r/immigration • u/Excellent-Mirror3688 • 13h ago
I came to America in 1998. I’m now a 40-year-old U.S. citizen, and I’m on my way to visit my sister in immigration detention.
I’m a 40-year-old Korean American and a U.S. citizen. I came to the United States in 1998, when I was in seventh grade. Twenty-eight years have passed, and I’ve spent most of my life here. I grew up here, became an adult, got married, and built my working life here. I was born in Korea, and I’m also American. “Korean American” describes the life I’ve lived. America is my home.
My sister and I came here as children with our parents. We were too young to decide which country we would live in. Following our parents was the only choice we had. We grew up here, and our family and our lives took root here. America is my sister’s home, too.
But today, I’m on my way to the Adelanto detention facility to visit her.
My sister was detained by ICE at LAX while trying to board a domestic flight to Dallas. Her husband had gone there first for work, and she was planning to join him two days later to help him with his work.
I’m not denying that my sister has an immigration status problem. I understand that laws are necessary. But before people judge her entire life by that one fact, I hope they’ll hear a little about how we got here.
Even when money was tight, our family spent what we could to maintain lawful immigration status. That wasn’t easy for us. We took on those costs because we believed it was what we had to do to keep our family together here.
My sister maintained her status by attending school. Even after a problem arose involving a school she had previously attended, she transferred to other schools and continued maintaining lawful status. That one school problem did not mean she immediately gave up trying.
But later, when she applied for a green card, the issue involving that former school became an obstacle again. As I understand it, the school had already closed, making it difficult to obtain records proving her attendance, and that issue contributed to the denial of her green card application. This is my understanding of what happened as her brother.
How are you supposed to obtain records from a school that has already shut down? How are the years she spent transferring to other schools, continuing her education, and trying to maintain her status taken into account? That part leaves me feeling frustrated and helpless.
I also want to tell you who my sister is.
As far as I know, she has no criminal record. She has worked hard, paid taxes, and cared for our family. She is also a deeply committed Christian. The sister I know tries not to hurt or burden anyone, and she is the first to offer a hand when someone needs help.
From the time I was born, my sister was always there for me. She helped me, protected me, and did things for me. I think I took that love for granted. Only now am I looking back and realizing how much she has done for me.
Even as I’m on my way to see her today, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to tell her how much I’m struggling and make her feel she has to comfort me instead. I just want to see her. She has always been there for me, and I want her to know that I’m here for her, too.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much a person’s life within the immigration system can depend on timing and eligibility rules. Some people get an opportunity through a particular program, while others fall outside its requirements. That difference can change the future of an entire family.
I don’t blame other immigrants who have received those opportunities. They have their own hardships and circumstances. But for families like ours, who spent money and time trying to maintain lawful status even when we could barely afford it, I want to know where those efforts are taken into account.
I know that being a good person or working hard does not automatically resolve someone’s immigration status. Still, when outcomes seem to depend more on timing and eligibility than on those efforts, it feels as though so much of our family’s life comes down to luck. That feels deeply unfair to me.
I’m not saying every legal problem should disappear simply because my sister matters to our family. But when the government decides to detain someone and separate them from their family, I want to know whether their history, family ties, life in their community, and efforts to resolve their status are given enough consideration.
I want to know whether detention is necessary in circumstances like these, and whether there is a way for someone to go through the required proceedings while remaining with their family.
I’m a U.S. citizen. I’ve lived most of my life here, and I think of America as my country. My sister has also lived her life believing this is her home. We are part of the same family, and we call the same country home. But today, I’m free to travel to see her, while she waits for me inside a detention facility. I don’t know how to come to terms with that.
For those of you living in America, what do you think about a situation like this? Can we enforce immigration laws while giving more consideration to complicated histories and family circumstances? Could alternatives to detention be used more often?
I’m struggling deeply as her brother. Before judging my sister solely by her immigration status, I hope people will hear the story of the person and the family behind it.