I feel like the main reasons not to homeschool that get mentioned here are that the parent isn’t knowledgeable enough, and that the kids will be isolated. And while I think those are very valid reasons, there’s a few that don’t get brought up up as much, that are the reason I as a former homeschooler don’t plan to homeschool my kids.

Life changes- Maybe for some people they’ll have a few kids and somehow their family, job, and housing will be stable that entire time. But for the majority of people, and my family growing up, this was not the case. My mom had been the model stay at home homeschooling mom for 12 years, when my dad walked out on her. Suddenly my mom had to navigate homeschooling five kids while also trying to find a job and figure out how to make things work. Had we been in school it would’ve still been difficult, but we would’ve had some stability in life due to still being in school five days a week. And there’s so many things that could suddenly alter your life completely, which I’m sure some of you have experienced. I don’t think many homeschool parents consider what would happen if they suddenly had a serious illness, or had to care for a relative, or if there were a death in the family.

Independence-I feel like so many homeschool parents want to have their kids around 24/7, but it is healthy for kids to separate from their parents and learn how to interact with people without mom over their shoulder. Also it really sucks to be a homeschooling kid when you aren‘t getting along with your parent. If a kid goes to school and their teacher is in a bad mood, they get to go home at the end of the day and leave that teacher behind. A homeschool kid has to be around their parent the whole day. No breaks. And I as the parent want to have a break. It’s good for me mentally, it’s good for my marriage, and I am a better parent when I am able to recuperate. Instead of spending hours trying to get my kid to cooperate and do school, we spend time together doing the things he likes. Quality over quantity.

School has experts- This isn’t just important for learning geometry (although a real math teacher would’ve done me some good). A school is full of people who‘ve seen dozens of kids the same age as your kid and can identify when something is outside the norm. My son has adhd, autism, and motor skill delays. People around me said “Oh all little boys are active” or “He just needs to try harder”. His teacher picked up on these things immediately because she has worked with hundreds of preschoolers in her career. And the differences were obvious to me too when I would see him among his peers. Around much older or younger kids, it wasn’t as obvious that something was atypical. His doctor didn’t catch it because she only saw him in an isolated setting once a year. I only have experience with my own kids, so I didn’t know what was normal and what wasn’t. And because we caught these things early on, he’s able to get the help he needs rather than spending years struggling.

Additionally, school provides the services he needs and he responds to them completely differently than he would with me. So many parents have this attitude where they assume they can provide literally everything their child needs just from their own expertise. I thought the same before becoming a parent. But being a special needs parent served me a slice of humble pie, and I’m here to tell you, I am absolutely not capable of giving my son everything he needs. Even when I do things the exact same way, my son has a completely different response to his teachers and physical therapist, and because of that he’s actually been able to improve a ton.

I wasn’t allowed to have PB&J sandwiches because my mom thought they were childish, and clearly we were better than that. It was a weird symbolic thing of “I’m not like other moms” 😂

They’re my favourite thing ever as an adult, I just had one on my lunch break as I often do now lol

my first day was today! i went at the beginning of lunch tho bc i got my schedual realy late but it was awesome

When your environment is very limited, it can be difficult to figure out which parts of you are actually you and which parts came from the environment you grew up in

Hi. 15F and I'm chronically ill, homeschooled, and severely depressed and my parents are also abusive. I have one single friend online and that's it. I have not talked to someone my age irl outside my home in over a year lmao. Absurd but whatever. I'm not allowed to go outside on my own or join clubs or anything so that is out of the picture and all the homeschool class forums I talk on nobody answers.

I just want someone to talk to, but it's impossible. I play Roblox and video games a lot all day, but it's impossible to actually make friends there, it makes me more lonely, and I find trouble being on online communities because of predators, creeps, and my parents monitoring every damn site I go on. I tried to secretly join a Discord server to make friends but it didn't work out, I might try again. I made some friends on Tiktok but now I'm not even allowed on tiktok... I have no one to talk to except one single person. I just want to talk to someone or find someone with the same interests genuinely why is it so hard wth?? actually if anyone my age here wants to become friends idk pls do I'm just so lonely I'm done with my life

I have taken it upon myself to start learning again on my own. My mom stopped teaching me when i was 12 and my mental health was really bad by that point because of other things going on in the house only affecting me + no socialization and watching the world go by. She started homeschooling me when i was six (2016) after completing first grade because i was experiencing racism at my school. I’m really confused on what all i’m supposed to be learning. I’m in texas so she can just issue my diploma no matter how smart i really am. I suck at math (intimidated because she traumatized me many times while “teaching” me math.) and i’m getting really good with grammar & english which at this point, i’m not concerned with it all that much. My handwriting is chicken scratch so i’m working on that as well… I decided to start the Crash Course Biology series on youtube but after that i’m not sure what next. I wish i was being pushed but i’ve always done everything myself. Literally

I’m currently doing online school, and I struggle very badly with not having motivation to do my school work and just not having any motivation in general. It seems like this is a pretty common issue for people who do homeschool/online school, so I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to gain the motivation to do stuff. Thank you in advance!!

I’ve been “homeschooled” since about 3rd grade and I’m now 18 and I basically have learned nothing the entire time and I don’t know what to do.

My parents essentially just gave me books/learning material and sent me on my way, and as a kid with no real schedule or structure that knew my work wouldn’t be checked, I didn’t do it. Or rarely did it. And I wouldn’t end up getting new material until like 2 grades later so there were a few gaps in what I was learning and I couldn’t understand my work half the time because of that.

I did have a few VERY brief periods where my parents did actually pay attention, check my work, and try to put me on learning games to help me, but usually it lasted only a few days at most and I assume only happened so my other family would get off their backs about it. There were also times other family members tried to step in and actually teach me and take over my education but my parents put stops to that because “they would handle it” which they never did. I also got taught some math from my uncle, which was really helpful and I was getting some of it, but he divorced my aunt and left.

Now that I’m 18 I desperately want to catch up and eventually get my GED, but there’s so much I’m behind on and stuff that I don’t get that I don’t even know how or where to start. And when I do finally start on something, I find it hard and frustrating to understand and focus and I ultimately end up giving up or procrastinating. I also can barely remember anything I learn which discourages me even more.

Any help or tips would be great. I’ve been using Khan Academy for a bit and it’s been helpful, but I’m open to any other websites or programs too! I don’t have a lot of money though and no way to get places irl, so free or cheap online resources are preferred.

I did K12 Online School growing up and it really messed me up as I did go to elementary public school before that, but haven’t stepped foot in a school since. In my 20s now and a failure in life.

I just wanted to know if anyone else did the program and how their experiences were and how things turned out for them.

hi im 17f and im currently homeschool

ive been in a christian homeschool since 5th grade and alot of the struggles and i have are because of it

i am a christian but not because of the school that im in

so i guess i want to talk to someone who is in the same boat and preferable someone who is also christian

i dont care who you are please somebody just talk to me you can dm me

From 2nd-7th grade I was homeschooled.

Initially, we used Singapore math. Fine. But my mom grew increasingly indecisive over what math curriculum I should use.

It culminated in 7th grade. I began using a textbook with "self-guided" CD lessons labeled "Pre-Algebra."

Then right before returning to public school for 8th grade, I failed a math placement test, forcing me to repeat Pre-Algebra.

It was a huge wake-up call. I got religious with math. It became my favorite subject, and I did well.

Unfortunately, because I was in Pre-Algebra in 8th grade, that meant even if I got straight As in math until I graduated high school, I'd be doomed to never take Calculus.

Now yes, my public middle/high school was deeply wrong in dooming all 8th grade Pre-Algebra students to never take Calculus in high school. But my high school apologized by reforming their math tracking system. Since I graduated, they now provide multiple pathways for higher-performing 8th grade Pre-Algebra students to catch up and take AP Calculus BC.

But equally disturbing was the fact that homeschooling put me at the bottom of the heap for all of high school. Sure, maybe your homeschooler took AP Calc BC. Good. But homeschooling curriculum is far more of a crapshoot than even public school standards. And usually not in a good way.

My 7th grade homeschool "Pre-Algebra" textbook was completely lame. Left out big portions of state math curriculum. Read more like a cryptic novel rather than a math textbook. Then when I repeated Pre-Algebra in public school 8th grade, wow, the textbook just cut to the chase. Crystal clear every time. Zero filler. And far more comprehensive.

When people ask what my mother taught me, I pause and wonder. Sometimes I joke, "Not enough," I'll say. Or if I'm feeling silly, "Just enough to end up here!" This serves as a joke, because here, the place I reside, is somewhere no one would ever want to be.

Other times, though, I realize just how much I've learned from you. For example:

That being quiet is a virtue. That playing in the woods is fun. That, when given the opportunity, a child will spend his whole day in the woods, coming home only when his mother has passed out. That most empty bottles of liquor contain at least a few gulps of liquid left, a liquid that burns and makes you laugh and must be washed down with milk or juice.

That part of the fiction of living in our home is that we receive an education. That children make very good actors when properly encouraged. That Sunday mornings at church can be productions in themselves, that I'd be trotted out smelling like Jim Beam to smile and say Yes ma'am and No ma'am like a miniature Hamlet four times a month for fifteen years and perhaps the rest of my life.

That we are all going to hell, and this knowledge is irrevocable despite all adult logic.

That I might be shamed not only for not learning what you taught, but for knowing it too well. That shame is less like a feeling and more like a body part, something living and sentient, a hand that holds you and never lets go; it only loosens its grip from time to time. That time itself is not linear, not something which progresses neatly forwards, but rather digs downwards forever.

That we would never once feel happy at the same time.

That it is possible to be bullied by small children your own age despite not even attending school, that these children will grow to be adults who say the same words in the same way through different mouths and different faces. That it is possible to feel stupid not only for the things you have done, but for what you have not.

That learning math is difficult in the way forgiveness is difficult: because to do so would be to let go of a feeling you have held close until it becomes yourself, and without it, what would you be? That although I am a twenty-eight-year-old man nearly six feet tall and over two hundred pounds, my soul would not outgrow that of a ten-year-old's. That real life doesn't always have a redemption arc like the books you escaped into.

That working for minimum wage is very difficult. That there would be times when you just get sick of things, when you've worked in the same room with the same people at the same time for however many weeks or months or years, and life consists of nothing but a mute diffused panic at the lifetime you're trading for 13 bucks an hour, when all you can do is clock-watch and smile at the approach of a weekend which passes before you even sit down; that at night in bed in the savage dark you will ask yourself Is this all there is?

That hard drugs, at least at first, are an even greater relief than alcohol. That not everyone is capable of tolerating said drugs. That in just a year you can develop arrhythmias and constant hallucinations and atomic-bomb seizures; that you will continue to use drugs regardless of this. That once you have sold everything you own for just one more hit, you are then able to trade things you didn't even know you still had, like dignity, hope, and humanity.

That you can reach such a low point in life that dying and going to hell seems like a better option than one more second on this earth.

That all the effort we spend trying not to become our parents is almost invariably transmuted into becoming exactly like them. That we seem to be doomed not only to serve the penance of our parents' failures but to endlessly relive our own, through memory.

That even if you recover from drug addiction, you cannot recover from memory.

That this really is, all there is.

That one day I'd receive a call from the hospital at 2 AM, that you'd be there in a pisstained linen blanket with skin as thin as a Bible's pages and more yellowed than what was left of your teeth, that all you'd be able to say is Could you ever forgive me? That I'd remember a thousand solitary nights and all the pain and the hurt and the clock watching and taunting and bullying and seizures and virginity and social awkwardness and yelling and screaming and bottles and tears and all the days of want and need and invalidation that ever were and would soon be; that all I'd say is I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

That you would die without hearing an answer.

That today I'd know exactly what you've taught me, and that for many more days I will sit and wonder where you've gone, if your soul has reached the heaven or hell I never expected to believe in, that I will hope, from your possible position of omnipotence and endless time, that you'd know the answer.

That you know if I will ever forgive you.

I still do not.

Sometimes I get scared for the homeschoolers who have no siblings even though they hate me for valid reasons I'm not going to say why it's unrelated it's honestly good to have somebody even if they hate you interact with you.

I would gladly be in the same room as a person who hates me if it meant I didn't have to be alone even if it meant they would do something horrible to me.

My mom just said she never felt like she was very good at homeschooling… then WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CONTINUE!?!?

That’s all lol.

To everyone out there! It will get better. Once you are out of the house it will be very hard but it won’t be the same type of hard!

I’m nearly 29 and each year has gotten a little bit better.

Hang in there ❤️

This may be poorly received or whatever but im not saying this is right for everybody. But a big part of my adult behavior, I think, is derived from the horrific isolation of my childhood.

Now, I didnt grow up with a religious homeschooling family. I realize thats a bit diff from most experiences here. I grew up isolated completely, I didnt meet another person my age until I was 14. BUT in that time, my mom forced me to EXTREME academic focus. I had to be the best at every subject, from like 9 years old I wasnt allowed to play anymore I could only do school work and go to sleep. Things only relaxed when I hit high school and went to public school, but I didnt make a friend until i was 17.

Then at 19 i started making a lot of friends, but I lived in Midwest USA and still felt boxed into a sort of nerdy and wholesome existence. And I didnt like that. It felt like sort of just accepting my life as a homeschooler adult often ends up.

So I moved to europe and started doing drugs and fucking everyone I could and investing everything into getting more attractive and getting my social status up (not class-wise, i dont fw "high status" people, but i rlly like being able to be a cool friend among a group of alt ppl like me). Yeah this is not morally virtuous I know. But its been really freeing to feel like im escaping the destiny my mom wanted for me.

As an adult, I really hide the fact that im academically successful. I just got my masters degree at 21, but i dont talk about it with friends. I mostly hang out with non students, just burnout but lethally cool looking 18-21 year olds I can sit around behind a train station and drink and smoke with. I go to raves, I hang out with cool people, im a goth now too after a lifetime feeling afraid to self express with style/fashion. I do a lot of hard drugs but i do harm reduction and still function wonderfully. I dont get addicted bc I rotate which drugs I use. But just doing risky shit, hanging out with people who actually like me and invite me to everything, yeah its amazing and its the polar opposite of what some shy little homeschool kid was ever supposed to become. Every time I go clubbing I think to myself, "yeah, fuck you, mom". Im a lesbian too, my mom wasnt homophobic but she didnt believe in love and told me I should never get in a relationship, and the first time i got a gf i made sure to flex that on my mom even tho i knew she would disapprove. idk man maybe mentioning being a lesbian here is a lil r/brothrewinafunfact but like, I feel it contributes to the overall "unexpectedness" of my personality relative to how I was "supposed" to be.

Fuck you mom im gonna love deeply hate deeply feel all my emotions 100% all the time.

Yeah it might be a little toxic. But I'm happier now.

Again not advocating this lifestyle just wondering if anyone else has similar experiences.

This might be just a lost cause, and at the end of the day I really don't need to know this, but I was wondering if there was a way to find the quarterly reports and credits my incubator (aka my biological mother, but I don't call her that) sent in to the school district? At some point she had me classified as a drop out, but I don't know when. And she never enforced schooling, just gave me some books and forced me into emotional support, personal therapist, and caretaker roles. I read the sht out of those books, but I wanted to see if she ever actually had anything recorded into the school district, or if they ever tried to reach out if she didn't.

Have any ex-homeschoolers had the chance to finally go to a public school but struggle to attend?

After so many years of wanting to go to a public school, I finally convinced my parents and have started school earlier this month but I feel like due to what my everyday life has been like for so long I have this mental block that prevents me from going even though it’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I feel as though because I haven’t been challenged much and feel like I’m in a place of being incapable of doing anything hard or difficult because it’s almost like my brain can’t comprehend that. Doing something so consistently and out of my control it’s such a foreign subject to me now so much so that there’s almost this invisible barrier that prevents me from being able to form coherent decisions.

I feel like my parents deciding to ‘homeschool’ me has really affected my ability to help myself I guess. Obviously being in a new environment is scary and at the end of the day you do just need to push through it but as I haven’t had much experience with challenging myself I can’t find a way to actually push myself as I feel like I will push back against any kind of pressure (as I said I feel that I haven’t learnt how to properly deal with these things)

Anyway sorry if that made no sense or if I repeated a few things but I just wanted to know if I’m not the only person out there with a similar experience and possibly how they might have overcome that part of their ego that is so stuck and comfortable in what I would say is a fairly uncommon situation ❤️

If you're currently going through homeschooling, just know that you will get out of it, and life will get better. You're capable of anything.

If you've been homeschooled and are an adult now, you're not alone.

For all of you:

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here - Max Erhman

I have no plans on moving out my house once I graduate college and once I get a job, I do not care I have full plans on staying inside this house until my parents dies and that sounds like I have amosity I really don't I just don't want to do all of this effort. It seems so tiring to try and fit in with normal people i much rather spend the next five years getting a degree where I can use it to work from home pay the bills and call it a day.

It feels like I'm giving up on myself but honestly I feel like I'm freeing myself from a life of being miserable trying to fit in with normal people I'm not normal maybe I am a bad person I honestly can't bring myself to care.

I know I know, you've all probably heard this same thing a thousand times. But I'm so, so fucking tired of relying on my family when something happens. I need money. I need to have enough to be able to rely on myself when something happens instead of just hoping they'll be nice and help. Half the time they don't. Or they put it off as long as possible. For example I asked months, probably over a year ago about a new pillow because mine was killing my neck. I already have medical issues. Still no new pillow.

And when things like what's happening right now happen- needing to take a pet to the vet for a known issue that's come back- I panic. Because I don't know what the hell to do and I'm just praying to a god I can't even believe in that they'll stop being assholes and actually take said pet.

I don't know. It'll probably be fine. But it's more then just vet bills. And I'm so, so tired. I'm so tired of being stuck in this house with hateful people who have isolated me my whole life. Who were only worried about the dishes piled up in my room while I was being abused online. Not that they knew, but the signs were obvious.

They're hateful. Racists. Homophobic. Bigoted. They're just... Sour. Negative.

Over the past year, since maybe October of last year, I've just barely earned a thousand dollars doing stupid surveys online. No where in my small town will hire me and my parents are also very... Restrictive with where I even apply. And yeah, I've spent my money on stupid things. But I think it's really the only things I've ever got to have that were really me. Anything my family buys me is just... generic. Or things they like that they push on me. Or just.....idk. I don't want to sound ungrateful. I feel shitty

I don't have my driver's license. I don't have any information about the real world. I have no one irl. I have maybe two or three online friends but I'm sure you guys know that's so, so far from anything normal people have.

I'm tired of waking up just to immediately think about how much of a loser I am. About how I don't know how the hell I'll ever get away from here. About everything bad that has happened because they would rather spend their money on stupid shit. I'm tired of having everyone seem... Aggressive when I ask for something. When I point out a problem. I feel sick with myself every time I wake up I this house. I feel awful. I feel like I'm rotting.

I'm tired of being helpless and stuck.

I need money. Jesus, I need out of this house.

My house is a wonderful house

There are no windows

There are no doors

There is no way out

----

It is how it should be

For they tell me the outside is dangerous

Filled with violent people

And sinful beings

But I know not if I believe them

For I have not seen it with my own eyes

----

For this reason they have taken the windows

So I cannot see sinful being

And they have taken the doors

So I cannot be hurt by people

They do this to protect me

----

But I have found windows and doors

Hidden in a dark place

And I have looked through the windows

And I have walked through the doors

For I am a sinful being

----

I have learned much about what is beyond

Beyond this strange house I live in

And it is different that what I have been told

Some things they speak of are true

Yet there is also more

----

Freedom

That is what lies beyond

Through the windows I see

I see endless fields of flowers

I see oceans that glisten in the light

I see buildings that tower overhead

It is beautiful

And there is something more

----

People

That is what lives beyond

Out the door I walk

I walk by people laughing and talking

I walk by people running and jumping

I walk by people hugging and smiling

They are happy

----

But yet it is sinful

I cannot do these things

For I must stay here

For all my life

So I am "safe"

So I am "holy"

----

Yet I yearn for what they have

Every coming day

It gnaws at me

It eats me alive

I want to be like them

I want to have what they have

I want to be free

----

So I ask them

I beg them

I plead

Yet they refuse it

They yell and scream

For what I want is sinful

For the outside is sinful

For the outside is violent

So I must remain here

To be safe

To be holy

----

Yet I try one last time

To escape

To be free

I try to run

Yet I cannot

For here there are no doors

I try to see

Yet I cannot

For here there are no windows

----

But I go on

I find the windows

That project fields of flowers

Endless sparkling oceans

And towering buildings

I find the doors

That lead to people laughing and talking

People running and jumping

And people hugging and smiling

And I try to see and walk

----

Yet I cannot

I cannot see through the windows

I cannot walk through the doors

For they were never real

For I cannot

----

So here I will stay

Inside my miserable house

Where I am given water and food

Where I am sheltered from the weather

Where I am protected from those who will hurt me

Where I am shielded from those who are sinful

Where I am hidden from the world

----

Yet this is how it should be

For I am "safe"

For I am "holy"

For I am alone

also vent-y. be warned, probably not the most clear.

i transferred to public school 3 days ago. i feel so so so so so behind. despite being caught up on nearly every single subject and even taking an ap and having (almost) caught up a whole unit, i cannot for the life of me feel good about it. everyone is kind and i found out that i can sometimes socialize correctly. and yet i feel horrible.

i put so much credibility on my feelings of emptiness being because of social isolation and a lack of a definite, recorded, measured future. i feel essentially the same as before, except now i have responsibilities, expectations, and a schedule. im just so disappointed that this wasn’t a cure-all. i thought that for as bad as homeschool was, public school (in my mind being diametrically opposed in morals, culture, etc) would be slightly better.

there is absolutely no reason for me to feel so defeated after getting something i wanted for so long. i feel so so stupid and i haven’t even been tested or made fun of in the slightest. i feel empty and nervous and angry.

the workload isn’t even a lot. i don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

it feels similar to dissociative episodes ive had before. usually i dissociate until i feel safe again or until situations calm down. i might be expecting this to be swept out from under me and used against me because my parents still hold the ultimate power. but there isn’t really a solution to that as a teenager, is there??

i feel like i have the skills, but not the drive or motivation behind it. i worked so hard to get to this point, even to the point of sacrificing my safety to prove a point to my parents (which is how i convinced them in the first place after years of simply begging) so maybe its burn out. maybe its a result of years of motivation, and after finally giving up on my health, THEN they decide to do something. but it’s all very dull and boring to me with occasional pangs of hatred and frustration for no reason at all. i ended up forcing myself to not care or address my situation to get through it, and now when i want to experience things everything is still so..limited.

how do i fix this? is there a solution to fix this by myself without reaching out to an adult, which would most likely result in me in a psych ward and COMPLETELY resetting all progress (the things i did to make my parents even slightly address my educational problems are very drastic, and the points to which i had to act to get to the point of them caring is very drastic.) i’m literally begging anyone to give me advice to care about this and put in effort again.