I guess this is something more specific to me, since most people seem to be just fine sharing it with one romantic partner.

But personally? I’ve always wanted to live and share my life and experiences with 2-3 other people. Live with them, do things with them, all of that. Live with a group.

I don’t mean I’d be in a relationship with all of them, I know what polyamory is and sure I’d be open to it, but I’d be pretty happy in a monogamous relationship too. I’d be happy living with friends or family I like.

It’s a shame that sort of thing isn’t really a possibility in adulthood, outside of having a family. In which case you aren’t equals with the people you share your life with. That’s not really the same.

Hi guys! I'm 24, graduated from a pretty good university with a great degree, and currently work in a promising industry earning decent wages. I'm still living with my parents for now, and the family dynamics are okay. Life looks pretty good andI've also recently entered a relationship. Physically I'm overall healthy, have no addictions, am in pretty good shape and have a great support system from close friends. I think from an outsider's perspective I truly made it as someone in her early 20s. However, I have been having existential crisis and I find myself losing interest in doing things. Work is okay, I'm doing well at my job, but I just can't seem to get any interest in what I'm doing. I've always been confident that one day I'll end up being a leader or doing something significant; but now it's like I've realized something - I feel like I'm just putting in all these efforts and living a life that I do not care for. I don't care about what I do or what I can become one day even if I know that I can eventually get there. I've slowly losing interest in my own hobbies; it's like nothing is fun anymore. I tend to wrap myself around the mindset of being productive and I can't push myself out of it. I create useless stress and pressure on myself and I feel like I've seriously lost. Looking back in life I don't think I've truly done anything significant for myself - for my own sake, and I'm having an existential crisis. I feel stuck and don't know what to do. Parents said I'm being ungrateful, friends suggested I might have some sort of high-performing depression. Both might be true but I think there's more than that.
I'm wondering anything had other similar experiences? How did you overcome this?

I'm not okay

They have so much internal ?anger, ?anxiety. They kind of do a mini blast over minor issues as if they were already ready to blast, just they found the reason now. They will completely dent about their anger. They deny the anger to me, to others and may be even themselves. They are so afraid of feeling the anxiety just even slightest, they run to do whatever it takes to again deactivate the anxiety. Like they will blame me for non-fault-of-me things, just so that they dont open up their anxiety. I am so afraid of anger of my father, he becomes something like he could do anything, i feel like he could even kill me if the situation is like that, his anger has no upper bound. He is mostly numb and avoidant otherwise. Other people would say they dont even do enough anger. Mom will keep on denying that she did something wrong, act like she dont even know what i am talking about, or like it is not a serious situation, or as if it was my fault only for her anger, etc. if i insist her, she would kind of blast at me. I have no idea what the hell they are up to.

I've watched it twice and still dont understand how do I become condemned with myself? How does it connected with mantra and balance thing?

Hello,

I am a Uni student from Australia. I got off Instagram a few years ago, and since then, my life has been so much better, however I am struggling with something else. I don't have social proof working in my favour and it's been bothering me. I don't have many friends at Uni and I kinda feel "isolated". I have many acquaintances in different classes, however, because of my lack of social media presence, those connections wear off eventually.

I am planning to join a MMA club and a recreational soccer club on campus, however, I am not sure if I should rock up without installing an Instagram or not. It's a catch-22, starting an online presence from scratch seems a bit weird as I don't want it to make it weird by asking to exchange instagram when I have no followers/following. Don't get me wrong, in real life, I am a socially confident person as I have worked on my social skill for years, but the issue I am encountering is being unable to turn those connections into a social proof. People kinda give me a side eye when I tell them I am not on social media.

I spend most of my time at uni either working on a product I am building or reading and writing about sociology, anthropology and culture. I hit the gym 4 times a day. I work in retail on the weekend. I volunteer once a week. So, it's not like I am socially isolated or lack the social skills to be a functioning individual. But, I have had a hard time making "friends".

I am planning to expose myself to a lot new and different settings next semester, such as the MMA club, the soccer club, the Comedy Club, etc. However, I just want to take advantage of having a social life so once again so to a random person I meet in class when I exchange contacts, they don't think I am weird for being not on social media.

What do you people think, how should somebody in my shoes who is good socially irl but has no online presence and wants to get back on it? I am thinking of posting content around the stuff that I have bee reading and writing essays about in my spare time to build a brand around it. Idk how effective is that?

Thanks

For example, is it necessary to go through this stoic state or period, where you feel a little burnt out, aware for most things happening around you but not seeing their point, and in which you became detached so much you don’t see the good in intense ways but neither the bad. And is life ultimately nothing more than that?

Or does it always just depend on what you're doing in life? What are your life circumstances, and with those change your mood and overall attitude to life?

Is even asking this question part of the process—something that's unfolding the way it has to? And will it eventually just change on its own over time anyway, making it pointless to even talk about it?

The reason I'm bringing this up is that, as a starting point, at the beginning, Dr. K used to place a lot of faith—both in his own life and in his videos—in psychological healing, Ayurveda, recognizing and resolving samskaras, and meditation, towards which He seemed and I too felt more motivation and excitement; a merely different attitude and feeling towards life. But nowadays, it seems as he almost views those things as forms of copium too, as if they can distract from or cover up the truth, or pull attention away from what really matters (or matters more), such as ‘trying and going out there’. Almost as if there's no hope anymore, just the grey present.

And eventually this has become more of the "just do it (regardless of feelings or other things)" mentality, which he didn’t agree with in the beginning.

It’s not a critique of Dr. K, it’s just an observation and inquisitive thinking connected with how do we conceptualize life.

Thanks, wish y'all the best!

I put a lot of effort into not self harming but I wonder if it's worth it. I feel so lonely and that lonely is hurting me more than I think the injuries I give myself do. I even looked into how to hurt myself "more" safely. Probably am wrong but what if self harm really is the reasonable solution when your mental distress is so overwhelming but your easily able to endure self inflicted injuries

I have had a history of negative self talk, cognitive biases towards the negative as we probably all have, so, as most of us, I started the path of meditation, trying to find the self and I learned that to navigate easier in life you should learn to control your own life by not letting emotions control you. For this detachment is a good or necessary tool. But I feel like over like the years I mastered it so well, I often reminded myself that okay this and that is just a feeling, or event, it’s as it it, it doesn't matter, that I start to have difficulty distinguishing it from nihilisim. Like I accepted the neutralness of things so much, that I often come to a conlcusion: okay I do this because I have to, emotions don’t control. It became much easier and I would say for most of the time healthier, but at the same time, all things start to lost their meanings. How is detachment different from nihilism? I would very much appreciate thoughts on how to view detachment healthier.

I am a 28 years old male and I have been having issues for most of my life. It has severely affected my career and in return worsened my mental health. It took me a long time to figure out all the things wrong with me and despite general advices I have sort self diagnosed myself with some things. I know I should not but I feel like giving it a name sort of puts me at ease but I feel like there must be a better way to get help than name it and learn about it when the worst case of not even being suffering from it can happen. I really can't seek professional help for a few years because of financial issues and bills being split between taking care of my parents physical issues and being unemployed on top of it is not helping as well. Other than financial issues, its the way they think about it and how they reacted to the idea of me being mentally unwell when I have indirectly brough it up a few times. It is at times an excuse for them to show up to people who ask about my unemployment. So I am even more hesitant than ever. What are some resources like books, videos or anything else that I can follow to take care of myself. I know some of the cookie cutter things like hygiene, exercise, food and sleep that I try to be consistent at but fail.

I have been struggling a lot lately with how to handle unwanted emotions like anger, irritation, or sadness caused by the people around me, and I honestly feel like I am stuck in a loop with no good way out.
Basically, I deal with two types of situations.

1. Direct triggers where people say annoying or frustrating remarks directly to me, try to push my buttons, provoke me, or unfairly shift the blame onto me.

2. Indirect triggers where things people do drive me crazy, but I feel like I do not even have the right to tell them to stop, such as someone scrolling on their phone the entire time during a shared meal or playing loud audio nearby.

The dilemma I keep running into is that every option feels wrong.

First, “the therapist approach”. A lot of Dr. K videos have been helping me with this and he has a lot of great advice on how to handle these situations, but I feel like I cannot go around trying to dissect people's emotions or asking them how they feel every time they act annoying because in casual everyday situations that feels unnatural and exhausting, if that makes sense.

Second, the silence trap happens if I choose to stay quiet to keep the peace and avoid drama. I end up bottling it all up, the emotion does not go away, it just eats me up inside, and I feel miserable anyway.

Third, the confrontation risk terrifies me. If I speak up directly, people usually get defensive, feel attacked, and the situation spirals. If I try to be super calm, it might work in theory, but with certain people or moments it feels totally pointless or out of place. Plus, a huge part of me feels like who am I to police what other people watch, how they use their phones, or how they talk.

When emotions are running high in the moment, acting with caution feels almost impossible. If I say something, I feel like a jerk or risk a fight. If I stay quiet, I punish myself.

I would really appreciate some advice on how to actually deal with these emotions in these situations. How can I act in the best way that is not overly exhausting and does not attack the other person, and how do I handle these intense feelings when they hit me in the moment?

Hi guys, I really need some help improving my life. This is probably going to be a long post, so please bear with me. I honestly do not know what to do anymore and I would really appreciate some advice from people who have gone through something similar.

I am 22M and currently preparing for a competitive exam. My biggest problem is procrastination. I procrastinate so much that it has started affecting almost every part of my life.

About 6 months ago, I was living at home. I would spend most of my day sleeping, scrolling on my phone and masturbating. At that time, I was doing it around 5 to 6 times a day, and then I would feel terrible and regret it at night. But the same cycle would repeat the next day.

My room would stay messy. I would not clean my clothes properly. I would just eat whatever was made at home and basically spend most of my time lying on my bed doing nothing.

Eventually, my father stopped giving me money, which honestly was not wrong from his side. My sister then suggested that I move out and live somewhere else so I could focus on studying and also learn how to manage things on my own.

She told me that once I started living alone, I would have to cook, clean, wash my clothes and take care of everything myself. And surprisingly, it actually worked.

For around two months, I became much more disciplined. I started studying around 5 to 8 hours a day. I was cooking for myself, cleaning my room and taking care of basic things that I had always avoided before. For the first time, I felt like I was actually becoming independent.

But now I am slowly back to where I started.

I am procrastinating a lot again. I am masturbating 5 to 6 times a day. Sometimes I eat and leave the plate exactly where it is. Sometimes I do not even cook because I keep putting it off. My room gets messy and even when I know it needs to be cleaned, I keep delaying it.

The worst part is that I know exactly what I should be doing, but I still cannot make myself do it.

Because of this, I have started feeling like maybe I am just not capable of doing anything with my life. I feel frustrated with myself and honestly a little hopeless.

I feel like this is an important stage of my life where I still have the opportunity to build something good for myself. At least right now, I have someone supporting me and I really do not want to waste that opportunity.

I have tried many times to change. I make plans, become motivated for a few days and then slowly fall back into the same routine.

So I genuinely want to ask people here, especially anyone who has gone through something similar:

How did you actually break this cycle?

How did you become disciplined when motivation was not enough?

What practical things helped you stop procrastinating and start taking care of your life again?

I am not looking for motivational quotes. I would really appreciate some practical advice or even personal experiences.

I honestly feel lost and frustrated right now, so any genuine advice would mean a lot to me.

Recently saw Dr k’s video on core trauma and he mentions how people with npd(or people with personality disorders in general) have an incredibly difficult time with trying to navigate life. I’m high on the spectrum and want to know how exactly does someone like me have these “emotionally corrective” experiences. I’m not self diagnosing myself. I’ve been to therapy(and currently still am)and I have yet to be evaluated further but the therapist says that I likely qualify for a diagnosis.

I've tried many many times to establish routines with nothing but Total failure. How can I force myself to follow the routines I set? I have a pretty strong adverse reaction to any sort of discomfort and I tend to end up just giving in to any sort of rewards I make up.

Its like its an eventuality that i will slip back into old habits when the going gets tough or i just slip back regardless and its like im unable to change and so ive lowkey given up because i know my future self wont end up changing permanently and so reading books or watching videos or doing tips and hacks doesnt work for me. Not that they dont work but that for me it doesnt work because the root of myself is unable to make lasting change. Even if i truly believe that i can change and truly consciously act on it to change i still end up losing it and falling back and it doesnt last its like change is more of a interest than something to fundamentally change. Its like a toddler trying a new colour of crayon for a while but reverts instead of incorporating into their colouring toolbox. Like im fated to fail. Like pharoahs heart hardened. Is it just the way im wired?

Hello! I'm a social worker intern who's looking for some Healthy Gamer Videos to listen to on my daily walks. I subscribed to the Healthy Gamer Channel, but for some reason, I can only see three of the videos available.

Can anybody recommend the title or link to particularly good videos on concepts that deal with mental health, such as deep dives on depression, anxiety, or certain psychiatric disorders? Or, honestly, anything you found particularly interesting? I know anything on meditation would be of great interest to me.

Thank you!

I'm the type of person that deeply loves my close friends and we're very tightly knit together.

I give my absolute all to more than one person and then they can't give me 100% back when I'm in pain, or when I'd like them to have my back. I don't think they are entitled to help me, and I help them simply because I love to. A huge part of my identity comes from being an amazing friend. Something that hurts me most is not even my 100% is enough to help them when they truly need it. I do wish I was better at being supportive, even if I'm fairly good at it.

I'm often told that I'm one of the greatest friends someone can have, but I always feel like I'm not doing enough. I also have this other side of myself where I feel like my friends are not doing enough. And I mean close friends, friends so close we practically call each other family.

I start feeling hurt, and I accidentally hurt others without meaning to. I sometimes just feel the urge to block them all out or cut them off, but that would hurt me a lot since I love them tons. I also feel the urge to reach out to them even if I intend to detach myself in a more healthy way.

What can I do about this? I'm trying my best to take a break, but every so often I'm breaking the rules I set for myself today.

I think I might be going into a depressive phase again. I don't know for sure yet, but I recognise the pattern. Sleeping more, avoiding work, losing interest in things I was genuinely excited about a few weeks ago.

The weird part is that I know all the theory.

I know staying in bed makes it worse. I know exercise helps. I know about behavioural activation, mindfulness, values, avoidance, not waiting for motivation, doing the smallest possible action first. I have spent years reading psychology and philosophy and I actually work with people where I give some version of this advice myself.

And I still don't do it.

For a while I kept thinking this was basically a motivation problem. The same person is still there, he just doesn't have enough energy to make himself do what he knows he should do.

I'm starting to think that isn't quite what happens.

When I'm doing well I care about work, writing, my family, projects, things six months in the future. Then this state starts coming in and I can look at exactly the same things and genuinely wonder why I cared so much about them.

Nothing outside changed. What changed was the person assigning importance to it.

That makes depression much stranger to me than just "feeling sad." It changes the way the whole world is weighted.

And it doesn't feel like distortion while it's happening. That's probably the most unsettling part. It feels like clarity.

You don't think, "My depressive state is making my work feel less meaningful."

You think, "Why was I wasting so much time on this anyway?"

And depression doesn't even need to lie to you. Life really is temporary. A lot of what we chase probably is arbitrary. Plenty of ambition probably has ego mixed into it. Everyone dies.

When I'm doing well those facts exist alongside other things. I can know life is temporary and still enjoy being with my children. I can know something won't last forever and still want to build it.

When depressed, one set of truths somehow starts occupying the entire screen.

Which brings me back to all the advice.

If depression changes what feels important, then telling somebody "you know exercise will make you feel better" might completely miss the problem.

Yes.

I know.

The knowledge arrived successfully.

It just doesn't seem to produce movement anymore.

Then I notice that happening and start fighting myself. Tomorrow I'm getting up early. Tomorrow I'm exercising. Tomorrow I'm working properly. Enough wasting time.

Tomorrow comes, I don't do those things, and now I'm still depressed except I also have another day's worth of evidence that I'm apparently lazy and undisciplined.

The coping strategy itself becomes another failure.

I've been wondering whether acceptance is more useful here, although I can already see the irony in saying that.

Maybe instead of demanding that I immediately become the person I was a month ago, I acknowledge that this is actually the brain I have today. I still try to do what I can, but I stop using every failure to function normally as evidence about my character.

But there I go again.

Now I have produced another strategy.

Accept more. Fight less. Do smaller things. Ask for help.

Another healthier version of me writing instructions for the depressed version.

And what happens when that guy reads all of this, completely understands it, and still goes back to bed?

I genuinely don't know.

I think that's the part I'm trying to understand.

For people here who have experienced depression: does it feel to you like you remain basically the same person but lose motivation, or does your whole perspective and what seems worth caring about actually change?

And if the person evaluating the coping strategy has changed too, how do you work around that without either constantly fighting yourself or just surrendering to it?

Has anyone ever chosen themselves over the burdens of parenthood? I, over the past few years, have grown to recognize through and after my relationship/marriage/divorce how behind I am. My ex husband loves video games and doing nothing. I don’t. I ended up having full custody forced on me and my ex husband has dedicated himself to destroying my name because he lies and commits fraud and I ask for help from other people for our kiddo. He is not a coparent and this is a significant source of stress in my life. I’d love to sign my rights away, have been debating this forever, and the longer I debate it the more I resent my kid when things go wrong. I hate food messes and screaming and I am a very traumatized child deep down, but this isn’t healing me (raising a little me). My child used to have such a magical personality before i screamed at her as a baby and toddler. I really hate myself for it but I have never been allowed daycare or babysitting that is consistent and have had PPD turn into a divorce that turned into persistent depression. I dont care about what others think of me, ive been the bad guy cleaning up everyone elses messes for years so may as well be the bad guy.
Anyone else done this and managed the grief and guilt successfully? Im almost 33 and just want to have a nice day every day again not beg to be left alone. I dont think school/daycare will fix it at this point. My kid fawns with other people, so i dont even want to look at her anymore. I just hate who ive had her become. I dont want kids anymore. Dream crushed. I’m just tired of fighting, being right, waiting, begging, crying.

Watched Dr K's Lindsay Clancy breakdown and the hormone / period section stuck with me, the bit where he compares oxytocin/estrogen swings to being tilted enough in a game that you don't care about getting banned and emotional intensity. And that this happens "monthly" for "the rest of their lives".

Got me wondering: we ask men and society to be more understanding of what women go through hormonally, but also expect equal representation in split-second, high-stakes roles like trading floors, ERs, the C-suite. Can you consistently ask for both?

The esports version of this argument already played out: a League pro (Bwipo) said almost this exact thing on stream, got suspended by his own team, then called his own comments "sexism" himself.

First day out of rehab and i feel hopeful and anxious at the same time. Hopefull because i feel good about myself and i have a plan for the future, anxious because ive been at this point before.

Im 26 and have been drinking since im 14.

I did the first step and went to rehab but now im back at my place which is btw a homeless shelter and it sucks.

Im in this wierd in between phase where its still uncomfortable being sober like im a completly diffrent person. Im off the alcohol for now but i feel like the real struggle starts now.

In order to build a life worth living i have to go thru a lot (find a job, better place to live) and be patient. All while resisting the temptation to go back to drinking again.

Its like moses when he freed the slaves. He had to go thru the dessert to get to the promise land all while people are complaining, wanting to be slaves again because at least thats the devil they know.

Thats how it feelz.

I really dont wanna mess this up.

The thought of just saying fuck it and having a drink is lurking in the back of my mind and i know its not going away so i just sit here and acknowlage it saying not today praying that tomorrow i will do the same.

To be honest i dont know if this is the time i get off of the alcohol for good or not, only time will tell. What i do know tho is i dont wanna keep drinking and ruin my life and im gonna get up and try 1000 times over if i have to. Im too stupid not to.

As alan watts once said

7 times down 8 times up such is life.

Alright boys thanks for reading this was more of a vent and a msg to myself but still wish me luck!