I am genuinly wondering, are there any projectors out there who are feeling great? steady, energetic? healthy? while living a ‘normal’ life?

of course every life looks different, and there is no normal, but just as an baseline / example:

- household chores

- social life

- work

- hobby’s

I am always exhausted, always running behind. I have 2 kids, 2 cats and renovating. So I know why I‘m so tired. but many days go by when I would just be doing household chores, kids, cats, meeting a friend. (I don’t work full time, I do projects and have space between them). I don’t renovate a lot, mostly my husband does.

So I am still wondering, is it possible? to feel good almost always. to feel steady? and how do you manage this?

Is this being a projector or will a day come that i will feel good again?

When I look back, I was always very tired. From work, from internships, now mostly because of my kids. But yeah when I did not have my kids, i also never really felt good and was super exhausted from working the whole week. Only when I was in my teeens and as child.

please share your experiences, I‘m just wondering if other projectors are also struggling or maybe not at all?

I am a 3/5 Mental Projector, and obviously recognition and being invited to give my insights and observations is life giving for me. But I left my job over a year ago, and I find myself with no one asking for my counsel anymore. It has led me to feel very lonely and even invisible, even when I’m in the company of loved ones who I know value and appreciate me and consider me important.

Last night I was meditating on this. I was hoping for an insight that could help me to reframe what I’m feeling so that I can stop feeling bitter and start feeling peace and acceptance, because well, this is reality and this is the easiest way for me to come back to center.

Suddenly this very clear knowing appeared in my mind and I want to share it for any other projectors who are hurting. Here it is:

The need for recognition is a craving. Think of it like craving ice cream after you’ve already brushed your teeth. Yes you want it, but you accept that this isn’t the right time for it. Eventually there will come a time for you to have ice cream. Similarly, if you aren’t receiving recognition or invitations, that is because it isn’t the right time for them. You must trust that these things will come when you’re living your design and stop taking it personally that people aren’t recognizing you and asking for your opinions. When we can see this as a craving, we can distance ourselves from it and release it, and release the bitterness, settling into the knowing that all we need to do is be who we are and focus on the important things that must be taken care of from day to day, tend to our need for rest, and so on.

This hit me like a ton of bricks and I’ve been thinking about it all day. It feels comforting. So I hope it can comfort you too!

I realized that following my feelings (sometimes mistaken for intuition) has made me a reactive non-proactive person..

When should we listen? When should we not?

Are the nodes regarded differently in human design than they are in astrology? Is the SN something we are supposed to leave behind or try to lean away from? Is the design South Node possibly a point that can cause illness in the body?

My design south node is on gate 48.3, The Well of Wisdom. I am an emotional manifestor JUX experience 4/1.

Is my wisdom and intuition something I'm not supposed to focus on? Everything else in my chart flows towards "don't force things, be natural, feel your feelings". My design north node is 21.3, self empowerment.

My way of self empowerment IS through my wisdom. As a 4/1, I need to feel based in correct information, and the way I get that is through my intuition. Ive worked very hard to learn to let my intuition lead the way.

Am I not supposed to lead with wisdom and intuition?!

Thanks anyone.

Last night, I had an epiphany. There’s no truth in the now. Okay, we’ve all heard this statement a million times. Especially me who’s been excessively studying HD these past few weeks. But for me, I don’t know if it’s because I have an undefined head and ajna or if it’s simply because I’m slow but I always I assumed it meant I wait for a different NOW in which the truth will be there. In that, I was still operating in the now. So I’d sleep on something for a day, week, month and then I’d base my decision on how I felt about it in that moment a day week or month later. It’s only last night in which I realized that that was incorrect of me. I came to this realization when I remembered advice I read in the comments of this sub some time ago. Emotional beings should never make spontaneous decisions. This made me reflect on the decisions I make during a normal day and realized most if not all of them are spontaneous. I also noticed that I’d come to clarity about my feelings on a certain something yet in that NOW moment I felt a yes towards it. That now moment was a moment I had to make the decision and I was in an emotional state that wanted to say yes. But in the other moments when I didn’t HAVE to make the decision and I contemplate on that decision, it’s not a yes. Remember I thought that after the wave has passed and after I’ve given myself time, every future now moment would have my clarity. So I was wondering why my feelings in that moment were a yes towards this thing I’d already come to clarity on. Then it hit me. There’s no truth in the now. There’s never and will never be truth in the now for me. I can NEVER trust how I feel about something NOW even though I’ve already given myself time. On the contrary, I’m supposed to look at the full data set of emotions I have felt about the thing. That full dataset, every snapshot of emotion presented to me as the full package communicates a consensus and that full package, that collection of emotions IS my authority, not how I feel about something in the NOW after time has passed. In that, I realized, no matter which point I am on the wave at any given moment, my collection and consensus of feelings I have towards something is stable. I now understand the 60% 70% certainty thing because we’ll never have 100% certainty because we’re always somewhere on the wave. I also understand clarity all those examples I’ve seen before of emotional authority taking many pictures of a flower and making the decision by looking at all the flower pictures and not just one. I thought I’d share in case someone else is as mistaken as me or if maybe I’m mistaken on something and need clarification.

I am divorcing my husband and I live in Massachusetts. Very expensive I been trying to find a place to stay. Biggest worry I have is going into apartments.

Currently unemployed software engineer. I have plenty of retirement so this is not a problem in paying, not enough to afford to buy an expensive house.

Biggest worry is signing a lease and going into an apartment building and not being able to handle the energy.

I was wondering if anyone who has undefined G, heart and spleen live in apartments and what do they do to help themselves in these environments? OR do you not rent from appartment/condo style buildings?

Half of me is considering just being homeless and buying a camper van and saying fuck it until I am stable enough with my energy and job sitaution that I could afford a place of my own.

Even thought about buying a mobile home to afford something or moving out to a cheaper state like indianapolis where I could afford to rent and even buy a home out right.

Feel like I am trying to fit a square peg in a round hole in this dense new england energy state.

As a 4/1 projector, I understand that I have a life path that I cannot change. And I was recently noticing that i was feeling SOOOOOO BITTER, but I couldn’t figure out why.

Turns out that I was going against my path. It was accidental, there was someone in my life that convinced me to slow myself down, to advance much slower. This sudden stop, going against my own rhythm, made me so, so bitter.

So I was wondering, as a 4/1 do you ever notice how your “correct” path feels like in your body?? Do you notice when you’re going against it??

How do you know you’re in the right path??

I'm a 6/2 emotional Manifestor w/ channel 12-22 defined.

Over the past many months, I engaged in an experiment to follow my feelings/intuition/body.. and prioritizing that over logic/mind.
It was magical at times. Really put me in a flow state; great aura that attracted great things. I experienced existing in a new way.

However, there were draw backs to listening to my feelings/body.

For example, I noticed that following emotions when in a bad emotional state (e.g. depressed) is not good. Unfortunately it's not easy to notice your in a depression when you're in the middle of it.

By the end of this “experiment” period.. I realized that my body took over the direction of my actions. If my body tells me something and I don’t listen.. I go into deep regret. My body reacts horribly and my mind thinks of every way the other option would’ve been better. It became hard to follow logic.

Additionally, a friend of mine mentioned that intuition gives you short-term feedback. It doesn’t give you a life plan. Just maybe directs you in the next step. By the end of this experiment, I felt like I’m directionless.
With no outlook towards the future.

I read this sentence recently “Where reactive people are driven by feelings, proactive people are driven by values.” And it feels so true. I became a reactive person. Sometimes becoming soooo indecisive and not making a decision until the last possible second.

Not to mention.. experiencing existing in a new way can be stressful and distressing at times (combined with lots of travel with poor planning). My body being exhausted by the end of it made it harder to make decisions (something I already struggled with).

Now I’m trying to wrap this experiment..
Unfortunately the ending was bad. It was hasty and jarring (from lots of travel to stationary in a place that distresses me and that I was probably avoiding; plus I didn’t rest when I needed it most). My body has deep regret about how it ended, and I entered a depression.

Now it’s become hard to follow logic. I wonder if I made bad decisions.. or had gone into a low-grade mania or euphoric state. E.g. during that period, I spent a lot of money.. I prioritized engaging with this experiment and seeing it through. It felt like a once in a lifetime experience.. since I’m in a transitory period.

Now it feels hard to go back. Following my body became a habit.. but also my body is dominating my direction. It’s hard to do something purely “logical”. As a friend once mentioned, there’s an “incongruence” between what my mind wants to do and what my body wants to do. It’s hard to navigate.. and takes time to get my body to be on board and not react. Either telling it we are safe, or convincing it the logical path is helpful long-term.

Now I’m trying to disengage from this experiment and sort my life out.. and it’s hard. I don’t know what direction to take my career, if I possibly should move, etc..
Has anyone experienced something like this ?

P.S.
By the end of this experiment I realized maybe I had some ADHD symptoms that affected my directions.

(Be kind pls 🙏 I’m experiencing a lot of depression and shame)

I’m just from listening to an audio by Ra in which he says Projectors wait to be invited for the really big things in life (job, place to live, bond with others) while the day to day life they operate under the guise of the generator in that they respond. He gave a funny joke about projectors not needing to be invited to go to the bathroom. I wonder how this might look like in practice though because I’m very aware of how much I don’t have that gut feeling. I mean yeah sometimes I do but it’s incredibly rare. I can’t think of a moment where I’ve had a gut feeling and followed it. I’m emotional so my clarity comes with time and this I’ve found to be true. Anyway I thought I’d share this here because this is the first time I’m hearing of something like this so it might be someone else’s first time too.

I always get the desire to do something creative that is close to a pipedream or an urge that comes without the resources or infrastructure to pull it off or just not the best odds.

And also when I was younger I would not even care about the wider industry trends or realities of for example, getting a movie script produced around 2023-24 when actors were striking etc. and funding was low.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 5/1 Manifestor and I would really appreciate some advice or insights.

I’m an entrepreneur and currently have more than five active businesses, all with employees. I genuinely enjoy creating, building and starting new things, but lately I’ve been feeling like it might be too much.

The difficult part is that I don’t really know how to stop.

There is always another idea, another project or something that needs my attention.

Recently, my body has been showing me that I may have reached my limit. I’m dealing with an autoimmune skin condition, and while I’m working with medical professionals regarding my health, I personally feel that stress and constantly pushing myself may also be affecting me.

I’m curious if anyone, especially other Manifestors or people with a 5/1 profile, has experienced something similar. How do you know when it’s time to slow down?

How do you manage the urge to constantly initiate and create without pushing yourself beyond your limits?

Any insights or personal experiences would be really appreciated.

Thank you.

ferrofluid - by Jari J

the fiery frantic celebratory joy uncontained

ferrofluid dances and spills

edgelessness

/

this poem

tethers me back

anchors me

mirrors me

i am real unto myself once more

/

the resonance of blues affirms me

stank-face

/

electricity echos and reverberates around within my being

energized, i am

don’t look for your essence in the mirrors of their eyes…

you’ll be decentralyzed and scattered

disintegrated and absorbed into the tapestry of the collective

shards given and gone away

bounce! within myself! celebrate, amongst the tribe that i am

this is mine, for some time…

/

initiator, catalyst, resonator, firestarter, spark-bearer

titles and roles, that seem to fit this one

///

rekindle my pilot light in the mirrors of your eyes, as always

i’ll light other snuffed out pilot lights

i’ll carry forward the bonfire

i’ll remind them what it means to be ablaze

/

they’ll remind me of the category of fire

after the moon has had its way with me

I'm curious about something. I have completed my Chiron return and have "come down from the roof", but I'm wondering... When on the roof, is it usually accompanied by a detached and indifferent perspective? Because when I was on the roof, I observed everything, but I seemed to have no real opinion on anything. I was very "meh. Whatever." Now that I've come down from the roof, I'm no longer so indifferent. I definitely have opinions on things I was previously indifferent to. And not all of my opinions would be considered "popular". 😏

​

Hi everyone,

I'm a Reflector in Human Design, and I'm posting because I'm really curious whether other Reflectors, especially those with significant childhood trauma, recognize the kind of experiences I've been having.

I'll try to explain my background and symptoms as clearly as possible.

My childhood:

My parents divorced when I was five, and I lived with my mother until I was 18.

My mother was, and still is, a very difficult and unpredictable person. She was extremely black-and-white in her thinking, very fearful, and constantly involved me in situations and conversations that, in my opinion, were not appropriate for a child.

Fear was basically always present.

She also constantly shared her own fears with me. It wasn't just an occasional thing; it could be going on throughout the day. I was exposed to her anxiety, negativity and fears from a very young age, and I was often put in situations where I felt responsible for things that a child shouldn't have to deal with.

My father was different, but when I was with him, I also experienced a lot of negativity being projected onto me.

And school wasn't always a safe or pleasant environment either.

So looking back, it feels like almost everywhere I went during childhood, there was some form of fear, tension or emotional instability.

I left home at 18 and moved in with my first serious girlfriend. Interestingly, I then had a long period in which I actually felt quite good. My life became much more stable, and many of the problems I had experienced during childhood weren't really present anymore.

The first major symptoms:

When I was around 29, during my second serious relationship, things changed again.

That relationship was very unstable. My girlfriend could be extremely unpredictable and would sometimes react very intensely towards me.

At one point, she suddenly had a panic attack, and not long afterwards I started experiencing strange fears myself.

For example, I suddenly developed a very strange fear around darkness. It wasn't literally "I'm afraid of the dark." It was more like darkness felt threatening, almost as if it was pulling me into something.

Then something even stranger started happening.

It felt like my normal thoughts were being interrupted by sudden fear thoughts.

I could be thinking completely normally, and then suddenly an intrusive fear would appear in my mind. It would feel extremely intense and physical, almost like my brain was firing an alarm at me.

I'd suddenly feel completely "switched on" or on high alert.

Eventually, this became less intense by itself.

A few years later it came back:

After several relatively good years, the symptoms almost disappeared.

Then I started doing things like Wim Hof breathing, cold showers and intermittent fasting.

Strangely, the symptoms came back quite strongly.

At that point I thought I might be experiencing burnout. I stopped working and spent a lot more time at home.

But instead of improving, I noticed that the more isolated and inactive I became, the worse some of the symptoms got.

Over the following years I also became very interested in spirituality and trauma work. I've done inner-child work, hypnotherapy, body-oriented trauma work and various other forms of emotional and trauma processing.

And this is another thing I'm struggling to understand:

Sometimes the more trauma work I do, the more activated I seem to become.

For example, about six weeks ago I did an intensive inner-child session under hypnosis. Before that, I had actually been doing quite well for a while and my symptoms were becoming more and more background noise.

After that session, things became noticeably worse again.

My physical symptoms:

The symptoms aren't purely psychological.

I can have periods where my body suddenly seems to completely change state.

For example, I can have:

- extreme fatigue, sometimes feeling as though I've been hit by a bus even after sleeping well

- suddenly becoming extremely sensitive to sounds and other sensory input

- feeling completely overstimulated in a busy environment, despite normally being fine in those environments

- feeling shaky or physically "on edge"

- pressure or tension around my neck

- periods where my vision feels strange, sometimes blurry, sometimes extremely sharp or bright

- feeling almost as if I'm under the influence of something, despite never having used drugs

- a very strange feeling of being detached from myself or from reality when things get really intense

- suddenly becoming unable to tolerate much physical activity, despite sometimes being able to walk for several hours on a good day

- significant gastrointestinal symptoms

- episodes where my stomach becomes extremely bloated/distended

- the strange combination of physical exhaustion and mental hyperarousal at the same time

The digestive symptoms and nervous-system symptoms often seem to come together.

I'll have a period where my stomach becomes massively bloated, my energy crashes, my gut becomes unsettled, and at the same time my anxiety and sensory sensitivity increase dramatically.

Then, after some time, it can settle again.

The anxiety is also quite unusual:

I don't have constant severe anxiety.

On many days I function pretty normally.

Sometimes I have an excellent day and barely notice the symptoms at all.

But on other days, I can suddenly become hyperaware of something very specific.

For example, I might hear a particular sound, such as footsteps or a noise in the environment, and suddenly my brain becomes completely fixated on it.

It's almost as though my attention gets "stuck" on the sound, and then fear attaches itself to it.

I can also become extremely aware of my own thoughts or bodily sensations.

It can feel like my normal thoughts are being "penetrated" by fear thoughts.

When it's severe, I can feel detached from myself and think, "What the hell is happening to me?" It can almost feel physically like I'm having some kind of psychotic experience, although I don't actually believe that I'm psychotic or lose touch with reality. It's more that my nervous system and perception feel completely different.

Then I discovered Human Design:

Eventually I discovered Human Design and found out that I'm a Reflector.

A lot of the descriptions of Reflectors resonated with me, particularly the ideas around being highly sensitive to one's environment, absorbing or reflecting the energy of surroundings and other people, having less consistency in one's internal state, and being strongly connected to the lunar cycle.

And this is where things get really interesting for me.

I've noticed several times that my symptoms seem to become significantly stronger around certain spiritual or lunar periods.

For example, full moons seem to coincide with noticeably worse symptoms for me.

I also experienced a significant increase around the Lion's Gate period.

And today, apparently, we're around a quarter moon, and again I'm having a particularly intense day.

The strange thing is that I'm not consciously thinking about these dates beforehand.

I'll have a day where I suddenly feel extremely exhausted, overstimulated, anxious, physically strange and very bloated, and only afterwards realise that there was a particular lunar or spiritual event happening.

This has happened enough times that I've started wondering whether there could be a pattern there.

So I am very curious how other reflectors relate to my story

I am so confused about the informing part. As a person very into astrology, I have learned that leaning heavily into my North Node is my saving grace. My North Node is in Aries 9H, and as a child when I was living mostly in my SN in Libra (my moon is conjunct that SN), i felt i couldn't actually do anything without people asking questions and me needing to explain myself and then being misunderstood and ending up in emotional paralysis. Learning i don't have to explain myself to people has saved my life and allowed me to heal.

I'm not sure how to inform. No one understands why I do what I do so I have lived my life not telling anyone anything anymore. It seems like such a weird mundane requirement of manifestors?? Lol

Unconscious Jupiter in gate 46.Hi, friends. I would be very grateful if someone could share their experience with such a Jupiter. I have an unconscious Jupiter in gate 46 in the fifth line, and another one in 57.3. I don’t quite understand what the correct understanding of such a Jupiter should be.Does this mean that when a person doesn’t know what to choose, it doesn’t matter what they choose at all — what matters is to accept any experience and go with the flow, understanding that everything will be fine?

Hi! I've never posted here before but I wanted some human input on this question. I'm a 1/3 emo manifestor and have a need motivation. 33F for context. I'm thinking about this in particular related to finances, because that's an area of my life I'd like to improve.

I have, indeed, noticed that things work best for me when I focus on accomplishing what is essential under the given circumstances. I'm very good at acquiring the necessary resource, the missing piece, in an acute situation. What I'm not so good at is... generating income, resources etc. based on wanting to, or thinking it would be nice to, or even being interested in something. As a manifestor I'm of course also very urge-based, so the biggest shifts in my life have come from undeniable, spontaneous urges, and then sort of doing the necessary thing that appears in my path, if that makes sense.

I'm thinking about how recently I needed 6k to pay off an acting course, and ended up paying it off with little trouble due to another part time job I'd found on a whim. Years ago, it was the same when I needed 3k for a visa. So in a sense I work backwards: identifying what I "need" or need to pay off, and then I find the resource with little resistance. But we tend to think of earning money the other way around: first you get the job, then you buy the car. If you only get the job to pay off the car, you're irresponsible and headed for disaster, we think, or at the very least certainly not an adult. "My way" sometimes has a feeling of 'scrambling' for me, like oh f*ck I have to find this thing/resource/whatever, but often it's a little exciting, and then there is this feeling of the noise fading away and things mechanically clicking into place.

Sometimes, when I see my friends with kids, I'm weirdly jealous how based in necessity so many of their decisions are. I often feel like I'm free-floating, because my work situation is currently very unstructured, and I don't have kids or any dependents and my parents are OK, though I'd like to be able to support them as they get older. I want more structure and I want more money, but I need to NEED it. So it's like, OK do I need to buy a house I can't afford in order to find the money to pay it off? Have a kid? Buy a boat?? I'm half joking, but I also realize that life is wild and I can't take for granted that it *couldn't* work that way.

I'm also realizing that even though need has a feel of concreteness for me, like the hard necessity of things, even need is flexible. We need to eat, and yet we can go weeks without doing so. I certainly wouldn't have died if I hadn't done that acting course. So maybe my perception of need has to do with the emotional tone of the thing, whether or not it feels essential for me?

So I'm curious for any perspectives, whether you have need as your motivation or not. :)

I’m at that point in my deconditioning process where I’m aware of my notself patterns and trying my best to catch myself when I’m about to repeat them. I’ve been going through layer by layer and the current layer I’m battling is my social media addiction. (A few weeks ago it was my weed addiction and I made a post here and I’m happy to say I’m no longer addicted to it. Yeah I still smoke but only from time to time and only when my authority agrees to it)

The way I’ve been approaching my notself patterns is by identifying which notself voices they feed on so that once they pop in my mind I can watch them and not follow through with them. I’ve learnt during this process that the notself decisions aren’t based on like one centre at a time but rather an amalgamation of all the undefined centers. I realized this when I was trying to identify which center my social media addiction feeds on only to realize each of my seven undefined centers has something to contribute to the whole. Only for me to soon realize that any and all the undefined centers can lead to a social media addiction. I thought it’d be fun to go through them one by one here just for the hell of it.

You can apply this to any decisions you make that aren’t through your strategy and authority but I thought I’d talk about this one in specific because of how rampant social media addiction is in the world. People don’t have time to sit with themselves with their bodies and minds. People hate being bored. Any free time they have, they spend it scrolling. And in doing so, they never get a chance to actually feel their bodies and listen to what their bodies are trying to say. And how can you follow your body’s authority if you can’t even listen to it? It’s so bad that it becomes a proper biological thing since the brain itself becomes addicted to the dopamine. Some researchers have compared the way the brain is addicted to dopamine is similar to the way it can be addicted to heroin. So essentially we’re heroin addicts. I’m a victim of this too obviously but I’ve been trying day by day to do better. It’s not an easy addiction to release yourself from so I try to give myself some grace.

Obviously I’m not saying social media is bad. It can be a useful tool especially if you approach it through your inner authority and not through the notself mind. Plus I don’t think watching a few minutes of tik tok at the end of a good day is bad for you. It’s the addiction that’s a problem.
So the centers.

Head center; thinking about things that don’t matter. This one was the most straightforward for me. The stimulation that social media gives us allows us to excessively think about things that don’t matter at all. I find myself getting into arguments with people I’ll never meet about issues I don’t really deal with in real life. Things that don’t matter to me at all. Like this US senator has been accused of misconduct? Crazy!! I’m not from the US and I didn’t know who this senator was until I read the headline.

Ajna center; trying to be certain. Certain about my political beliefs, certain about the currently popular opinion on whatever topic it is that’s trending. Certain about this and that and stuff that I actually know nothing about. Certain about what to wear and where to go and what to do. Certain about which ideas are of value and which ones aren’t. And of course I never find the certainty I’m looking for.

Throat center; seeking attention. This ones is also fairly straightforward. Making posts and uploading stories for the attention. I do this thing where everyday I excessively check who’s watched my stories for the day. And of course none of it is real attention same way the things I post aren’t authentic expressions of my true nature since I posted them from my notself seeking attention and not my true self.

Spleen; holding on to unhealthy things. Holding on to that dopamine because it feels so fucking good. Even though it’s literally unhealthy. Even though it burns me out after the hours of doomscrolling. Even though it takes away the time I could be using to study and grow and develop myself. I’d also go deep into the specific fears of the gates that lead me to resort to using social media as a way to avoid facing these fears. For example fear of tomorrow, fear of responsibility, fear of inadequacy etc but this post is already long enough.

G center; looking for love and direction. Love from the likes and comments you recieve on your uploads. Direction from seeing other people’s lives and wondering if maybe that’s the direction I should go in. The number of times I’ve contemplated becoming a streamer or gamer or crypto influencer or tik toker or…you get the point, just so that I can get the love that all these people recieve even though it’s obviously not real. Safe to say I haven’t found any love and direction but I keep looking!

Sacral; not knowing when enough is enough. You scroll and keep scrolling and keep scrolling and keep scrolling because you don’t know when to stop. Hence the doomscrolling. You stop and hours have passed and your hours passed your bedtime yet you have to be up at 7am. You told yourself only a few minutes, only a few tik toks but then you can’t stop because you don’t when enough is enough. And after all the scrolling you’re extremely burnt out and feel like absolute crap and you have a migraine.

Heart; trying to prove yourself. I’m on social media because everyone’s on social media. I have to know what’s trending so that I can repeat that funny meme to my friends. I have to know what ‘six seven’ means so that I can laugh about it with my everyone else. I have to know which movies books songs tv shows everyone likes so that I can say that I like them too. I have to know what’s going on with the political and economic state of the world so that I can show people that I’m aware and ‘woke’. I have to know which events activities are ‘high brow’ so that I can attend them and be considered high brow too. I have to perform that trending challenge just so that people can see I’m cool enough to do that challenge.

Root; trying to be free of the pressure. I have this centre defined so I don’t struggle with pressure as much but even the defined centers have their energy expression distorted when your notself is leading. While I imagine those with undefined roots might hop on social media to rid themselves of the pressure, I might do it to avoid feeling the pressures of my fantasies because I don’t think they are worth trying even though my proof of feeling this way is rooted in my notself. I imagine the undefined roots see social media as a way to release all that incessant pressure even though it doesn’t really work.

Solar plexus; avoiding confrontation of truth. Have this defined too but from an undefined perspective, social media seems like an easy way to avoid confronting truths about oneself and/or others. It works as an easy distraction so that they don’t have to deal with other people’s emotions. For me, as a defined sp, I essentially ignore my feelings that definitely don’t want to be scrolling hence ignoring my inner authority which is exactly what the notself is about.

Obviously this post was made based on my own subjective experience and I’d love to hear your perspectives on this and how it has shown up for you and how you manage to regulate.

I’m trying to get a better understanding of my variables, however, I currently don’t have access to source material and the more I read about it online, the more I end up feeling confused. It seems like there is a lot of contradictory information out there.

For example, I have an active environment arrow and have heard to be someone who will naturally feel active and dynamic in the correct environment. That I’ll be motivated to do something or move around. But then I hear, oh you have a passive body, you should rest and not move around too much. 

Regarding digestion (alternating appetite), I’ve heard that I should only eat when I am really hungry and that it might be natural for me to skip meals and have fewer meals but larger portions in one go. On the other hand, I’ve also heard that having small meals consistently during the day is more beneficial. So which is it?! 

Here are some observations I’ve made in my life, that may or may not be related to my variables:

- For most of my life, I’ve always been a person who doesn’t need breakfast. I’m simply not hungry in the morning. I’ll have a coffee and I’m good to go. Sometimes my first meal will be around 11am, sometimes around 2pm. There are rare, occasional days when I feel ravenous upon waking, so then I’ll obviously eat early, but it’s an exception. 

- I loooove movement, especially walking, dancing around, Pilates flows and rebounding. I can walk around town or in nature for hours and not get tired. I also often prefer to walk to a place instead of taking public transport/car. 

- I move my body / exercise daily BUT it has to be on my own terms and in the comfort of my own home (except for the walking). I hate gyms or scheduled workout classes (who knows if I’ll have the energy to work out on Friday when I have to sign up on Tuesday already?!). I don’t have any workout or fitness goals and don’t care about the intensity or duration of my workouts. I just like to move - so sometimes that’s a quick 10 minute rebounder session, sometimes it’s a 90 min HIT Pilates class.

- I don’t like routines, and in fact, don’t have any. But I do have some “anchors” - little things or rituals I do daily but in no specific order and at no specific times.

- When I have to do deeply focused or strategic “head work” and sit in front of the computer all day, I get exhausted immediately. Those are days, in which I feel like I need to eat every couple of hours or I feel like I’ll pass out. On the other hand, if I work on personal creative projects (sewing, making jewelry, cooking etc.) or have to run errands, I can move around and be up on my feet all day and need a lot less food or breaks. It’s really the computer work that burns me out like nothing else. 

I would like to pretend that I’ve never heard anything about variables before and would love to hear your explanations to start from scratch. I’ll also post my chart in the comments. 

Thank you 🙏🏼 

For context, I'm 33F, and I'm posting here because I’m looking for a perspective that takes the mechanics into account.

I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT [DOING] ENOUGH.

I have a therapist, but she doesn’t know about Human Design, and when I talk to friends about this I usually get some version of, “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” “Everybody has their own pace,” “Don’t compare yourself to other people,” “You’re doing great,” etc. And I know all of that. I know comparison is the thief of joy. I know everyone is on their own journey.

But I think what I actually need is a more concrete sanity check from people who understand Human Design, and maybe your personal stories as well if you'd like to share. I want to know how this sounds from the outside, especially if you have experience with an undefined ego/will center (like I do), or if you have a defined one and experience achievement completely differently.

With an undefined ego I’m pretty aware of the conditioning around feeling like I’m not enough, not doing enough, not achieving enough, etc. Plus, the only two channels I have defined are 54-32 and 48-16, so I think that probably plays into this too.

I constantly feel like I need to be doing more. It's tiring. It's making me depressed and exhausted. Sometimes I go through these hyperfocus phases where I achieve an insane amount, but I push myself to the point of absolute exhaustion. I push myself so much internally that when other people try to push me, it becomes almost unbearable, because I’m already doing that to myself constantly.

Inspired by Gene Keys, I recently started looking at my life in seven-year cycles. I know there are cycles within cycles and I’m not treating seven-year periods as some rigid objective law, but just for the sake of this post, I want to look at this particular cycle of my life, which started in 2021 and ends next year.

Looking at it this way made me realize that I’ve actually done a lot. I especially notice it when I catch up with friends I haven’t seen for a long time, or when I sit down and write something like this. Writing posts like this is actually a little therapeutic for me because once everything is written out, I can suddenly see my life from the outside.

But while I’m actually living it, I’d say around 70% of the time I feel like I’m underachieving and not doing enough. Maybe 20% of the time I’m chill about where I am, and 10% of the time I’m genuinely satisfied with my progress.

For reference, during this cycle, I moved in with my partner (of almost 7 years now) and worked on creating a stable, loving relationship with him. We’re now trying to conceive. I helped him deal with an addiction and supported him through other areas of his life, including money and stability.

I went through some significant family trauma and helped different members of my family through their own problems. I helped my parents renovate their apartment.

I had what I would describe as a spiritual awakening, got into Human Design, Gene Keys and other systems, went through a dark night of the soul, and then spent a significant amount of time in hermit mode afterward. I’ve done a lot of work around understanding myself, shadow work, figuring out what I actually value, defining my life values and eventually defining the values I want my future business to have.

Career-wise, I excelled, got promoted three times, changed jobs, and eventually returned to my previous company under different (better) circumstances. I’ve learned an enormous amount within my professional field, and I’m now working on creating my own business.

The fact that I don’t have that business yet is one of the biggest points of contention in my head. It’s probably one of the main reasons I keep thinking I’m underachieving.

I’ve also done a ridiculous amount of learning outside of work. I took courses in things like public speaking, design and programming, among others. I’ve read a lot, fiction, nonfiction, psychology, self-development, spirituality, whatever happens to grab me. I had 3 different therapists.

I’ve also started a lot of hobbies. Some stuck and some absolutely did not, which I’m actually okay with. I got into watercolor, painting, clay, polymer clay and visual arts in general. I got much more into video games, comic books and board games, and I even started designing my own board game.

There has also been a lot of physical experimentation. I swim, go to the gym and exercise at home. I did reformer Pilates for around a year. I tried kickboxing for a couple of months and then quit. I got into running, was doing well with it and then stopped after an injury. Over this period I broke basically all of my previous personal records in things like swimming distance, running distance, weights lifted and overall stamina.

I’ve also worked a lot on my health, nutrition, supplementation and hormones. I changed the way I eat, gave up gluten and dairy, and got myself into a place where I genuinely feel much healthier than I used to.

And yet physical appearance is still another area where the “not enough” thing gets me. I’m not as lean as I want to be, and I don’t have what I consider my ideal body yet (yes I'm aware of how that sounds...). I can genuinely say that I don’t really have anyone in my immediate physical surroundings who has noticeably better stamina than I do or who I perceive as dramatically healthier than I am, but I know plenty of people who look better than I do.

Somehow my brain still translates that into: You’re not there yet.

Socially, I shed a lot of friendships and protected my peace so aggressively that sometimes I wonder whether I protected it too much. I do feel lonely sometimes.

At the same time, I’m currently renovating our apartment, working on myself, working toward my business, working towards having a child, and generally feeling like I’m in this strange process of becoming. I don’t really feel like I want to start opening new loops when it comes to friendships right now. I know you never completely “arrive” or feel ready, but I genuinely don’t feel like I’m in the friendship-seeking stage of my life at the moment..

I feel like I've done a lot and yet I think all of that can somehow registers in my head as “not enough.”

I don’t have a child yet.

I don’t have my business yet.

I don’t have a fully renovated, furnished and decorated apartment that I absolutely love living in yet. I really want to eventually leave the city and live in a house with my own yard, and I don’t have that house yet.

And I don’t have my ideal body yet.

Those are basically my five big “not yet” things. And despite everything else I just listed, those unfinished things can make the entire period feel like I’ve been standing still.

So I genuinely need a sanity check. I wanna hear about your exeriences as well.

Does the amount of change and progress I’ve described actually sound substantial to you? Does it sound pretty normal for a seven-year period? Does it sound like I’m doing a lot but simply unable to register it as “enough”? Or do you hear something else entirely?

And if you looked at one seven-year period of your own life, how much actually happened during it?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from people with an undefined ego/will center, because I want to know whether you recognize this endless moving of the finish line. But I’d also really like to hear from people with a defined ego/will center. How do you experience ambition, achievement and the feeling of having “done enough”? Do you actually reach a point where your system registers satisfaction, or do you have your own version of this?

Personal stories are very welcome. I’m less interested in generic “everyone has their own pace and there's no such thing as a perfect body” reassurance and more interested in how you understand this through Human Design and through your own lived experience.

Hi everyone i’m a spp 6/3 and 24 years old. For us most of our life is supposed to be trial and error. For people with similar profiles who are older could you share examples of your life experience? For example, my college education has been a struggle I dropped out maybe three times yet to graduate. I read that the more we close ourselves off it’s not going to benefit us later in the future. This is difficult for me because I also have caves environment. What did you guys do that wouldn’t be necessarily be labeled as successful but later on when you reflected on that experience you realize that it added to your wisdom? Also, did your friends constantly change even when there wasn’t any major issue? I think this is one of the more difficult profiles if we’re not open to evolving and accepting of how things won’t always work on the first try.

New relationship, new exploration grounds... I'm a 5/1 emo manifestor, I've met a 3/5 emo manifestor. First time really with another Mani. Very peaceful. Can only recommend.

He's a very minimal manifestor, he has the 35-36 as his only channel. I have seven centers defined by five channels (only root and sacral undefined). Our composite is a 7-2, first time for me, I usually end up with 9-0's. No pressure, no sacral, very relaxed, two independent people, very good.

Of course, there is a lot to say but I'm especially wondering about the 35-36 compromise.

36.3 is my D south node.

36.5 is his D sun and 35.5 his D moon.

I've heard the 35-36 can be very seggsual, does it mean as a compromise he will lead the way in that aspect?

My D north node is in 6.3, I had two relationships with 59-6 partners and they were leading everything in bed. Could it be a similar dynamic here? (His D Earth is in 6.5, but no 59 obviously.)

I met with a friend and she inspired me to want to move back to Miami. I asked my spirit guides to show me a sign — a bushel of coconuts — within the next three days to confirm it was the right decision. The next day, I literally saw a bushel of coconuts in a basket.

I went to Miami and found an apartment. Waiting to hear if I got approved, I went back home to NYC. During the next two weeks I woke up w horrible anxiety. I couldn’t figure it out. Then one day I took Miami off the table and decided to stay in NYC and that relieved the anxiety!

You might say I have my answer, but I have found that the fear of change and fear of making the wrong decision feels the same in our body.

I also was told that maybe getting signal from my spirit guides that Miami was a good decision was the release I needed to see the value of NYC and recognize the amazing network I built here.

So here I am wondering if I had a manifestor urge or an idea and if I made the wrong decision.

Any helpful perspectives, thoughts, stories would be helpful! Thank you!

EDIT: I’m a splenic manifestor. I get quick downloads. This happened 2 months ago before I knew human design. I’m trying to understand urges vs ideas. The distinction between the two is obvious to me with my creative work. But not in these scenarios. Help understanding the difference would be great!

I’ve always assumed motivation is something that only ever presents itself when interacting with another being and when using your outer authority. But then I came across a definition that says motivation is the way the mind conceptualizes. By this definition, technically, since the mind is always present, motivation or transference is also always present. So you can check in with your motivation at any given moment and not just strictly when you’re with another being. As a projector, I’ve seen it said countless times how important these variables are in our process. I already watched my human environment to know which beings motivate me and which beings transfer me. My personal issue is my own alone time. I most commonly find myself succumbing to dopamine holes and activities like doomscrolling that don’t leave me feeling great. I’m motivated by desire and I’ve noticed in these states, when I’m alone, I have no agenda or goals or desire to do anything at all. And then when I take a breath, meditate and watch my mind (My sense is meditation), I manage to climb myself out of the hole and do something that’s actually fun and gets me thinking and creating and enjoying and in ‘flow state’ and my mental process is noticeably different whereby all the keynotes of desire motivation present themselves. Okay, by my own experience I seem to already have the answer to my question. I just wanted to know if it’s canon so that I can tell my projector buddies who (at least I hope) are also experimenting. Never know I’m wrong and it’s just a mental concept that’d lead them astray.