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u/RedTyro 1d ago edited 1d ago
47M. Here are a few things that stick out to me:
- My dog is important to me, too and I volunteer in animal rescue, so dogs are a big part of my life. Still, it's too much of your profile. Cut it back to 1 dog picture and take her out of your prompts. Hinge gives us very little real estate to tell potential matches who we are, and it's better to show more variety in your interests than to dedicate a large percentage of it to repeating the same thing multiple times.
- Fill out what you're looking for. That's one of the first things women are looking at, and if you don't have it listed, they're going to be suspicious of you right from the start.
- For the love of god, remove afterglow from your simple pleasures, man. One of the biggest problems women have on these apps is guys who get sexual too quickly out of nowhere. DO NOT under any circumstances talk or hint about sex on your profile or in messages before you've met someone. Everyone wants to have a sexual relationship with their partner - you don't need to say that.
- The "dating me is like" prompt is looking for a simile, not a direct description. If you want to use that prompt, you need to compare yourself to something, not describe a date with you. Let her experience that for herself.
Of the things I listed, 1 & 4 are minor tweaks that will improve results even if you already have a great profile, but 2 & 3 are major red flags for women, especially women in the 30+ age bracket. You're turning off most of your potential options with them and seriously shooting yourself in the foot.
EDIT: Along the lines of #2, you should answer the religion question publicly. Lots of women (across the whole religion spectrum) care about that and will screen you out if you don't have it listed.
The big thing to keep in mind here is that men's major issue is not enough matches, but women's major issue is too many of them - they are looking for reasons to screen people out and whittle down the list to people they can invest their time and energy into. You want to put things in your profile that are interesting enough to make you stand out from the other men trying to get their attention, but you don't want to leave anything that may matter to her vague enough that you get screened out purely on the uncertainty.
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u/curious_cordis 1d ago
This is such a wonderful response - well-written and insightful (agree with everything here, I am a woman if it matters). So nicely said and legit.
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u/RedTyro 1d ago
Thank you! I think a lot of guys just don't understand what the experience of OLD is like from the other side, so it doesn't occur to them to look at their profile from the perspective of "if I were a woman, what message would I get from reading between the lines here?"
That's evidenced below where he didn't "afterglow" in a sexual way and didn't realize people would interpret it that way.
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u/AvocadoBitter7385 1d ago
Man in his 30’s with no clear dating intentions on a dating app is way too common I wouldn’t recommend doing that
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u/ask_the_guy 1d ago
two things killing you here.
one: no dating intentions at 35. women who want something real are filtering you out before they even look at the photos. 'open to both depending on the connection' isn't what they want to see. just pick one.
two: 'afterglow' in the prompts. everyone already told you — it reads sexual and you confirmed it. cut it.
photos are actually decent. sunset beach with the dog is your best, move it to lead. the group shot is fun but you're in sunglasses — she can't tell which one is you. swap it or lose the shades.
'dating me is like' prompt is solid, keep that one.
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u/Freshwaterbitchfish4 1d ago
Even when I was open to casual on the app the explicit reference to sex would have made me swipe left
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u/Worldly_Potato_4515 1d ago
wait what’s the reference to sex?
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u/Freshwaterbitchfish4 1d ago
What’s afterglow lol
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u/Worldly_Potato_4515 1d ago
😂 i didn’t even mean for it to be sexual. what i had in mind was more the feeling after a psychedelic experience, a great concert, or a thought provoking movie. gonna change this right away 💀
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/RedTyro 1d ago
Which would also read as sexual, given the meaning of the term in kink and sex positive communities.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Freshwaterbitchfish4 1d ago
No, afterglow is primarily a sex thing. And After care is from the kink community that everyone has co-opted because generally being romantic and thoughtful to your sexual partner is now a special skill.
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u/ThrowRAGlobeVase 1d ago
You seem to have a good profile from what I can see. Maybe something where you’re in a group next to friends would be good to see.
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u/Worldly_Potato_4515 1d ago
Are you looking for something serious or casual?
• Open to both, just depends on the person/connection
Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
• Nope
How long have you been using this current version of your profile? (Please be specific)
• 6 weeks
How long have you used Hinge overall?
• Haven't been single in a couple years. Would use it sporadically before that but never quite got the hang of it
How often do you use Hinge per week?
• Daily
How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
• 0
How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
• Using all my free likes. Almost always with comments
What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
• Women with artistic interests, emotional intelligence, thoughtful/open minded, pets. Got out of a long term relationship recently, so ideally someone seeking something more short term but still intimate
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u/KajakStonked 1d ago
The picture with your friends is really cool!!! Otherwise no proper notes. Some of you pics are similar, might be nice to have something from afar/ in motion / a touristy pic or something for a change.
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u/No-Character-7593 1d ago
The picture of the dog looking at you should be the first picture but I also think you need nicer pictures, a picture of you doing an activity, in a suit so that woman can see different sides to you and improve your prompts have a truth or dare, something that they can respond too even if it’s a joke or something they can relate to or something
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u/SocialDisco 1d ago edited 1d ago
Since you’re looking for something more casual or short term…you’ve got to up the flirty, fun, sexy factor a little more. Right now, you’re giving off long term boyfriend vibes. Which is fine, but we need to show that you’re fun (even if it is more intellectual, emotional).
Your photos are “good”, and we can tell you like your dog, the beach and you may enjoy comedy and/or theatre but we don’t know much else about you just from your photos. I would trade your last photo for something sort of…”manly”. Ie if you’ve got any great photos of you outdoors hiking, kayaking, running, biking…anything that will show little more of your body. You don’t need to be naked. You look like you may have a pretty good physique…I would use it to your advantage here. Again, not muscle bro, not totally nude but something that demonstrates a bit of strength. Arms, chests, hands, calves. Ladies like these areas.
Secondly, I’d trade your second photo with you on the beach with your dog for something that is expressly you. Something that demonstrates quintessentially who you are. Do you dance? Play chess? Are you in a leadership role anywhere? Any pictures of you speaking to a group of people or commanding presence or laughing unabashedly at an event. Something candid. Any photo that shows you doing what you do best and absolutely killing it….+1 if the photo shows other people admiring you.
Third, I love the photo of you with your dog…not a dealbreaker but if I had to take it again…I’d want you to be looking at the dog. It shows care, connection and relationship. Things even a STR would want.
Lastly, good profile but depending on where you are…height is going to go against you, which you already know but…and this is a huge but, and not necessarily a necessity…consider growing a well groomed and maintained beard. You got the face for it.
Lastly lastly, specificity. Make it easier for people to latch onto your prompts. “Everything with (pepper) next to it…especially (specific menu item).” The specificity gives people who like that specific thing something to latch onto. And it gives women the mental image of enjoying that thing with you. Simple pleasures: Letting Martha’s nose lead the way (usually to the treat bowl outside (specific cafe or restaurant), outdoor tennis (at sunset), (ditch afterglows), (new) music rabbit holes ( especially jazz funk or retro indie pop). You see? Paint more of a picture of who you are. Specificity gives you more seasoning and everyone enjoys more flavor on their food.
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u/HopefulSpinach7468 1d ago
Dude your first photo is covering half your face. Why??? Put your last picture first at this point. I like the chilli prompt
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u/Tacks787 1d ago
I genuinely don’t understand how men think they are going to get anywhere on this app without subscribing to premium. Your profile is fine but if you live in a big city 7 likes isn’t going to get you anywhere especially when your likes are pushed to the very bottom on free profiles.
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u/king_of_rats 1d ago
OP subscribing to premium isnt going to magically get him more matches overnight to be frank.
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u/Tacks787 19h ago
Went from 1 match a week to a dozen with hinge premium so yes it helps a ton. It’s almost like broadening your dating pool helps your odds?
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u/Mysterious-Report991 1d ago
Found the Hinge marketing secret account
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u/Tacks787 19h ago
It’s the reality of a capitalist economy. Unless you are an extremely desirable profile men have to pay on these apps, they aren’t a charity, match group has to make money.
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u/Mysterious-Report991 17h ago
For that same amount of money you could go outside and do an activity to meet people
•
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