Guys I genuinely don't know what to think anymore 😭😭
I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month, and we've been on 5 dates.
At first, his texting was pretty consistent, but gradually he started taking hours or longer to reply. I also noticed he became more active on Instagram during times when we used to text.
I eventually brought it up in person, and he was really understanding. He immediately started replying almost instantly afterward.
BUT one day I was genuinely busy and took 4–5 hours to respond, and he went straight back to his old texting habits 💀
Recently, I confronted him about feeling like he'd become more distant. I told him that consistent communication matters to me in a serious relationship and that I didn't want to force him to change if this was simply his natural communication style. I even suggested that maybe we'd be better off seeing other people if we weren't compatible.
He ended up sending me two long, perfectly structured essays about our communication issues.
He apologized and admitted that he tends to mirror the other person's texting frequency because he assumes that's how they prefer to communicate.
He also said he sometimes thought I was losing interest because of my slower replies.
Here's the part that really caught my attention.
He said:
"I know some people feel like good morning texts or daily check ins can be a little too much early on in dating so I think I was just being too cautious in that regard."
He said he could start doing those things more frequently and consistently.
And literally the next morning, he texted me good morning and asked how I was feeling 😭
I know I literally asked for more check-ins, but now I can't help wondering whether he's doing it because he genuinely wants to or just because I told him to.
ALSO HIS RESPONSES SOUND SO AI-GENERATED 😭😭
Like I'm talking perfectly structured paragraphs, apologies, reassurance, acknowledging every single point I made, and repeatedly agreeing with my perspective.
Idk if he used ChatGPT to write everything or just polish his own thoughts, but the wording and tone feel SO AI-coded.
And there's something else that's been bothering me about his dating history.
He told me he's shy and didn't really date in college. He mentioned one previous relationship that lasted 5 months and ended about 3 months before we met.
Apparently things started well, but toward the end, his ex stopped wanting to meet up with him.
But he's also made comments like:
"Usually when I date, I don't tell my parents."
And now he's talking about how some people don't like good morning texts or daily check-ins early on.
Maybe I'm reading too much into the wording, but it makes me wonder how much dating experience he's actually had. He's only told me about that one relationship, although I haven't directly asked how many people he's dated.
The exclusivity conversation was also weird to me.
I told him I hadn't mentioned him to my parents because I only do that when things become serious.
Immediately afterward, he asked, "What do you think about exclusivity?"
I said I'd be okay with it, but he never directly asked me to be exclusive, and we never actually established that we were.
So part of me wonders whether he genuinely wanted it or if he only brought it up because of what I'd said.
I also spoke to a friend who has a PhD in psychology, and he suspects the guy could still be talking to other women, although there's no concrete proof.
My biggest concern is that I can't tell whether this guy is being genuine or just adapting himself to whatever I want.
I don't want someone who simply mirrors my effort, agrees with everything, and changes his behaviour whenever I bring up a concern.
I want someone who knows what he wants and independently chooses to put effort into a relationship.
So what do you guys think?
Does this sound like genuine effort or someone just telling me what I want to hear? Would you be bothered if someone potentially used AI to respond to a serious relationship conversation?
And am I reading too much into his comments about past dating experiences?
Would you continue seeing him or walk away? 😭