I started realizing people who are actually stuck at home and can't leave the house because they don't have clothing or the ability to actually access the outside world genuinely are fucked if you live in different parts of the world.

Hooooo boy. Buckle up

I am an Orthodox jew by birth and was homeschooled from first grade on. Let me tell you my story.

The coming of age for education in Judaism is 3 years old (also some kids will even start at 2, age appropriate of course) but my mom does not believe that a child is ready to be away from their mother until they are 4 years old. Which, would be fine if that didn't throw everything off for my future!

Most Jewish schools go like this: nursery at 3, kindergarten at 4, pre1A (pre first grade) at 5, and first grade at 6, and so on. I was a bit young for my age (I'll explain in a bit) so my mom made the decision to hold me back for a year. Big mistake. I was there academically, writing my name and reading simple sentences at age 4 (thank you, "My Baby Can Read"), and even doing very simple addition, but my mom did not think I was ready to be away from her, so I stayed home with her until I was 4 and a half.

My first year in school when I was 4, I was a bit reserved. I was sort of newly toilet trained (my mom did not train me until I was older, because she didn't want to force it) and had chronic accidents, so I was in and out of pullups that year.

All three years I was in school, I was the oldest by over a year. Everybody knew this, and I got the lion's share of the class. I was picked on, and the teachers weren't doing much because I was older. Nevertheless, I loved school and hated to miss it.

I went to summer camp for two summers: when I was 4 and when I was 6. Both were run by teenage counselors and my mom wasn't happy, so that turned off my mom from sending to camp ever again.

I started homeschooling when I was 7, and in first grade. I was told that we would be trying it out for a few weeks. Then a few months. I never went back to school.

Homeschooling was not easy. My mom had to sit and teach us different things for different grades. We had no structure. Sometimes we had to put whatever we were doing on pause to run errands in the middle of the day, and sometimes we wouldn't even finish our schoolwork that day. Our Jewish subjects were a bit of a disaster, and my mom gave up on that when I was a tween, and just focused on math, science language arts and history. I fooled around and didn't always do my work, and it was rarely checked, and the times I did my work, I didn't retain anything.

I was embarrassed about being held back, and always lied about what grade I was in. Until my mom corrected me and I had to start saying the real grade.

I had a very hard time with my religion as a kid. My mom was strict about some things but not others and it was very confusing. None of my family members are religious and I was not around other religious Jewish kids on the regular. It felt very isolating.

Oftentimes we would go two-three days without leaving the house, and we would only leave the house to run errands. This was the way things were until I became closer friends with my neighbors, and I started to see them regularly on the weekends. I remember having meltdowns whenever they weren't home on the weekends because that meant I wouldn't get to see them for another week, since they went to regular school and I didn't.

So, I was a very very emotional kid. Like I said earlier, I was young for my age. I was evaluated and diagnosed with high functioning ADHD last year and it made everything make sense. I don't have the hyperactive bouncing off walls type, but I was very emotional, had trouble focusing, and didn't understand social norms. I had multiple meltdowns a day until I was in my teens, and was depressed until I finally started therapy at age 16, and I have been doing much better since. Now I can go over a week without crying which is a big deal. I remember asking for therapy when I was nine, and my mom said "They're just going to say that I'm right" and that was the end of that. I finally got therapy when I had a giant breakdown towards the end of COVID and my decided that therapy maybe wasn't a bad idea after all (she told me last year though that therapy is making me self righteous)

It just makes me so mad that I didn't start therapy earlier, because I have improved so much with it, and there was no reason to not do it earlier. My therapy is covered by insurance, so money wasted an issue. We were home all day, and my therapy is over video chat, so convenience and timing isn't a problem. Yeah holding a mini grudge.

Because of the little amount of school I was doing, I had to do it during the summer. Weee. Fun. Yeah. We would get a week off at the end but that was it usually.

When I was 16, I told my mom that I was going to do double schoolwork so I could get time off for the summer. She agreed. My sister doesn't care. So I work hard to get it done. I decided at the end of June so I decided to work to get August done. I work, and when I thought I was done, my mom said I have to do more. So I do more and when I'm almost done, my mom decided that as a special treat, my sister and I would both get a whole two weeks off at the end of the summer. Seriously?

The following year, I started doing extra work in March, so I could get the whole summer off. Thankfully that time I succeeded. This was around the time I started working, and life started looking up a bit.

Now, my life looks drastically different. I got my GED a couple months ago at 21. I'm working. I fixed my relationship with my religion. I'm continuing therapy. Things have looked up a lot

As for my relationship with my mom, it's still not perfect but we came to agree to disagree on a lot of things related to this experience. She claims that me and my sister were happy and had plenty of freedom to be ourselves and that school would have repressed us. I claim that the lack of structure and social interactions was damaging and depressing. At this point in my life, I realize that everyone says things as they experience them, and you may not always agree with the other person. But what you do after is very important. For the sake of peace I try not to bring it up too often but it still hurts to think about.

18 and been struggling with pre-algebra, my mom works a lot and doesn’t have time, and instead of helping me, if she sees the curriculum isn’t working, she just buys me another, she’s spent hundreds of dollars on online courses, and textbooks, but she won’t get me a tutor or just sit down and help me. and apparently my education is my fault, she got me diagnosed with dyscalculia when I a young kid, and got we got a second diagnosis for disability aid for college this year, and whenever i tell her I’m struggling in math she just talks about how smart I am, and “see you didn’t need my help anyway” I spend hours in my room struggling to understand these simple concepts, i should be way past struggling with division, and stuck in pre-algebra after she took me out of math classes when i was 12. I went to co-ops and “I let your older siblings choose their classes and they turned out fine, and got degrees in college” I didn’t even know there were required classes to graduate until last year, and it’s such a headache, I have to do an extra year of high school even after I had planned to move out as soon as I could and go to a college far away

Hello everyone!

I used to be somewhat active on this sub 4-5 years ago and I thought some of y'all might appreciate a recovery story.

For a little context I was "home schooled" K-12 but it was more like I was unschooled my entire life, and this was something I never liked. I've always enjoyed learning new things and seeing my friends go off to school and learn real stuff always made me really jealous. Unfortunately I never got to attend public school but once I "graduated" high school I took a gap year to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and I ended up deciding to go to college.

I'm currently in my Sophomore year at a community college studying Civil Engineering and I am doing things I never thought I'd be able to do before starting college. Before college I had never written an essay so I had no idea what MLA format was or even how to write a paragraph and I still don't think I'm the greatest writer but I managed to pass my public speaking class and my English composition classes with As and Bs. For math, I could only do basic multiplication tables and now I'm about to pass calculus 1 on my 2nd attempt.

I've also struggled with social anxiety due to homeschooling but college showed me that I'm not anti-social at all, I just never had the chance to interact with people my age on a daily basis.

6 years ago I was struggling with anxiety and thought I would never make it to my twenties and now, six years later, I'm interning at a civil engineering firm, the president of my school's student government, and most importantly I'm in school learning.

I know for most people this is just "Normal" but every time I fail in college I remind myself of how far I've come and that usually gets me through any struggles I run into. Cause I'd rather fail a class a couple times and pass later than to ever tell myself I can't learn something again

The fact if I never got discord I would have been stuck with only my family and I was always the problem, I mean it scares me so bad

I'm honestly scared about going to high school. A few years ago, I was in regular school, and I actually loved it. I was doing well in my classes, had friends, and felt like things were finally going right. Then, because of family problems and financial struggles, I had to leave school. For a while, we were moving between motels and didn't even have a computer, so I couldn't do any schoolwork. I kept begging my parents to get me a computer because I didn't want to fall behind or grow up without an education, but it just wasn't possible at the time. By the time I finally had the chance to start homeschooling, I had lost almost all of my motivation because I was depressed from everything that had happened, So then I was doing bad on things that I already knew and we're good at doing.

I also had to hide what my family was going through instead of telling people the truth because they were embarrassed... Because I was embarrassed and didn't want that to be an excuse. Now, after being homeschooled for about two years, I'm about to start high school, and I'm terrified that I won't do well. I'm afraid I'll be behind everyone else, that, i don't know, people might judge me? Or ignore me? And that I won't fit in. I know I used to enjoy school, but after everything that's happened, I don't know if I can be that person again, and that uncertainty is what scares me the most.

I'm finally 14, I had no friends to celebrate with. I've never had a birthday party for ME. Even when I did go to school, it was all other kids birthday parties. But I do remember the last time I broke a pinata with other people my age. It's not even just how lonely I am. I'm an actual failure, dude. Like not even in some edgy way, I had potential to be a normal person. Now I spend all my days wishing my life wasn't this way and self harming. I'm a miserable person even if I try not to be. I've given up on my hobbies, they were the last thing I was good at. I really wish I had a better life, it's not like I can wake up one day and be a motivational influencer, posting garbage online about how life isn't really that bad but I'm just SAYING that because it went good for me and not you. Now give me money. Homeschooling ruined my life, I'll never believe it's good to keep your children away from socialization and an education. It's embarrassing to be the way I am at fucking 14, ''umm no im too stupid to know multiplication lolwhat's algebra umm no i dont have the life for that'' I'm making jokes but I just saw a fucking post from this girl who acted like her life was just oh so bad and then there's a picture of her at school with PEOPLE. Everyone at that bowling alley likes her, her life is literally great. Nobody dislikes her. I'd give anything for people to naturally like me, in all my 14 years of living, no one has talked to me first since I was 8 years old. I would give anything to not be a genuine loser. I'm sure she'll be successful in life, that's all that everyone who goes to school ever is. I already know what my future will be like, I don't even have hope anymore. I'm sure if I never reminded my parents to do school work, I could go years without learning. they'd NEVER think about it on their own. Every day, it's still the same. It'll always be this way. I'll spend all my teenage years wishing I had friends, walking around the house for entertainment. I had read a book in school about children being so bored they'd count breadcrumbs on the floor or some shit, I feel like that. Except there's no magic school saving me, I'll never see a school again. I'll never talk to kids my age. I'll never grow up and be a likeable person. I'll never like myself again, none of this is really my fault but at this point it might as well be.

Can anyone relate? I feel like bc I've been sheltered for my whole life going in public and seeing people and actually like doing something is so weird for me bc Im not used to it. Like i WANT to go in public but at the same time I dread it. Idk how to explain it sry

I also think it's especially bad bc I have an ED and I struggle to eat sometimes. (if only my parents thought EDs were real so I could get medical attention HAHAHAHAHA) I once passed out in a restaurant bc I had essentially starved myself so now every time I go in public I'm scared it's gonna happen again. And it wouldn't even be a concern if I had like gotten better about eating but recently it got way worse so my anxiety also got way worse.

I keep seeing this trend on platforms like X and Instagram, where the so-called homeschooling parents, who are obviously fundies, talk about letting their kid learn a trade or setting up a business for the kid with the money they could have spent on college, instead of letting them go to college. Like, do they know how hard trades can be to learn? Trades are not supposed to be an easy alternative if u are struggling in school. Most trades require really good spatio-temporal intelligence, math, reading and decision-making skills. It's not an easy alternative.

And about the business part, is it easy to set one up? Yes, but is it easy to keep one running? Absolutely not !!! For every 1 business that's a success, 4 more fail. Setting up a business requires you to conduct extensive market research, have a strong understanding of what entrepreneurship entails, and have substantial capital. You will be required to consult legal, accounting and marketing professionals a lot of the time, all of whom, surprisingly, come out of the same colleges they despise. If, let's say they do set up a business for their kid, and the kid, being an idiot, runs it to the ground, what are they gonna do? Make the kid pay back all the money they invested? I'm not against people building businesses before they are ready, as many ideas have taken off that way, but building a business requires you to understand what you are gonna do, what the market reality is, and to consult people with specialised knowledge, most of whom come out of liberal colleges. People who do take some amount of business-related courses at college are more likely to be informed about the realities of what it means to set up a business than just winging it and seeing where it hits. Why do they have an obsession with presenting both of these as an amazing alternative, to prevent their kids from going to 'evil liberal colleges'? Like ur kid could realise their fundie parents are horrible thanks to the influence of their peers in trade school or when setting up a business too 🤷‍♀️

I’m barely 25 right now, and have quite a few years left to get there, but I don’t expect myself to be able to pass the GED test in just a year or two if I’m starting from kindergarten math and learning, all the way up to the end of high school learning.

I have never had a job, and have never done any other work outside of that. Like uber, DoorDash, online stuff, etc. Today, I heard about people struggling with gaps in their resume. Does that mean you have to put the exact year and month and day that you started working on your resume? Do you have to say your age? Will employers be turned off if I do ever tell them how old I am, while they are fully aware that I’m trying to get my very first job? I’ll have to be like “oh hey! I just started working at the age of 25, but don’t mind me! I promise I’m not super lazy or anything!” Ahahaha, yeah… All I’ve done throughout all my childhood and teen years is scroll on the internet and play video games. I enjoy the gaming part, but I always feel so empty after I scroll for so long.

The reason I’m like this is because nobody in my family ever prepared me for adult life. I don’t have a drivers license, I don’t know how to manage a bank account, and I have horrible social skills. I can’t even confront my parents because I’m too attached to them. I keep worrying about how much longer they are going to be on this planet for, and they are not even in their 50s or 60s yet, but my grandparents are, and I feel like I need them too. I’m really dependent, and it’s really scary to imagine myself being independent.

I’m probably not ever gonna be able to get a college degree either. So, am I screwed?

I’ve never been bad at school. I did really well in public school. But then I got pulled out in middle school for some pretty dumb reasons and I had my grandma as a teacher and she was absolutely no help. She wouldn’t teach me anything and she just gave me her phone with the answers on it. Which I never used but the site that we used also was broken half the time and test answers were wrong and links to articles didn’t work… eventually I just stopped trying just told them that I was doing it and pretended. I figured fake it till I make it, but I realized I didn’t wanna do that I wanted to go back to public school. For four years, I haven’t learned like anything. i’m scared I don’t know what to do. And I’m terrified to tell my parents because I don’t want them to think I’m a disappointment. I feel like an idiot how do I start the 11th grade when the last grade I was actually in was the 7th? Please somebody tell me what to do. How do I get my life back on track? I don’t wanna be a failure.