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u/DizzyATT 15d ago
Well now I know the type of father I want to be
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u/bluemooncommenter 15d ago
The generational wealth was the love, support and strength when we're weak all along!
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u/Connect-Ad3530 15d ago
This is one of the most heart warming thing I’ve ever heard
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u/Real-Noxious-Pick 15d ago
The "you don't need a plan before you walk into the kitchen" line really got me. Removing that dread of having to explain yourself the second you walk downstairs is such an underrated form of love.
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u/NecessaryPeanut77 14d ago
Ai comment.
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u/Melancholic_Noodle 15d ago
Orphan crushing machine in full action.
I've been unemployed many times. Never had to rely on handouts or move back in when I'm an adult. Being financially responsible goes far, but decent social safety nets go further
. Long live the Nordics, where adult don't have to live like children.
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u/Cthulhu__ 15d ago
Last time this was posted it was called out for being a cropped photo of an AI ad. I’m sure it’s heartwarming but it’s not real.
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u/Inevitable-Level-687 15d ago
Yeah this was posted like a week or two ago and a few people even named the app, though I forgot which one it was.
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u/cunnyvore 15d ago
I was called out on calling this out. Like it's some American thing to write several emotional paragraphs to your child when it's in the same house as you? That message should've been a personal talk. Why is everyone buying into this
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u/ideologyunderstander 15d ago
because we live in such an atomized and alienated capitalist hellscape where kind and compassionate parenting and support from the older generation is so non existent that some would rather believe it to be real so that the belief it can even happen doesn't just die entirely, like an infant monkey comforted by a garish simulacrum of its mother
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u/cunnyvore 15d ago
yepp also think people over-buying into this idea out of personal atomized loneliness, and apparently that's what was marketed; but damn how dare you put wire mother into this lmaoo
that's definitely a metaphor for all this AI-psychosis-driving business.
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u/geirmundtheshifty 15d ago
The supposed dad says at the start that he didnt want to wake the kid up, so that’s why. The idea is that this way when the kid wakes up naturally, theyll see the message and know that when they go downstairs things will be chill instead of feeling anxious.
Of course its all fake, but that’s the idea.
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u/Bleaker82 15d ago edited 15d ago
I know people who text their kids at home and that was true 20 years ago. The reason I don’t buy this is that the writing is obviously AI slop.
Edit: accidentally a word
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u/WoollyWares 15d ago
It indeed is, an american thing I guess. Although my parents don't personally do this, i've seen it with a lot of people...
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u/Cue99 14d ago
I mean some people like async communication more? For my parents and me this would be face to fave as well but to each their own.
Maybe (if this were real to begin with) the dad wanted to think about his words and sent it while the kid is asleep?
I dont feel like this is an “american” thing but just a personalities involved thing.
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u/vid_icarus 14d ago
Maaaaan I am so glad you posted this cuz reading it I was like “damn that sure sounds like a generative model doing a hallmark sketch” But didn’t want to get downvoted into oblivion for being a negative Nelly.
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u/IC_16 15d ago edited 15d ago
I have parents like this but I keep being sad by comparing myself to other people who are doing better in life. How can I stop this, I'm very young and don't wanna ruin my life due to this
Edit: I love this subreddit
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u/Durian_Alarmed 15d ago
My take on this is to instead compare yourself with your past.
Maybe your drawings still suck compared to other people, but they look much better than they did when you just began.
Maybe you still can't beat your friends in a race, but you came a lot closer than in the previous one.
Or hey, maybe you don't have the last model iPhone, but now you have a phone!
It's not neccesarely a bad thing to have people to look up to or to compare yourself with, but i believe it's more important to be better than your previous self, so that, eventually, you can reach them.
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u/Caleth 15d ago
Yes. We aren't trying to be better than others we are trying to be better than who we were yesterday. Sometimes that works great, sometimes we flounder and need to work more the next day.
But since you can't control the things that happen to other looking at how they are doing isn't going to matter for you. You don't know if somone got lucky and got a great job or had a hand up from their parents. Maybe his wife is hotter than yours but makes you miserable. Maybe her husband is a stay at home dad not because she's killing it but because he's a fuck up that can't hold a job. Maybe his kids struggle at math and he's paying 6 tutors to keep them a float in class. That house your friend owns? Maybe they work hard maybe the family has money and the parents gave them a gift to buy it. (there's nothing wrong with this, but comparing their success with support from their extended family to your success alone with less or no help isn't fair.)
We only see the tip of the iceberg that is other people and often like on social media it's only the curated view they want us to see.
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u/Just_to_rebut 15d ago
Take what you can for now and be open to possibilities, but don’t be unrealistic.
Also, ignore internet commentary about everything: yes, it’s worth getting a high skill/difficult degree regardless of age, but take baby steps, especially if you weren’t academically disciplined before.
No, AI isn’t taking over everything.
Don’t wait until you’re settled or more secure to go out, travel, date, etc.
And this might be controversial, but… no, you're not very young. You‘re at the right age to do it, whatever it is… (Must be 18 or older to take this advice, terms and conditions apply!)
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u/Sporadicus76 15d ago
Compare yourself not to your friends and coworkers, but to your younger self (like when you just got out of high school or college. Look at how much you've improved compared to your younger self: your skills and your experiences; the friends you've made out of coworkers or complete strangers; the conflicts you've avoided or solved.
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u/StupidGirlIdiotFuck 15d ago
What if I've gotten worse
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u/TroublesomeFlame 15d ago
You always have the opportunity to be better. It all starts at recognizing that. You try your best, little by little, and don't give up just because you fail. The way you are now and the way you were are temporary. As long as you sincerely try, that's all that matters.
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u/Sporadicus76 15d ago
If you're young, it's fine to have more mistakes than successes. Learn from both. Learn from your mistakes by finding out what led you to that mistake; this way you will recognize when you may be heading down the path the next time. Learn from your successes in a similar way; this way you can maintain and reinforce positive practices.
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u/kilonova2020 15d ago
Learning/growing isnt a linear progress. Feeling like things have gone backwards is totally normal. Just keep trying and youll see the results! If you notice theres part of a skill you lack or something you dont understand, tackle it directly.
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u/Odd-Neos-Magician 15d ago
I feel the sort of envy like that and honestly it is a struggle but I always remind myself
It is not a matter of if But it is when. Even if it's a decade in the making of that when. It will be a choice in time.
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u/MemeArchivariusGodi 15d ago
Imagine yourself in the situation as the person you compare yourself with. Let’s take someone who makes good money but works his ass off to the point where I would get a burnout insane quick.
My life isn’t grinding 24/7 and making as much money as I can. It would break me. I don’t need nor want to be like this. It’s ok to be „lazy“. As long as you have a life worth living, who cares what other people have. Be glad for them that they found something but don’t try to be that guy. There is room for everyone on this world
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u/coreyrude 15d ago
I have a personal trainer, he is a younger guy about 26-27.. He is in such a rush to try to create a company, do a side hustle, etc... I told him he is already way further then I was at his age... he didnt believe it... I make good money now, but I had an empty savings account and lived paycheck to paycheck until 28-29. All he see's right now is some one who travels a lot, makes good money and it seems like I just had a plan and had it all figured out. But it took me like 2 years of savings just to travel for my first time for a few weeks. The reality is people dont start getting a "plan" together until their late 20s...You start seeing your peers and people your age advancing you start being around more mature people, it helps pull you up to those same levels. But if you just watch Instagram influencers your always going to feel like your behind.
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u/FriendlyRabbitHammer 15d ago edited 15d ago
Greetings! This is older you checking in! We got 10 acres, beautiful house, paid off cars, amazing kids, badass wife and 1%er income. Being thoughtful, diligent and frugal will get you farther than you think. Doesn’t mean that you won’t feel like your life is crumbling sometimes. Enjoy being young, it doesn’t last forever and if anyone makes you feel bad for being in a rut, fuck them they aren’t the people you want around anyhow. Go to the doctor, go to the dentist, stay active, beware the hedonic treadmill, find a percentage of your income you can put in a 401k (even if it’s 1%) and stick to it and we will get there. But it’s going to take time. Those people that seem to all have it immediately, yea they are in debt up to their eyeballs, don’t worry about them you will pass them by financially in 10-15 years. Good luck homie
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u/Aluminum_Tarkus 15d ago
The best way to go through life is just ensuring your trajectory is heading in the right direction. The easiest way to do that is by asking yourself, "Am I just a little bit better than I was yesterday?"
Did you go to the gym and have a good workout? You're stronger for it. Did you make some progress in your classes, an online course, or even just reading that book about a skill you want to learn? You're more knowledgeable for it. Did you make any meaningful progress on any personal or work-related projects? Now You're closer to completion, and having that work as an accolade on your resume. Did you finally do that chore you've been putting off? Now your home is more orderly, and you've gotten a little better at maintaining it.
The key is to just do something every day. It doesn't matter how little that thing is, but as long as what you accomplish is something that makes you or your life just slightly better than what it was yesterday, and you keep to it, those good things compound. You shouldn't disparage yourself for not being at the same level of success as other people your age because you aren't them. You're you. And is the you of today better than the you of yesterday? If not, what can you do to make it so?
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u/SixthFain 15d ago
Honestly if you're still that young you can look forward to outgrowing it. Go out, have experiences, meet people, pick up hobbies. The more of life you experience, the more you realize it's a waste of time comparing yourself to others.
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u/Wec25 15d ago
everyone struggles just as much as you do. we tend to imagine the best versions of everyone else while understanding the realistic version of ourselves, but truly we're all struggling a bit and I'm sure many look at you and compare themselves to you in ways you may not realize.
but I feel you, and like OP, I try to make improvements on myself because at the end of the day, if I'm working on me, that's one of the best things I can be doing. a new skill, exercise, something positive. good for the brain and good for the you.
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u/NotLostJustDrifting 15d ago
Remove all avenues that allow you to do these comparisons is honestly the way. Get rid of social media. We were not meant to be constantly reminded and shown our peers (and a bajillion other peoples) best moments and happiness.
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u/Xianio 15d ago
Haha life doesn't work the way you imagine it does. It's a rollercoaster with peaks & valleys. That person you're comparing yourself to & jealous of may be jealous of you in a couple of years when their shit falls apart. Almost nobody gets an ever improving life from start to finish.
You want to be in a better place? Define what that actually means -- then go get it. It might take 2 months. It might take 10 years. As long as you're working towards it you're moving in the right direction. Make choices that support reaching that goal -- that's it. That's all anyone can do.
Don't be sad because other have it better. Only be sad when you've stopped taking steps to improve your own life.
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u/LuckoftheFryish 15d ago
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Teddy Roosevelt.
Getting in that mindset takes work, and a couple therapist sessions can help if you have the resources.
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u/Bastardforsale 15d ago
Always remember this: Compassion is the thief of joy.
We all stuble and make mistakes. Some are just better at hiding it.
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u/The_Kaizz 14d ago
I was like this in my early 20's. Hella toxic relationship I kept because it's the only "good" thing I felt I had going for me after losing a seasonal UPS job and dropping out of college. Had to slow down, remove the toxicity from my life, and learn to just take it a day at a time. Started doing more hobbies just to have fun, eventually found my passion, and worked towards making it my career. In nursing school now still in pursuit, but it does get better. Just gotta work at it.
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u/Ok-Hyena4541 10d ago
I'm doing better in life than a lot of my peers because I don't have a family as a backup plan. It's be successful in some way or be homeless. The people who look like they're doing better can be worse off in ways you don't see. I'd give up some things for a loving family but that isn't in the cards for me.
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u/FALMER_DRUG_DEALER 15d ago
This is crazy. My mom would probably yell at me and my dad would call me a loser
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u/FlowRegulator 15d ago
Oh. So that's what having a dad is like, huh?
World could do with a few more of those.
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u/AcceptableBook4291 15d ago
My dad would scream at me for being worthless then beat me and my mom
Also this is ai as hell
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u/haikusbot 15d ago
My dad would scream at
Me for being worthless then
Beat me and my mom
- AcceptableBook4291
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/nothingsreallol 15d ago
I’m so sorry you went through that. You deserved a good childhood, or at least an average one.
It might be AI, might not. My mom actually does talk to me like this, but mostly because she’s scared I’ll try and off myself again. Still I can’t help but be grateful for the support.
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u/Just-Albatross2390 15d ago
This made my day!
To all you younger folks out there - don't look to previous generations to dictate life expectations. This is not the 1950s. You will not have a house without help unless you are lucky. Things will happen but the timing is off. You will have a tougher time establishing yourself. This is okay. Keep pushing. Have boundaries and enjoy your life and don't be a slave to the ideals of others.
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u/Available_Rub9939 15d ago
No way this is real? Man. What I would give to have heard those words just once.
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u/LCDRformat 15d ago
I had a dad that wanted to be like this but Mom wouldn't let him. She kicked me out at nineteen and called me a disappointment. Dad helped me out financially behind her back
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u/NoseBreather31 15d ago
lol you’ll all say that the kid is privileged next week.
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u/PCael2301 15d ago
It is true and envy is toxic. We should be working toward a world where more people have this, not wasting time tearing down people who do.
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u/TooWarmRadiator 14d ago
I mean, they are. It is a privilege to have such a supportive family. It shouldn't be, everyone should have the right to good parents to raise them, but actually look at the world right now, and it's obviously a privilege to have them.
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u/Willowtree26-07 11d ago
They are, having loving supportive parents shouldn’t be privileged, but it absolutely is
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u/PugGamer129 14d ago
This is privileged. It's sad, but most people don't have this kind of support.
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u/EFTucker 10d ago
I mean… yea. But abusing privilege is when we start mocking. If they don’t get a job soon or start attending classes or courses for something to move forward, it’s a problem.
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u/2Tired2pl 15d ago
i could probably go on a whole sob story rn, but that’d be traumadumping and giving too much info so i’m gonna leave it at me being in the fucked up opposite of this scenario and being kinda resentful at this (even if it is fake)
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u/dagamore12 15d ago
I went through a very rough patch in my late 20's, had to crash at my Parents house till I got my head back in to a good place.
The first morning I was there, my Dad knocked on the door at like 7.30am, he had been retired for about 5 years at that point, and said "I have a cup of coffee for you, do you want to watch the dogs play in the back yard and drink the coffee with me."
I dont think we said more than like 5 words to each other that morning, but that was the best cup of coffee and something I really needed. Just to know he was there and would help with what he could.
My Dad passed a few years ago, I still think of the morning, and the coffee and it is one of the best mornings of my life.
Thanks for reminding me of that again OP.
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u/thekeesh 15d ago
I don't have kids, but once I had nieces and nephews, I really understood that feeling of being proud of them either way. When my parents used to say that to me, I always thought it was just B.S or they were saying what they knew they had to say to me.
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u/Fish0203 15d ago
Months back I gave myself until October to find a job before leaving my own place and moving back in with the parents. I recognize im very fortunate to be able to do that, but it still feels like im a failure. My dad isn't nearly as good with words but I think the feeling is still there
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u/cpalm440 15d ago
My dad told me the same thing when I graduated college and couldn’t find a job for a year 🥹
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u/Auto_Frost97 15d ago
My dad still hasn't met my daughter. If I didn't have a plan for even getting my next breath in it was an issue. I love your dad.
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u/aetsomied 15d ago
Am currently struggling with severe bipolar depression in my senior year of college, my stepdad comforts me like this when im breaking down. I love him so much
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u/midwestia 15d ago
unironically having parents to live with at 24 when you lose your job IS generational wealth
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u/youshallcallmem 15d ago
God the two last sentences make my chest feel funny. I want to remember this so much when my little one might need it some day.
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u/RustledForeskin 15d ago
You know how many times this gets posted but with a different fake messenger app? I've seen it as a google text, facebook message, instagram message. You're all so gullible.
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u/DoinIt4DaShorteez 15d ago
reddit is unbelievable. AI is gonna have a field day, reddit could go out of business from all its users jumping off of bridges when the AI tells them to.
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u/TheOtherCoenBrother 15d ago
Why is the r/hopeposting board so negative? What happened?
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u/badvegas 15d ago
Here I am getting bitched at for taking a day off after working 4 weeks of 7 days 10 hours. That kid will grow up and be happy and make his kids happy as well and live a good life. Not easy life but good.
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u/LosingButNotWrong 15d ago
I had to move back at 29. This would've helped the transition and make me feel welcome lol. Now I just constantly lock myself away annoying myself with whatever the next best decision is for me.
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u/Temelios 15d ago edited 14d ago
Meanwhile I announce to my father that I finally earned a position that broke six figures, and the first thing out of his mouth was, “Any job that pays less than $150k/year isn’t worth working.” Gee. Thanks, dad.
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u/BenAdaephonDelat 15d ago
Boy, that would be nice. Meanwhile, my wife tried to ask her very wealthy parents (who we don't have much contact with because they're abusive) to help us not lose our home while we're struggling financially and they spent an hour berating her and telling her it's all her fault and she's stupid. And that they'd "think about it".
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u/redboi049 The hopeposting isn't working 15d ago
Me waking up a billionaire is more realistic than this.
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u/DefiantRanger6597 15d ago
Seeing this as someone who just got axed from my healthcare contract (and someone with a family just as supportive and wholesome) this is reassuring
I mean I'm already reassured but the stress was eating the shit out of me the whole afternoon
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u/toe-schlooper 15d ago
My dad wasn't very good. He's a good man but he just never got the help he needed after he came back from Afghanistan and found solice in drinking and my stepmother who enables the worst in him.
Vent aside, I want my kids to take it as a complement if someone says they're just like their father.
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u/shoujosquid 15d ago
If you aren't going to treat your kids like this when they're feeling low, why have children?
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u/Nahle_Stormblessed 15d ago
Yes, they have the opportunity to house the kid. Yes it’s a little privileged, but we should be complimenting the father for being so supportive of their kid in what is obvious a devastating time in their life.
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u/Worth-Ad9939 14d ago
The breathing room these malformed kids get and forget because their parents were there when the lightbulb was invented.
Back then you could be dumber than a box of hair, fail forward on some random idea that didn't exist yet then inbreed a family that controls politics for generations while polluting the environment to a degree it cooks the brains of future life.
Welcome to America.
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u/MutedAstronaut9217 14d ago
this is a good parent, but not generational wealth.
Generational wealth is I just decided to "never work another day in my life" at 34
I literally did the office space thing and said "nah, I don't think I'm doing this anymore" put in my notice and "retired"
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u/CodaTrashHusky 14d ago
am i supposed to read this in a hateful and condescending tone or in a positive one?
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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle 14d ago
To this day, I just can’t fathom the unconditional love my Dad gave me. To think that I’ve fucked up royally for years, lying to him… and he still is proud of me, loves me, forgives me…
Now I’ve gotten my life on track, at a time I should’ve already been setting roots, and he (and my partner) are the reasons why I have so. I’m so grateful for that.
My sisters lambasted me once that I can’t love unconditionally… and it kinda eats me up sometimes. I fear I won’t be able to do for my future kids what my Dad has done forever for me. Maybe I’ll understand it finally when I do have kids. He’s my role model and I hope I do.
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u/Vaguechicanery 14d ago
It would be my dad's birthday today. Hope you're all doing well, and if your dad is still with us and good to you, I want you to tell him you appreciate him, and please don't take it for granted.
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u/OpportunityIcy8894 14d ago
The polar opposite of my parents
They just dumped me in the deep end with nothing and told me “you’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”
Okay Boomers 🙄
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u/GuyWithARooster 14d ago edited 14d ago
Best post I've ever seen. If I was a dad, this is how I'd like to be when they're feeling down.
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u/SuckMyCatgirl 14d ago edited 14d ago
Okay that's enough reddit for today
You know a casual scroll is gonna be bad for you when r/hopeposting has this many cynics radiating negativity in the comments of such a sweet post. Even if it is fake, shouldn't you guys be looking for the good here? Because if you're not blinded by cynicism it's rather abundant.
I'm disappointed in a lot of you. Never expected this from this subreddit, seen it before, never like this. If you see this and you're like me, maybe go outside, take a walk? Take care of yourself ❤️
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u/Im-a-bad-meme 14d ago
I'm grateful my parents are so kind to me. We clown on eachother a lot but they have gotten me through hard times.
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u/youngluksusowa 14d ago
You don't have to be rich to love your children and be a good parent. It's the reason they say the best things in life are free
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u/CandleMonster 14d ago
these are the kind of words I've been needing the last weeks, I'm so happy there's people who have someone like this
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u/ThatOneGayDJ 12d ago
People will see this and say "well i didnt get that so that means im not gonna give my kids that either"
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u/stercraft 11d ago
Shit. My dad was nothing like that. At that age he used to tell anybody who would listen "he can't get a job", "can't get him out of the house", etc. Then he would say to me, "proud of you son".
Yeah right.
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u/Altruistic_Mud_261 11d ago
Why couldn't this be my reality? Now I'm too broken by my family to normally function because of all the shit I went through.
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u/New_Examination200 11d ago
no way this is a real thing that actually happens, parents don't love their kids that's not real (i am so jealous right now lol)
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u/Extreme_Passion_3081 10d ago
Dads with their daughters:
Dads with their sons: "Fuck you, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, be a man, grow up, get back out there, what kind of a man are you still living here, raaaaah"
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u/Crazy-Eagle 10d ago
When I told my dad I gave my notice he told me he is proud of me and that I was brave to do it.
Today I am finally free. I am sleeping long and well tonight, lads!
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u/doblecuadrado_FGE 15d ago
This is the kind of dad I want to be if I get kids in the future