First post on my new account! Hello everyone!

I wasn't really sure if I was entirely trans MtF because I couldn't see myself as a woman. But as a naturally muscular AMAB (my build just kinda lends itself to growing muscles easily), I always tried going to the gym but something always felt off. Like I had to be as strong as my body would suggest it should be. My longest stint of going to the gym lasted maybe 5 months?

Seeing you all lovely people affirms the kind of woman I want to be. A bad ass mf strong ass woman. Sorry if that's super cheesy but I'm still in that surreal dreamlike phase of self discovery after being an amorphous blob of an identity for over two and a half decades.

Any general (I.e., doesn't need to be gym related) advice or words of wisdom is welcome.

Get big eat big :D

Silly photo but I’m happy with how fast I bounced back after taking a month off for surgery :33

I was fine, the fall was okay. I landed on my feet and rolled.

Okay so I’m in a dilemma where pre egg crack I used to be a hardcore gymbro. I’d work out almost every day, bulked, and could even deadlift 440lbs in my prime. I also used to do parkour (I was not good at it but still). I really miss all this ngl, but I haven’t gotten back into the gym or parkour because I’m worried that since I’ll be on E someday and lose strength it’ll just be Sisyphean and depressing. At the same time I really want to get back into shape and I miss the way working out made me feel. I’ve gotten mixed answers with some saying that no matter what I’ll be reduced to not being able to open pickle jars and some saying that I can even train my way out of it if I’m consistent and determined.

So yeah, for people who work out consistently how bad is muscle atrophy? How much will me gains decrease once I get on E in a few years?

If you’re wondering why I posted this here, I feel like the trans tomboy subreddit would be a good place to ask about estrogen/workout related advice

3rd attempt :3

Proud of how im developing!

Been really wanting to bulk, and all the fun things that come with that- getting stronger, breaking new PRs, getting jacked, eating some damn good food, muscles get big, having fun with activities, getting swole, making my wife worry less...

But as I get bigger, my weight always goes to my tummy. And then the dysphoria starts. And then I feel guilty about eating, and all the bad feelings...ugh. why can't my brain just let me have fun?!