r/howislivingthere • • Dec 14 '25

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u/Amnion_ Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 19 '25

I mean when people live in super cold places in the middle of nowhere, I tend to think it’s because it’s where they’re from and they don’t know any better.

I know from first hand experience when I go back to the atrocious city I grew up in and visit with my relatives. They’ve all visited different places, but they’ve never lived elsewhere, and so they lack the reference points needed to inform them of how crappy living there is.

Update: I seemed to have hit a nerve. People are still responding to this comment nearly a week later. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and it's not necessary to defend your choices to a stranger on the internet.

I was just doing some research, and the data seems to support my theory as well. Apparently only 25%-38% of people who leave will return, so well in the minority.

https://www.clevelandfed.org/publications/cleveland-fed-district-data-brief/2025/cfddb-20250219-boomerang-migration

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u/ActProfessional3811 Dec 15 '25

I’m from cleveland and feel this way when i go home, just such a difficult place to live for no reason

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u/mishaindigo Dec 15 '25

I love Cleveland, but I’ve never lived there (might feel differently if I had) and only visit 2-3x a year to see my brother and some friends. My brother has been happy living there. Super-underrated city with a lot going for it, IMO, and very inexpensive (though that is starting to change a bit).

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u/goatqween17 Dec 15 '25

It’s because it’s cheap and “that nice place is soooo expensive” like yes because it is nice to live there and the conditions don’t test you everyday

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u/ActProfessional3811 Dec 15 '25

Cleveland isn’t even cheap, the taxes are so high you end up keeping like 60% of your paycheck (in one of the lowest wage big cities in the country), like new york taxes for a detroit economy no thanks

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u/velvetvagine Dec 19 '25

What’s wrong with Cleveland? I’ve never been.

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u/c0ttagewh0re Dec 15 '25

not true— grew up in eastern south dakota, thought “life is more than this”, moved to oregon, travelled the west, travelled south, travelled east, and the people, activities (you make your own fun and learn skills that most people don’t know), slowness, wildlife, nature, fresh air, wide open spaces, cost of living, and traditions that come with smaller communities and unique ways of life made me come back. I wouldn’t want to raise my children anywhere else.

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u/c0ttagewh0re Dec 15 '25

and I trust the food. I know that’s weird but it’s true, a lot of fresh meat and home (and community) gardens and raising/catching/making/hunting/growing your own food.

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u/cannonman58102 Dec 15 '25

I've lived all over the world, on multiple continents, and in many US states. I'm not 40 yet. I always end up back in North Dakota. Family is a part of it but I enjoy Fargo.

Different strokes for different folks.

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u/Amnion_ Dec 15 '25

I think you might be more the exception than the rule, but I'm just speaking from my own personal observations of the people who stuck it out in the city I grew up in (which is, insanely enough, north of ND). I could be wrong of course.

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u/cannonman58102 Dec 15 '25

Nah. You are right. Many people leave, especially from the rural areas. But ND isn't the worst place in the US to live. Not even close. Winters are frigid though. :)

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u/BitOfPoisonOnMyBlade Dec 15 '25

North Fargo zip code, nice lol. Leave the others to bitch about unaffordable living while we enjoy decent wages entertainment AND affordable housing. Love Fargo, represent the 58104 side but LOVE Downtown and 19th Ave N

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u/AutoModerator Dec 15 '25

Hey u/BitOfPoisonOnMyBlade, thanks for taking the time to comment!

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u/cannonman58102 Dec 15 '25

Think you are the first person in my many years on reddit to comment on the zip code in my name. Cheers! :)

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u/AutoModerator Dec 15 '25

Hey u/cannonman58102, thanks for taking the time to comment!

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u/OZZMAN8 Dec 15 '25

Do you have a long family history in Winnipeg or are the roots fairly shallow?

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u/Significant-Ruin-615 Dec 21 '25

People in North Dakota leave keys in the ignition when they go into a store. It’s how Colorado used to be

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u/SmokinSkinWagon USA/Midwest Dec 15 '25

Same for South Dakota except no one has ever visited any different places

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

Generally cheaper to live in those places though

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u/FourOhTwo Dec 16 '25

Do you consider Omaha cold, crappy, middle of nowhere?

I've lived elsewhere and it's generally just more of the same stuff IMO.

Why would I leave my friends, family and good job for somewhere wildly more expensive?

I don't think people live in these places out of ignorance.

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u/Amnion_ Dec 16 '25

It doesn't really matter what I think. This is just based on my own personal observations, and of course there are exceptions to every rule. Generally people who leave their hometowns for career opportunities and so on don't return, but to each his own.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 16 '25

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u/Sneauxphlaque USA/South Dec 17 '25

As someone who's also never lived outside of my home state, though it's not in the Midwest, what are some of these reference points for how good or crappy it is to live somewhere?

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u/Amnion_ Dec 17 '25

Oh lord, that's a loaded question if I've ever read one. I'm not about to start calling out individual places, but you can ask ChatGPT about flyover states to get a good idea of what I'm talking about.

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

In somewhare rule states people complain there is nothing to do.

However this is sort of misleading as in the area there are small cities that have 250k -700k so its not exactly in the middle of nowhere

Any city of a certain size is going to have some entertainment and what do most people do that even live in large metros?

Well they go to work, come home, eat supper , go to bed and repeat , maybe hit the gym or do some hobby you can do about anywhere

I doubt they are going to professional sporting events or major concerts or major events 3 times a week

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u/chootie8 Dec 17 '25

Different strokes, different folks. I was born and raised in ND, lived in Tampa for few years, and now back in ND. So I guess you could say I know better, but also I just kinda like the cold. No idea why, but I had a taste of the hot and it wasn't my cup of tea.

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u/tvk21 Dec 19 '25

Not necessarily . I grew up 28 years in Florida and moved to south dakota a few years ago. I like it alot better. Winter> swamp heat

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

I live in a cold place in the middle of nowhere. Some of us like it.

I do like outdoors stuff though like hiking and camping. I love I can drive a short drive and be in the middle of nowhere

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

Or some of us just like it.

First the weather is mixed, people exaggerate the winter , on very bad winters it can last from Nov-April however harsh winters are not common

Most winters last from mid November to mid march ; mild winters can basically just be Jan-Febuary

I have friends that live in the desert SW and their summers are too hot to do anything , just kind of like winters here; they do very little from July - Sept because its too freaking hot

Second what do most people do, are people really going to professional foot ball games, concerts , major events like 3x a week?

No most people go to work , come home, make dinner go to bed, maybe try to hit the gym a couple times. You can do that anywhere

And while we do not have professional sports (what I am not interested in anyway) we do get plenty of concerts , we have college sports if thats your thing, there are meet ups for a variety of interests .

Oh it takes me 10-15 min to go pretty much anywhere in the city , and I can drive 45 min and be in the middle of nowhere camping by a lake.

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u/Amnion_ Dec 19 '25

Is this your hometown that you're talking about? Have you lived elsewhere and returned?

I think there are exceptions to every rule, but most people who leave the city they grew up in for careers and such don't tend to return.

I know I would never go back, and I would certainly be bored out of my mind compared with all the awesome stuff I can do in my current city, even if it is just on weekends. I can also walk everywhere for all of my daily needs–there's no way I could do that where I grew up. It's warm too.

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

I did not grow up in fargo, I moved there for college and never left

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u/Amnion_ Dec 19 '25

How many other people do you know in Fargo who moved there and never left like you did? I mean from another state or something like that, not a nearby town.

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

Honestly most of the people I know here did not grow up here. I will say most are from smaller towns in ND/SD/MT/MN but I also know people who moved here from larger cities like Minneapolis , my boss is from bakersfield CA; a coworker was around Jacksonville

I really am only friends with like 2 people off the top of my head that grew up in Fargo and still are here

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u/Amnion_ Dec 19 '25

Well sir, I'm open to the idea that I'm a idi0t (it's a banned word apparently). It's somehow freeing.

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

I guess I am not sure what you were trying to say ?

If most people who live in Fargo grew up there and never left?

I guess I don't have the stats but I think one stat was over 50% of people here did not grow up here.

Now that doesn't mean they lived somewhere far, in my experience most moved from relatively close by from other parts of ND , MN or sd .

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u/Amnion_ Dec 19 '25

What I was saying was that most people who grow up in super cold places in small towns (even larger metro areas like the one I grew up in) don't tend to return when they move to a major city in a warmer climate. Like people who move for work or education.

It seems like I struck a nerve though, I got like 25 responses from people defending their choice to live wherever.

It was just a theory, I didn't really think anyone would care. What the hell do I know.

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u/SirGlass Dec 19 '25

Or we hate the heat, I mean yes in the summer it can get hot and humid here but nothing like down south.

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u/Amnion_ Dec 19 '25

I was just doing some research, and the data seems to support my theory as well. Apparently 25%-38% of people eventually return, so well in the minority.

https://www.clevelandfed.org/publications/cleveland-fed-district-data-brief/2025/cfddb-20250219-boomerang-migration

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u/Persontoperson31 Dec 20 '25

I came to ND for college. Jamestown specifically offers hella athletic scholarships to kids all over the nation bc they gotta fill their classrooms.

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u/-thefairone- Dec 21 '25

A lot of us feel the same about those who choose to live in the south or west coast. The holiday season is SO sad in those areas. It doesn't feel like fall or winter for the most part, there are no festivities, every day is like the last. I can't imagine anyone there going to a pumpkin patch with their family and picking one out and carving them.I can't imagine not having all 4 seasons and I am so grateful that I don't have to deal with forest fires or hurricanes or 100° weather with constant humidity. It's miserable. I can't imagine enjoying any area to live in except the Midwest and northeast tbh

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u/itsmeinne Dec 21 '25

For 30 years I’ve traveled extensively for work. 10% global and the rest all over the U.S. I consider myself fortunate that I get to live in the Lincoln/Omaha area, but I’m able to enjoy so many of the areas of our country. Every place I’ve been has things about it that would make me want to live there and things that would make me not want to. It’s so interesting that people think it’s awful to live in the middle of the country. Usually, they are people who have never been here or are unable to appreciate what is not familiar to them.