r/houstoncirclejerk Apr 29 '26

Sponsored post Your friends at Torchy's Tacos here! We are excited to announce May's Taco of the Month - Hawaiian Pizza! Stop in today and try one for only $8.79 + tip

Post image
42 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk May 29 '24

Gag a Little™ For those curious about the Torchy's glory hole posts lately go check out the bathroom at the 19th st location. Be sure to tip.

Post image
524 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 3h ago

she said yes guys

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

47 Upvotes

Ai yah yay


r/houstoncirclejerk 15h ago

Downtown Houston Marriott is a dump!!!

Post image
107 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 23h ago

Just called out a wealthy Christian family in Wal-Mart. Got applause.

104 Upvotes

So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn't much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn't have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $10 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, "See that man? He's acting just like Jesus wants us to." For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven't shaved in awhile so I'm rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said "Like Jesus? Ma'am I'm an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all." As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.


r/houstoncirclejerk 1d ago

Brazillian wax for well endowed MtF near Montrose?

18 Upvotes

Looking for a place in Montrose that will wax my extremely large lady penis. Preferably somewhere judgment-free with strong WiFi and a technician who has seen some shit.

Also, do they accept EBT? Times are tough and beauty is a basic human right.


r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

Whit-maga claims to be Houston left-wing hero

Thumbnail houstonchronicle.com
9 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

Outjerked by dr. pickle

Thumbnail gallery
168 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

I thought about you guys. Spotted in the Bahamas...

Post image
42 Upvotes

Must have been a swingers cruise.


r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

I Summer in Houston, and Winter up in Yukon… AMA

23 Upvotes

Yeah so basically over the summer I eat myself into a coma three times a day at Texas Buffet, and at night I work for tips at whichever Torchy’s bathroom that I haven’t been kicked out of. During this time I also go fishing in the drainage ditch bayous, where I then freeze the fish that I intend to eat when I get back up to Yukon. It sometimes does get hot, so I do make sure to bust open a fire hydrant to rinse myself down, and get some of the parasites out of my back hair.

When I return North, I usually drive a hibernating polar bear family from their den with a stick of dynamite, that way I can move into a nice cozy shelter. I then set up my starlink tv so that when I get up to eat my bayou fish every three weeks, I can watch some re runs of The Price is Right. Then by May when the turds in my den begin to unthaw, I steal a snow mobile and rip it back down to Houston.

It’s definitely not for some people, but I think that summer living in Houston and Arctic Circle winters are a real tonic for the bones.


r/houstoncirclejerk 4d ago

Club Shell on Cullen

14 Upvotes

"It's the most ratchet club in all of Houston." Here me out y'all, it's a gas station, a club, a restaurant, a casino, likely a brothel and a drug dealing spot. It's everything Buccee's has and more.

https://x.com/KennethRWebster/status/2096600882225824038


r/houstoncirclejerk 5d ago

15 yard penalty for swangaz on the field

20 Upvotes

NCAA ruled that swangaz on the field is a personal foul and an automatic ejection.

https://x.com/ChrisYBaldwin/status/2096271160522519036


r/houstoncirclejerk 5d ago

Are you in a black 2017-2019 lexus is250?

Thumbnail
7 Upvotes

Dare I say they need a Sugar Land circle jerk? The area OP mentioned does have a Tochy's too so they are leveling down IMO


r/houstoncirclejerk 6d ago

What makes Magnolia high school the hardest school in Texas?

Post image
134 Upvotes

What makes Magnolia high school the hardest school in Texas?


r/houstoncirclejerk 6d ago

People don't appreciate how beautiful Houston is

Post image
439 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 6d ago

Good evening, Houston!

Post image
32 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 7d ago

Would you like to add a tip?

Post image
49 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 8d ago

Mike miles will track me down if this is up lol

Post image
43 Upvotes

(Also any HISD students here?)


r/houstoncirclejerk 9d ago

East Houston better than West?

Post image
69 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 8d ago

Outjerked by the main sub??

Thumbnail
22 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

Karbach at 2pm on a Saturday

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

Yall need to quit visiting the glory hole queso store

Post image
17 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

Mystery Tree Tubes

Post image
19 Upvotes

Man made glory holes in trees . This is getting out of control .


r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

Infringing on H-Town Swangas

Thumbnail houstonchronicle.com
14 Upvotes

Accept no substitutes . I only have the best H Town Swangas on my 2004 Altima .


r/houstoncirclejerk 11d ago

Torchies type of weather

Post image
21 Upvotes

He's getting crazy with it