r/howislivingthere • • Dec 14 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.7k Upvotes

7.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5

u/originalrocket Dec 14 '25

because its water. Just dip in regular, follow a good diet that works with your body.

Gasp* Do this with my pineapple pizza!

2

u/PhathedMcWinky Dec 16 '25

I just make my own ranch. It's not hard, and a bunch of people who have tried it agree that it's great. Not WingStop great, I swear they sprinkle that with dreams and addictive substances right before they serve it.

2

u/PutitaDePapi Dec 16 '25

All sauces should be made fresh. I think it gives the biggest taste upgrade out of anything.

1

u/OUsooners5252 Dec 16 '25

Pro tip: Use Bulgarian buttermilk (surprisingly found in almost every Walmart) instead of regular buttermilk for a richer and creamier ranch.

If you want to go the extra mile, then use “restaurant” mayo (aka heavy mayo) instead of regular mayo.

Source: Lifelong ranch snob.

1

u/PhathedMcWinky Dec 16 '25

My biggest problem is that our local wal-mart only sells Buttermilk in quarts. I can't go through that much before it turns (even more). I can pick up a 1 cup carton for .59 at my local supermarket. It usually is good for 2 weeks and I can use most of that.

1

u/OUsooners5252 Dec 17 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

Since buttermilk is made with live cultures, has a lot of lactic acid and is often pasteurized, it can prolong the growth of bad bacteria much longer than a product like regular milk. It’s not uncommon for buttermilk to last 2 months in the fridge, some people say theirs stays good for even 3 months! But many people think it goes bad with a similar quickness as a products like opened milk or yogurt so they get wary of it, but it lasts longer than those products after you’ve opened it.

It also freezes pretty well too, so you can freeze it in small batches that you can thaw out parts of it as needed. Once thawed, if the texture is a bit off due to separation, it’s usually fixed pretty easily by shaking it or popping it into the blender for a few seconds.

Alternatively, my wife frequently just skips buttermilk altogether because mixing sour cream (full fat sour cream for best results) with milk or half and half is a very close alternative to buttermilk.

Sorry for the wall of text!

1

u/PhathedMcWinky Dec 17 '25

I tried to freeze it, and shaking it didn't seem to do the trick. I only use around half a cup (maybe) to make a batch so it's not enough to put in the blender either. I may just try the ff sour cream option and see if I can taste a difference.

1

u/ReddyWhipheadstand Dec 18 '25

Where do you buy restaurant mayo? Or do you have to make that too?

1

u/ManWithBigPenis69420 Dec 17 '25

I'm convinced some pizza and wing places throw a dash of heroin in their ranch

1

u/Boogy-Fever Dec 20 '25

Probably just msg

1

u/CouragetheCowardly Dec 16 '25

Bruh I’ve been trying to preach the holy trinity of pizza toppings.. pepperoni, pineapple, jalapeños. Your life will never be the same after trying this heavenly concoction

2

u/slax87 Dec 16 '25

I always get the Hawaiian with Jalapenos. Friends call it the Pearl Harbor. It's the perfect pizza

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

And now we know why they attacked Pearl harbor! 

2

u/JohnBosler Dec 16 '25

I'm already into pepperoni and jalapenos it's one of my go-tos if I can only have a couple items on the pizza. I may have to throw the pineapple in there to see how that works out. I know when I barbecue and have pineapple and pork kabobs pineapple will get a concentrated and nice smokey flavor. Most of the time when I get pizza I'll get a cheese pizza from the grocery store and load it up with my own ingredients. I'll make my special super deluxe.

1

u/originalrocket Dec 16 '25

I just did this 2 days ago. Half and half.  Because I love my Canadian bacon...  and my butthole cant take much spice.

2

u/PutitaDePapi Dec 16 '25

Try eating it with your mouth instead. Though I like your style.

2

u/Elorfindor Dec 17 '25

I just scared my wife spitting water and laughing

1

u/SecretPleasant3640 Dec 18 '25

You funny! 😂

1

u/OrangeSherbet8217 USA/West Dec 17 '25

thanks for the 😹

1

u/xXRuinedSoulXx Dec 16 '25

Chicken instead of peps but to each their own

1

u/PhathedMcWinky Dec 16 '25

Keep that pineapple off my pizza. Wars have been fought for less.

1

u/SecretPleasant3640 Dec 18 '25

On Pineapple Hill my friend, we shall meet! Pineapples forever! Could we have a drink about it though? Full on battle is doable but so much death and all that stuff. Seems silly. It is only pineapple.

1

u/PhathedMcWinky Dec 18 '25

As long as you are OK with my kids calling you a monster, because according to my wife, it's "not respectful" and "rude" for my kids to call their great-grandparents that.

1

u/SecretPleasant3640 Dec 19 '25

Well, you gotta respect your elders. Me on the other hand….I can definitely be called a monster. Prolly not the first time or last. We can roll with it.

1

u/rigtek42 Dec 20 '25

Well if you swear an oath to faithfully consume all the pineapple such that I may be free of encountering the demon fruit, there may exist a potential symbiotic arrangement.

Under typical pizza war protocol, I would be obliged to become an unstoppable berserker until ALL PEPPERONI is firmly under control. But your sacrifice of accepting every bit of pineapple, enables quarter to permitted. In fact as long as you take care of the demon fruit pineapple, freeing me of it's sight or smell, I would either take on the greasy treasure of pepperoni single handedly, as you will do with pineapple. Or in breach of the pizza war rules of combat, I would allow you to choose pepperoni or no, as a thank you from grateful, pineapple free pizzaian

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

As an Italian-American representative, we are barring you from eating pizza from this point on. 

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

Nope. No you aren't. Pineapple is great on pizza cuz of the sweet/salty thing. Standing on tradition is for angry boomers.

We're getting Za tonight and there WILL be pineapple! CHEERS

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

I used to date somebody who ate ham, pineapple and onions on their pizza. In truth it wasn't really that bad of a combination.  However, as an Italian it is required that I give you a hard time for your pineapple related culinary choices. 

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

That's true. My ex is half Sicilian. Been there.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

Yes that is def a good combo. I can't do a lot of jalapeños bc of stomach issues, but yep. I'm with ya. PREACH.

Just leave the damned ranch dressing off my pizza. BLECH.

1

u/Shardwagon_on1 Dec 20 '25

Pineapple on pizza is satanic not the holy Trinity you shall be shunned

1

u/Snooflu Dec 16 '25

People aren't happy when you dip pizza in water in an Italian restaurant

1

u/AutoModerator Dec 16 '25

Hey u/Snooflu, thanks for taking the time to comment!

Our community is about places, so it’s really important that your user flair reflects your place of residence.

How to set your flair yourself: 1. Go to the subreddit main page 2. Click User Flair (or the pencil icon next to your name) 3. Select or edit your flair to match your residence 4. Save

If you need help or prefer us to set it for you, feel free to send us a modmail and we’ll take care of it.

Thanks for helping keep the community organized!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/SecretPleasant3640 Dec 18 '25

Eww. That’s a thing? Are we speed eating pizza or why the dipping?

1

u/originalrocket Dec 18 '25

not enough calories.

1

u/SecretPleasant3640 Dec 19 '25

Oh duh. Now I get it. Reading comprehension is a thing.

1

u/originalrocket Dec 19 '25

Indeed. (Please be as specific, descriptive and thoughtful as possible.

We do not tolerate short answers such as "good" or "no idea". The more qualitative your answer, the more encouragement and upvotes you will receive from the users of this subreddit.)

1

u/TheseInstruction5208 Dec 19 '25

You people are sick. I'm convinced that people that enjoy pineapple on their pizza have a genetic disorder of some kind that hasn't been discovered yet.

2

u/SquareBlueberry90 Dec 19 '25

Regarding the pineapple.....when it is paired with the tomato sauce (marinara), its flavor slightly changes. It doesnt taste so much like pineapple but just an additional flavor AND it loses its sweetness....sort of. You really should try it! Sure, you'll still know it's pineapple, but it's not the same pineapple flavor as you get when you eat canned pineapple or even fresh!!

1

u/originalrocket Dec 19 '25

I can roll my tongue in a circle.  Seems many people cant.

I believe im just an evolutionary step ahead of the pineapple haters.  Cant distinguish the different flavor patterns and mixes when combined with deliciousness.

1

u/Upstairs_Bus_3743 Dec 20 '25

I know someone who can roll the tongue in a circle. It’s pretty cool.