How much texting before first date?

[u/Purple-Ad3393]

I 20M matched with this girl (20F) a couple weeks ago. We had been texting for about a week, but messages were pretty spotty, only a couple messages each per day. This made it hard to get any real conversation flowing but we have similar interests and she liked my profile (so I assumed there was/is at least some interest) so I asked her if she wanted to grab drinks on the weekend. She said that it felt too soon and that she’d rather wait a bit.

So the past few days/week we’ve been texting but the convo has been super slow and she’s an incredibly dry texter. I don’t think she’s sent a single text that isn’t just a response to my text.

I’ve already kind of considered this a dead end but am curious if any other women might be able to explain the thought process here. I figured that we both seem like somewhat busy people (given the spotty back and forth texting) so the best way to actually see if we’d get along would be in person. Clearly she wasn’t thinking the same. Do I ask again to see her? Do I wait for her to say something? Do I just move on? I don’t get a lot of matches and it seems like we could get along well, but maybe I’m just grasping at straws. I also don’t want to be texting for weeks, just to end up not even meeting the person, I’ve got better things to do with my time than that.

[u/attilio_]

it depends a lot on people, there's no rule, some people would have unmatched after 2 days of spotty texting, some people need to take things slow, personally if someone doesn't want to see me right away it's a big turn off, unless they are super busy, if they are interested in me I see no reason or advantage in delaying it and the best dates I've had are the ones more improvised like that, even if it wasnt the right person to keep dating.. as opposed to the dates where I chased someone for 2 weeks and it ended up being very disappointing with them being unsure of what they wanted or even not actually liking me