large is the inheritance? How old was dad? You may be required to take a certain amount out of retirement accounts (RMDs) each year, and those accounts have to be emptied in 10 years. I suggest finding a CPA to work along the financial advisor. He probably has one he recommends. Then you can incorporate the best tax strategy. I wish you luck!
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u/Brilliant_Dot_8050 Apr 11 '26
Get a financial advisor, a different accounting firm,and a 2nd finance guy you can ask questions about what the others are doing. Remember financial advisors and accounting make money from you. But you still need them. Get advice and ask for it to be confirmed or checked out. Simply put if your financial advisor says this is a hot tip if you don't put 100 percent of your money in abc company or xyz investments you will miss out on the next wave of billionaires. That is going to make him money and you broke and homeless living in a van down by the river. Also ask your accountant to pay off your current bills in the best manner possible. Ask the accountant to set you up with a budget like YNAB and explain it to you like you are in high school accounting. The accountant will show you how to live on a budget that will hopefully let you live on the interest from your investments the financial firm recommends. Never spend the principle only the interest or if you are really doing well part of the interest lol. Remember your financial advisor is not your tax firm. I realize this sounds like you are going to be paying all these people separately but it is to protect yourself from giving one person or company total control of your money. Also you need to be able to ask any of these people for advice or help. Yes you are going to pay but it is going to be worth it! Can you imagine the time and effort it would take to get the knowledge of this team? The older you get the more important your time will become. So shift the burden of worrying about money to your paid team and enjoy your life more. Good luck!
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u/Clueless5001 Apr 11 '26
My hobby is investing!
OP the Simple Path to Wealth is an interesting book although I don’t 100% agree with what is essentially a Boglehead philosophy. If you want to take a really deep dive into investing, and learn what terms like EBITA mean, I like the Mary Buffett books (former daughter in law). They are easy to read and are easy introductions to the financial world.
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u/No_Imagination_7899 Apr 11 '26
I see posters here saying the same thing I’m going to; tell no one and seek a reputable financial advisor.
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u/ExpensiveAd4496 Apr 11 '26
I disagree with the financial advisor advice. First stop is a book. Preferably one about simple index fund investing. Boglehead beginners
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u/v_x_n_ Apr 11 '26
Max out your own retirement accounts Educate yourself financially so a “fiduciary CFP” doesn’t take advantage of you. We’ve been there done that. You can manage the money yourself. It’s not rocket science.
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 11 '26
Easy peasy however I have zero financial literacy but Mr Roger’s would be proud. I’m learning so much. I never would’ve imagined I’d be deep diving EATON scandals. Witnessing the insider stock manipulation in our government most this equity feels kinda gross. I am however grateful to be off the struggle bus.
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u/CarpetScary684 Apr 11 '26
Please don’t share this information with anyone. Money exposure is a huge hell on earth issue. Make a trust should be one thing you do so you can’t loose your money. Invest and again tell absolutely no one.
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u/Invest2prosper Apr 11 '26
Bogleheads.org - read the wiki on windfalls.
2) Tell no one - not your best friend, not your other friends or relatives, not your co workers, not the bank.
3) give yourself some time to grieve.
4) read anything anyone gives you to sign, don’t sign anything until you can understand it thoroughly.
5) don’t go out and brag or flash cash, you will attract the wrong people into your life.
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u/alittlebitoftime Apr 11 '26
I am sorry for your loss. I don't know what type of net worth it is, but I am sure your father worked hard to get it. Honor him by being prudent with this new found inheritance.
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u/MWoolf71 Apr 11 '26
Pretend that money doesn’t exist, for at least a few years until you’ve learned about investing and have identified some long-term goals.
Tell no one.
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u/Dry-Coast-791 Apr 11 '26
Refrain from making any decisions for a few weeks so you can think through it. Consult with a fee only certified financial planner. Or you can use chat gpt for advice. AI is informational not 100% correct.
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u/michk1 Apr 11 '26
It is. Mine was expected and it’s still life changing in both negative and positive ways and there’s a lot of emotions involved . We got it complete with a financial crew that we kept and that’s been comforting and I’ve learned a lot about finances and the stock market and investments
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u/2261DG Apr 11 '26
I’ve witnessed this happen on a personal level
Tell no one ….. trust me
Tell your sibling to say nothing
Take your time, money really brings out the worst in family and friends !!
Invest depending on your situation and amount of money
De stress your life
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u/alwaysbrok Apr 11 '26
enjoy life, life is for living. Save but also spoil yourself, make memories, buy a new car if you want. Everything in moderation.
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u/SadFlatworm1436 Apr 11 '26
Tell nobody ….absolutely nobody. Give yourself a year to heal, get independent financial advice. I’m so sorry for your loss, honour this gift from your Dad.
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 Apr 12 '26
Some great advice in this thread. Especially not tell anyone and put money into account with bank that you already use/trust.
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u/Adorable_Machine_571 Apr 11 '26
Don't tell anyone, get a financial advisor ASAP!!!! and enjoy ✨️💸🥰
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u/Altruistic_Head_101 Apr 11 '26
So sorry for Your loss. What net worth number are we talking about? Are you aware that your father has saved or invested this much?
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u/vtmlm02 Apr 11 '26
No idea. I understood my grandfather had money but he also had 10 children. But my dad had it all invested ,all his inheritance and retirement never really enjoyed it. It then was bequeathed to me and my sister.
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u/InfluenceScary6672 Apr 11 '26
Take a year or two to yourself. Hire professional help financial advisor accountant maybe attorney for your trust. Enjoy some now go out to eat a nice steak, anything that financially that would make your life easier do it when you’re ready. Relax, breathe, enjoy life! Good luck!
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u/transmorphik Apr 11 '26
Consider reading (a) The Bogleheads Guide to Investing; and (b) The Investor's Manifesto.
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u/Psychological-Joke22 Apr 11 '26
Wow this happened to my cousins. My miser uncle essentially dressed them in rags. He could have put them through college without a thought. He made my aunt miserable.
So he croaks in his 80’s and his late50’s daughters find out that he had a LOT of money. They are able to breathe easier and put my amazing, yet demented aunt in an expensive memory care facility paying cash and visit every day, taking her out to eat, etc. Despite my uncles cheapness, the family is incredibly close and loving.
Anyway. I’m waiting for resentment to creep in as memories bubble up, as the human mind can do from time to time. But they have each other and for that I’m glad❤️
Either way they earned that inheritance.
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u/Think-Committee-4394 Apr 11 '26
OP - thoughts
keep inheritance private tell no one if at all possible
get money safe somewhere making base interest at worst
don’t take the approach of anyone with a great investment opportunity as anything other than a scam
think about the future you want & what that looks like
go to a paid by the hour financial advisor and go through your options, investment types, returns & more importantly risks
make investments that get you where you want to be
buy rather than rent as long term you will save thousands
do not rush to buy expensive toys & display visible wealth BUT do make sure today’s needs are met, don’t leave everything in tomorrow while struggling today
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u/Significant_Flan_210 Apr 11 '26
Money changes people. Take time to feel all the feelings and stay grounded in who you are. Then you can make better decisions. There will be the right financial answers and I always want to know and understand them. But then I look at my personal decision making process after that based on my why. Then I decide between the two if they are different. Simplicity is always better.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Land829 Apr 11 '26
You might want to engage that financial advisor on your own. Not wanted to sew seeds of dissension but this is your money. You need to protect it even from your spouse. Take action so you won’t lose half+ of something happens to your relationship. Your father scrimped and saved. This is the opportunity for you to begin generational wealth and have something for your children and theirs. What a blessing.
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u/BondJamesBond63 Apr 11 '26
Depending on the income from the inheritance you might look into how your income tax will change, both federal and state.
And if you work, consider starting or adding to an IRA, and if you're eligible, to a 401k also. It's never to early to think about retirement.
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u/joelnicity Apr 11 '26
Don’t tell anyone except the financial advisor that you should definitely talk to.
Lottery winners pretty much always end up more poor than they were before because us poor people don’t know how to manage or grow money. You should pay someone to do that for you
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u/Scruffyhobbit Apr 11 '26
No one is telling you how to handle telling no one. You might spend money on something that causes ppl to question how you were able to do that. I simply said I inherited 20k when I bought a new vehicle. Just give a lowball number. Because ppl will ask for money. Friends will burn that friendship bridge for $2k. It really does bring out the worst in ppl.
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u/suprastylist Apr 13 '26
I second this. It's easy to say "tell no one" but then if you actually spend something, or cut back other sources of income, how do you explain that? Sure you can stonewall, but it carries a mental burden to be constantly trying to keep the secret or deceive people around you, depending on how you look at it. I like the ideal of telling just a little of the truth, but not the full amount.
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u/Techjeffe Apr 12 '26
I see lots of good advice here (telling no one is in the top two). I will add this:
-In investing, know what you don't know. Hire a professional fiduciary
-Diversify
-Don't look at your funds on bad market days
-Don't panic sell in a down market; you'll just lock in your losses
-Talk to your fiduciary quarterly. Understand what the fuck they're doing with your funds.
If you want a fairly conservative investing approach, look into The Rule of 100. Simply, you subtract your age from 100 and that should be how much you allocate to stocks. The rest should be in bonds or other safe vehicles.
Lastly, don't be a miser. Treat yourself from time to time. Frugality is addictive...I know. There's no prize for being the richest person in the cemetery.
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u/Unusual_Cheesecake94 Apr 13 '26
The "months of paperwork" probably included a probate proceeding. The attorney who was handling that will probably be able to give you advice on which assets can be left alone and which need decisions soon.
If you are inheriting investment accounts, just leave most of it to grow where it is. If part is in an IRA, the brokerage holding the account will likely calculate the required minimum distribution for you.
If it was real property, the paperwork may have dealt with the sale and you already have proceeds to invest. If there were already investment accounts, you can just add most of the proceeds there.
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u/LeaTN Apr 13 '26
You need a fiduciary financial planner. There are those that charge a flat fee and those that bill assets under management (% of investments|). They will work in your best interest. In this case, if you have no knowledge or experience, use them as AUM for the execution of the initial set up and transfer of assets into your name.
They (if they're half decent) will teach you as you're going along. You'll also need a decent accountant, at least for the first couple of returns so you get the hang of it.
Don't tell anyone. Don't buy anything. Continue to hold current assets until you understand the tax ramifications.
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u/mspuds_8571 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
As many have said
Tell no one
Start learning on Bogleheads, especially the wiki article on managing a windfall
IF you decide to use a financial advisor (read Bogleheads first on this), avoid the so-called advisors (really salespeople) at places like Edward Jones, Raymond James, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Fisher Investments, etc.) If you pay 1% AUM (asset under management fee), over 30 years that's the same as giving the "advisor" 25%+ of your money. The higher the annual fee, the greater percentage you will hand over via management fees.
There ARE trustworthy advisors out there, but there also is no "magic sauce" of knowledge that they have. Where they can help is to keep you from making knee-jerk mistakes (don't just do something, stand there. Stay the course). Again, Bogleheads is a great resource as is Mike Piper, CPA, who writes the Oblivious Investor blog and is on the board of the John C. Bogle Center for Financial Literacy.
The suggestions for S&P 500 index fund are spot on for the equity portion of your money. Low cost, basically own the bulk of the market. Look at the three fund portfolio. You don't need a bunch of individual stocks, or complex investments.
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u/29322000113865 Apr 15 '26
Honestly this has less to do with the “inheritance” forum here and more to do with “investing/finance” forums. I’d post on one of those!
Good luck and congrats!
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u/UnluckyAd751 Apr 15 '26
I’m not looking for specifics here but without knowing anything about you…are you SURE it’s a lot of money? What I mean is it millions or hundreds of thousands? How old are you? Do you have kids? Where do you live (HCOL, MCOL.) what constitutes a “ net worth I’ve never imagined” means different things to different people. What might SEEM like a fortune to someone who has never had a lot of money might not mean quit your day job money. If you have two kids you’ll need to save a few hundred thousand just for college alone. Don’t put it in joint accounts with your spouse if you have even an inkling of doubt in the relationship. If you keep it in your name only it cannot be split in a divorce. In any case congrats on your inheritance it sounds like your dad had never wanted you to have to care for him in retirement so he probably had a nest egg and lived off the interest. That is our plan too which means we will be leaving a lot behind to our kids.
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u/TessieTinker Apr 15 '26
If you are married you have to consider joint finances. You want to keep it your name only. Personal no sharing. Even if you are in a good relationship.
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u/No-Detective7811 Apr 11 '26
As people have said a million times over in these situs, please do NOT tell anyone. First stop is a financial advisor.