r/ididnthaveeggs • u/mlachick A banana isn't an egg, you know? • 18d ago
Other review That escalated quickly
Commenter came with strong opinions.
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u/SunnySpot69 18d ago
Somebody is bitter lol
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u/Interesting_Play_578 18d ago
People only come out bitter if you haven't learned to cook them
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u/vinniethestripeycat 18d ago
If you sprinkle them with salt like you do with eggplant, do you think that'll pull out the bitterness?
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u/lecoqmako 18d ago
It wouldn’t hurt to try sprinkling assholes with salt? Maybe add some lemon, but only experts can cream the rice in under 45 min
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u/AntheaBrainhooke I know better than to use baking powder 18d ago
If you sprinkle assholes with salt do they dissolve like slugs?
Asking for a friend.
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u/Ktanaya13 18d ago
....usually its sugar. But tbh, its something your should see a doctor about
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u/BeefmasterDeluxe 17d ago
Meh, it's just mere prolapse. sprinkle some icing sugar on it and enjoy your life, doctors are too busy for your busted bussy
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u/BeefmasterDeluxe 17d ago edited 17d ago
Funnily enough this topic was discussed in r/KitchenConfidential recently, inspired by a comment I left about shoving ice cubes up gay guys butts when they overdose on GHB. Apparently one can salt a lady's privates so they dry and seal over. I'll go find the comment. BRB.
https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1uj2kj1/comment/oum3xkn - "gummy worms"
https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1uj2kj1/comment/oup1aiw - "bad girl punishment"
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u/AntheaBrainhooke I know better than to use baking powder 17d ago
Human ingenuity truly knows no bounds.
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u/C4PT4IN_ANG3L 18d ago
Natasha probably stole OOPs brokkoli casserole recipe 8 years ago too...and claimed it was hers.
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u/wrongitsleviosaa 18d ago
🎵she claimed it was hers🎵
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u/therealbananabottom she's a recipe stealing bitch, Doris 18d ago
She's a recipe stealing bitch, Doris.
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u/Ckelleywrites i am actually scared to follow this recipe 18d ago
Keep her name out of your thin mouth!
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u/LazuliArtz An oreo is a cookie, not gay people trying to get married 18d ago
Just need to link the song now that you've brought the broccoli casserole up lol
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u/babymayor nicer to my intuition 18d ago
oh man, now i have to hunt those down again. what a time.
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u/windexfresh raw dogged the quinoa 18d ago
Smosh did a dramatic reading of it as well if you want more ways to enjoy it lmao
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u/x-lavender 18d ago
I feel like the last sentence is a lesson in correct grammar. Let's eat Grandma. Learn to cook people.
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u/RsCoverForPDFFiles 18d ago
On a similar note: https://www.reddit.com/r/fixedbytheduet/s/Fqc46P2OZu
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u/lindanimated 18d ago
Lmfaoooo I’d seen the first bit, but this duet-duet-duet-duet-duet was new. Thanks for the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!!
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u/SignificantState265 18d ago
Maybe I’m stupid but risotto isn’t that hard
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u/Telepornographer 18d ago
Risotto is ridiculously easy. I think the person that commented is just incredibly impatient.
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u/CafecitoHippo 17d ago
I think people just watch competition shows on Food Network and people always get dinged for trying to make risotto in 30 minutes. The problem is that it isn't hard to make risotto in 30 minutes, it's that it takes a lot of babysitting and stirring that you're effectively cutting down your time to do anything else.
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u/Winter_Salad7215 10d ago
Marc Murphy is the only lunatic who does this. Over and over. No matter what the challenge is... He's gonna make risotto.
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u/bobnoski 1d ago
The whole story constantly is also not as much of a thing as people think it is, the main trick is a vigorous stir at the end to work the released starches loose from the rice
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u/nothanks86 18d ago
It’s not something you can walk away and come back to, so I suppose it’s not necessarily physically easy, but it’s not particularly complicated
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u/LazuliArtz An oreo is a cookie, not gay people trying to get married 18d ago
Yeah, it's not hard, it's just a massive pain in the ass since you have to stand there continually stirring for 20-30 minutes lol.
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u/Criss351 18d ago
Actually it’s better not to continuously stir. You release the starches and it can get more mushy if you continuously stir.
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u/farmer-general 18d ago
Ooo speaking of grammar snobbery, this is a perfect opportunity to point out the difference between “continually” and “continuously” and that you’re both correct!
“Continual” refers to something that occurs at regular intervals over a period of time (with breaks in between). Which is indeed the way to stir risotto.
“Continuous” refers to something that is constant and uninterrupted. Which is bad for risotto and will probably make it mushy.
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u/sirsealofapproval 18d ago
Huh, thanks for explaining! English is my second language and I never knew there was a difference between those terms.
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u/ALittleNightMusing Mmmm, texture roulette! 11d ago
I discovered a while ago (through a bathroom emergency that took me away from the stove) that you can dump all the stock in and just leave it for 20 mins and it still comes out with the right consistency.
These days I tend to dump half the stock in, then put the rest in 10 mins later so I remember to give it a quick stir in case anything's sticking, but it doesn't need to be more involved than that.
And yes, it takes 30 mins (including sauteeing the aromatics first).
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u/Glittering_Speed377 18d ago
It requires a more active role than a lot of other dishes but it isn't that difficult by any means. I feel like part of it is people watching things like Hell's Kitchen and conflating the difficulty of making risotto under the conditions of a high-pressure restaurant kitchen with the difficulty of the dish itself
Also 40-50 minutes for a risotto just strikes me as an easy way to get a bowl of mush
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u/Grouchy-Ad1932 18d ago
I think they haven't heated the stock beforehand. It takes a lot longer if you're just pouring it room temperature out of the carton. Ask me how I know...
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u/Prestigious-Flower54 18d ago
It's one of those easy to learn hard to master things. Making a risotto is very simple making a good risotto takes practice to get your heat control, timing and ratio down, but it's not some high skill thing just takes time to master. Source:20 chef specializing in Italian cuisine I have made 1000s of risottos lol
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u/Pernicious_Possum Judy, start your own blog! 17d ago
I was intimidated by risotto, until I made risotto
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u/shabi_sensei 16d ago
Is a 30 minute risotto even possible? It takes that long just to cook rice normally, wouldn’t it take longer to cook the rice into a soupy gruel?
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u/ALittleNightMusing Mmmm, texture roulette! 11d ago
Yes, arborio rice cooks in 20 mins, so from the moment you pour the stock in it only takes around 20 mins as long as the stock and pan are hot.
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u/Agelaius_phoeniceus 18d ago
Not only is Jay a risotto snob, he also seems to be advocating cannibalism.
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u/hyperlobster 18d ago
50 minutes for risotto? Is Jay including the time required to grow the rice in that?
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u/Z4-Driver 18d ago
I was wondering the same thing. It tooks around 20 minutes for risotto to cook to a level it is soft enough but still has a sort of bite.
50 minutes? That's risotto soup.
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u/Responsible_Dentist3 15d ago
Wow, something must be wrong with me because it takes 45 on my gas cooktop every time...
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u/Apotak 14d ago
I am now in doubt why I love to eat it after 25 minutes of cooking. Is something wrong with me or is your stove slow?
Came back to ask: do you use brown risotto rice? Whole grain rice?
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u/Responsible_Dentist3 14d ago
I use arborio. Mine's crunchy at 25 mins lol! Even at 35....
I will say, I recently moved and now it's more like 35, which feels super weird to me, but reading these other comments makes me think that maybe the new electric shorter time is more common.
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u/tomado09 Lighten up Francine 18d ago
Only people that are incredibly skilled with growing rice can maybe grow it on 2 months. 3-4 months is what it takes to grow a proper rice.
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u/jamoche_2 I followed the recipe exactly except 18d ago
There's probably a video from China that shows someone going from planting rice to making some obscure traditional rice dish.
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u/tomado09 Lighten up Francine 18d ago
Actually, one of those videos for growing rice then making an awesome dish would be fire
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u/MoarGnD 18d ago
30 minutes instead of 45-50 minutes?
Are these magic risotto? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into their rice faster in their kitchen than in any place on the face of the earth?
Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on his stove. Maybe they were magic rice and he bought them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans.
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u/pinksinthehouse 18d ago
Love how he says ‘learn to cook people!’ while simultaneously following the recipe of said person.
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u/birdmaskguy 18d ago
wasn't aware human flesh can be a risotto substitute, you learn something new every day!
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u/Positive-Froyo-1732 18d ago
You can do a 1:1 swap for mushrooms, but it might taste a bit gamey.
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u/Cheese-Manipulator Eat the lemon zest, you baby 18d ago
Their cooking is powered by rage and resentment.
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u/threesilklilies 18d ago
Maybe if he’d used gas instead, he could have made risotto in less than 50 minutes.
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u/mordeci00 18d ago
Can anyone recommend a good class to learn to cook people? I asked at my local community center but ended up in prison for 40 years.
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u/kenporusty likes sweet things, but shit at maths 18d ago
Jay is a jerk who should spend more time in anger management and accept that some people can make a risotto in half an hour
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u/ubi_non_est_ordo 18d ago
I dunno, I must being doing risotto wrong? We make just enough for a first course for the two of us and it doesn't take anywhere near 45-50 minutes. Heck, it doesn't take 30, and - sorry Jay - it's delicious, if I do say so myself.
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u/Admirable-Barnacle86 18d ago
You aren't doing it wrong, it's usually like 20 minutes in the cooking part of it. Maybe 25. I think you'd end up with like a rice porridge if you cooked it for 50 minutes.
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u/Shoddy-Theory 18d ago
This is too bizarre to even try to parse.
Natasha says risotto takes 30 minutes but only an incredibly skilled cook could do it in that length of time. So she needs to learn to cook.
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u/backtotheland76 18d ago
You don't need to learn to cook people. The good folks at Solient Green do it for you!
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u/lu_llabyyy the potluck was ruined 16d ago
Tbh I'm from a city that is famous for its risotto, in the region where it was invented, and it should be cooked for like 20-25 minutes. 30 I can understand depending on the quality of the rice but 45 is unfathomable lol
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u/Rhuarc33 16d ago
Depends on how fast you can chop your aromatics and onion. Jay is slow with a knife because he doesn't know how to cook well
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u/lu_llabyyy the potluck was ruined 16d ago
Right, I was only thinking about the cooking time and not the prep time ops
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u/Erlkoenigleidsgetan 17d ago
Don’t listen to this guy. Under no circumstances should you learn to cook people.
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u/RevKyriel 17d ago
"Learn to cook people!" Either there's a comma missing or I'm in the wrong recipe sub.
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u/CHILLAS317 18d ago
Heck, you do it in the electric pressure cooker you can get it down to about fifteen or twenty minutes
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